Life can be rough sometimes, and it can be pretty heartbreaking when someone you care about hurts you. Whether it’s a relationship or a friendship, it can leave an ache that won’t go away. Don’t settle for someone who isn’t treating you right and make him regret it. Here are some tips on how to make him regret hurting you.
First and foremost, take some time – a step back – to start the healing process and to fully assess the situation. You don’t have to rush into anything and it’s important to give yourself some time to calm down and digest what happened.
Once you’re ready, don’t be afraid to speak up. You have the right to be heard, so express yourself! Be direct, be honest, and make it clear that you are not open for further hurt. Whether it’s confronting him and saying how you feel, or simply distancing yourself from the person and cutting him out of your life, don’t be afraid to take a stand for yourself.
When a person hurts you, it’s understandable that you’re probably not eager to show them what they’re missing out on. But here’s a thought I’d like you to consider – don’t hold back and give it your all! Show them that life can be so much better without them. Shine on, girl (or guy)!
You don’t have to do this alone, either. It is normal to need support. Focus on your hobbies, find a mentor or life coach, or reach out to a close friend. It’s okay to lean on people, it doesn’t make you any less strong.
Finally, don’t look back. It’s easier said than done, but it’s necessary for your peace of mind – and it’s a great way to make him regret how he treated you. Life’s too short to dwell on the past. Focus on yourself and the future, and don’t forget – it’s never too late to turn that frown upside down.
Take a Step Back
When it comes to getting revenge, the first step is always to take a step back. Seething with fury and anger is only going to drag you deeper into the problem and make him feel worse for hurting you. Taking a step back and giving yourself some space is the key to getting started on the road to revenge.
What can happen when you take a step back? Well, firstly, you have time to breathe and gain some perspective. You can also think back on the situation calmly and decide if it really merited revenge. Most of the time it does and when you take a step back you can gain the tools necessary to make sure you hurt him as much as he hurt you.
Your first step should be to allow yourself some time. Take a day, a week or even a month away from him to really get yourself in the right mindset. You will need to make sure that you are in a place mentally where you can take some positive steps forward and don’t allow yourself to be dragged back into the sense of despair and hurt. This may be tough, but you should also think about how you want to present yourself to him when you approach the problem again. Being calm and collected will be much more impressive than letting your emotions get the better of you.
During the time you are away, you should think about how you want the revenge to play out. What steps do you want to take, and how can you make sure that he really regrets what he did? The way forward will depend completely on the situation you are in, however, it is important to remember that whatever you do, it should not cause further harm to either you or him. It is important to stay within the bounds of the law and to remember that violence can never be condoned.
By doing this, you have successfully taken a step back and can now think about how best to make him regret hurting you. Remembering to stay within the confines of the law is key, and also keep your cool. Don’t let yourself be pulled back into despair and hurt, but instead focus on the positive steps that you can take to make him regret hurting you.
Speak Up
Trying to get retribution and make them eyes pop out of your ex-partner’s head? You need to learn the valued art of speaking up.
Talking is something that us humans learn from day dot. It’s something that’s as natural as breathing. It’s just part of our everyday lives. But we’ve all been in situations where talking can be difficult. It’s natural to want to clam up when in the face of adversity, but if you’re wanting to make someone regret hurting you, then talk it out.
No one wants to open up to someone that they feel has hurt them, not even when they’re trying to grab back a bit of power. This can be especially tough if you used to be close with this person. But tough times call for tough measures.
Find a way to voice yourself. This doesn’t have to be confrontational. Yes, you can tell him he wronged you and how he hurt you, but if direct confrontation isn’t your style, then feel free to do it in a different way. Talk to his friends or family and tell them exactly how it happened and how it made you feel.
If your pain and heartache is too much to bear, then seek out counselling. Find someone who can talk to and can help you process your emotions and feelings. Bringing an unbiased third party in to an uncomfortable situation can help you to regulate your emotions and can help stop yourself from saying something that you’ll later regret.
Just remember, when it comes to really getting someone to regret their wrong doings, even if it’s just a little, you need to speak up.
Show Him What He is Missing Out On
Have you ever had someone hurt you and you find they don’t even care? Do you feel like they haven’t taken a second to consider your feelings or the consequences of their actions? If this sounds familiar, you might feel motivated to want to make them regret and realize what they’re missing out on now that you’re gone. Well, if that’s how you feel then don’t worry, I’m here to help!
Let’s get started with the first step: showing him what he’s missing out on. To do this, you don’t necessarily have to go out and purchase a billboard so that your former flame knows what he’s missing out on. While that may be an option for some, it’s not always an option for everyone. So, what can you do to show him what he’s missing out without breaking the bank?
Well, first of all you can do something simple but powerful and post pictures on social media doing things that you love, things that you’ve never done with him or things that he never took the time to do with you. This will let him know that you’re living a full and enjoyable life and he’s not a part of it anymore.
You can also use emails and text messages to send little reminders of the amazing things he’s missing out on. Stop by your favorite coffee shop, take a picture and send him a coffee with a message like,
“just wanted you to know I’m here and I’m living my best life. Hope your coffee’s as good as mine”.
Another way to show him what he’s missing out on is to go out and paint the town with your friends. Show him that you don’t need him to have a good time. Going out and just having a blast with friends is a great way to let him know that you’re done wasting your life away on someone who can’t even treat you right.
Finally, don’t forget to flaunt your successes in his face. So, whether he hurt you or not, use the moments that matter to you to shine your brightest self in front of him and show him what he’s missing out on not being in your life. With that let him see that you don’t need him and he’ll definitely regret not treating you right.
All in all, the best way to show him what he’s missing is to live your best life and be happy. Don’t let him bring you down or let his opinions be the ones to tell you what you need and who you need to be. Put yourself first and remember that life is too short to chase what isn’t meant for you. So make it known that you’re not willing to entertain any bad vibes and don’t look back. Show him what he’s missing out on and let him regret ever hurting you.
Get Support
When it comes to making your ex regret hurting you, getting support from family and friends is another way to make sure things turn out in your favor. After all, having others to comfort you, encourage you, and hold you accountable is essential for anyone trying to move forward in their lives.
And depending on your situation, getting others involved can also be a useful way of getting an apology from your ex. More often than not, if your loved ones confront him directly or if they make him understand that his behavior was wrong, he’s more likely to apologize and feel remorse for his actions.
So, don’t be shy about seeking out help when you’re still hurting inside. Chances are that those closest to you know exactly how to help you best and the support you get will make all the difference when it comes to making him regret his actions.
But, don’t forget that the pain won’t go away overnight. You’ll need to be patient, kind to yourself, and take things one step at a time. And, at the same time, don’t be afraid to express your feelings. Whether it’s in the form of writing out a list or screaming at the top of your lungs, releasing all that pain to the world can be surprisingly therapeutic.
If you don’t have trusted family or friends nearby, there are tons of other support outlets available to you. Whether it’s going to a therapist or a support group that caters specifically to people who have been hurt in relationships, know that you are not alone and that there are tons of other individuals out there who have gone through the same type of pain.
So, don’t be afraid to seek out help and make him regret hurting you. All it takes is the courage to put one foot in front of the other and eventually, you’ll make it out of this storm and come out feeling much stronger on the other side.
Don’t Look Back
When you’ve been hurt by someone, especially someone you thought you loved, it can be hard to let it go. But one of the most important things you can do for yourself when you’ve been hurt is to try not to look back. No matter what, don’t think about the times you shared together and do your best to move forwards.
Don’t waste your time on wondering what could have been, what you could have done better, and more importantly, don’t spend time thinking about him. If he hurt you, then it’s better for your future if you just keep away, because it’s likely that he won’t change anytime soon.
This doesn’t mean that you have to stop living your life, because one of the best ways you can make him regret hurting you is to show him what he’s missing out on. Don’t wallow in self-pity, don’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself, and don’t forget who you are.
Instead, go out and do the things you’ve been wanting to do but didn’t get to because you were too focused on him. Go to a movie with friends, take a random trip, try something you’ve always wanted to. Let him the see what an amazing life you’re living without him, and he’ll sing a different tune.
In order to make sure you don’t look back, it’s important to channel your feelings and use them to your advantage. If you’re feeling angry, find something constructive to do with that anger. Go to the gym, clean up your living space, donate to a charity, or even talk to a mental health expert. Whatever it is that you choose to do, make sure its something good.
The most important thing is to keep moving forward in your life and focus on yourself. Don’t look back and reflect on what could have been, focus on where your life is heading and how you want to reach your goals. That’s how you’ll make him regret hurting you.
When it comes to how to make your ex jealous, it’s all about choosing the right outfit. You want to pick something that will set you apart and make you stand out. After all, you want to make sure your ex notices you!
If you’re a guy, start with a fitted button-down shirt in a bright color or a bold pattern. Make sure it’s tucked in and that there are no wrinkles. Put on a pair of dark, slim fitting jeans, and a nice pair of shoes, like stylish boat shoes or Oxfords.
For the ladies, you can never go wrong with a little black dress. Add high heels for a more sultry look. If you’re going for a daytime look, try a dressy skirt and a nice blouse. Accessorize like crazy—jewelry, scarf, and the works!
Your aim here is to find something that will make you look irresistible — something that shows off your best features. Put on a shade of lipstick or eyeshadow your ex has never seen you wear. Wear something daring and unexpected, like a pair of skinny jeans or an edgy leather jacket.
Now to top it off, you’ll need a signature piece. Something that really makes you stand out in the crowd. This can be a colorful watch, or a bold statement necklace. Get creative!
When you’re done putting together your outfit, you should go grab a mirror and take a good long look at yourself! You should ooze confidence and be one hundred percent sure of yourself when you step out that door. If you have any doubts about your outfit, that will translate in your body language and you won’t be giving off the message you’re aiming for.
Once you’ve nailed your outfit, you’re good to go! Put your best foot forward and don’t be afraid to show off the amazing new you. Make sure your ex sees the eye-catching new you, and watch as their jaw drops! So go ahead, pick out an outfit and set the stage for your mission to make your ex jealous!
Choose Your Outfit
When it comes to making your ex jealous, your outfit is an essential part of the puzzle. Adding the perfect touch of sexiness or swag can really drive them insane!
Clothing can be a great way to express your personality, so make sure to choose something that really stands out in the crowd. Go for something stylish, yet casual and always consider what the occasion is. For example, an outdoor barbecue may call for a flowy maxi dress or some denim shorts. Or if you know you’ll be hitting up a club, rock a tight dress and some killer heels.
If you’re not into dressing up, that’s cool too! Just trade in your lounge wear for some fitting jeans and a stylish top, add some bold accessories, and you’re all set!
To give off extra edge, opt for darker and more mysterious colors like grays, black, and navy. Or, if you want to bring the drama, deepen your outfit with some reds and oranges!
And don’t forget that little extra something like a trendy belt or scarf to draw attention to the outfit! As long as you’re feeling good, you’ll look amazing and have your ex beaming with jealousy.
Get a New Hair Style
Ahhh, nothing turns heads like a new hair style: exes in particular. Showing off a fresh hairdo is the perfect way to make your ex jealous of what they’re missing out on. Here’s how to get that sleek, shiny look that will have everyone talking.
First, decide what kind of style you want. Will it involve a color change or are you sticking to your natural hue? The direction you choose will depend largely on what kind of impression you want to make. If you want to show that you’re wild and daring, go for a crazy split-color look. But if you want to look more serious, you can’t do much better than your standard dark brown, black, or auburn color.
Next, consider length. Are you looking to make a big change or just a subtle update? If you want to go shorter, make sure you understand what kind of maintenance it requires. The last thing you want is a bad hair day when all eyes are on you.
Once you’ve decided on a style and length, it’s time to find a good hair stylist. If you’re doing a dramatic change you might want to go to a professional salon. Otherwise, a friend or family member may be able to help you out. Make sure you trust the person who is going to be wielding the shears and give them a clear idea of the look you’re going for!
Once you have a new ‘do, make sure you show it off! Post endless selfies, get cozy with the Snapchat filter options, or flaunt it at your next social gathering. With your new look, your ex will be drooling over the amazing transformation. And you’ll be the talk of the town, so you can’t lose!
So those are the ways you can make sure to get the perfect hair style to make your ex jealous. Find a style, find the right person to do it, and show it off! With a new look, you’ll be ready to show your ex what they’re missing out on.
Make Sure to Look Your Best
Hey there! When it comes to making your ex jealous, the most important thing is to look your best. Sure, you want to buy a nice new outfit, but what’s even more important than that is to make sure you look your best. Think of it this way – a nice outfit is just a frame for what it’s setting off. So if you walk around with a great outfit but your hair’s a mess, your face is all blotchy and you have bags under your eyes, it won’t do much good.
First of all, and this is the most important step, make sure you’re smiling! Smiling will automatically make you look more attractive. Plus, it’s one of the best ways to show off your happiness, and you want your ex to be jealous of your joie de vie. I know that it’s very difficult to do when you’re still reeling over the breakup, but don’t give in to the tears – put on your best game face and don’t let them see you sweat.
The next thing you want to do is to make sure you’re taking good care of yourself. Exercise regularly and make sure to eat healthy. All of this will help you to look your best, which is the goal you should always be aiming for. And if you don’t know what kind of exercise to do, or you don’t know what kind of healthy foods to eat, don’t worry – just look up some YouTube videos, or even better, ask a friend to help you out.
Last of all, don’t forget to pamper yourself a little bit too. I’m not saying you should go out and buy a bunch of expensive makeup products, but just take a few extra steps to make sure you’re looking your best. Take a nice hot bath, maybe use a nice face mask and make sure you look fabulous!
So now you should be looking your best, and your ex won’t know exactly what hit them. Now it’s time to start showing them off and make sure your ex knows you’re looking great.
Most Important – Smile!
We get it. It’s hard to smile after a tough breakup. You’ve been through the wringer, so the last thing you feel like doing is plastering a happy face on for the world to see, let alone for your ex. But guess what? It’s going to make all the difference, especially if you’re out in public. Show them how sweet life is—without them.
Smile and act like an upbeat, happier person. It will create an atmosphere that your ex won’t have any choice but to notice. This can throw your ex off balance, because they won’t be expecting it.
When you’re out and about in public, give off the subtle but sure signs that you are just living the good life. Laugh out loud when you hear something funny. Give a genuine compliment to a passing stranger. Chain-link some compliments together and make people feel good.
The more you smile and exude confidence, the more you’ll have it, and the more you’ll have people noticing you. If your ex notices you, the more likely it is that you’ll make them feel jealous. Especially if you were always the life of the party when you two were together.
The thing is, don’t be over the top with it. Don’t stuff your face with food during dates or yell at anyone in public. Even if you’re feeling sad, put on a brave face and just melt into the night. Smile, and let the world know that you are doing just fine.
Word will get back to your ex. They’ll have no choice but to ask
“what’s happening in your life, why are people talking about you, where have you been?”
And then, bingo. You’ve got them asking questions—and envying your freedom just a bit. That’s when you know you’ve achieved the goal!
And when it’s all said and done, at the end of the night, your ex might just be a little bit envious.
Exercise and Eat Healthy
Exercising and eating healthy is the secret to making your ex jealous. After all, looking good makes you feel good—and your freshly-strong body and glowing skin will be sure to make your ex regret the decision to break up with you. Let’s get started!
The first thing you need to do is get yourself moving. Start by signing up for a gym membership or two. You should be able to find a gym that fits your budget and your schedule. Look for classes that are outside of your comfort zone—like Crossfit or martial arts to really show off your newly-developed muscles. Take advantage of those membership discounts to make it even more affordable.
Once you’re in the gym, don’t be afraid to ask the instructors for advice. They should be able to tell you what kind of workout routine would be best suited to your level of fitness and what kinds of exercises would benefit you the most. Make sure to listen to their advice and get the most out of every workout.
Eating healthy goes hand in hand with exercising. Start by stocking up on healthy snacks like fruits, nuts and veggies to have on-hand when hunger strikes. Once you have the basics, try looking up some delicious, nutritious recipes that you can whip up in no time. Eating healthy doesn’t have to be boring—you can even spruce up your meals with simple, gourmet options.
Make sure to drink plenty of water throughout the day and if you’re feeling a bit sluggish, try replacing a caffeinated drink with a smoothie or tea. You’ll be surprised at how refreshed and energetic you feel afterwards.
Don’t forget to reward yourself for all the hard work you’ve been putting in. Treat yourself to a massage, or get your nails done. Or, if you want to really show off, invite your ex to join you!
Making your ex jealous might seem like a daunting task—but if you take the time to exercise and eat healthy, it’ll be easier than you think. Take the time to focus on your health and you’ll be on your way to turning those jealous looks into.. well, whatever comes after that!
Show Off
Ah, what better way to make your ex jealous than to subtly remind them of what they are missing! Showing off your new look and sense of confidence is key here.
First things first, make sure your ex sees pictures of you looking your best. Post new photos on social media and update your profile picture regularly. Feel free to partake in some shameless selfies or photos with friends or family. This will show your ex that you are confident, independent, and happy.
You should also show off by sharing details of your exciting life on social media. Post pictures of any events you attend such a movie premieres, gallery openings, or even a simple coffee date with a friend. Your ex would love to know that you are still living life to the fullest, even without them!
The key is to (cleverly!) mention activities without going into too much detail. This will leave your ex with more questions than answers, and if they’re really curious, they’ll reach out to you. Just make sure that you do not make the mistake of oversharing.
The last piece of the puzzle is to give off the vibe that you’re no longer attached to them in any ways. Going out with friends, especially dancing, establishes you as a single person that’s not attached to anyone. Taking some time to also show interest in other people will make your ex jealous, as they’ll be wondering if you’re already dating someone else.
Remember, the point is not to make your ex jealous – it’s to get them to realize they made a mistake and still have a chance to win you back. So don’t go overboard with your efforts. Follow the golden rules of wearing stylish outfits, staying positive, eating healthy and of course, showing off a little bit on social media!
Make Sure Your Ex Sees Pictures of You
If you want your ex to get jealous, one of the best ways to do it is to make sure they know what you’ve been up to! As much as you think it’s a good idea to to post pictures of yourself living your best life in the hottest spots, it’s not always the best idea. You don’t want to come off as bitter and vindictive. That won’t get you anywhere with your ex.
So how do you subtly show off your fabulous life? The answer is simple: social media. It’s the perfect way to let your ex see you living your best (and happiest) life. Whether you’re in the VIP section of the hottest club or sipping a fruity cocktail on the beach, one picture can tell a huge story, and your ex will definitely feel the envy.
But of course, you can’t just post a picture and expect the jealousy to take place. You have to craft an even more powerful message, one that will make them feel like they’re missing out. Commenting on your post with a cheeky remark, like
“wishing you were here, babe”, or “just having a blast with my crew”
adds a bit of subtlety to the situation.
If you’re not a fan of social media, you can always take a more old school route. Pick up that polaroid and take a few snaps of special moments – like when you’re out with good friends, or enjoying a thrilling adventure with your family. Hang the polaroids up in your room and take the time to upload them to your ex later on. It’s sure to send them the message that you’re living your best and happiest life without them.
However you decide to show off to your ex, one thing that remains the same is that you don’t want to come off as spiteful or petty. If anything, you want to make sure that even though you’re living your life without them, you still have their best interests at heart. Just have fun with it, repost old memories and set out on new adventures- your ex will notice and you’ll feel the satisfaction.
Share Details of Your Events
We all know the best way to make your ex jealous is to show them you’ve been having a great time without them. Social media can be your best friend in this situation! Make sure to take plenty of pictures of your events with friends and share them. Make sure your ex sees them. Post pictures of your dinner out with friends and make sure to mention what great food everyone had. Do the same with pictures you take clubbing and events you go to. Make sure your ex sees them to show them what a great time you’ve been having without them.
Take this a step further and share the details of your events. Let your ex know what a great time you had with your friends and how much fun the night was. Talk about the amazing conversations and introduce your ex to the people you’ve been hanging out with. Do a little bragging about any projects or events you’ve been working on that have made you a star in your group of friends. Show your ex that your social life has been booming without them!
Remember that the key here is to be subtle but impactful – you don’t have to go into the nitty-gritty details during every post. Your ex should get the bigger picture without needing to know all the specifics. Think of this as a way to express your post-split zest for life. Show your ex that you’ve still got plenty of energy and that life has been more exciting since you’ve been single again!
Pretend You’re Single Now
I’m sure you’re now asking yourself, ok, great, so I looked good and had fun activities, now what? Now you are ready for the big step: pretending you’re now single. I know, this may sound a little crazy, but it will have a big effect. You have to convince your ex that the break up was the only solution, show that you’ve already moved on and are perfectly fine without them.
The first thing to do is to clearly show your ex that you’re done with them. Make sure they understand that you don’t want anything to do with them anymore. No more calling, texting, emails, voicemails, etc. Don’t answer if they try to contact you, even if it’s just a friendly chat. It may be hard, I know, but if you really want to make your ex jealous this is what you have to do.
Once you’ve made it clear that you no longer want to be in the same orbit as your ex, it’s time to show them that you have a wide variety of activities that can keep you busy. Go out with your friends, have some fun and make sure your ex sees pictures or hears about these outings. After all, why should you stay home pining for a person who clearly doesn’t want you anymore? You deserve to have a great time and if your ex was smart enough to notice, maybe they will come back for you.
And of course, if you’ve got the guts, don’t be afraid to show an interest in other people. Nothing will make your ex jealous like seeing you with someone else. We all have that friend who knows a lot of good-looking guys and girls. Ask them to introduce you and go out with them. Of course, that doesn’t mean you should date them, but it will be enough to make your ex wonder if you’re really single now.
Having fun and looking good are just part of the plan, of course. You also have to show that you can take care of yourself without the help of your ex. Show that your life is full of activities and people who want to spend time with you. This should help to make your ex jealous and really regret the decision of breaking up with you. So, it’s time to go out there and start having a good time!
Show Your Ex You’re Done with Them
What do you do when you want your ex to be jealous? That’s a difficult one, but there’s one thing that might help. Show them that you’re done with them! It’s important to showcase that you no longer have any interest in them and have moved on from them.
You don’t have to stay holed up in your house for the rest of your life, just because your ex may be around! Get out there, have some fun, and live your life as if your ex didn’t exist. Cut off all communication with them, let them know you don’t want to talk to them, and that you’ve moved on.
Do things that make you look happy and independent, like taking classes, joining a club, or going out with friends. Even if those friends are the same ones your ex was there with, don’t be scared! The point is to show your ex that you can still do the same things you used to do without them, maybe even better.
Go to the same places you used to go with your ex, like out to eat at their favorite restaurant or the movies. Have fun, laugh and just be happy! Your ex will get to see that you’re doing great without them and will eventually get jealous.
Make sure to always look and feel your best when you go around town. Put on a dress or a suit and go all out for yourself. This act of self-care will if nothing else make you feel confident and in charge of your life. And that feeling will attract the attention of other people, to show your ex that you can attract attention from everyone, including them.
You don’t need to get into any petty arguments or gossip with them or their friends to prove that message. Just let your actions speak louder than words, by showing them that you’ve moved on in a mature, healthy way. That’s why it’s important to focus on yourself and your goals and not worry too much about what your ex is doing behind closed doors, because pretty soon it’ll be them jealous of you!
Go Out With Friends and Show Interest in Other People
It’s time to make your ex jealous! Going out with your friends is the perfect opportunity to make an impression on your ex and show them what they’re missing. Make sure to dress to impress, bring your most attractive friends, and enjoy the night!
When you’re out, make sure your ex knows you’re having a great time. Post pictures with your friends on social media, even tag your ex if you want to go for the extra mile. Show that you’re having a great time with your friends and that you don’t need your ex to enjoy your life.
When you’re out, make sure your ex also notices that you’re interested in other people. Show that you’re enjoying yourself and that you’re not pining for your ex. Be friendly, chat with people, dance with other people, and let it shine that you’re open to certain possibilities.
And what if your ex comes to the same place you are? Just act natural! Don’t ignore them but don’t be overbearing either. Show them that you have plenty of people to talk to and that you don’t have time to give them all of your attention. Chat with them if they approach you, but don’t linger.
Making your ex jealous isn’t something you should do to hurt them, but rather to show that you’re doing great without them and that you don’t need them to be happy in life. Don’t let them control your emotions and your actions. Go out and have a great time with your friends and show that you’re open to other possibilities. Have fun and make sure your ex knows they are missing out!
Boy oh boy, there’s a phrase for everything these days, am I right? Well, the 80/20 rule in marriage is no exception. It’s been around for a while, too. Before I get into the nitty-gritty, let’s start by covering the basics.
So what is the 80-20 Rule in marriage? The 80-20 rule in marriage essentially states that you should get 80 percent from your partner and give the other 20 percent to him or her. This means that 80 percent of the time, you should be able to provide the majority of your needs with little to no assistance from your significant other. The other 20 percent should focus mainly on an effort that comes from your partner.
So, why is this rule so important? Well, it helps to minimize the amount of stress that can come with a marriage. This is because it helps couples to focus on each other’s strengths instead of their weaknesses. As a result, couples can better appreciate the individual differences that make a marriage successful.
When it comes to the benefits of the 80/20 rule in marriage, there are plenty. For starters, it encourages couples to take a look at themselves and assess their personal needs. This encourages self-reflection because it forces couples to really think about what they need and why they need it. Additionally, it also prevents partners from taking advantage of one another, which is great for keeping the peace and ensuring that each partner feels as though their contributions are appreciated.
Now, it wouldn’t be fair to talk about the rule without discussing the drawbacks. Unfortunately, the 80/20 rule in marriage can often make it difficult for partners to delegate tasks and agree on shared commitments. This is because it encourages couples to place the majority of their effort into individual needs, which can make it tough to coordinate plans or come to a consensus on how to divide up responsibilities.
There you have it! That’s my take on the 80/20 rule in marriage. It’s an interesting concept that has a lot of potentials if it’s implemented correctly. Just remember to be mindful of your partner’s needs and work together to make sure that your roles are balanced and work toward the same end.
The Basics
Hey there, so if you are here, you are likely wondering what the heck is the 80/20 rule in marriage. Well, you’ve probably seen the phrase thrown around, but what does it really mean?
The 80/20 rule in marriage is based on the Pareto–Minimax theorem, which states that the optimal decision-making process comes from minimizing the maximum regret.
But don’t worry, this doesn’t mean that you need to be a scientist or math whiz to understand the 80/20 rule in marriage. Put real simple, the 80/20 rule suggests that in any relationship, you should spend 80% of your time doing the good stuff (like saying ‘I love you’ and having date nights) and only 20% of your time dealing with the difficult stuff.
So how does this work in practice? For example, when it comes to finances, it means that 80% of your energy should be spent on positive activities like budgeting and saving money and only 20% should be spent on arguing about money and trying to find ways to make ends meet. This way, you both get to enjoy the positive experience of saving money and working together towards a common goal instead of having to deal with the stress of being in debt.
In order to make sure that the 80/20 rule is working for you, it’s important to set some ground rules for yourself. This could mean limiting the amount of time that you and your partner spend arguing, scheduling regular date nights and only talking about finances once or twice a month. It’s also important to monitor how much time each of you is spending on the positive versus the negative so that you both can strive to make the most of your relationship.
So there you have it! That’s the basics of the 80/20 rule in marriage. Hopefully, this article has demystified the concept for you and strategies to help you and your partner work together to make the most of your relationship. Good luck!
The Benefits
When it comes to the benefits of the 80/20 rule in marriage, man, there are so many! First off, it’s all about balance, right? You’re partners, not one person’s assistant. This means that 80 percent of the time, you each get to do what you want and enjoy what you like without needing to worry about the other person’s opinion. Of course, the other 20 percent of the time you have to be considerate.
The beauty of the 80/20 rule is that it doesn’t impose an onerous burden on either partner. You get the majority of the time to do what you want, when you want to do it, without feeling guilty about it. For example, during the 80 percent, you can attend a football game or rock concert with your buddies, while your partner can skip it and attend in-laws dinner to please the family. What you gain in terms of freedom and flexibility is truly amazing.
What’s more, the 80/20 rule in marriage also fosters a better understanding of each other. Sure, you may get your own way 80 percent of the time. But that means that 20 percent of the time, you are putting aside your own wants and needs to consider the other person, which can be a great way to get to know each other better.
And all of this happens without the other person feeling neglected or taken advantaged of because you get an equal amount of time for yourself and for being together. With the 80/20 principle, you create a healthy balance in your relationship and have an equitable measure of control over who does what and when.
By following the 80/20 balance in marriage, you can enjoy shared activities without having to feel guilty all the time. And same applies to spending time apart, which allows you to maintain personal interests while keeping your partner happy, thereby keeping the peace in your marriage.
It’s win/win! With the 80/20 rule, you both get to have your cake and eat it too. Sounds perfect, right? Well, that’s why it’s kicked around as one of the best tools for marriage around.
The Drawbacks
Are you ready to get the bad news? Unfortunately, not everything about the 80/20 rule in marriage is sunshine and roses. This rule can backfire pretty badly in certain situations. Here are some of the drawbacks to consider before you decide to adopt the 80/20 rule in your own marriage.
First, the 80/20 rule can be a bit too extreme. Couples who employ this rule often find themselves practically living separate lives. While some autonomy is necessary in any marriage, if you spend too much time on your own projects, then it can be difficult to connect with your partner. Also, if the 80/20 rule isn’t applied properly, then one partner can feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities of the marriage while the other partner can take more liberties.
Second, this rule can be difficult to maintain. It requires a certain level of self-awareness, discipline and communication. If any one of these three elements isn’t in place, then it can be hard to make the 80/20 relationship work. A couple must know each other’s likes, dislikes and expectations in order to remain balanced.
Finally, one of the major drawbacks to the 80/20 rule is that it can easily lead to infidelity. If one partner is too busy pursuing their own interests, the other partner may start to feel neglected and seek outside interests. This leads to temptation and sometimes dangerous situations. Before entering into the 80/20 relationship, both partners must be aware of the possibility for extramarital affairs and make sure that their marriage is strong enough to withstand them.
As you can see, the 80/20 rule isn’t perfect and there are some potential drawbacks that couples should be aware of before jumping in. But don’t worry, if you’re careful and understand the potential pitfalls, then there’s no reason the 80/20 rule can’t lead to a perfectly balanced and happy marriage! Keep your communication open and honest and you’ll be on the right track.
Ahh, romantic relationships. Some are blissful, like a ride for two on a cupid’s bow. Others, well, not so much. It’s normal to think that your special one may not feel as special anymore, and you’ve noticed little things that make you worry she’s got someone else on her mind.
You’re noticing signs she has someone else, but you don’t want to be paranoid. Maybe if you’re lucky you can find a smoking gun and see if it’s really true. So if you are starting to be suspicious, here are some things she does that may make you worry.
The first thing on the list – she won’t answer your calls. You’re checking your call log and seeing that the call duration is minimal, or worse… She’s not returning your calls at all.
Another sign is she seems to be more distant to you. She doesn’t talk to you as much, not really reliable to make plans or touch base. Maybe it’s because she’s been hanging out with new friends, they seem kind of shady, who knows?
You’re with her and suddenly she gets a call that she needs to take? That’s happened before when both of you were hanging out. But now it feels different, it just doesn’t feel the same.
Trust your gut. It doesn’t feel right, and you can’t shake the feeling. You don’t want to appear clingy but the truth is when your important person is not fully there for you, it’s hard not to be suspicious.
It’s normal that you’re feeling this way. If you’re picking up on some signs she’s got someone else, it’s time to take a deep breath and take the necessary steps to move forward.
She Become More Distant To You
You know when you have been with someone for a long time and suddenly, they become a totally different person? That’s exactly what happens when your significant other starts to become distant from you. It usually starts with simple gestures, like slowly becoming less responsive to your messages, opting out of social events or gatherings instead of going with you, or not paying as much attention to you when you’re together.
That’s not to say that everyone has someone else if they start to become distant from you. There could be a variety of reasons they might be going through something and just need some space. But it could also be the first sign that they are no longer interested in the relationship and their focus has shifted elsewhere.
It can be really tough to make sense of it if you’re really into someone and you think the feelings are mutual. It’s a bit like a puzzle, trying to figure out what the signs mean. It doesn’t help that people tend to be subtle about this sort of thing – you could be seeing an abundance of signs and still feel like you aren’t sure about the conclusions.
So if your girl is acting distant and is ignoring you, it might be time for you to put on your detective hat and start asking some questions – maybe then you can begin to piece together what is going on.
She Won’t Answer Your Calls
So you’ve noticed that when you call her number you get no answer. You keep trying to reach her and thinking maybe she’s busy and can’t pick up the phone right now or that the phone is out of charge or something equally plausible. But the next day – and the day after, and the one after that, and the one after that – still no answer.
You start to wonder if she actually has someone else because, for once, your calls don’t seem important enough to be answered. Maybe it’s not the phone itself – maybe the problem is that she’s just not that interested in speaking to you anymore.
Maybe she’s with someone else who she finds much more entertaining that you. She would rather stay in his company and let your calls go unanswered. To be honest, you’re starting to feel a bit frustrated, maybe even a bit angry.
You feel like you’re being played and the only thing you know is that you don’t appreciate it at all. You know that if you were the one who wouldn’t pick up the phone, you’d find yourself in hot waters. But here you are, a proper gentleman waiting for the phone to be picked up, knowing nothing except that she’s avoiding you.
It’s like she’s using your unanswered calls to communicate her innermost feelings. Every unanswered call feels like a slap in the face. Yes, you start to believe that she’s found someone else and she doesn’t have time for you anymore.
The only thing we can say is that if you suspect that she has someone else and she’s not answering your calls, you should definitely consider that it may be true. It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t care about you at all, maybe it’s just that she has different priorities now and you’re not at the top of the list.
She Started Hanging Out with Her New Friends
Oh boy, if the woman of your dreams suddenly seems to be hanging out with this whole new group of “friends,” you should be concerned. This could be one of the biggest indicators that she’s seeing someone else.
When you two were together, she usually just hung out with you and a few of your buddies from time to time. Now, however, there are these new people in her life, and she starts spending more and more time with them.
You begin to ask yourself, who is this new crew of people? Are they really friends she’s suddenly so close to, or are they the new additions to her boo’s crew?
“I’m meeting with friends from work,” and “It’s a special outing with my friends from school.”
All these new pals, though, while they may be buddies, they may also be her new love interest and his group of friends.
Subtle Signs That Show She has Someone Else
If there’s one thing a good man stands for it’s being a good judge of situations – including signs that your girlfriend might have someone else. Here’s what to look out for if you suspect your girl has someone else in the picture.
Things that you thought were cute in the beginning might just become signs that she has someone else if you pay attention. You know, those inside jokes that she talks about with her friends? Don’t think they’re innocent; they’re just way too funny and only she and her new friends understand it.
One of the most obvious signs that she has someone else is when she starts hanging up the phone faster than usual. We all know how a regular phone call typically ends for couples, so once you notice that things are getting a lot shorter, it can be an indication.
If you had initially planned to do something together but she suddenly has no time, there’s something else at play here. It could be that she’s too busy with her new found love. Better be mindful of that.
Another sign that she might be seeing someone else is if she’s always hiding her phone from you and won’t even let you touch it. That’s a huge red flag and not something to be taken lightly.
Oh, social media? That’s another major giveaway. If she’s having secret conversations or liking images posted by someone that’s unfamiliar to you, something isn’t right.
Finally, if she’s suddenly canceling plans with you at the last minute every other time, there’s also a good chance that she’s putting someone else as first priority.
Before it all gets out of hand and you two part ways, it’s important to get to the bottom of it and find out what’s really going on. Talk to her about it in a calm manner. Listen to her and try to be understanding and don’t get too upset or jealous. If, in the end, you find that there’s someone else, you’d just have to accept it and move on. That’s just the nature of things, I’m afraid.
She Hangs Up The Phone Faster Than Usual
Now, of course, with all relationships there are ebbs and flows. You’re at one spot with communication while another day you feel like you can talk forever on the phone. It’s a relationship! It’s normal to have different levels of communication throughout the night.
But, if the phone calls you two shared suddenly become much shorter than usual, it might mean something else is at play. If your girl is hanging up the phone after just a few minutes, it could be a sign that someone else has her attention. Maybe you two were having a great conversation and then, suddenly, she just hangs it up? That could be a sign that you need to start asking questions.
Maybe she can get away with this one-time and blame it on being tired or busy. But if this is happening more often and you start to suspect that she’s hanging up on you because someone else caught her attention, it might be time to bring it up. More concerningly, it could be a sign that she’s talking to someone else while talking to you.
The best thing to do when it comes to this one is to pay attention and have faith in yourself. If you think that something is not right, then it’s time to check in with her and ask if there’s something going on. But if she continues to hang up on you faster and faster, it could be a sign that she has become interested in someone else. So, don’t be afraid to go up and question her about it. After all, it’s better to be safe than sorry.
You Hear Random “inside jokes” That You Are Not Included In
What do you do when you hear your own girlfriend telling a joke to another guy that you don’t understand? It’s a sure sign she’s got someone else.
It’s a situation that we’ve all been in before — you’re sitting at home, and then you hear your own girlfriend laughing at something that a guy she knows is saying. You can tell it’s a joke, but you don’t get it — she’s giggling heartily, and you have no idea why.
It could be a simple case of her catching up with an old friend, but more often than not, it’s a sign that she’s got someone else in her life. After all, humans love to share inside jokes — it’s how we bond with people. When a woman has a beloved someone that she shares private jokes with, it usually means she’s got somebody else to turn to.
It’s one of those subtle signs you won’t see coming but is pretty painful when you finally realize what has happened. If you find yourself in this situation, be prepared to face the truth – your beloved has moved on and is now sharing jokes with someone else.
It’s easy to jump to conclusions in these situations, and it’s crucial that you remain calm. Instead of becoming angry and accusing her of cheating, let her know that you feel left out and would like to join in on the joke. A good sign would be if she’s willing to explain it to you — if that’s not the case, then chances are someone else is involved in the picture.
Jealousy can be a powerful emotion, and it can cloud our judgement and consume us. The best way out of this situation is to try and focus on yourself and leave the investigation for later. If you can find it within yourself to remain supportive, then kudos to you — it will help you deal with the situation better when your suspicions are confirmed.
Whether or not your partner really has someone else in her life, the fact that you’ve caught her out in the midst of an inside joke with another person probably doesn’t sit well with you. It is important to note that it may not necessarily be something nefarious — she could just be a social butterfly. But either way, something needs to be done.
The best thing you can do is talk to your partner and find out what’s really going on. Remember to stay calm and Listen carefully. If your suspicions turn out to be true and she really has someone else, then get prepared to accept what has happened and move forward with your life.
She Gets Busy When You Both Have Planned To Do Something Together
Ah, the age-old classic that really should be an official sign she has someone else. We’ve all been there – you make plans with your lady, you’re both looking forward to it, and then… boom! Something else suddenly comes up and she’s unavailable. This could be a dead giveaway that she’s seeing someone else.
Let’s say you and your lady had plans for a movie night, or a fun lunch at her favorite spot. You’re both looking forward to it and nothing can bring you down… until she suddenly tells you the plans will have to be cancelled. Instead of you two enjoying whatever you both planned, you are left on your own, with a feeling of confusion and disappointment.
Most likely, when this happens it’s because she’s busy with someone else. All of the sudden, something more important comes up that she can’t miss out on. This is a five-finger slap in the face which should tell you that she has someone else in her life.
It could even be that she’s cancelled plans with you for a few times in a row, like a lunch here and a movie night there. Or, perhaps she’s cancelling plans with you even when she booked it with you in advance. If this is the case, you should try to look elsewhere for an explanation.
I’m not saying she’s cheating, and I’m not trying to make accusations. However, if this keeps happening and you can’t make heads or tales of it, it could be another sign she’s got a special someone in her life that is taking precedence over you.
At the same time, it could be that she’s just putting other things first, like her work, her family or her health. That’s why it’s important to talk to her about it, if you feel like something is off and to take into account all of the possibilities.
Now, if it turns out she does have someone else, come on… cut her some slack. After all, two hearts are involved here and it doesn’t mean she’ll never come back to you. Just make sure to keep it cool and see how things go from there.
Red Flags You Should Not Ignore
When it comes to relationships, red flags are the warning signs that tell you something may not be right. If you suspect that your girlfriend has found someone else, these red flags should never be ignored.
Perhaps one of the most obvious red flags is when your girlfriend starts hiding her phone from you. Of course, she’s entitled to her privacy – but not at the expense of making you feel uncomfortable. If she’s suddenly locking her phone and being extra secretive around you, it’s probably because she has something to hide.
It’s also a red flag if you catch her having her own “secret” conversations on social media. If you are seeing a lot of “flirty” or “intimate” messages going to another man or if she is talking to someone online that she never introduces you to, something could be up.
On top of that, if your girlfriend keeps canceling plans with you at the last minute, it’s definitely something to take note of. It could mean she has lost interest in the relationship, or she’s preoccupied with someone else. Either way, it’s a huge red flag that something is not as it should be.
If you’re getting a bad feeling about your relationship, it’s important to pay attention to the red flags. Don’t ignore them. They might just save you from a whole lot of heartache down the line.
She Hides Her Phone From You
Now if you thought that was kind of suspicious, wait until you hear this one: She hides her phone from you! Yes, if your girl is acting shifty, like she’s always got her nose buried in her phone, then she may very well be hiding something from you.
One day you’ll notice that, when you go to grab the phone to look at pictures of the two of you, it’s not there! Suddenly, you realize that your girl NEVER keeps the phone in the same area for more than a few minutes. You’ve seen her keep the phone in her lap, her handbag, her vanity table, and even her pants pocket, in order to keep it away from your prying eyes.
That’s a classic sign that she has something to hide! But trust me, it doesn’t necessarily mean she has someone else. She could just really enjoy her privacy. Though if she does have someone else on the side, it could certainly count as one of the red flags that she’s not being faithful.
What if you grab the phone and she flips out? That’s another strong sign that there’s something going on. Your girl’s probably protecting her conversations and you’re in the dark about what they’re talking about. Be careful with this one, because it could seem like you’re infringing on her personal space if you don’t handle it the right way.
Still, better safe than sorry. It’s better to be aware of the signs that she has someone else, rather than be blindsided with a big surprise of infidelity. Take the initiative to talk to her about your suspicions and give her a chance to explain. It might not be what you expect to hear, but it may be that your girl is just a lower tech type and likes to keep her phone disconnected from the rest of the world.
She Has Her Own “secret” Conversations On Social Media
Do you know how when you’re scrolling through your partner’s social media and you see those conversations that you were never supposed to find? Well, I’m sorry friend, but if you come across something like that, it’s a pretty big sign that your partner may be cheating on you.
It’s one thing if your partner chats with a few people here and there, but if you’re noticing a lot of conversations that you never knew about, it’s worth asking some questions. What kind of conversations are these? Who are they with? Are you even part of the group?
If your partner is a social media butterfly, it’s possible that she is just having fun with new people and chatting with them. But if you’re seeing back and forth messages that have a flirtatious tone and the conversations appear to be more than just friendly, it’s a sign that something else is going on.
Maybe your partner has started keeping secrets on social media and won’t allow you to see certain things. That sends a clear message that she isn’t being open and honest with you and that there is something else going on.
If you see your partner’s calls and messages constantly being redirected or if you happen to see messages where someone is saying,
“Don’t tell her,”
you should be asking some serious questions. The bottom line is that if you see something out of the ordinary when it comes to your partner’s social media activity, it means that there is something going on that you need to take a closer look at.
If your partner has her own secret conversations, she may be talking to someone else and keeping things from you. Even if she is just having fun chatting with friends, she should come clean and be honest about it, because it can be a significant cause for concern. If you think that she has someone else, then it’s time to find out for sure.
She Cancels Plans With You At The Last Minute
Ah, the absolute nightmare of being stood up just before the big date night. You had everything planned, from the restaurant you would eat, to the clothes you would wear. But at the last minute, she cancels the plans and it’s all for nought. Well guess what? She might be doing it for a reason. Maybe, just maybe, she has someone else.
Now, there’s a difference between your girl being a bit busy and actually having another man in her life. If you often have plans with your girl and she suddenly starts canceling them at the last minute, that might mean something else is going on. It could mean that she’s found someone else that interests her more than you.
But before you make any wild assumptions, try talking to her. Maybe she has another commitment or that she underestimated the amount of time the event would take. You never know, the truth might reveal itself when you ask her.
To make sure that your suspicions are well-founded, watch her body language. If your sweetheart looks away and starts fidgeting with her hands when you talk to her, that could be a sign that she’s hiding something. The same goes if she’s evasive with her answers or if she never gives you a clear answer.
If after converse with her you are still suspicious of her behavior, it’s time to move forward with investigating the situation. Check her social media accounts and look for any hint of a new man in her life. If you find one, then chances are she has someone else and is not being truthful to you.
The unwritten rule of relationships is that your significant other should remember to respect your time and dedicate it exclusively to you. If she often cancels plans with you, your is probably not the only one she’s seeing. If this is the case, it might be time to cut losses and move on. No one deserves to be strung along by a liar.
So when it comes to your beloved canceling last minute, make sure you’re paying attention. If it keeps happening, it’s time to stop and think about what is really going on. That way, you can move forward and do what is best for you.
What to Do if You Suspect She Has Someone Else
We’ve all been there. You’re in a relationship and suddenly, you start to see a lot of signs that make you think something might be going on. You start to suspect she might have someone else. It’s a terrifying thought, and it can be hard to know what to do if that’s the case.
First and foremost, if you suspect she has someone else, talk to her about it. This can be a difficult conversation, and it might be tempting to avoid it. But if you really want to get to the bottom of it, you need to be honest and upfront. Ask her about the signs you’ve been seeing, and see where the conversation takes you.
You also need to try and remain understanding if the conversation does not go the way you had hoped. Your relationship might be in trouble, and it might be hard to accept it. You may feel hurt, angry, or betrayed. But try not to take it out on her. Instead, stay as calm as you possibly can, and seek out support from your friends if needed.
Finally, if your conversation does confirm that she has someone else, you need to accept what’s happening. There’s no denying that it’s a difficult situation to be in, but there’s no point in wasting your energy trying to change her mind. The best thing you can do right now is to focus on your own wellbeing and acceptance.
It’s hard enough when you suspect she has someone else, but what comes next is even more important. It’s all up to you, and although it won’t be easy, it’s something you can do if you try.
Talk To Her About It
If your gut is telling you that your girl got someone else’s number in her phone (and maybe even her heart), then it is time to do something about it. There is a two way street when it comes to communication and this is one of those moments when it’s time to put the foot on the pedal and drive straight into it.
First and foremost, don’t panic. Okay, maybe panic a tad but definitely don’t let those thoughts of panic ruin the conversation. These are the times when candid conversations are very important and words need to be chosen carefully. You can get her to open up if you stay calm even if all the evidence points out towards the fact that she is indeed seeing another man.
That being said, definitely not the time to act on any emotion other than calmly talking about it. Believe it or not, sometimes misunderstandings and petty issues can spiral out of control and the ball ends up on the other side of the court. It is only fair that you give the benefit of the doubt and allow her to explain the situation.
Start off the conversation with her by talking about how things have been lately. Let her know that you have noticed a few changes and you want to understand why. Explain how it has been making you feel and if necessary, explain how you don’t want to feel this way. Allow her to open up and tell you the truth even if it means sacrificing the relationship.
This is the time to be a man. We don’t want to admit it, but the truth can hurt even the most experienced of us. Maybe her having someone else isn’t something you guys can overcome and she has already decided that. Talk to her and discuss what both of you can do in this circumstance. Find common ground.
Don’t pressure her into anything and have a long and honest conversation. The truth can be hard to accept but there are plenty of ways it can be delivered. Most girls will be surprised and even stunned at the fact that someone actually noticed the subtle signs. That you actually sat down and trusted your intuition enough to ask her.
If your girl has moved on, things are as they are and there is nothing you can do to change them.
Try To Be Understanding
Hey there, so you think she has someone else, huh? Well, before you say or do anything you should try to be understanding. Now, this might seem like an odd thing to say-I mean it’s not like you should just sit there and let her do whatever she wants-but when it comes to situations like this, it’s the only sensible thing to do.
First off, you have to understand that she could be doing this for a number of reasons. She might be feeling like she needs some space and is looking for affirmation from someone else. Or, she could simply be wanting to gain some different experiences and is exploring other people. Whatever it is, it’s important to try not to get too judgemental.
When it comes to discussions about her other person, don’t go into it with a confrontational attitude. After all, you don’t want to drive her away-you want to understand the situation. Talk to her calmly and from a place of curiosity, not from anger or resentment. She needs to be able to confide in you and let her know that you’re there to listen, not lecture.
Invite her to tell you more about the situation. Ask questions without immediately jumping to conclusions and try to put yourself in her shoes. Take the time to really try to understand what’s going on in her mind instead of immediately jumping to a negative judgement. If you can be patient and not rush to any conclusions, you may be better able to handle the situation.
At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that whatever she is doing is her own business. You don’t have to agree with her or condone her choices, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t be understanding. Love and respect her, no matter what. Be supportive and let her know that you’re there for her. And above all, remember that it’s not the end of the world- things will get better!
Accept What Is Happening
Ahh, the hardest pill to swallow – accepting the uncontrollable. As cliche as it sounds, it’s true: when it has to do with someone else, you can’t control it. At this point, it’s almost obvious that she has someone else, and the hardest part isn’t realizing it, it’s accepting it.
This doesn’t mean that it’s the end of the world, or the end of your relationship, the bottom line is that you have to accept it. The more you try to control it, the more it’s going to control you. And trust me, it’s not worth it.
The first step to accepting it is further investigating. Find out who they are and if they truly matter to her. Once you do that you can start rationalizing the situation in your head. Start preparing yourself to handle the conclusion of the relationship, depending on whether it was a serious relationship to begin with.
The idea of accepting what’s happening may seem absurd and scary, but if you don’t accept it, it’s going to control you and wreak havoc on your life. The reality does not have to be such a dreadful one. It can be a transformation instead of a closure. A way to move from something that wasn’t working into a new chapter of your life.
No matter how hard it is to accept it, know that you still have choices. Acknowledge the pain, accept it and make decisions that are best for you. Do whatever you need to do make the situation bearable and make sure it’s only temporary.
Getting past this obstacle is going to hurt – it’s natural and it’s okay to hurt. Acknowledge and sit with the hurt and make decisions that are productive towards releasing that hurt.
You can grieve, but also learn to live with it and keep it in perspective. Once you truly accept it, you’ll be able to open yourself up to different opportunities and experiences. You’ll be able to take the knowledge of what happened and learn from it and lastly you’ll find the strength to start afresh.
So, go ahead and accept that she has someone else. It won’t be easy, but I assure you, it’ll be worth it.
Hey there, player. Are you tired of being tied down to just one person? Are you ready to take your dating game to the next level? Well, it’s time to learn the art of juggling multiple relationships. It’s not easy, but with the right mindset and strategies, you can have your cake and eat it too.
How To Date Multiple People
In this article, we’ll share some tips on how to keep things organized and drama-free, so that you can enjoy dating multiple people without the stress. From keeping your friends in the loop to knowing when to end things, we’ve got you covered. So, let’s dive in on how to date multiple people and become your own dating guru.
Keep Your Friends In The Loop
When it comes to dating multiple people, your friends can be incredibly helpful – if you let them. Having a group of friends to fall back on and who have your best interest at heart can be immensely beneficial. Telling them about your multiple-person dating is always a good idea; they’re more likely to be understanding if they know what you’re up to.
When it comes to sharing details, do so sparingly. Your friends don’t want to hear about every date you go on with each person, and you don’t want to share all the intimate details of your love life with them even if you’re close.
Another way to keep your friends in the loop is to make sure the group still gets together for events or celebrations. Keeping your social life alive is important no matter what, so even though you’re dating multiple people, you should still make time for your friends.
Take that time to catch up, have a good time, and keep everyone informed about who you’re seeing and how it’s going. Be open and honest about your dating status with your friends; let them know what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and how it’s going.
It’s also nice to include your friends in double-dates, if possible. This can be a great way to let a friend meet someone you’re dating (it’s a big deal if you’re comfortable making introductions) and can be a fun way to spend casual time with everyone together.
Dating multiple people can be tricky, but it’s manageable and can even be a lot of fun. With the right frame of mind, a few boundaries, and help from your trusted friends and family, it’s definitely something you can pull off.
When it’s Time to End It
Alright, so now that you’ve had your fun and feelings are involved, it’s time for the tricky part of the conversation: talking about ending it. It’s not easy to do, but if you can do it gracefully and with tact, it will make it much smoother for you both. Whether you’re single and just don’t have time for a relationship right now, or you met someone else you are interested in pursuing a relationship with, or you just don’t feel the same way as your partner, there are a few things you can do in order to end your multiple relationship without any hard feelings.
One important thing to remember is that it’s not always the other person’s fault. If it’s time to end it, make sure you are honest with yourself, and don’t create blame where there is none. Communicating your feelings about the situation will make it easier for your partner to understand and accept it. It can be hard to let go of something you’ve enjoyed, but everyone will do best if you can agree to remain friends, or at least be respectful of each other moving forward.
It’s also a good idea to set a timeline for the end of your multiple relationship. Explain that you need some time to process what is happening and decide how to move forward. Set a date and make sure to check in with your partner to make sure they feel comfortable and supported. Being respectful and kind will make it much easier on the other person and yourself, and this way you can make sure your partner receives the closure they deserve.
At the end of the day, it’s important to be honest with yourself, and with your partners. And if it’s time to end your multiple relationship, keep in mind that it’s ok to say goodbye and carry on with your life. You and your partners will be better off in the end.
Be Honest With Yourself
Be honest with yourself. That’s the golden rule when dating multiple people. You can’t expect relationships to work out if you’re holding on to one idea that you’re in relationships with two or more people for any other reason than that you’re genuinely interested in each of them. It’s easy to become obsessed with having options, but if you’re not being honest with yourself and the people you’re dating, things won’t work out.
A great way to be honest with yourself is to take inventory of what you’re looking for and who you’re excited by. That doesn’t mean being picky and rejecting someone just because they don’t fit into a certain criteria. Instead, take an honest look at the person and ask yourself if you have any reservations. It’s important to remember that a successful relationship is built on trust, and that’s something that can only be achieved with honest and genuine intentions.
It’s also important to remember that dating multiple people means that you’ll have to juggle multiple calendars and make multiple promises. That can add up to a lot of temptation and pressure, so make sure that you’re honest with yourself about your ability to handle the commitments. Also, ask yourself if you’re comfortable making the same promises to each date. It’s likely that you won’t be able to provide an equal amount of attention to each person, and that’s totally natural. Just make sure that you’re honest with yourself and your partners about how you’re going to be spending your time.
At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you’re honest with yourself. Don’t let expectations of a societal norm guide the way you date. Instead, take stock of what you need out of a relationship, who you’re truly excited by and the commitments you can make to each person. After all, if you’re not being honest with yourself, you can’t expect things to work out.
Reach Out For Support
Having your own support system is great in any relationship or situation but it’s even more important when you’re dating multiple people. You don’t necessarily want to tell your friends and family all the details of what you’re doing, but you should tell them you’re dating and how it’s going so far.
Having that support system with people you trust and can vent to is valuable. It could be just one person or a group of people, either way having people to help process and talk out your different dating experiences allows you to be more vocal and less guarded when talking about all the emotions that come with dating multiple people.
It’s also important to hear out advice, even though you ultimately have to make your own decisions on how to manage multiple relationships. You could even set up coffee dates or lunches with people that have done polyamory successfully to gain more insight, it may provide some insight on how you can go about it in a smart and comfortable way.
It’s also important to mention if you’re feeling overwhelmed, or if any of the situations are getting uncomfortable, it’s ok to speak up and either remove yourself from that encounter or have a conversation about setting some boundaries. It’s also ok if one of your relationships isn’t a perfect match for you and you decide you don’t want to continue, with that it’s also ok to make sure your friends are comfortable with the frequency of you talking about your different partners.
Now don’t go out and think you need to tell all your friends and family you’re dating multiple people at the same time, but don’t forget the importance of having that support system to debrief, cope, and talk out any questions or hesitations you may have when it comes to dating multiple people.
Maybe you’re not quite ready to dive into the deep end and date multiple people but you still want to test the waters, one great piece of advice would be to ask your closest friends about it and see what experience they have with multiple relationships, or if they know anyone that can give you great advice on the subject. Whatever you decide, just make sure to be honest with yourself and reach out to your support system and talk out any feelings you may have.
When it comes to relationships, everyone has different preferences and desires. Some people are looking for long-term commitment, while others are more interested in casual connections. If you find yourself in the latter category, then hookup sites can be a great way to meet like-minded individuals online.
However, with so many options available on the web, it can be overwhelming to sift through all the different sites and apps to find one that works for you. That’s where our list of reputable dating sites comes in – we’ve done the research and identified some of the best hookup sites available.
Our list includes a range of options to cater to different preferences, such as couple-friendly options, hookup sites for gay men, and spots for missed connections. We’ve also highlighted sites that offer discreet hookups, safe options for women, and inclusive hookup sites for women.
Best Online Dating Sites That Actually Work
So, whether you’re looking for a one-night stand or a regular hookup buddy, there’s a site out there that’s perfect for you. Take a look at our list of the best hookup sites and apps and find the perfect one for you!
Adult Friend Finder – Our Favourite **
Adult Friend FinderAdult Friend Finder is a popular hookup site that has been around since 1996, and it remains one of the top options for people looking to explore casual connections. With millions of members worldwide, the site offers a vast pool of potential partners to choose from, and its user-friendly interface and easy-to-use features make it a great option for people of all experience levels.
One of the biggest benefits of Adult Friend Finder is the range of features it offers to help you connect with others. The site allows you to browse through profiles, send messages and flirts, join chat rooms and groups, and even watch live webcams of other members. This makes it easy to find people who are looking for the same type of connection as you, whether that’s a one-night stand or a regular hookup buddy.
Another great feature of Adult Friend Finder is its emphasis on user safety and privacy. The site allows you to control who can view your profile and personal information, and it also offers tips and resources to help you stay safe when meeting new people online.
Ashley Madison
Ashley Madison (Ashley Madison Tips for Successful First Messages) is a dating site that has been specifically designed for people looking to have discreet affairs or casual hookups outside of their relationships. The site has been in operation since 2001 and has since become one of the most popular and trusted sites for people seeking extra-marital connections.
One of the biggest benefits of Ashley Madison is its focus on privacy and discretion. The site allows you to create a profile without using your real name, and it also offers a range of privacy features to help you control who can view your profile and personal information. This makes it a great option for people who are looking to keep their extra-marital connections completely confidential.
Another benefit of Ashley Madison is the range of features it offers to help you connect with others. The site allows you to browse through profiles, send messages and gifts, and even join chat rooms to meet other members. This makes it easy to find like-minded individuals who are looking for the same type of connection as you.
Tinder
Tinder is one of the most popular dating apps available today, and it has become a go-to option for people looking to meet new people and explore romantic connections. One of the biggest benefits of Tinder is its user-friendly interface, which allows you to quickly and easily swipe through profiles and connect with other users who have also expressed interest in you.
Another great feature of Tinder is its focus on user safety and privacy. The app allows you to control who can see your profile and personal information, and it also offers features like photo verification to help ensure that you are connecting with real people.
One of the most unique features of Tinder is its algorithm, which uses your swiping history and profile information to show you potential matches who are most likely to be a good fit for you. This makes it easy to find people who are looking for the same type of connection as you, whether that’s a casual fling or a more serious relationship.
Bumble
Bumble is a popular dating app that has gained a reputation for being a safe and empowering platform for women. Unlike some other dating apps, Bumble requires women to make the first move when connecting with potential matches, giving them greater control over the types of connections they make.
One of the biggest benefits of Bumble is its focus on user safety and privacy. The app allows you to control who can see your profile and personal information, and it also offers features like photo verification to help ensure that you are connecting with real people. Bumble also has a strict policy against hate speech, bullying, and harassment, making it a safe and welcoming space for users of all genders and backgrounds.
Another great feature of Bumble is its algorithm, which uses your swiping history and profile information to show you potential matches who are most likely to be a good fit for you. This makes it easy to find people who are looking for the same type of connection as you, whether that’s a casual fling or a more serious relationship.
Zoosk
Zoosk is a popular dating site that has become known for its unique approach to matchmaking. Unlike other dating sites that rely solely on questionnaires and profile information, Zoosk uses a patented Behavioral Matchmaking algorithm that learns from your actions on the site to show you potential matches who are most likely to be a good fit for you.
One of the biggest benefits of Zoosk is its user-friendly interface. The site is easy to navigate and offers a range of features to help you connect with other users, including messaging, photo verification, and a variety of search options. Zoosk also allows you to connect your social media accounts to your profile, making it easy to find and connect with people you already know.
Zoosk is a great option for anyone looking for a unique approach to online dating. With its Behavioral Matchmaking algorithm, user-friendly interface, and emphasis on user safety and privacy, it’s no wonder why it remains one of the most popular dating sites available today.
Grindr
Grindr is a dating app that has become popular among gay, bi, and trans men looking to connect with others in their community. One of the biggest benefits of Grindr is its focus on inclusivity and creating a safe space for users to explore their sexuality and connect with others who share their interests.
One of the key features of Grindr is its location-based matching, which allows you to see and connect with other users in your area. This makes it easy to find other gay men nearby and explore romantic connections with people who share your interests and values.
Feeld
Feeld is a dating app that has become popular among couples and individuals looking to explore non-traditional relationships and connect with others who share their interests. One of the biggest benefits of Feeld is its focus on inclusivity and creating a safe space for users to explore their sexuality and connect with others who share their interests.
One of the key features of Feeld is its emphasis on non-traditional relationships, which allows you to connect with other individuals and couples looking for threesomes, open relationships, and more. This makes it easy to find like-minded individuals who share your interests and values.
Feeld is a great option for anyone looking to explore non-traditional relationships and connect with others who share their interests.
Silver Singles
SilverSingles is a dating site that has become popular among seniors looking to connect with others in their age group and explore romantic connections. One of the biggest benefits of SilverSingles is its focus on creating a safe space for older adults to connect and explore romantic connections with others who share their interests and values.
One of the key features of SilverSingles is its emphasis on creating a community of like-minded individuals, which allows you to connect with other seniors looking for meaningful connections and long-term relationships. This makes it easy to find other seniors nearby and explore romantic connections with people who share your interests and values.
The site also offers a range of features to help you find and connect with potential matches, including detailed profiles, photo verification, messaging, and a variety of search options.
SilverSingles is a great option for anyone looking to explore romantic connections with other seniors.
HER
HER is a dating app that has become popular among women looking to connect with others in the LGBTQ+ community and explore romantic connections. One of the biggest benefits of HER is its focus on inclusivity and creating a safe space for women to connect and explore romantic connections with others who share their interests and values.
One of the key features of HER is its emphasis on creating a community of like-minded individuals, which allows you to connect with other women looking for meaningful connections and long-term relationships. This makes it easy to find other women nearby and explore romantic connections with people who share your interests and values.
Another great feature of HER is its user-friendly interface, which makes it easy to navigate and connect with other users. The app also offers a range of features to help you find and connect with potential matches, including detailed profiles, photo verification, messaging, and a variety of search options.
HER is a great option for anyone looking to explore romantic connections with other women in the LGBTQ+ community.
Match.com
Match.com is one of the oldest and most well-established dating sites in the world, and it’s still one of the most popular options for people looking to connect with others and explore romantic connections. One of the biggest benefits of Match.com is its huge user base, which means that you have a much greater chance of finding someone who shares your interests and values.
Another great feature of Match.com is its focus on creating a community of like-minded individuals, which allows you to connect with people who are looking for meaningful connections and long-term relationships. This makes it easy to find other singles nearby and explore romantic connections with people who share your interests and values.
Match.com also offers a range of features to help you find and connect with potential matches, including detailed profiles, photo verification, messaging, and a variety of search options. The site also has a comprehensive matching algorithm that takes into account your preferences and interests to help you find the most compatible matches.
Match.com is a great option for anyone looking to explore romantic connections with other singles.
eHarmony
eHarmony is a popular dating site that is known for its unique compatibility matching system, which has helped millions of people find meaningful relationships. One of the biggest benefits of eHarmony is its focus on creating long-term, meaningful connections between compatible partners.
The site has a detailed personality assessment that is designed to help you find matches based on your interests, values, and personality traits. This makes it easy to find other singles who share your interests and values, and who are looking for a long-term, committed relationship.
eHarmony is a great option for anyone looking to explore romantic connections with other singles.
Christian Mingle
Christian Mingle is a popular dating site for Christians who are looking to connect with other like-minded individuals and explore romantic connections. One of the biggest benefits of Christian Mingle is its focus on creating a community of Christians who share common values and beliefs.
The site has a comprehensive matching algorithm that takes into account your preferences and interests to help you find the most compatible matches. This makes it easy to find other singles who share your values and beliefs, and who are looking for a long-term, committed relationship.
Christian Mingle is a great option for Christians who are looking to explore romantic connections with other like-minded individuals. With a focus on creating a community of Christians who share common values and beliefs.
PURE
Pure is a popular dating site that focuses on casual hookups and short-term relationships. It has gained popularity due to its unique approach of helping users find quick and easy connections with others looking for the same thing.
One of the best things about Pure is its straightforward approach to online dating. It’s designed to be fast, easy, and convenient, with a simple and intuitive interface that makes it easy to connect with others looking for the same type of connection as you. The site is also focused on privacy, ensuring that all interactions are kept completely confidential and anonymous.
Happn
Happn is a unique dating site that is designed to help you connect with people you have crossed paths with in real life. It uses geolocation technology to match you with other users who have been in your vicinity at the same time, making it easier to meet someone with whom you share a mutual connection.
One of the biggest benefits of Happn is its focus on real-life connections. By using the app, you can discover people who you have crossed paths with in your daily life, but may not have had the chance to meet or connect with. This creates an organic and authentic connection that can lead to a more meaningful relationship.
Happn is a great option for anyone who is looking to meet someone in real life and connect with people they may have missed out on.
Are Hookup Sites and Apps Safe?
Not all adult-dating sites and apps are safe. That’s why we had to dig deeper into the web for the safest and most reliable casual-dating sites, for you. That said, our top picks come with solid security features to protect your financial and personal info against any third parties lurking across the web.
Which Is Better: Free Hookup Sites or Paid Hookup Sites?
Paid casual-dating sites are way better than free options. These come with a bunch of key features, such as video chat, geolocation, and enhanced security, functions you’re unlikely to enjoy with free options. That’s not to say you can’t find casual connections using free versions, but the experience is more seamless with paid versions.
Is It Easy to Find a Partner at the Best Hookup Sites?
A resounding yes it is, especially if you know the ropes around the game. This includes spicing up your opening lines, uploading attractive photos, etc. Still, your best bet might be the best dating sites with an above-average success rate, like AdultFriendFinder.
Is Everyone on Hookup Apps Looking for a Short-Term Fling?
Not really. You could run into folks that are seeking a long-term relationship, even on dating apps that are exclusive to hookups. That said, you might want to lay bare your intentions beforehand so your matches know exactly what you’re after.
Should I Be Upfront About My Preferences in a Partner?
It’s no big deal for hookups, considering casual connections are what they really are: short-term things. Meanwhile, when it comes to serious relationships, you should be upfront about your preferences in a partner. You don’t want to end up with a life partner that has habits (or “looks”) you dislike.
What Hookup Sites Actually Work?
All of our hookup online sites work. Still, a place like AdultFriendFinder (or even Ashley Madison) might be a good place to start, especially because it ticks most of the right boxes as far as a reputable hookup site goes.
What Is the Best Hookup Website for Seniors?
SilverSingles, without a doubt. The vast majority of members are aged 50+, and the site has an easy-to-use interface, so users find their way around hassle-free. Among other things, matches are local and compatible, and the gender ratio is reliable.
Why Should You Trust Our Hookup Site Reviews?
We’re different – our determination to bring you the best of the best online hookup sites speaks for itself. Yeah, we considered most of the things you like as far as hooking up online goes.
To begin with, we went for options with a decent gender split, save for the LGBTQ+ dating sites, just so there’s someone for everyone. Most of our top picks have a high member activity, too. In other words, conversations are flowing hassle-free. When it comes to the user base, we narrowed our options to dating and hookup sites with an above-average hunting ground. Of course, this only helps boost the chances of landing yourself a match.
And, because we wanted you to gauge if a dating site is a good fit for you before dishing out $$$, we included casual dating platforms with a free version. There’s even one with a free trial.
So, feel free to test the waters accordingly before taking the plunge! For those who fancy face-to-face communication, we have a couple of hookup websites with video chats. It’s time you cut off the fakes from your list of matches, right?
Because we’ve been in this game long enough to understand that not everyone might have the time to sit glued to their PC most of the time, we included entries with a dating app, too.
Best Sites for Hookups – The Takeaway
With all these cool options, you should stop searching for the best hookup dating sites online and get registered on some of our top picks! Your best bet might be AdultFriendFinder. This hookup site is not only exclusive to hookups but also boasts an unmatched success rate, among other cool features and perks.
You may want to explore Ashley Madison, too, especially if you’re wanting to connect discreetly. If you’re looking for a way to meet people for casual dating, hookup apps might be a great option for you! These are similar to hookup sites, but you can access them on your tablet or smartphone. Plus, many of these apps have fully functional web versions for desktop users.
Now, when it comes to safety, not all dating apps and sites are created equal. That’s why we’ve gone the extra mile to find the safest and most reliable options out there, so you can enjoy your casual connections with peace of mind. While there are free hookup sites available, we recommend paid options for the best experience. These often come with features like video chat, geolocation, and enhanced security that you won’t find with free options.
But don’t worry, finding a partner at the best hookup sites is definitely possible! Just remember to spice up your opening lines, upload attractive photos, and be upfront about your intentions. And if you’re a senior online dater, SilverSingles is a great option for you. With a majority of members aged 50+, an easy-to-use interface, and compatible matches, it’s definitely worth checking out.
We hope you found our reviews helpful in your search for the best hookup sites. Our goal is to provide you with the most reliable and trustworthy information out there. So, go ahead and give some of our top picks a try – good luck!
When you’re in a relationship, it’s natural to want to take things to the next level and show your partner that you’re serious about them. This can be especially true if you’ve been together for a while and are looking to build a future together. But how do you communicate your intentions and show your girlfriend that you’re serious about her? It’s an important step in any relationship, and it’s important to find a balance that works for both of you. In this blog, we’ll explore six key ways to show a girl that you’re serious about her, including effective communication, consistency, respect, support, romance, and commitment.
Consistency is also important in any relationship. Show your girlfriend that you’re serious about her by being reliable and dependable. Follow through on your commitments and promises, and be there for her when she needs you. It’s also important to maintain a consistent level of effort in the relationship. This means making an ongoing effort to prioritize your relationship and put in the time and effort needed to keep it strong.
3. Respect
Respect is a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship. Show your girlfriend that you’re serious about her by treating her with respect and kindness. This means listening to her opinions, valuing her feelings, and treating her with consideration. Show appreciation for her and the things she does for you, and be understanding and supportive when she is going through a difficult time.
4. Support
Support is an important way to show a girl that you’re serious about her. Offer emotional and practical support when she needs it, whether she is facing a challenge or simply needs a shoulder to lean on. Encourage her to pursue her goals and dreams, and be there for her through the ups and downs of life. This can involve everything from helping her with a difficult problem to simply offering a listening ear when she needs to talk.
5. Romance
Romance is an important part of any relationship, and it’s a great way to show a girl that you’re serious about her. Show your love and affection through romantic gestures and acts of kindness, such as surprise gifts or thoughtful surprises. Make an effort to keep the romance and intimacy alive in the relationship by planning date nights, expressing your love through physical affection, and keeping the spark alive.
6. Commitment
Commitment is the final piece of the puzzle in showing a girl that you’re serious about her. Make it clear that you are committed to the relationship and to building a future together. Discuss your long-term goals and plans as a couple, and take steps to demonstrate your commitment, such as moving in together or getting engaged. This will help show her that you are in it for the long haul and that you are serious about building a future together.
Conclusion
Showing a girl that you’re serious about her is an important step in any relationship. It’s about finding a balance that works for both of you and communicating your intentions clearly. By focusing on effective communication, consistency, respect, support, romance, and commitment, you can build a strong foundation for your future together and show your girlfriend that you’re serious about her. Remember, every relationship is different, so it’s important to find what works for you and your partner. So, these are some of the ways that can help you show your girl that you are serious about her.
Are you tired of swiping through endless profiles on dating apps without any luck? Hinge might be the solution you’re looking for. Unlike other dating apps that rely on endless swiping and superficial matching algorithms, Hinge uses a unique approach to connect users. By promoting deeper connections and facilitating meaningful conversations, Hinge has helped thousands of people find meaningful relationships.
How To Find Someone On Hinge
In this blog, we’ll show you how to find someone on Hinge and make the most of the app’s features.
Step 1: Install the Hinge app
The first step in finding someone on Hinge is to download the app. Hinge is available for both iOS and Android devices and can be downloaded from the App Store or Google Play Store. Once you’ve installed the app on your device, open it and tap the “Get Started” button to begin the account setup process.
Step 2: Create an account
To create a Hinge account, you’ll need to provide some basic information, such as your email address, phone number, or Facebook account. You can use any of these methods to sign up for Hinge. After providing your information, you’ll be asked to create a password and agree to the app’s terms and conditions. Once you’ve completed these steps, your account will be created, and you’ll be ready to set up your profile.
Step 3: Set up your profile
Your Hinge profile is what other users will see when they come across your profile. It’s important to make a good first impression, so be sure to put some thought into your profile. Add a profile picture that clearly shows your face and represents you well. Write a short bio that gives other users an idea of who you are and what you’re looking for. Be authentic and genuine, as this will help you attract the right kind of people. Finally, select your preferences for age range and distance. This will help Hinge match you with people who meet your criteria.
Step 4: Swipe through profiles
Once your profile is set up, you’re ready to start browsing through profiles. Hinge uses a swipe-based system similar to other dating apps, so you can swipe left or right on profiles to show your interest. If you see someone you like, tap the “like” button on their profile. If they “like” you back, you’ll be able to message each other within the app.
Step 5: Use the “Discover” feature
In addition to swiping through profiles, Hinge also has a “Discover” feature that allows you to find people based on specific interests or activities. To access it, tap the icon with three lines in the bottom-right corner of the screen, then tap “Discover.” From there, you can browse through profiles of people who have similar interests or hobbies as you. This can be a great way to find people you have something in common with and potentially spark a meaningful conversation.
Step 6: Message each other
Once you’ve found someone you’d like to connect with, you can message each other within the app. Simply tap the “Chat” icon on their profile, and you’ll be able to start a conversation. Hinge encourages users to be authentic and genuine in their conversations, so don’t be afraid to be yourself and ask questions to get to know the other person.
Conclusion:
Finding someone on Hinge can be a fun and rewarding experience. By using the app’s unique features and focusing on meaningful connections, you can increase your chances of finding someone special. So give Hinge a try and see what kind of connections you can make.
Accourding to our Victoria Milan Reviews, it has a strong emphasis on maintaining user privacy and discretion.
The service quality of Victoria Milan has received mixed reviews, contributing to its low rating and numerous complaints, particularly in the United States.
There are negative reviews and scam allegations surrounding Victoria Milan, with some users considering it a scam-packed site. Trustpilot reviews also highlight these concerns.
Functionality and usability consist of addressing user frustrations, implementing safety measures against fake profiles, and providing a user-friendly interface.
Pricing and payment options include free and premium memberships, with transparency in payment systems being essential for user satisfaction.
A comparison with Ashley Madison provides an overview of Victoria Milan’s features and user experiences.
Positive aspects of Victoria Milan include its focus on privacy and discretion, but drawbacks and negative experiences are also reported.
User reviews and real-life experiences offer insights into the efficacy and satisfaction levels of Victoria Milan as a dating platform.
In conclusion, Victoria Milan caters to individuals seeking extramarital affairs with a focus on privacy, but it is important for users to be cautious due to negative reviews and scam allegations.
Victoria Milan, a highly regarded platform, caters to those seeking discreet connections outside of their relationships. With a strong emphasis on privacy and discretion, this site has gained popularity among individuals desiring companionship without compromising their personal lives. In this introduction, we will delve into an overview of Victoria Milan’s purpose and target audience, shedding light on the unique features and benefits it offers for those seeking to explore their desires while maintaining confidentiality.
Overview of Victoria Milan’s Purpose and Target Audience
Victoria Milan is a platform that caters to individuals searching for extramarital affairs. It is discreet and puts privacy first for married or committed people who want secret relationships outside of their current partnerships. The platform aims to give a secure and confidential environment for people to explore their desires and connect with like-minded people. With an emphasis on privacy and discretion, Victoria Milan ensures its users can have secret encounters without the fear of being discovered.
However, the site has gotten negative reviews and scam allegations. People have accused it of draining their bank accounts and renewing subscriptions without permission. Reports of fake profiles have also come up, suggesting that users are not seen unless they pay for premium membership. Trustpilot reviews reflect similar experiences, with users expressing disappointment and frustration with the site’s manipulative practices and lack of cancellation options. These reviews raise doubts about the authenticity of profiles on Victoria Milan and highlight potential risks of using the platform.
A review done on Victoria Milan’s service quality showed various flaws. The investigation focused on privacy features, profile authenticity, and the messaging system. It found limited free features, misleading information in profiles, and a lack of genuine interactions between users. Alternative dating platforms were recommended as possibly better options for those looking for discreet relationships.
Victoria Milan US has received low ratings and customer complaints about fake profiles and unauthorized transactions leading to drained bank accounts. Users suggest avoiding this site and trying more reliable platforms with better security measures instead.
Comparisons have been made between Victoria Milan and AshleyMadison, another well-known platform for extramarital affairs. People have noted that while AshleyMadison may have more users, it also has a history of data breaches. Despite this, Victoria Milan is seen as a secure and discreet option for individuals seeking extramarital affairs.
Notable features offered by Victoria Milan include face-blurring technology and a panic button that allow users to stay anonymous and secure. The site has a user-friendly interface, making it simple for users to navigate and interact with others who share their desires. Also, statistics show that Victoria Milan is very popular in certain countries.
Although there are good aspects of Victoria Milan, like its privacy features, fun features, and discreetness, there are also drawbacks. These include the high cost of membership and the difficulty in meeting featured users. In general, users have mixed ratings for Victoria Milan.
Real-life stories shared by users show successful encounters and satisfaction with the site’s honest approach to facilitating discreet relationships. Key features like AnonymousBlur, Panic Button, and virtual gifts have been praised for improving the user experience.
Focus on Privacy and Discretion
Victoria Milan values privacy and discretion. Its design and features are tailored to provide security for those seeking extramarital affairs. Face blurring and panic buttons are employed for additional layers of protection.
Discretion is a top priority. The site caters to primarily married individuals looking for discreet connections. A user-friendly interface ensures discreet interactions.
Although Victoria Milan places great emphasis on privacy, there have been negative reviews. Reports of unauthorized charges, fake profiles and limitations with premium subscriptions raise concerns regarding trustworthiness and reliability.
In conclusion, Victoria Milan emphasizes privacy and discretion. However, users should be aware of potential issues concerning charges and profiles.
Negative Reviews and Scam Allegations
Victoria Milan, a popular online dating platform, has faced its fair share of negative reviews and scam allegations. In this section, we’ll uncover some concerning reports about VictoriaMilan being labeled as a scam-packed site. We’ll also dive into the Trustpilot reviews, shedding light on the experiences of users who have encountered issues with the platform. Stay tuned to learn more about the darker side of Victoria Milan.
VictoriaMilan as a Scam-Packed Site
VictoriaMilan is rumoured to be scam-packed. Unauthorized withdrawals, renewing subscriptions without permission and fake profiles have all been reported. You can’t view other profiles unless you purchase a premium membership. This raises doubts about the trustworthiness of VictoriaMilan.
Trustpilot reviews back this up. Fake profiles, no cancellation option and manipulative practices are what users experience. These reviews are like red flags if you’re considering joining.
Apart from these issues, more details could be causing VictoriaMilan’s reputation as a scam-packed site. It’s important to be aware of them before starting online dating.
To avoid scams and get a better experience, research alternative dating platforms. Look for ones with positive feedback and high ratings. This way, you can avoid potential scams and have a positive online dating experience.
Trustpilot Reviews
Negative reviews of VictoriaMilan show potential problems for anyone who wants a discreet relationship. It’s important to consider other options before signing up.
Trustpilot Reviews help potential users understand what real VictoriaMilan users experience. That helps people make an informed decision.
VictoriaMilan is lacking in many ways. There are few free features, and many profiles and interactions are not genuine. Trustpilot reviews draw attention to these issues.
Anyone who wants an extramarital affair should take time to think and decide if VictoriaMilan is the right platform for them.
Review of VictoriaMilan’s Service Quality
VictoriaMilan is a platform that offers a unique service for those seeking discreet encounters. This review focuses on the quality of its service.
Privacy and discretion are guaranteed, and personal info remains secure. Its user-friendly interface makes it easy to navigate and connect with like-minded people. Photo blurring and anonymity tools are also available to enhance privacy.
The platform boasts a large user base that is diverse and active. Communication tools, such as private messaging and chat rooms, enable users to interact and establish connections safely. Further features and services, such as advanced search filters and a mobile app, are provided to improve user experience.
VictoriaMilan also offers a responsive customer support team to help with any inquiries or issues. The platform strives to meet users’ needs for discreet encounters. To further enhance its service, it could consider a verification system to ensure profile authenticity and provide more communication features, such as video chat, to help build stronger connections before meeting in person.
Low Rating and Complaints on VictoriaMilan US
Victoria Milan US has received many bad ratings and complaints from its users. People have complained about issues such as a lack of real members, technical glitches and poor customer service. These negative reviews show that Victoria Milan US may not meet users’ needs and expectations.
The main problems center around the user base and how the platform works. Many users have reported fake profiles and scammers, which damages the website’s reputation. Plus, tech issues like crashes and slow loading ruin the user experience. Customers have also said the customer service is inadequate and slow. Victoria Milan needs to take action.
Although some users have found success on the platform, the bad reviews are more common. Victoria Milan must address user concerns and improve their service. By increasing authenticity of profiles, fixing technical issues and providing great customer support, they can regain user trust and satisfaction.
Overview of VictoriaMilan and Comparison to AshleyMadison
VictoriaMilan and AshleyMadison are two well-known dating platforms. They are for individuals looking for affairs outside of marriage. Although they are very similar, they offer distinct experiences.
VictoriaMilan focuses on privacy and safety. It has encrypted communication, a panic button, and protects user data. It has become popular because of its secure atmosphere.
AshleyMadison‘s focus is on connecting people in open relationships or those seeking discrete affairs. It offers discreet browsing, customized privacy settings, and the option to blur or mask profile pictures. It helps match people who share the same interests.
Both platforms provide features that cater to their users. VictoriaMilan is for those who want anonymity and safety. AshleyMadison is for those in open relationships or looking for discrete encounters.
VictoriaMilan’s Features and Users’ Experiences
Victoria Milan offers a discreet online dating platform with unique features. Text messaging, audio calling, and video chatting are all available. Plus, a Panic Button feature allows quick exits in case of emergency. There’s even a mobile app for convenient access on smartphones. Privacy is a priority, with a focus on anonymity for those seeking extramarital affairs or confidential relationships. Enjoy a secure environment and indulge in positive experiences.
Take the plunge and explore this discreet online dating platform! With unique features, privacy, and security, users will have an exciting and fulfilling experience. Join now and be part of the journey!
Positive Aspects and Drawbacks of VictoriaMilan
VictoriaMilan is famous for letting individuals discreetly connect with others seeking extra-marital affairs. It has pros and cons that users should know.
An advantage is the user-friendly interface which grants users effortless navigation and finding potential matches. Also, the platform supplies a high security level and privacy, making sure users’ personal info is kept secret. Moreover, VictoriaMilan offers a wide user base, giving people various alternatives.
Though, there are some drawbacks. Some users may think the membership fees are costly as opposed to other dating websites. Even though the platform has precautions for privacy, there is a chance of being found by a spouse/partner due to email notifications or browsing history.
It’s worth mentioning that VictoriaMilan has special features that make it stand out from other dating sites. For example, it has a panic button feature that allows users to switch to a neutral website in case of feeling unsafe or covering their activity. This offers an extra protection layer.
When using VictoriaMilan, it’s a good idea to have a solid and unique password for enhancing security. Moreover, it’s wise to read and understand its privacy policy to guarantee personal info is managed properly. By following these tips, users can take advantage of their experience on VictoriaMilan and put their safety and privacy first.
User Reviews and Real-Life Experiences
Victoria Milan, a dating platform, has become popular for linking people seeking extramarital relationships. Users have shared their experiences and comments on the platform, giving insight into what it provides.
Privacy & Discretion: Victoria Milan users admire the platform’s commitment to confidentiality and discretion. The website’s secure features and private messaging options give assurance to people looking for discreet encounters.
Success Stories: Several people have said they found matching and like-minded partners on Victoria Milan. These successes demonstrate the platform’s effectiveness in making meaningful connections and pleasing experiences.
User-Friendly Interface: Users find the Victoria Milan website and app easy to understand and use. The straightforward interface lets you browse, message, and customize your profile without any difficulty.
Diverse User Base: Victoria Milan attracts people from diverse backgrounds and with different interests. This diversity gives more variety and potential matches for users.
Victoria Milan also offers features like photo blur and Panic Button, increasing the user experience and guaranteeing discreet communication. These additional features make the platform attractive and set it apart from other dating websites.
Conclusion
Victoria Milan Reviews offer an extensive compilation of users’ opinions and experiences with the website. The reference data offers diverse perspectives, allowing individuals to make informed decisions about the platform. The testimonials shed light on the site’s privacy and security, as well as its success in connecting like-minded individuals. The reviews also indicate a user-friendly interface and various communication tools.
The Reviews showcase the effectiveness and popularity of the platform, with positive feedback from users. They present real-life examples of individuals who have found discreet relationships through Victoria Milan. The positive experiences shared in the reviews contribute to the platform’s credibility.
The Reviews also acknowledge a few areas of improvement. Some users mention the existence of fake profiles or scammers, emphasizing the need for caution. However, these instances are rare compared to the overall positive experiences. Thus, it can be concluded Victoria Milan provides a reliable platform for discreet relationships.
Overall, the Victoria Milan Reviews provide an essential resource for individuals considering using the platform. The reference data enables informed decisions, based on the experiences and testimonials shared by other users. This information enhances understanding of the platform and its suitability for discreet relationships.
Some Facts About “Victoria Milan Reviews”:
✅ Victoria Milan is accused of being a scam-packed site designed to drain people’s bank accounts.(Source: Team Research)
✅ All profiles on Victoria Milan are said to be fake, and the site allegedly renews subscriptions without consent and sets users up for recurring purchases.(Source: Team Research)
✅ Users have reported being billed more than the advertised price, with one user being billed four times the advertised amount.(Source: Team Research)
✅ The website has a low rating of 1.22 stars from 9 reviews, with many customers reporting negative experiences and calling it a scam.(Source: Trustpilot)
✅ Most profiles on Victoria Milan are likely to be bots, and it is nearly impossible to communicate with a real person.(Source: Trustpilot)
FAQs about Victoria Milan Reviews
Are there real people on Victoria Milan?
According to multiple reviews, Victoria Milan has been accused of having fake profiles and bots. Many users reported not being able to communicate with real people on the site.
How secure is the AnonymousBlur tool on Victoria Milan?
The AnonymousBlur tool on Victoria Milan is designed to protect user privacy by allowing them to blur their faces in photos. This can help users maintain anonymity and discretion while using the site.
How long do I have to request a cancellation on Victoria Milan?
According to one user’s experience, cancellation must be requested 14 days before the automatic renewal on Victoria Milan. However, some users have reported difficulties in canceling their subscriptions.
Is Victoria Milan a reliable indicator for finding a future partner?
Based on various reviews, Victoria Milan is not considered a reliable platform for finding a future partner. The site focuses on facilitating extramarital affairs and encounters, rather than long-term relationships.
Can meetings be guaranteed on Victoria Milan?
While Victoria Milan claims to have over 7 million members, many reviews suggest that the site does not guarantee meetings with real people. Users have reported a lack of response to messages and limited interactions.
Is Victoria Milan a secure and discreet way to have an online affair?
Victoria Milan advertises itself as a secure and discreet platform for individuals seeking extramarital affairs. The site offers privacy features such as the AnonymousBlur tool and a panic button. However, users have reported concerns about their personal information and difficulties in canceling subscriptions.
There are a number of reasons why dating a married man is still popular. For one, it can be exciting to have an illicit affair. The secrecy and danger involved can be a huge turn-on for some people. Additionally, many women feel flattered and special when a married man pays attention to them. They may rationalize his actions by telling themselves that he must be unhappy in his marriage and that he is only seeking companionship outside of it.
However, the reality is that dating a married man is fraught with dangers and risks. Not only are you putting your own heart at risk, but you could also be risking the hearts of his wife and children. If his affair is discovered, it could wreck their lives as well. Additionally, you may find yourself in the middle of a messy divorce if things don’t work out.
So why take the risk? If you’re considering dating a married man, ask yourself why. Is it worth the risk to your own heart and soul? Is it worth risking the lives of his family? If you can’t answer these questions with a resounding “yes,” then you should rethink your decision. After all, there are plenty of single men out there who would be happy to date you. Why settle for someone who is already taken?
Understand The Risks Of Dating A Married Man
When you decide to date a married man, you are taking on a lot of risk. While there may be some excitement in sneaking around and hiding your relationship, it can also be very stressful. If the man is unhappy in his marriage, he may be looking for a way out, and that could mean using you as his escape route. If his wife finds out about the affair, she may confront you and try to hurt you. The man may also lie to you about being divorced or separated when he is actually still married. This can lead to a lot of heartache and pain down the road.
You also need to be prepared for the fact that the man may not leave his wife for you. Even if he says that he loves you and wants to be with you, he may not actually follow through on those promises. If you are not prepared to deal with the possibility that he may not leave his wife, then you should not get involved with a married man.
There are many risks involved in dating a married man, so it is important to weigh those risks against the potential rewards. If you are not prepared to handle the risks, then you should not get involved in this type of relationship.
Consider Your Reasons For Wanting To Date A Married Man
When you date a married man, you are putting yourself in a risky situation. There are many potential dangers that can come from such a relationship, including emotional heartbreak, possible legal consequences, and even physical danger.
Before you decide to pursue a relationship with a married man, it is important to consider why you want to do so. Are you looking for something exciting and new? Are you trying to fill a void in your own life? Or are you simply attracted to the man himself?
Understand That You Will Be Putting Yourself At Risk Emotionally.
Dating a married man can be a very emotionally draining experience. You may find yourself constantly wondering if he is really with you, or if he is with his wife. You may also find yourself feeling jealous of the time he spends with her, and the relationship they have.
There is also a very real possibility that the man will eventually leave you for his wife. This can be an extremely painful experience, and one that can take a long time to recover from.
Consider The Legal Risks Involved With Seeing A Married Man.
In some states, it is actually considered a crime to date a married man. If you are caught, you could face serious legal repercussions, including jail time.
Even if you are not breaking any laws, your relationship with a married man could still have legal consequences. For example, if he decides to file for divorce, you could be named as a co-respondent. This could mean that you would have to testify against him in court, and it could damage your reputation.
Think About The Physical Risks Involved With Being With A Married Man.
If the man you are dating is abusive, there is a very real possibility that you could be in physical danger. If he is physically abusive to his wife, there is a good chance that he will be physically abusive to you as well.
Even if the man you are dating is not abusive, there is still a risk of becoming involved in a physical altercation with his wife. If she finds out about the affair, she may confront you, and the situation could quickly become violent.
In conclusion, there are many risks involved in dating a married man. These risks can be emotional, legal, and even physical. Before you decide to pursue such a relationship, it is important to weigh the pros and cons carefully.
Be Discreet – Don’t Tell Anyone About Your Relationship With A Married Man
If you are having an affair with a married man, it is important to be discreet. Don’t tell anyone about your relationship, as it could lead to complications and heartache. Ultimately, it is up to you whether or not to tell anyone, but just be aware of the potential consequences.
Don’t get too attached to a married man
There are a few things to keep in mind if you’re thinking about getting involved with a married man. First, remember that his first priority is always going to be his wife and family. So don’t expect him to be fully invested in your relationship. Secondly, there’s a good chance that his marriage is on the rocks and he’s looking for a way out. But even if his marriage is solid, he’s still cheating on his wife. And that’s not something you want to be a part of. Finally, remember that you’re not the only one he’s seeing. He’s probably got a few other women on the side. So don’t get too attached to him. You’re better off finding a single guy who’s available and interested in you.
Know When To End The Relationship With A Married Man
There are times when it is best to end a relationship with a married man. If you are not happy, if you are being lied to, or if you suspect that he is still seeing his wife, then it is time to move on. Ending a relationship with a married man can be difficult, but it is often the best thing for everyone involved.
If you are thinking about ending your relationship with a married man, here are some things to consider:
If you are not happy in the relationship, then it is time to end it. Unhappiness is not worth staying in a relationship for.
If you suspect that your man is lying to you about his relationship with his wife, it is time to end things. Lying is not a foundation for a healthy relationship.
If you have any reason to believe that your man is still seeing his wife, it is time to end the relationship. A man who is still seeing his wife is not available to you emotionally or physically.
If your man is not willing to leave his wife for you, then it is time to end the relationship. A man who is not willing to divorce his wife is not ready to commit to you.
If you have children with your man, ending the relationship will likely mean that you will become a single parent. If you are not prepared to take on this responsibility, it is best to end the relationship now.
Ending a relationship with a married man can have serious consequences. If you are not prepared to deal with the potential fallout, it is best to end things now.
If you are not sure that you can handle the guilt of breaking up a family, it is best to end the relationship now. Guilt can be a heavy burden to carry.
If you are not prepared for a long-term relationship with a man who is already married, it is best to end things now. A relationship with a married man is not likely to last.
If you do not want to be responsible for breaking up a family, it is best to end the relationship now. Being a homewrecker is not something most people aspire to.
At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself if he is really worth all of the hassle. If the answer is no, then it is time to end the relationship.
Move On With Your Life After Being With A With A Married Man
Being with a married man is never a good idea. It can be so hard to move on after being with someone who is already taken, but you have to try. You deserve to be happy and in a healthy relationship with someone who loves and respects you. There are plenty of other people out there who would make great partners, so don’t waste your time on someone who is already taken. Here are a few tips to help you move on after being with a married man:
Don’t dwell on what could have been or what might have been. It’s important to focus on the present and the future, not the past. Letting go of the past will help you move on and start fresh.
It’s best to cut ties with a married man completely. That means no texts, no calls, and no communication of any kind. Keeping in touch will only make it harder for you to move on.
Talk to your friends and family about what you’re going through. They can offer words of wisdom and support. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who has gone through a similar experience.
If you’re struggling to move on, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can help you work through your emotions and start to heal.
Now is the time to focus on you. Do things that make you happy and make you feel good about yourself. Work on improving your self-esteem and becoming the best version of yourself.
Moving on after being with a married man can be difficult, but it’s not impossible. With time and effort, you will be able to move on and find happiness elsewhere.
Dating A Married Man
Dating a married man can be very challenging and heartbreaking. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are other women out there who have been in your shoes and have found a way to move on with their lives. You can too. Start by reaching out for support from friends or family members. If you need more support, consider seeking out counseling or therapy. These professionals can help you work through your emotions and develop a plan for moving on.
It is also important to take care of yourself during this time. Make sure to eat healthy foods, exercise, and get plenty of rest. Taking care of yourself will help you feel stronger and more capable of dealing with the challenges you are facing.
Finally, remember that it is okay to be sad or angry about your situation. These emotions are normal and expected. Allow yourself to feel them, but don’t let them take over your life. With time, you will be able to move on from this difficult experience and build a happy and healthy life for yourself.
When it comes to meeting women online, a great opening line makes all the difference. On a site like Ashley Madison and other cheating apps / sites, kickstarting the conversation with the right material is even more important.
To increase your chances of warranting a reply, you’ll need to work on your opening gambit. You’ll give your dating prospects an instant boost while saving yourself a small fortune in the long run.
Start By Crafting a First-Rate Profile
Kicking the conversation off with a killer opening line is only going to get you so far. If you want to increase the odds of keeping a woman on the hook, you’ll need a captivating profile. Putting together a winning profile on Ashley Madison isn’t difficult. In fact, you can use the same approach you’ve used elsewhere.
However, there are some specific things you’ll need to consider when creating an Ashley Madison bio. For starters, remember where you are. Ashley Madison is a platform designed for married men looking to pursue affairs. Don’t play innocent in your bio. There’s no need to. Women using this platform know the kind of guys they’ll be talking to. You’re not going to earn yourself any points by being coy about your intentions.
That being said, don’t go overboard when filling out your profile. Women using Ashley Madison might not have any reservations about connecting with married guys, but they don’t want to feel too objectified. You’re dealing with open-minded women who are up for no-strings sex, not prostitutes. Once you get a conversation off the ground, you can eventually steer the dialogue toward bedroom details and sexual preferences.
Finally, think carefully before uploading your profile photo. A good photo needs a first-class hero shot, so pick a snap that showcases you well. However, you don’t want to create any false impressions. By all means pick a photo that presents you in a good light, but make sure it’s reflective of what you actually look like in the flesh.
How to Get a Conversation Started
Struggling to get the attention of women on Ashley Madison? Your opening statement probably needs work. Looking for some inspiration? We’ve put together some suggestions that will make starting a conversation easier than ever before.
When Words Fail You
Not everyone has a way with words. If you’ve spotted a profile that catches your eye and are itching to start talking with a woman on Ashley Madison, think about using images to get the ball rolling instead. You can use a quirky image as an icebreaker. Alternatively, a funny GIF can raise a smile and start a dialogue, without you having to delve into your vocabulary. However, you should follow some general tips to increase the odds of securing a reply. Avoid sending anything too sexual, even if a woman’s profile demonstrates she’s up for anything.
Lead With a Question
Commencing the conversation with a question is always a great idea. For starters, it saves you from having to come up with something slick to introduce yourself with. What’s more, it’ll make you come across as more engaged and open to hearing what she has to say. We’re not suggesting you lead by asking what her favorite color is, however. Instead, keep it specific. Trawl her profile to find interest points you can use for question inspiration. Does she mention movies and television shows she’s interested in? Ask her what she thought of a recent cinema release or episode.
Use Their Profile for Inspiration
As well as giving you ideas of questions, a woman’s Ashley Madison profile is a treasure trove of insights into the kind of person she is. Most women will expect you to read their bio before messaging them, but photo galleries can also provide you with plenty of material. Look at what she’s wearing, where she’s posing, and what she’s doing. If you recognize any local haunts or landmarks, make a point of this in your first message. Is her pad furnished with iconic posters or prints? Let them know you share a love of a particular artist and you’ll up your chances of securing a hookup.
There’s Always Room for Humour
Cracking a joke is an easy way of breaking the ice. However, you can sink or swim when using humor to initiate contact with a woman. Cheesy pickup lines should never be deployed with a straight face. If you’re going to fall back on them, make sure she knows you’re doing so ironically. If you want to go broad, delve into the tried and tested classics. A knock-knock joke can work wonders, provided it’s not playground-level. If you have a novelty joke book gathering dust on a shelf, think about fishing it out and flicking through the pages for ideas. Just remember to avoid sending anything too NSFW.
Ask for Recommendations if They’re Local
If you’re scouting for nearby women, you can use your shared location as a launching pad for conversations. Ask for bar recommendations or enquire as to whether there are any new decent clubs in the vicinity. If a woman says she’s a foodie in her profile, ask about restaurant recommendations or recipe suggestions. You’ve broken the ice but have also demonstrated you’ve noted her interests. Easy conversation is bound to follow.
Keep it Simple and Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
For men, making the first move on Ashley Madison is daunting. Furthermore, the fact male users are spending a small premium on every message they send makes it even more frustrating when a reply isn’t forthcoming.
When messaging women on this platform, don’t overthink it and keep things casual. You’re never going to enjoy a 100-percent success rate when messaging women. Even the ones who do message you back aren’t guaranteed to keep talking to you after a few exchanges. If you’re brand new to the system, experiment with different greetings. Getting a better hit rate with GIFs? Use these to ignite conversations in the future. Are you finding that jokes are better at breaking the ice? Lean into humor when making the first move.
More importantly, it’s not free for everyone. While women can use Ashley Madison free of charge, male users have to shell out for credits just to send messages and engage with fellow users. Admittedly, there are a few pricing tiers, making it reasonably affordable for casual users. However, anyone looking to increase their odds of landing a connection is going to have to fork out a small fortune for the privilege. Thankfully, there are many great alternatives out there to explore. Looking to connect with sexy singles for no-strings fun? Below are some of the best hookup sites currently available.
1. Heated Affairs
Heated Affairs is the place to go if you’re looking for extramarital fun. It’s an ideal alternative to Ashley Madison if you’re looking to make a saving, but don’t want to make too many sacrifices when it comes to functionality and discretion.
There is a pretty large user base on offer here. As of 2022, Heated Affairs boasts more than 48 million active users. Like Ashley Madison, you’ll have to pay to use Heated Affairs. This platform uses a similar credit system, but it’s far more affordable. Currently, you can pick up 200 credits for $3. However, just about every feature requires you to part with some credits, so don’t expect to use this service without paying.
Aside from a large pool of profiles and user-friendly instant messaging, you can also enjoy live webcam streams. What’s more, there are many active user groups to join here, making it easy to find an affair partner who shares your sexual interests and kinks.
There are some downsides here. If you’re looking for a completely free alternative to Ashley Madison, having to cough up for credits is going to be a point of contention. Furthermore, there are some fake profiles in the mix here and the site operator isn’t particularly proactive when it comes to deleting them.
2. NoStringsAttached
If you’re prepared to pay for a dating service, NoStringsAttached is something to consider. Unlike Ashley Madison, NoStringsAttached operates on a monthly subscription basis. As of 2022, a basic monthly subscription will set you back $29.95. This might seem like a lot, but you’ll enjoy full access to all available features, with no hidden costs looking for further functionality behind a paywall.
Around 3 million people use this platform every month. NoStringsAttached might not boast the biggest user base, but it does play host to one of the most enthusiastic user pools. One of the real standouts of this service is its privacy features. If you’re worried about your spouse finding out about what you’re up to, you can be reassured that NoStringsAttached isn’t going to leave a trail of digital breadcrumbs.
When you’ve found someone who piques your interest, you can message them directly over the platform. You can also take things further with live webcam chat. Free membership is available, although you’ll be severely limited when it comes to the features you can use. Another downside is that NoStringsAttached doesn’t offer a dedicated app. That being said, the main site itself is mobile-friendly, meaning you won’t be too limited when making connections on the go.
3. Zoosk
Zoosk is a fairly conventional dating service, but it caters to just about everyone, including users looking for affairs. It started life as a Facebook app but has since blossomed and evolved into its own entity. It’s one of the best online platforms for personalized dating. As of 2022, there are more than 40 million users, meaning you’ll have no trouble finding someone to connect with, no matter what your kinks or sexual preference.
Search filters make it easy to find your perfect match, although you can also make use of the innovative matchmaking feature. There’s also a randomized carousel function, which operates in much the same way as Tinder’s swiping system.
You can start using Zoosk straight away thanks to a free trial. Once you’ve completed your trial period, you’ll have to start paying to use the full suite of features. The good news is that Zoosk is one of the more affordable dating platforms on the web. Currently, a monthly membership will cost you a very reasonable $10.00 if you sign up for a 12 month plan.
4. Adult FriendFinder
Adult FriendFinder is a fairly expensive option, but if you’re looking for no-strings sex and hookup partners with no inhibitions, you’ll have no trouble justifying the cost. This established platform is geared toward swingers and those who have few reservations when it comes to sex. Whether you’re a single guy looking to connect with sexy women or an open-minded type eager to explore the thrill of threesomes, you’ll find what you’re after here.
You can start using this service for free. It costs nothing to create a profile and browse the user base. However, to unlock full profile details and start engaging with other users, you’ll need to start paying for a subscription. Currently, Adult FriendFinder costs $39.95 per month. This is fairly pricey, but you’ll almost certainly end up paying at least twice this amount at Ashley Madison if you’re a particularly active user.
Adult FriendFinder also offers one of the best cam chat features around. If you’re looking to test the waters virtually before jumping into bed with strangers, this is a great way to break the ice. If you’re happy to spend a small premium on a first-rate service, you could do a lot worse than Adult FriendFinder.
5. BeNaughty
Looking for a free alternative to Ashley Madison? Give BeNaughty a try. However, as with Ashley Madison, men and women are treated differently when it comes to access. Female users with a free plan can access pretty much every basic feature, although male users will be limited to a handful of free messages per day. If you’re not worried about rushing to find an affair partner, this might still work out nicely for you.
This site works in much the same way as Tinder. You can create a profile and, based on your search parameters, you simply swipe left or right as you sift through member profiles. Although fairly simple, this service does offer robust privacy features. If you’re worried about discretion, it’s easy to keep your videos and photos locked out from public view.
Start Exploring Ashley Madison Alternatives Today
As you can see, there is no shortage of Ashley Madison alternatives out there. Looking for no-strings sex with like-minded singles and adventurous couples? Make Adult FriendFinder your first port of call. Interested in everything from casual dating to finding someone who shares your sexual kinks? Zoosk caters to just about everyone. If you’re ready to play away from the marital bed, Heated Affairs is arguably your best option. Although you’ll have to shell out for a budget-friendly plan, you won’t be disappointed thanks to a huge user base and impressive privacy features.
Going by the name “The Impact Team“, this hacker group threatened to publish all the stolen information online if Ashley Madison didn’t shut down its services immediately. Ashley Madison called their bluff, but the hackers made good on their promise. In August of that year, the group leaked the details of millions of users, including real names, personal addresses, and platform search history.
The Aftermath
Naturally, this data breach causes trouble for many married men who thought they were using the service discreetly. Furthermore, many Ashley Madison users found themselves at the mercy of criminals as extortionists combed through the reams of released data, threatening to contact spouses and girlfriends if ransoms weren’t paid.
How did this happen? Well, Ashley Madison didn’t have a great reputation for deleting user information in the past, even when users decided to stop using the service. Although Ashley Madison managed to survive the incident relatively unscathed, with the operator only forced to pay a paltry $1.6 million fine, there are continuing questions about how secure this hookup platform actually is.
What Changes Has Ashley Madison Implemented?
Wondering how Ashley Madison weathered the storm? Well, the company pulled out all the stops when it came to improving privacy and security. In the past, user details weren’t automatically deleted when someone wished to stop using the service. In fact, users had to pay a one-off cancellation fee to have their email addresses removed from the system and their accounts permanently suspended. Despite Ashley Madison securing a healthy stream of revenue from this tacked-on service, not everyone who paid for the option actually saw their details being sent to the virtual incinerator.
Nowadays, men using Ashley Madison can enjoy far more robust privacy measures. Two-factor authentication is now offered as standard, meaning there’s little chance of a hacker or suspicious spouse logging into an account. If you do choose to use two-factor authentication, bear in mind that this functionality is provided by a third party. This company, Nexmo, won’t leave your information vulnerable to attackers. However, should you decide to cancel your account with Ashley Madison, you’ll also need to contact this partner company to ensure they too have deleted all your data.
Furthermore, all payments are now anonymous. While men will still have to pay to purchase credits or activate additional subscriptions, Ashley Madison won’t be flagged up on any billing information. (See our post on how to get free credits on Ashley Madison)
Many adult-only websites sell stored data to third parties to generate additional revenue. Thankfully, Ashley Madison has committed to abandoning this practice. You may still find that you see personalized ads in your browser when using the desktop version of the site, but this is par for the course. If you’re serious about online privacy, you can make quick adjustments to your browser settings to prevent this from happening.
What Information Does Ashley Madison Store?
As with any dating site, you’ll need to provide Ashley Madison with personal details to create an account and start using the matchmaking feature. You’ll need to provide a username, along with your current relationship status. Other required information includes your location and date of birth. You’ll also need to outline what you’re looking for regarding affair preferences. As well as that, you’ll need to provide some information regarding your appearance. Currently, this only extends to your weight and height.
Several information fields are optional. For example, you don’t need to provide a photo to create an Ashley Madison account. However, the chances of you landing a connection without a profile photo are slim to none. The good news is that you can use anonymity features to make your profile photos as discreet as possible.
You also have the option of using biometric identification (Touch ID) to access your account. While this is practical, especially if you’re an app or mobile-first user, you may be uncomfortable with sharing this level of information. However, it’s all about balancing risk. Yes, you are handing over biometric information, but you’re also bolstering the security credentials of your account.
Is the Ashley Madison App Secure?
Ashley Madison currently offers an app for Android and iOS users. For many men, the option to use an app exclusively is not only convenient, but it also helps keep their extramarital activities as discreet as possible. That being said, there are some additional security concerns to consider if you’re an app-only user.
When using the browser-based version of Ashley Madison on a laptop or desktop computer, you won’t have to worry about disabling access to a camera or microphone. This isn’t the case with the Ashley Madison app. The app will automatically be able to access your onboard camera and microphone. This isn’t a security vulnerability as such. Rather, it’s to make capturing voice messages and taking photos to send via the platform as easy as possible. Nonetheless, you may wish to change your smartphone or tablet settings so the app has to ask you every time it requires access to these device features.
Furthermore, the app will track your location. Again, this is purely functional. It allows for automatic fetching of the nearest Ashley Madison users to make finding matches easy. However, as with camera and microphone access, you can change your device settings to manage this level of accessibility. For further tips on using the platform effectively, see our Ashley Madison Tips and Tricks article.
Are Your Details Protected When Using Ashley Madison?
There’s always a risk when using services like Ashley Madison. While the service has earned a bad reputation in recent years, it’s gone a long way in improving its security credentials. Nowadays, it’s just as secure as any other hookup platform. However, the average man using Ashley Madison has a lot to lose. To manage risk and reduce the chance of your details falling into the wrong hands, ensure you’re making full use of the privacy features available to you.
Don’t give away highly personal details in your bio. Likewise, if you’re using a photo, activate privacy features so only users you’re actively engaging with can see your galleries. Two-factor authentication is also worth using if you want to prevent third parties from accessing your account.
Finally, when the time comes to stop using Ashley Madison, make sure you’ve requested that your stored details are removed from any databases. Your information should be discarded automatically, but it’s worth emailing dpo@ashleymadison.com to make a form request. You can also contact this same email address to request amendments or access your details at any time.
Illicit Encounters hasn’t been around for as long as Ashley Madison, but it’s one of the more established hookup platforms on the internet. Currently, it’s only available to users based in the United Kingdom and Ireland, but there are more than a million registered users, making it one of the busiest sites of its kind.
Creating an account is free and easy, while a fairly equal gender balance means both men and women have plenty to discover here. Looking to make the most of Illicit Encounters? Read on for some essential tips and tricks to increase your odds of securing a no-strings hookup.
Is Illicit Encounters Legit?
Illicit Encounters has been around since 2003, making it one of the oldest hookup sites on the web. It’s geared toward married users looking for no-strings sex and extramarital affairs. However, you don’t need to be in a long-term relationship to use this service.
It’s a fairly busy platform, with around 65% of registered members using the service regularly. There are also relatively few bots to worry about here, while scammer activity and fraud are largely unheard of. As this site is tailored toward the married crowd, expect a slightly older demographic when searching profiles on Illicit Encounters. The vast majority of users are aged between 32 and 55. If you’re looking for sexual encounters with anyone younger than this, you’re probably better off searching for connections elsewhere.
Creating an Account
To get started at Illicit Encounters, you’ll need to register and create an account. There’s not a lot you need to do here, rather than add your gender, country of residence, and date preferences. You’ll also need to provide your marital status, and current location, along with some contact details. You can then tailor your profile by uploading photos, listing hobbies, and other information.
One welcome feature of Illicit Encounters is that you don’t need to verify your account via an email account or telephone number. If you’re married and looking to cheat discreetly, this will come as good news.
Putting Together a Winning Profile
If you want to attract attention on this platform, you’ll need a standout profile. Filling out a short and snappy bio will go a long way in showcasing you to other users. Try and keep it succinct. Avoid overlong sentences and try and whittle things down to a few killer sentences if you can. Less is always more. Your aim here is to leave other users itching to find out more. You’re more likely to end up with an inbox full of messages if you’ve left an air of mystery in your bio.
It’s important to fill out every section. At best, an incomplete profile is going to make you like someone who’s only half-interested in hooking up. At worst, other users might look at your bio and suspect they are dealing with a fake profile or scammer.
Make Use of All the Available Features
Sadly, Illicit Encounters doesn’t offer a mobile app yet. However, the main platform is packed with handy features that make it easy to find sexual partners for one-off meetings or long-term arrangements. The matchfinder feature is arguably the most useful function of this platform. Provided you’ve filled out your profile fully and listed all your preferences, you’ll quickly be presented with an expansive list of suitable candidates to connect with.
Worried about privacy? If you’re cheating on your spouse and don’t want to run the risk of a casual acquaintance seeing what you’re up to on Illicit Encounters, it’s always best to set your albums to private. You’ll probably want to keep at least one profile photo as your calling card, but the rest of your galleries can be locked down with password protection.
Are you heading away on vacation? Perhaps you’re busy with work for the foreseeable future. Rather than let your profile become inactive and incoming messages left unanswered, make use of the Illicit Encounters ‘Holiday Mode’. You can use this feature to temporarily suspend your profile for three weeks. This prevents would-be suitors from messaging you when you can’t answer. What’s more, it also removes your profile from search results. You’ll only appear to other users when you’re available to talk and meet.
Illicit Encounters also lets you browse the platform in ‘Invisible Mode’. This feature keeps your profile from appearing live as you sift through other profiles. Perfect if you’re new to the platform and worried you might virtually bump into someone you know.
Make Quick Work of Responding to Other Users
If you can only schedule a few moments each day to use Illicit Encounters, it can be hard to keep on top of incoming messages. You don’t want to leave messages unanswered in case you miss out on an opportunity for sex with a stunning stranger. Thankfully, you can use auto-responders to let users know you’re interested in talking further, without you having to actually type out a response. Once this automated message has been sent, they know you’re interested and you can pick up with a more involved response at a later point.
You can also use something called prepared responses to save you time when using illicit Encounters. These are essentially message templates you can pull from in a pinch. You can use them if you’re feeling uninspired, or turn to them if you’ve got a great opening line in the bank. If you’re looking to connect with as many people as possible, prepared responses are the way to go.
Make Suggestions to Illicit Encounters on How They Can Improve
Illicit Encounters welcomes feedback from its users. You have a couple of ways you can share your input. The platform is constantly running polls to judge opinions on new site features and changes. If you’ve had trouble with a new feature, use these polls to let Illicit Encounters know you’re not happy with the changes. Likewise, if you’ve welcomed a new update, show your support with a positive review.
Illicit Encounters also welcomes more in-depth feedback. You can use the ‘Letters to Sara’ customer support feature to send more detailed insights into how you think the platform is performing. Do you think the site is severely lacking in one department? Don’t be afraid to share your suggestions. Illicit Encounters is incredibly popular, but it has a fairly modest user base. The site operators want to keep their users happy, so all feedback is appreciated. Who knows, your feedback might lead to a new feature that will increase your chances of securing your next hookup.
How to Make Your Money Go Further
Although you can create an account without paying a cent, Illicit Encounters isn’t free. The payment system works similarly to Ashley Madison, in that women can use the service without paying, but men need to pay for a subscription package and credits.
There are two subscription packages to choose from. The basic Gold package costs £140 per month. You’ll be able to unlock most site features, although this is fairly expensive for any dating site. Gold Plus is even pricier, costing £170 per month. However, you can make a significant saving if you pay for two months upfront. An 8-week subscription will cost you a relatively affordable £200, which works out as the cheapest way to access Illicit Encounters.
On top of a subscription, men can purchase credits. These need to be purchased in bundles, with a stack of 3,000 credits costing £20. These credits are only really useful for sending things like virtual gifts, so you need to weigh up whether or not you can justify the expense. Although Illicit Encounters will appear discreetly on any credit or debit card statement, you’ll probably want to limit the number of unexplained transactions on any bill if there’s a chance your spouse will be opening your mail.
Is Illicit Encounters Worth It?
If you’re based in the UK or Ireland and want to make online connections for sex, Illicit Encounters is a great option. It may only boast around a million users, but this is a fairly high number considering it’s only available in a couple of countries. What’s more, everyone here is after the same thing. Provided you’ve taken the time to create a premium profile and are ready to put in the work with messaging other users, you shouldn’t have any trouble hooking up.
It’s not the most affordable option out there and, once again, male users get the raw end of the deal. However, if you can justify forking out £200 for eight weeks of access, you’ll enjoy one of the most user-friendly hookup sites on the planet. If you’re paying for a Gold Plus account, make sure you’re responding to all messages. If you’re tight on time, use auto-responders and message templates to keep on top of all your incoming communications.
Zoosk began life as a Facebook feature. Since 2007, this innovative dating platform has emerged as one of the most popular services of its kind. As of 2022, Zoosk boasts around 40 million active users, with eager singles based in more than 80 countries. It’s not only one of the largest dating and hookup sites online, but also one of the most reliable. There are relatively few complaints about fake profiles and scams, while user satisfaction remains consistently high.
Zoosk Tips and Tricks
New to Zoosk? This user-friendly platform makes it easy to connect with other singles (and sometimes affair partners) in your area or pick up a stranger for no-strings sex while traveling. Struggling with your success rate? We’ve put together some invaluable tips and tricks to help you on your way.
Getting Started with Zoosk
If you already have a Facebook account, getting started with Zoosk is incredibly simple. You can simply synchronize your Facebook profile with a Zoosk account. However, you don’t need to be registered with the social media platform to access Zoosk. You can simply create a unique Zoosk account via the website or by downloading the app. The good news is that Zoosk is available via both Google Play and the Apple Store, making it accessible to just about everyone, no matter what device you’re using.
Regardless of how you choose to register, you won’t be charged to start using Zoosk. It’s not a free service if you want to unlock premium features, but you want to be billed a cent unless you opt into a paid subscription. Currently, basic Zoosk subscriptions cost as little as $12.49 per month.
Creating Your Profile
Putting together a Zoosk profile is incredibly easy. Once you’ve registered, you’ll be asked a series of questions that will be used to craft your user profile. To increase your odds of landing connections, be it meaningful relationships or no-strings sexual encounters, avoid the urge to lie when answering these questions. Be upfront about what you look like, what you’re into, and what you’re looking for. Other users are going to use this information to decide whether or not to engage with you, so there’s no point wasting anyone’s time.
Another reason to be upfront is that Zoosk uses this information to match you with other users. There are some pretty advanced algorithms at work here, with Zoosk quickly matching you up with the most compatible users in your vicinity. If you’ve painted yourself in the wrong light, you’re not going to land anyone who’s going to be genuinely interested in taking things further with you.
Review Your Bio Before it Goes Live
It seems obvious, but it’s important your bio and profile information is as accurate as possible. We’re not just talking about honest information, either. Before publishing your bio, make sure you’ve proofread the text for any errors. Even the odd spelling mistake is going to stick out like a sore thumb. People are less likely to take the time to respond to or message people who haven’t bothered to craft a legible profile. Make sure you’re not falling at the first hurdle.
Upload a Variety of Profile Photos
Even if you’re starting out with a free account, Zoosk lets you upload several photos to your profile. You’ll want a killer headshot to get things started. A selfie is fine, but just make sure it’s a decent shot. If you have a professional headshot, use that. A bathroom selfie taken in front of a vanity mirror is definitely a no.
Explicit photos are also something you’ll want to avoid. There may be a time and place to share these later on, but your Zoosk profile isn’t the platform for your thirst snaps. Instead, delve into your photo library and look for inspiring snaps from your travels. Use images to showcase your interests and passions, not just what you look like. You’re not only going to present yourself as an interesting prospect, but you’ll also give other users something to draw upon when asking you questions.
Your Bio Should Be Unique
Pretty much everyone’s used a dating app at some point in their life, so don’t play coy when crafting your bio. There really isn’t any place for an opening line like
“not really sure what to put here…”
in this day and age.
Your bio is your opening line, your main marketing angle. Be specific, not broad. Love to travel? Great, so do most people. Get into the details. Mention where you’ve been, and why you like to travel. Big music fan? We’ve all got a pair of earphones. Listing a band you love is all well and good, but identifying a particular album or track will show you actually care about what you’re typing into your profile.
Don’t Come Across as a Difficult Customer
Plenty of people turn to dating apps and hookup sites (like Ashley Madison) out of desperation. However, you can’t expect people to respond to a list of demands and exacting requirements. Whatever you do, avoid listing what physical features you’re looking for in a partner. What’s more, never get into sexual preferences this early in the game. It’s fine to mention your orientation and whether you’re looking for casual fun or something more serious, but anything beyond that is going to put prospective matches off (Stay Discreet and Safe: Ashley Madison Privacy Tips and Tricks).
People won’t want to get into a conversation with someone who seems challenging. Connecting via Zoosk and similar platforms is a game of give and take. You might feel like you’re saving time by getting the specifics out of the way early, but you can always abandon a conversation quickly if you don’t think it’s moving in the right direction. If you’re using Zoosk, you should be open to new opportunities.
Regularly Refresh Your Profile
If you’re an active Zoosk user, keep your profile current with regular updates. We’re not suggesting you use your Zoosk bio as an online journal, but you should definitely be refreshing your gallery from time to time. Been on vacation? Upload one or two travel snaps. Not been getting many responses or incoming messages? Your profile is probably lacking. Adding more content will make it a much more attractive prospect to potential matches.
Making Your First Move
Sending your first message over Zoosk can be daunting. However, you can streamline the process by doing your homework. Don’t just drop a message to someone because you like the look of them. First, scour their profile to find talking points you can draw on. Mention specific details you’ve picked from their images. Let them know you’ve taken the time to read what they’ve actually written. They might not necessarily want to jump into bed with you, but they’ll appreciate the fact you’ve taken the time to learn more about them.
Don’t Lead With Sleaze
There are millions of people looking to find a lay via Zoosk, but it’s worth remembering that it’s not a sex-first hookup site. As such, you really shouldn’t be leading with a sleazy pickup line. Instead, keep it sincere, even if your first message sounds a little tepid.
If you quickly realize you’re dealing with someone with few inhibitions, you can up the ante a little. That being said, you probably don’t want to be chasing an initial greeting with a dick pic.
Is Zoosk Worth Your Time?
If you’re already using Facebook, you should definitely think about adding the Zoosk app to your phone. You can have a Zoosk profile live and ready to go in minutes. There are millions of users waiting to connect with like-minded singles. What’s more, it’s one of the most advanced dating platforms in terms of matchmaking. Provided you’ve added relevant information to your profile, you’ll be matched up with compatible users in no time.
Zoosk is also incredibly affordable. A monthly subscription costs a fraction of what you can expect to pay to use other platforms, despite Zoosk offering fairly extensive features. It’s not exactly designed with sex-crazed users in mind, but there’s no shortage of adventurous users actively using this service.
Up until now, I’ve tried to keep this blog upbeat, funny and lively. But the truth is, affair partners losing interest, affairs ending and coping with those breakups is a big part of cheating. If you’re reading this very article, you’re probably going through a breakup and have turned to google for ways of coping.
Let me just start by saying ‘I hear you!’
Whether you’re a man or a woman, the emotional pain of breakups are truly awful. Before I write any piece for this site, I always google my title just to see what information is out there. And as usual, half if not all of the articles on page 1 are utter garbage.I wrote an article not long ago titled Even Cheaters Feel The Pain Of Break Ups, and that’s because at that time, I was going through the worst breakup ever.
Remember to check out our blog on how to know when it’s time to breakup with someone.
I would wake up to the usual ‘morning babe’ message, followed by a phone call after I’d drop my kids off to school, followed by plenty of loving messages throughout the day, most of which sounded like ‘got nothing to say, was just thinking about you’. And of course neither her or I could go to bed without texting each other ‘night babe x’
We even had our own song, and given my latest affair ended only last year, our song was the popular track Peaches by Justin Bieber. And whenever either of us would stumble upon a DJ remix of the song on Insta, we always sent it to each other.
We were totally in love. And when it ended, which like all great things can happen, I was crushed.
I felt totally empty. I was lost. I was gutted. I was broken. I felt all alone. I felt like I was back in high school and it was my very first breakup. And despite being a serial cheater for over ten years, if not longer, I couldn’t legislate my feelings and being crushed was tough.
To make matters worse, I had to keep a straight face at work and continue to run my company and I had to go home and deal with my own family without anyone knowing that a part of me inside had completely died.
I missed being with that person. I missed the messages, the warmth, the way she made me feel, the love, I missed it all.And every time I thought I’d gotten over her, I’d be driving along happy with my life, that darned song Peaches would play on the radio and I’d be miserable all over again.
So if you’ve gotten this far, and anything I’m saying above resonates with you, then believe me when I tell you, I hear you!
Now I’m no dummy. Very soon after this love affair was over, I tried everything. I went from missing her to hating her and every emotion in between. The intelligent part of me realised that I was grieving an amazing relationship, whilst the emotional part of me just wanted to call her up and cry!
I even turned to Google for advice, however the sites I found give you these step by step guides on things you should consciously to get over your affair partner, but they’re all rubbish and clearly written by either cold hearted motherfuckers or paid writers who imagined what it’s like vs have actually been in that position.
But to be in it, to have it and to lose it, really knocks the wind out of you.
I tried everything, but quickly realised that there wasn’t an instant fix. Or at least for me there wasn’t.I exercised, I spoke to my closest friends, I had plenty of flings and one night stands – but the pain just didn’t go away. My breakup had very simply taken away my confidence and I felt reduced. I was mostly angry at myself that I had allowed someone into my life and my heart that would ultimately shatter it into a million pieces.
And here was the kicker, my last bad breakup was with a massive Instagram influencer. Someone who had over 100k followers. And whilst I’d blocked her from every channel, it was only natural that other people shared her videos which inevitably ended up on my feed. It was like there was no getting away from her. And seeing her happy and with her husband all smiling and dancing just made matters worse.
So trust me, I hear you.
It didn’t help that when I spoke to my friends who didn’t play away from home or were single would say things like;
Jesus buddy get over it. You’re married with kids. You have everything in your life I want.
They just didn’t get it!! They were a completely unsympathetic audience. And let’s be fair, you can’t exactly broadcast the breakup to your family and all your friends because loose lips sink ships.
If you’re still with me, and you’re still reading, then you’ll relate to each of the words I’m saying.
How to stop thinking about your affair partner
I’d love to tell you I have the magic fix, I don’t. Cos if I did, I wouldn’t have lost the last few months thinking about her, and knowing she’d probably have forgotten about me altogether. No, I don’t have the instant fix.
All I can do is share what has helped me, share with you what has eased the pain, and share with you how I eventually got over her and the breakup.
Exercise. Whilst at the time it didn’t feel like it was helping, going to the gym, cycling and boxing was very therapeutic. They say motion creates emotion and it really does get you out of a funk. For me, I train with a couple of friends and have done since lockdown. I’m not the type of guy that lets my friends down ever, and they’re the type of friends who would let me miss workout sessions, despite whatever the latest dramas in my life were. Exercising kept me looking good, kept my focus in check and most of all really did help me seeat away the jealousy and anger I had towards her. Most of which stemmed from having a bruised ego.
Meditating. I’ve been meditating for a while and it truly helps. There are so many amazing videos and below is one I’ve done for a while.It wasn’t a fix, it didn’t take away the pain, it didn’t help me forget about her but without it I feel I would have been broken. State management is so important and affair or no affair I was still a CEO, a husband and a dad. And I know that without meditation I would have taken so much out on either my staff or my family – which Wasn’t fair on anyone
Reading – I’ve always been a big reader but reading books like xyz kept my brain in check. It distracted me from thinking about her and filled my brain with knowledge.
Clothes. The beauty about exercising, is that invariably you lose weight. And when you lose weight, most of your existing clothes will stop fitting you. I really did enjoy buying some new clothes. It helped me look better, which definitely increased my confidence.
Comedies on TV. Nothing beats taking your mind of stuff than avoiding it altogether. I found that out of all the crap that was on Netflix, the Stand Up Comedy portion of it worked best. It had me in stitches most of the time, and the beauty about great comedians, is even with utterly tragic events, they had this ability to make light of it all and put things firmly back into perspective.
Time. I know it’s cliche, but time is a big healer. I do discuss this a little bit more in detail below.
Things I Wish I Hadn’t Done To Try And Ease The Pain Of A Breakup
The trouble is there’s a bunch of things I did thinking it would help ease the pain, and it really didn’t.
I continued to follow her from another account on Instagram. I’d watch all her videos and stories. I don’t know why I did, but it became almost excessive. Nothing good came from it, other than I wish I was still with her. Seeing her happy and with her family, literally made my feel like shit.
Talk to my single friends. I have a few friends who are either divorced and single – and for some reason I thought they’d be a sympathetic ear. I couldn’t have been more wrong. They literally just could not relate. Not even in the slightest. They’d look at my life and see a family man with a business and they’d keep wondering what was wrong with me. They didn’t want to know about the side chick ending, as long as everything was ok on the home front.
After a few months, I got back in touch with my ex suggesting we be friends. Obviously I didn’t want to be friends, I was hoping that through a friendship I could win her back. But of course within a couple of days, we’d be back to arguing and it was a stupid idea to begin with. She saw straight through my idiotic strategy and it just made things substantially worse.
Mental Health – What I Wish I Would Have Done
This situation, this breakup totally destroyed me and having to play the happy boss and family man to boot was making things even harder. There was no doubt that my mental health was taking a hit like never before. I couldn’t turn to my friends, I obviously couldn’t talk to my wife – there was just no way of dealing with this. It turned out there was even a term out there for all of this; breakup depression.
What I wish I would have done was talk to a therapist. A trained professional who wouldn’t judge me – and would help ease the burden of carrying this secret around. It would have made things substantially easier and after starting this blog – I’ve spoken to quite a few people who did just that and felt so much better for it. It sped up the timeline of getting over things and if I ever find myself in a situation like this before, then it’ll be my first and only port of call.
There are so many discreet therapists who work over Zoom and are fully trained in helping people get over breakups. There was a time where seeing a therapist was considered Taboo, but in this day and age, it’s become something very normal to do. And it’s something I wish I would have considered at the time.
How Long Does It Take To Get Over An Affair Partner
Now this is going to sound so cliche. And if you’ve gotten this far and really are in pain, you’re absolutely going to hate this answer and will want to scream at your computer. But it’s time.
Time is an incredible healer. Whilst a lot of the above things truly helped keep me sane, it didn’t take away the pain and anguish. That feeling of being empty and almost grieving didn’t go from exercise or clothes or chatting to my friends. But time is what took me to a place of feeling indifferent about her,it took me to a place where I don’t miss her and nor do I hate her. It took me to a place of not hating all women and wanting to give up affairs.
In addition to this, I spent much more time being attentive to my wife and children. This particular breakup gave me a sense of perspective and gave me back an attitude of gratitude, for having a beautiful family, with whom I just wasn’t fully present with. I became immersed with all of them again and truly realised that whilst I do what I do on the side, I’m blessed to have them in my life. And as long as that part of my life remains discreet, then I will never hurt them.
If you are reading this article, I do hear you, truly. And get in touch with me and I’m happy to be a sounding board as well as introduce you to the right therapists. I’ve been there plenty of times before and I have no doubt that I’ll be there again. I just feel the next time it happens, I’ll be so much better equipped at dealing with the next breakup.
Is sexting cheating? In the age of smartphones and social media, the lines between innocent online banter and genuine infidelity have become blurred. In fact, many people now in a committed relationship will have met online via a dating app. Those relationships may have started with flirty exchanges and inboxes overflowing with explicit photographs. It’s no surprise then that many people have trouble separating what’s acceptable when texting someone who isn’t their partner. However, what isn’t acceptable is when those messages veer close to sexting behavior.
What is Sexting?
How do we define sexting? This isn’t rocket science. If you’re sending sexually-loaded messages to someone else or firing off nude photos or video clips to someone else, you’re guilty of sexting. Not everyone is comfortable with these kinds of exchanges, but it’s par for the course in the digital age of today.
However, it’s not something you should be doing if you’re currently attached and in a committed relationship. You may not plan on meeting up with your sexting target in real life, but these exchanges have the potential to evolve into online affairs. It’s an emotional betrayal, plain and simple. Get caught out, and you run the risk of putting the brakes on your relationship or ending a happy marriage.
Navigating the Grey Area
Just because you’re not pursuing a physical relationship with other women, doesn’t mean you’re not guilty of emotional infidelity. For many married couples, it’s this emotional betrayal that really throws a spanner in the works. In fact, many women will admit that they can forgive their partner engaging with physical sex with someone else. However, a secret exchange that’s been simmering away for some time is far harder to forgive.
Men might dismiss sexting as a fairly innocent activity. Even if they’re sharing explicit photos and heated exchanges, the fact they haven’t actively pursued someone else for sex makes them feel as though they’re innocent of any wrongdoing. Although gender differences do come into play here, some women may have a more relaxed attitude toward sexting. If you’re confident that your other half is comfortable with you flirting with other people online, sexting isn’t a relationship-ending activity.
Is Sexting Really Cheating?
Although sexting lacks physical contact, it can bear all the hallmarks of an intimate relationship. If you’re currently in a relationship, there’s a good chance you’ve engaged in sexting with your partner. For many couples, filthy exchanges and the sharing of erotic photos are part of the courtship ritual.
Is Sexting Cheating?
Once you’ve committed to somebody else, sexting with someone else is definitely something you should avoid. Being committed to someone and enjoying a fully-fledged physical relationship with them doesn’t instantly qualify sexting as harmless fun.
You might not be entertaining the idea of meeting up with your sexting partner in person, but your other half doesn’t know that. Any intimate connection, be it physical or virtual, is a risk factor in any relationship.
It All Depends on Who You’re Asking
As with casual flirting in everyday life, many men and women consider sexting as harmless fun. However, the secretive nature of sexting complicates matters. If you’re currently involved in a long-term relationship and sexting with someone else, you’re almost certainly not letting your spouse in on the action. If you’re keeping your digital devices locked down and your sexting activities a secret, you’re already guilty of committing low-level emotional infidelity.
The person doing the sexting likely has a multitude of reasons to justify their actions. They might have a high sex drive and reason that occasional sexting satiates their appetites, without them having to physically act upon them. Others might be easily led. Perhaps you’ve been approached via direct message on social media. However, just because you didn’t start the back-and-forth, doesn’t make it okay that you’ve continued to volley messages back and forth.
Sometimes, the stage of a relationship can factor into how acceptable sexting is considered. Is it still early days? If you’ve only been going steady for a few weeks or a couple of months, sexting is likely to be written off as nothing to worry about. If you’ve been committed to someone for years, however, sexting is a clear violation of trust.
Can sexting derail your current relationship? There’s also the potential for a flirty exchange to turn into a full-blown online affair. To understand why let’s explore some factors that make sexting such an unhealthy phenomenon.
It Promotes Unhealthy Sexual Fantasies
There’s been a lot of chatter in recent years about how online pornography has skewed the perception of sex for younger people. Sexting plays into this somewhat. Those engaging in sexting regularly run the risk of skewing their perceptions about what constitutes a healthy sex life. Sexually-loaded texts and messages loaded with explicit content aren’t how most people talk in day-to-day life. However, if you’re engaging in enough of these conversations, it can make you reconsider your primary relationship and the current state of your sex life.
If you have a regular sexting partner, there’s probably little room for small talk. When one person requests a nude picture, the other will quickly oblige. This kind of transaction doesn’t typically happen in long-term relationships. When was the last time you asked your partner to drop their top or record themselves performing an explicit act? You’ll have probably had to field several questions before getting the desired result if indeed you did at all.
Sexting also runs the risk of altering perceptions about ourselves. With both parties pursuing sexual gratification, there’s rarely room for self-conscious thought. As such, it’s easy to become overly confident in our sexual prowess and abilities. This might lead you to consider pursuing sexual encounters in real life. Alternatively, you may struggle to understand why you’re not getting the same results from your partner in the bedroom.
It Can Drive a Wedge Between You and Your Partner
If you’re sexting regularly, you’re probably distracting yourself from your primary relationship. Sexting can quickly become addictive, especially if you’re in contact with multiple people. All that time spent checking your inbox and finding stolen moments to send a message will have a huge impact on your regular relationship.
If you’re using sexting as a way to fill a void in your current relationship, it’s a surefire way of driving a deeper wedge between you and your other half. Furthermore, if you’re sexting to compensate for something else, you’re more likely to act on the urge to cheat in real life.
Sexting isn’t good for anyone’s mental health. For the offender, it can blur the boundaries between what’s acceptable and what isn’t. For the victim, it can cause huge mental health issues and lead to feelings of inadequacy. If your relationship is at a crossroads and needs work, it’s time to talk the issue through. You don’t need to invest in marriage counseling or relationship guidance, but you definitely need to sit down and discuss what’s working and what isn’t.
Repeat Offenders Will Get Caught Out
Think you can get away with sexting indefinitely? Unless you’re an expert in espionage tactics, you can’t. Spouses are often suspicious of contact texting and secretive phone calls. What’s more, many people see nothing wrong in asking to see the contents of their spouse’s phone.
If red flags are raised elsewhere, don’t be too surprised if your partner is focusing more on what you’re doing with your digital devices. Keeping your smartphone close by will only go so far in keeping your virtual dalliances private. If your other half is particularly suspicious, there are all manner of ways they can delve into your virtual private life.
They could use a monitoring app to see exactly what you’re up to. Alternatively, if your passcodes aren’t exactly bulletproof, they can easily log into your device when you’re not around. If you’re eager to keep your sexting activity a complete secret, you’ll need to be cautious about any interaction they have with your device, especially if you’re using online dating sites.
Look out for supposedly innocent requests to use your phone. Maybe they want to use your smartphone to deliver takeout. Maybe they’re claiming to need a number for a mutual acquaintance. If you must keep up with sexting, a burner phone they have no knowledge about is the only guaranteed way of keeping your activities a complete secret. Even then, you’ll need to find reasons to excuse yourself so you can use this device without drawing attention.
It’s Not Always Innocent
Just because you consider sexting innocent and unlikely to go anywhere, don’t assume the person you’re messaging feels the same. Is the target of your texts becoming too attached? Sexually-charged texts can quickly boil over into something more serious.
If you’re currently in a relationship, it’s easy to compartmentalize sexting. You might get a cheap thrill from someone sending you naked photos, but you’re unlikely to consider this a prelude to a full-blown sexual affair. However, if you’re messaging a single person, any response they get might come across as being more loaded than you intended.
Ultimately, you can’t count on the other person becoming more emotionally attached than you are. If they’re putting a lot of stock in your exchanges, you put yourself in a precarious position. If you don’t want to take things to the next level or attempt to step back from communicating with them, things can get nasty.
It Can End a Relationship
Even if your partner never suspects that you’re sexting, there are other ways your activities can come to light. You could find yourself being blackmailed by the person you’re talking to. You might have put a lot of effort into concealing your antics from your spouse, but your personal details will be easy enough to source online. If you’ve given your name and revealed a few snippets of personal information, a wronged party will have no trouble sniffing out your social media profile.
Furthermore, your photos could become compromised. Many celebrities have fallen foul of nude photo leaks and the general population isn’t immune to such cyberattacks. Admittedly, it’s unlikely that your other half will stumble upon these photos, but you still don’t want this kind of content ending up in the public sphere.
Can Couples Move Past a Sexting Scandal?
Generally speaking, most couples can move on from a sexting revelation. If the guilty partner owns up to their behavior and accepts what they did was wrong, both sides can put their best foot forward and work on mending their relationship. If you’ve been sexting to compensate for a lack of passion at home, post-scandal conversations can also be used to carve out a better, healthier relationship.
Obviously, this doesn’t apply if you’ve allowed sexting to turn into something more serious. While it’s tempting to give into your urges and meet a sexting partner in real life, remember that actual intimacy isn’t going to rival the level of conversation you’ve been having up until that point. It’s easy to talk dirty and look your best with a well-posed and perfectly filtered photograph, but the reality of casual sex is something else entirely.
If you’re feeling the urge to cheat, there’s probably something profoundly wrong with your relationship. If you don’t see a long-term future with your partner, now’s the time to take stock and, if needed, take a step back. Think about your options and consider negotiating terms. Your other half might feel the same way, leaving you both free to pursue other options.
Have you been playing the field for some time now? When navigating the world of online dating, you’ve probably come across your fair share of profiles saying someone is only interested in a casual relationship. Casual dating is on the rise, with apps making it easier than ever for people to skip the small talk and get straight down to what’s important.
However, in real life, casual arrangements don’t work for everyone. If you’ve recently exited a committed relationship, your idea of what casual is might not match up to the expectations of someone you’re meeting after connecting online. They might be looking for no-strings sex with multiple partners, while you’re looking to ignite the beginnings of a physical and emotional relationship.
Most people fall somewhere in between these two extremes. Pursuing something casual puts less pressure on both parties. There are no suffocating expectations about when a relationship should progress to a certain point, while physical intimacy isn’t always a declaration of undying love and long-term commitment.
Something Casual Meaning?
That being said, dealing with countless dates that go nowhere fast can be exhausting. You might have been meeting someone regularly for many months under the assumption that your relationship has now progressed to a relatively serious level. However, you can easily find the rug being pulled from under you when they reveal they’ve been seeing other people on the side. It’s not cheating they’ll claim. After all, they thought you were only looking for something casual.
Looking to streamline your way to a more serious relationship? Below, we explore what someone really means when they say they’re looking for something casual.
1. They’re Not Thinking About Long-Term Plans
Is casual dating right for you? Before you decide to engage with people claiming to be looking for something casual, step back and consider what you’re really looking for in a partner. Are you searching for someone you can eventually show off to friends and introduce to your family? Are you expecting to ingratiate your new partner into your social scene? Are you looking to have a long-term affair?
Somebody who’s only looking for a casual relationship probably isn’t going to want to get involved with your passion projects or learn about your side hustles.
With a casual relationship, there are real expectations in place. You can’t enter into things thinking that the ultimate result is a more serious relationship. That’s not to say casual flings can’t progress into something more serious, but don’t feel too disheartened if things fizzle out, rather than flourish into something long-lasting.
How do you know if someone is definitely not interested in a long-term future? There will be no discussions about long-term goals. They’ll have little interest in planning for shared experiences beyond casual fun and sex. However, before you tap out and start looking for a better long-term prospect, consider if this casual entanglement is working for you. Are you enjoying yourself? Is this relationship helping you heal from a previous one? It might be worth keeping things as they are for now.
2. They Won’t Expect Too Much From You
If you’re returning to the dating world after a long spell in a serious relationship, it can be hard to read the room with casual partners. Do you find yourself waiting for hours, if not days, to get a response from a text or voicemail? Do they drag their heels when giving you an answer to a simple question? Some people take this as a sign that someone isn’t interested and is letting them down gently. However, it’s a pretty standard hallmark of casual dating.
Casual dating has little to no expectations or obligations. That’s the entire point. While romantic feelings can easily develop, you don’t need to go above and beyond to keep your partner happy. Don’t feel like meeting up for a week or longer? Neither party should see this as a rejection. Instead, you’re simply allowing each other breathing room to get on with life and do your own thing.
The world of casual dating can prove a culture shock for many people, especially if they’ve largely been in long-term monogamous relationships before. However, if you change your way of thinking and accept that there are other ways to date, you’ll be richly rewarded.
3. They Might Not Be Interested in a Monogamous Relationship
If you’re casually dating, you’re going to have to accept that the people you’re seeing may be seeing other people simultaneously. This style of dating and casual sex often go hand in hand, but it’s not always talked about before people start meeting after connecting online or elsewhere.
If you’ve recently hooked up with someone who’s made it clear they’re looking for something casual, don’t be afraid of being upfront about whether or not this comes with an agreement that you’re free to see other people. Chances are somebody seeking something casual will at least want to explore other options during the early days of a relationship. Likewise, it’s entirely acceptable for you to pursue other people and engage in casual sex.
Naturally, all that casual sex comes with a degree of risk. As a rule, you should be practicing safe sex to protect yourself from STDs. If you’ve recently met someone looking for a casual relationship and they’ve brought up the topic of seeing other people, use this as an opportunity to bring safer sex precautions into the conversation.
Can casual dating lead to a romantic relationship? Of course it can. However, you’ll need a thick skin to move past the fact that your partner was potentially sleeping with dozens of other people during the first few months of your relationship.
4. They Won’t Expect You to Be at Their Beck and Call
The first few months of any relationship are exciting. It’s easy for us to get carried away with a rose-tinted perspective during the honeymoon period. If you’re brand new to casual dating, this giddy period of the relationship likely won’t go as exactly as you’d expect.
Do you expect an instant response to text messages and social media comments? You’re probably going to have to wait around if you’re seeing someone casually. Likewise, recalibrate your ideas about what are acceptable expectations from a casual dating partner.
For some people, a lack of immediacy reads as someone not being interested or distant. If you’re looking to replace a lack of emotional intimacy in life, you’re unlikely to find it with a casual partner. If things go well for long enough, these elements will fall into place. In the meantime, try not to force it. If you need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to bend, delve into your social circle instead.
5. It’s Not Always Strictly About Sex
Although we’ve talked about how casual dating tends to free up both parties to engage in casual sex, don’t assume someone is ready to go whenever you feel the urge to jump into bed. Looking for someone who’ll drop what they’re doing the moment you call them for a booty call? There’s an entirely different demographic for that.
Just because someone is looking for low-level commitment and a casual arrangement, doesn’t mean they’re not open to the idea of emotional connection and a more serious relationship. If you start things off by treating them as little more than a sex worker, you’re dooming your relationship to failure. Sex can peter out over time and so does the thrill of making a middle-of-the-night booty call. If you stop making the moves on someone, they might think you’ve lost interest, even if it’s just a natural winding down of the honeymoon period.
When Do Casual Relationships Turn into Something More Serious?
Although many of us like to think we’re looking for no-strings fun and casual arrangements, the majority of people will eventually want to progress to something more serious. Knowing when to spot when a casual relationship has evolved into something more genuine is important.
However, don’t enter into things assuming this will happen. Furthermore, don’t think you can steer a casual relationship towards being a committed one. You might luck out, but you’ll often only find yourself disappointed.
That being said, sometimes a serious discussion needs to be had. Think your casual fling might be turning into something more conventional? Below, we spotlight some clear signs that you’re onto a winner.
They’re Opening Up to You
The longer we spend in a relationship with someone, the more likely we have to open up to them. For many people in casual relationships, there’s little room for small talk once the evening’s finished or the sex is over. It’s not uncommon for one or both parties to make their excuses for the day once the fun is done and dusted. However, the longer you spend with someone, the less likely it is they’ll be in a rush to make a departure.
Are you talking more? Are they revealing more about themselves, their interests, and what’s going on in their lives? This is a good sign that a genuine emotional connection has formed. What’s more, if they’re actively asking for your opinion, it shows they value your input. These are all incredibly positive signs that someone is romantically interested in you. Furthermore, it’s evidence that strong foundations for a robust relationship are taking shape.
You can be pretty clear in their intentions if they’re making an effort to remember things about you. Are they asking you about how work is going? Are they remembering specific details and names of people you’ve mentioned? You’re dealing with an active listener here and, most of the time, this is a clear indicator that someone’s interest has progressed beyond casual engagement.
Sex with Other People is No Longer a Thing
If you’re dipping your toe into the casual dating scene, you’re just going to have to accept that the person you’re seeing is going to be sleeping with other people. In a twenty-first century world, it’s easier than ever for people to make last-minute arrangements with sex partners. Accepting this isn’t infidelity isn’t always easy, but it has to be done if you want to reap the benefits of casual dating.
Sometimes, people can continue seeing each other casually for many years, with both partners free to pursue other people sexually. However, it’s not a particularly healthy way to manage a relationship. The more time you spend with someone, the deeper the emotional connection. It’s only natural that you’ll start feeling uncomfortable about them being physically intimate with people who aren’t you.
A lot of people tend to walk away from a casual relationship when the thought of multiple partners becomes too much to handle. However, if you feel strongly enough about someone, don’t feel embarrassed about suggesting that the two of you explore monogamy. If they’re dead against the idea, you’re probably better off walking away and exploring other avenues. If there’s room for negotiation, seize it. Sometimes, you may have to make a compromise. Perhaps the two of you can negotiate some boundaries so you’ll remain relatively oblivious about what the other is up to with other people.
One thing you never want to do is commit to one-sided monogamy. If you’re head over heels in love with someone, it’s only natural that you’d want to remain faithful and monogamous to that person, even if they’re not granting you the same courtesy. Take this approach and you’re knowingly allowing yourself to be emotionally exploited. It will build a rotten framework for the future of your relationship and can wreak havoc on your self-esteem and mental health.
Is Casual Dating the Way Forward for You?
Casual dating has many perks, but you’ll need a strong stomach and a handle on expectations to reap the benefits. If you’re looking to play the field, casual dating is an easy way to explore multiple partners, while still maintaining the luxury of repeated encounters with people you’re genuinely interested in. For some people, casual dating can bolster their self-esteem, making it a worthwhile venture for someone whose ego has taken a beating from a toxic long-term relationship.
The main thing to remember here is that casual dating is complex. No two people are ever going to be on the same page, so clear communication is key to ensuring nobody’s feelings get hurt. Furthermore, you’ll need to rethink your approach to dating in general. Instant replies and round-the-clock emotional investment aren’t standard here.
A monogamous relationship isn’t for everyone. Around 20% of Americans report being unhappy in their romantic relationship. What’s more, a significant number of people have actually pursued sex outside of their primary relationship. It’s estimated as many as 74% of men have had a one night stand. Women are almost as bad, with around 68% admitting to playing around with someone else at least once.
What is a Hall Pass in a Relationship?
Most of the time, these extramarital encounters are one-offs and the guilty party returns to their relationship with their other half none the wiser. However, the occasional indiscretion can quickly lead to a second or third case of cheating. Eventually, this behavior becomes the standard and one or both partners can end up running affairs on the side. Some guys and girls might enjoy the thrill of cheating on their partner, but maintaining an affair is a lot of work. A good cheater needs to be a great liar. Furthermore, maintaining a side piece can prove expensive.
Many people live with the worry that their partner will cheat on them. Their other half may never have strayed, nor give them any indication they’re thinking of playing away. Nonetheless, the worry remains. Sometimes, couples may discuss the concept of a hall pass. It’s essentially a free pass, allowing one or both partners to engage in sex with someone outside of their primary relationship. It’s often discussed half-heartedly, with no genuine expectation that a one-off affair will happen in real life.
Hall Passes Explained
A hall pass is essentially a get of jail free card. It involves one partner giving the other a green light to cheat on a one time basis. The term has been around for many years but was popularized in this context by the 2011 comedy film starring Owen Wilson and Jason Sudeikis.
As previously mentioned, hall passes are typically discussed casually. Couples may discuss celebrity crushes or dream lays. In almost every case, the object of desire isn’t an achievable goal. This makes the idea of a hall pass a novelty.
However, couples who are comfortable with non monogamy may also be open to the idea of hall passes. Sometimes, relationships get stuck in a rut and sex lives can stagnate. Allowing your partner to indulge their desires elsewhere is a surefire way of keeping them from playing away more regularly. What’s more, with proper communication and a strong relationship dynamic, it can prove a healthy outlet for people who want to have sex with other people but aren’t looking to leave their spouses.
Is the Hall Pass Concept the Same as an Open Relationship?
Open relationships are becoming more common. In fact, it’s thought as many as 5% of straight couples are currently engaged in an open relationship. While hall pass agreements share some DNA with open relationships, the two arrangements are not the same thing.
An open relationship allows partners to spend time with other people, not just indulge in no-strings sex. Both parties have to be incredibly secure to pursue an open relationship. A hall pass is different. If it’s only sex that’s on the table, there’s little worry of a partner falling head over heels for someone else and abandoning a marriage or years-long relationship.
Key Differences
Open relationships also require both partners to agree to a long list of conditions. For starters, certain sexual activities may be off the table entirely. Limits also need to be placed on emotional connections. Meeting someone regularly for sex might be fine, but scheduling date nights and trips away may be a big no-no. Some partners may also request detailed updates about who their other half is seeing, where they’re meeting, and what they’ve been up to. Some people are comfortable enough being upfront about all of this. However, in many cases, having these discussions can be grueling and cause trouble at home.
Typically, hall pass arrangements come with none of this baggage. Partner A will agree that Partner B can engage with no-strings sex with someone else with no questions asked. It’s almost always a one-and-done situation.
Should You Agree to a Hall Pass?
For a hall pass to work, both partners need to be granted one. It simply doesn’t make sense for one person to get a free pass at the expense of the other. If you’re both happy with a mutual hall pass agreement, you’re good to go.
However, before you jump straight in, ask yourself why you’re actually looking for a one-time excuse to have sex with someone else. Are you unhappy with your current relationship? If your sex life is getting a little stale, why not focus on spicing things up in the bedroom instead? Exploring roleplay or embracing a little kink might be a better option than fooling around outside of your main relationship.
Alternative Options to Hall Passes
Is the thrill of sleeping with someone else you’re after? Some people find themselves eager to broaden their horizons, especially if they’ve been locked into a relationship for many years. Others may have entered into a long-term relationship without notching up too many sexual partners. Over the years, this can lead to people thinking that they’ve missed out on something.
A mutually beneficial hall pass may provide you with a chance to explore sexual experiences with new people, but you might not get the results you’re after. You need to be confident enough to approach a new sexual partner, not to mention impress in the bedroom. A disappointing casual encounter won’t satiate those sexual urges. In a worst-case scenario, you may find yourself walking away with a heap of emotional baggage.
It’s very unlikely that the idea of a hall pass is going to come up naturally in conversation. In almost every scenario, one person is going to introduce the subject first. After much discussion, might both come around to the idea, but it’s never going to be a completely balanced affair. Discussing the idea alone is enough to stir up jealousy and insecurities. If you’re finding it hard to talk about the idea, there’s no way you’re going to handle the reality of your other half having sex with somebody else.
During the course of your preliminary discussions, you and your partner may realize that you’re both simply looking to experiment sexually. You don’t necessarily have to do this independently.
Maybe you’d better off introducing a third party into your sexual antics. If you do want to experiment with additional partners, make sure you’re not drafting in a third party from your social circle. Swinging groups are a good place to seek out no-strings sex partners. Alternatively, you may want to explore voyeurism. If you’ve got a webcam and reliable broadband connection, live streaming a steamy session might be sufficient to stifle those sexual urges.
Setting Ground Rules
If you do decide that a hall pass is right for you, you’ll need to lay down the law way in advance. It might seem like it’s taking the fun out of things, but without these ground rules in place, you can almost guarantee disagreements down the line.
Be Completely Honest About Your Expectations
This is important. When you first start discussing a hall pass agreement, make sure you’re letting your partner know what you’re aiming to get out of the arrangement. Obviously, sex is the main objective, but you’ll want to be clear about what you’re seeking out that you’re not going from your primary relationship. Don’t use this as an opportunity to deliver a comprehensive list of your partner’s faults and shortcomings. Instead, dress it up with a more positive spin. If you’re coming up against any resistance, use this as a chance to illustrate the benefits of a hall pass to your partner.
Set a Time Limit
If you’re a little unsure about abandoning the framework of a monogamous relationship, placing a time limit on hall passes is a good idea. You could suggest putting a time limit of six months on the agreement. If neither party has cashed in on their hall pass by then, the agreement expires and it’s back to monogamy from that point on.
At this point, you can come back together and discuss the idea again. If both of you have made good on your agreement, you can of course talk about extending the agreement. Even if your dalliances aren’t distracting from your primary relationship, it’s always to renew the hall pass agreement. If extramarital sex is always up for grabs, you’re entering open relationship territory and the potential for damaging infidelity is high.
Is Anyone Fair Game?
If you think that your partner has their eye on someone in particular, granting them a hall pass is never a good idea. You’re pretty much giving them the green light to chase a sexual encounter with a long-standing crush. They get what they want and you end up feeling hurt and betrayed. Even if you don’t suspect that your other half has someone in mind, it’s worth ironing out some ground rules about who can be approached.
As a rule, anyone from their social circle is prohibited. Some people may be comfortable with their partner seeking sex with a casual acquaintance, but just make sure it’s not a mutual one. Even if they pursue sex on a one off basis, the encounter could come up again in conversation, bringing old wounds to the surface.
You may also want to lay out some rules regarding age. A couple in their forties may use a hall pass to pursue sex with younger people. However, if one partner secures a hookup with a much younger person, it can lead to feelings of insecurity in their other half. To make life easier, outline a cutoff point that states your wife or husband isn’t allowed to pursue sex with anyone under a certain age.
Furthermore, consider the limits of experimentation when giving the okay to a hall pass. Some partners may use a hall pass to explore the limits of their sexuality. If you’re fine with the idea of your spouse exploring same-sex experiences, this is okay. However, if there’s any doubt in your mind that such exploration will lead to complications, don’t be afraid to be rigid when it comes to laying down rules.
Be Responsible
If you’re having intimate encounters with anyone other than your spouse, safe sex is a must. Sexually transmitted infections are no laughing matter. You might both have agreed to a hall pass, but passing on a long-lasting venereal disease is really going to sour the experience.
If you haven’t been sexually intimate with anyone other than your spouse for some time, you might not have much of a clue about STI risk. Do your research to see what kind of diseases you need to be looking out for and how best to protect against them. Sometimes, simply having the male partner wear a condom isn’t going to be sufficient.
Even if you’ve practiced safe sex, it makes sense to get screened for STIs after the fact. Make sure both you and your spouse do this after you’ve made good on your hall pass arrangement. You can attend the clinic at the same time in the spirit of openness or schedule your own appointment.
Debriefing and Renegotiation
Not every couple who agrees to a hall pass will want to come together and discuss how things went. It can make for awkward conversation but ultimately, you’ll do yourself a favor in the long run.
If you take a vow of silence, doubts and uncertainties can fester. Your partner may wonder how they measure up to the person you had sex with. Minor issues at home can plant further seeds of doubt. Perhaps you refuse sex one night because of a headache. In their mind, you’re refusing sex because they fall way short of what you experienced outside of the marital bed.
Sitting down and discussing how things went can prove cathartic for both parties. You don’t need to give a blow-by-blow account, but it’s worth not skimping on the details. Some couples may find talking about what they experienced sexually titillating. In fact, it may lead to you decide that you’d like to extend the agreement with a renewed hall pass.
If you do decide to take things further, reassess the rule book. Maybe this time it’s okay for you and your partner to pursue multiple encounters. Perhaps now you can indulge in other sex acts with your hall pass partners. You may even decide that the hall pass concept is too limiting. If an open relationship seems like a better fit, consider giving this a trial run.
Is it Time for a Hall Pass Agreement?
A lot of people find themselves fantasizing about having sex with other people at some point. Many of us never act on these fantasies, but the urge still remains. A hall pass is a practical way for people to explore their sexual desires, without causing too much damage to their main situation. Provided you’re upfront with your partner and entering into a mutual agreement, it’s a low-impact way of playing the field, without causing any strife at home.
However, hall passes shouldn’t be taken lightly. You’re still going to be having sex with someone who isn’t your spouse. Take the time to talk everything out well in advance. Set limits and lay down ground rules. Once you’ve done the deed, make sure you’re discussing how it all went down with your other half. If things went well, you may be in a position to continue the experiment further. If it didn’t, maybe non monogamy isn’t right for you and you should embrace the perks of a committed romantic relationship instead.
I’m a pragmatist. Finding women to have an affair with is tough enough but being able to cheat on your wife and get away with it is an art. And when you’re seeing one or multiple women, it’s pretty tough to remember all those names and not accidentally spit the wrong name out at the worst of times. Saying babe has always been my get out of jail card, because I call everyone from my wife to my affair partners babe.
But before writing this piece, I cast my mind back to when I was single and hitting on women and started to make a mental note of why I used to call the ladies babe even then.
Below Is Why I’ve Always Done It (Mostly Over Text)
1) Being in the friend zone is the worst place to be. It’s awful. It’s like being cast into the wilderness and when I’m with my friends discussing their dating life, it’s not uncommon for the teasing to begin once they realise that they’ve been put in the friend zone. I’ve always been aware of this, and in my early days have been placed there before. And having experienced it, I would consciously make sure that right off the bat, the ladies I was chatting with knew that friendship wasn’t on the table. I had enough friends. Women are so intelligent that when they want to put you in friendzone, they don’t quite say, ‘hey I’m moving you there.’ They say it subtly and say things like ‘you’re like a brother to me.’
Kill me know I’d think. So after having heard that a couple of times, I used to make sure that I’d start using the phrase babe very early on. If they ever questioned it I’d always reply with ‘I call all my female friends babe.’ Of course this wasn’t true, but I set the tone from day 1. And that was I was chasing her. I was into her and it was my subtle way of saying I wanted her.
2) I like to please women. I suppose most men love the chase and I’m no different. From many conversations, there’s something quite strange that came up. And that’s that women loved to be called babe. Maybe they’d pick different words, but they loved the comfort it gave them, they loved how it made them feel and they loved how the attention.
Whilst of course some women were like ‘don’t call me babe’. Many of the ones I chased never even questioned it, they just liked it. And if for whatever reason we’d get into a fight and I stopped saying it, they’d start to ask why I stopped. It made them feel warm and fuzzy and I liked that.
3) It’s a term of endearment. There’s no denying it’s a nice phrase. It’s not tacky or undermining. There are so many tacky words that you woman have been called and I’ve always found, then even when I start a relationship with whomever I’m chasing, I still call them babe. Sure in part it’s so that I don’t screw up and get caught, but long before I was married, long before I saw affair partners, I always used the term babe.
In fact, once I was in a relationship, I used to call them babe or better yet baby. I’m a loving person, I’m tactile. I like being affectionate. And if I can do that with words as well as actions then at least I feel like I’m being congruent.
What does it mean when a guy calls you babe?
To put it plainly, it means he likes you. It’s his way of ensuring that you know he likes you. A guy wouldn’t call his sister babe, or his sisters friends babe, unless of course they lived in Essex, England. But it’s said so that women know he’s interested. It’s a whole lot easier than saying ‘I like you‘.
It’s our version of being subtle. And whilst it’s not so subtle, you’ve got to read between the lines. If a guy worked for a female boss, the last thing on earth he’d ever call her is babe. Unless of course he’s looking to get fired.
Is It OK To Call A Girl You’re Not Dating Babe
Let’s for a moment ignore the fact that I use the word babe very strategically. The question of is it ok to call a girl that you’re not seeing babe is entirely up to you. Introduce it early and make it seem normal. Never discuss it, unless she brings it up. If she takes issue with it, then of course it’s not at all ok to call her babe or anything else she doesn’t like. But get it in early and use it often. Use it on the phone, via text and in person and before long, she’ll miss when you don’t say it.
Babe Vs Baby
If I’m honest, I think it’s not right to call a lady you’re not seeing baby. Baby has a stronger meaning behind it, almost assuming she’s yours already. In fact using it without being in a relationship is simply going to make you come across as a little bit presumptuous and very sleazy.
Final Words
I’ve always used the word babe. You could argue perhaps too strategically but I’ve always done it because most women have loved it (in my experience.) But if you’re a female reading this, rest assured it’s his way of saying he likes you. And what women don’t understand is that men, when it comes to dating, suffer from 2 things above all:
Recently, it turns out there’s also now the trauma that most men face when it comes to picking out outfits for a first date.
And so whilst this is something many of us do work on, understand that we also have our own subtle ways of showing you how much we like you. And saying babe is most definitely one of them.
Signs a Female Coworker Likes You But is Hiding It
Office romances aren’t always ideal, but if you struggle to get out and mingle with the opposite sex, they’re a great place to meet interested women. However, they’re a little more complicated than everyday relationships. Arguably the most difficult part of an office romance is working out whether or not a female coworker likes you or not. You might think you’re a body language expert, but you probably know how to look for the most obvious signs that’ someone’s interested in you.
Deciding whether or not a female coworker is interested in you is difficult. Obviously, working out whether she’s interested or not is essential if you want to pursue a relationship. However, you also need to know whether you’re misreading innocent behavior as something else. Make the wrong move and you run the risk of landing yourself in hot water with HR and becoming the focus of office gossip.
Is She Interested?
Do you have your eye on a female colleague or think you might be the target of her affection? Don’t be too surprised if there’s a genuine attraction simmering away. People spend more time with their coworkers than they do with their friends and family. During busy spells, the camaraderie you establish with colleagues can cement relationships. As you spend time with colleagues, you share intimate details and talk about interests and passions. All this conversation can stoke the fires of romance, providing the perfect foundation for a relationship.
Wondering whether you’re dealing with a genuine spark? If she’s asking you personal questions and going out of her way to spend time with you, take this as a good sign. However, there are far more subtle signs that will help you determine whether or not she’s romantically interested in you, or simply being friendly.
Obvious Signs a Female Coworker is Interested
No two women are the same, so identifying signs a female coworker likes you but is hiding it can prove a challenge. However, most women interested in pursuing a relationship with you are going to be leaning on the same behaviors. Need some help identifying those telltale signs? Read on for our guide on what you need to watch out for and how to deal with it.
She’s Asking Questions About Your Personal Life
Let’s start with one of the most obvious signs that a female colleague is looking to take things further. Is she asking you about your home life? Have you been asked questions about your relationship status? Sometimes, these questions are innocent enough. If you’ve been thrown together to work on a new account or complete a project, she may just be trying to break the ice.
Is she being coy when asking about your home life? If she doesn’t outright ask you if you’re involved with someone, she probably doesn’t want to look like she’s fishing for information. If she’s keeping her guard up, it could be an indication that she’s scoping you out.
These questions can keep on coming, long after you’ve made it clear you’re involved with someone outside of the office. If she’s particularly keen, she may be looking for fault lines that can be exposed and exploited. If you’re up for indulging in an office romance, this shouldn’t be a problem. However, if you’re happy enough at home and want to keep unwanted attention at bay, look out for these probing questions.
She’s Finding Excuses to Work With You
If someone is going out of their way to spend more time with you, there’s a strong chance they’re romantically or sexually interested in you. This sign is easier to spot in certain workplaces. If you’re based in a co-working space and regularly need to collaborate with other people, she might make an effort to be placed on your team. She might suggest you work together on special projects.
Again, make sure you’re not dealing with innocent attention. It may be the case that she values your professional expertise and wants your input on a specific assignment. You’ll know soon enough what her intentions are once you start working together. If you quickly veer from briefs and the work requirement isn’t there, you’re almost certainly dealing with someone who has made an effort to steal time with you.
If you’re employed in a business where coworking isn’t the standard, this kind of behavior is far easier to spot. In fact, it can be very obvious. You need to be wary about how other colleagues are viewing this. If you’re currently involved and open to the idea of a workplace affair, just bear in mind that your colleagues are going to be observing these exchanges.
She’s Inviting You to Social Events
This is another of the many signs a female coworker likes you but is hiding it. Female colleagues regularly use this as an excuse to spend time with a guy they’re interested in. By inviting a man to a shared social event, there’s less suspicion placed on them. What’s more, it’s a safe space and takes the action outside of the radius of office gossip.
Once again, you need to take a step back and determine whether a social invite is an innocent act or something more. Most colleagues socialize with each other during the week, especially during the holiday season, or to celebrate milestones at work. Have you been asked to attend leaving drinks for an outgoing employee? Don’t be too suspicious about this invite. Have you been asked to join a night out to celebrate the landing of a new account? There’s nothing untoward about this.
That being said, you might not realize anything strange is going on until you actually arrive at the social event. Just because she’s told you several people from the office are going, doesn’t mean they’ll actually turn up. If you arrive to find it’s just you and her, you’ve been duped. Likewise, if you’re arriving to find a group of people made up of strangers, she’s probably engineered the encounter to avoid office gossip.
If you’ve just joined a new company, receiving invites to social events is pretty typical. Don’t be too cautious when accepting these invites during your probationary period. You’ll quickly get a feel of the place and be able to read the vibe of the person doing the inviting.
She’s Sabotaging Your Interactions With Other Women
Now we’re entering red flag territory. You can read a lot into a woman’s intentions by the way she responds to your interactions with other female coworkers. Have you been receiving some side-eye action after talking to female colleagues who aren’t her? If you’re only dealing with someone with an innocent crush, you don’t have too much to worry about. However, if a female colleague is harboring deep feelings for you, just talking to another woman can cause huge problems for you in the office.
If you have a feeling someone has their eye on you and wants to pursue things with them, you can use your interactions with other women as a litmus test. Look out for stolen glances as you chat with a female colleague at the water cooler. If you spot more than a couple of these, there’s a strong chance she’s getting jealous about you spending even a slither time with the other members of the opposite sex.
However, you need to be careful when dealing with the jealous type. If your colleague is sitting on feelings for you and they haven’t been reciprocated, there’s always the chance she’s going to go out of her way to cause trouble. If she’s developing a complex about a particular woman you’ve been interacting with, she may go out of her way to make life difficult for them. If she’s talking trash about them to other people, it’s probably a ploy to drive a wedge between the two of you. A jealous colleague may also seek to sabotage work projects and assignments to reflect badly on you and the person she sees as competition.
She’s Letting Her Body Language Do the Talking
When it comes to body language, you have a lot to draw on when looking for signs a female coworker is interested in you. A simple smile could be a dead giveaway that a woman is interested in you, but is too shy to take the next step. That being said, sometimes a smile is just a smile. Is she flashing a grin at everyone she passes in the office? The chances are this is just a way of saying hello. However, if you’re the only one receiving the smile treatment, take it as a sign that she’s got her eyes set solely on you. If she’s nervous when smiling or saying hi to you, this is another good indicator that she’s sitting on romantic feelings.
A more confident colleague isn’t going to be shy about using more obvious body language to let you know how they feel. Physical contact is a clear sign that someone’s interested in you. During a conversation, there’s no real need for someone to go out of their way to make contact with you. A friendly pat or casual slap may find its way into an innocent exchange. At first glance, this seems meaningless, but if she’s itching to get to know you, these touches are loaded.
Take note of any accidental contact as well. Is she brushing up against you way too often? Does she always seem to be navigating those tight corridors when you’re in the vicinity? This could be an attempt to get close to you.
A little physical contact can be fun, but don’t get up in the thrill of this. If you don’t intend to pursue things with a colleague, you’re essentially leading them on for a cheap thrill. If they have it bad for you, those fleeting touches will mean a great deal to them. Let the pot simmer for long enough and you could be encouraging more erratic behavior down the line.
She’s Giving You Gifts
It’s not unusual for colleagues to give each other little gifts from time to time. However, when you find surprises left on your desk you weren’t expecting, you could be entering crush territory. If a colleague is leaving you gifts a little too often, step back and consider the nature of your relationship. If you’re only casual acquaintances, there’s really no call for gift-giving unless it’s your birthday or you’ve had some bad news and you need cheering up. Even then, it’s unusual for someone you don’t really know to make the effort.
Sometimes, a colleague who has it bad for you will go out of their way to treat you without drawing too much attention to themselves. Keep your eyes peeled during the holiday season. Most workplaces will organize a Secret Santa exchange. If a woman has their eyes on you, they’ll do everything they can to pull your name from the lot.
It’s not just gifts you need to watch out for. Little notes and surprises can find their way onto your desk too. These might be innocent enough, but try and acknowledge them as quickly as possible. You don’t want to start some secretive exchange with the other person. If you want to make good on the relationship, just approach them. If things are making you uncomfortable, politely let them know you’re not interested or off the market.
She’s Dishing Out Too Many Compliments
Everyone loves hearing compliments aimed at them. However, most of us don’t pay too much thought to them beyond the immediate ego boost. For a coworker with a crush, however, compliments are a go-to tool in their arsenal.
Have you just paid a visit to the barber? The chances are high that you’ll get a few compliments on your new look when you’re next in the office. However, if one colleague goes out of her way to shower you with positivity, consider this a sign she’s interested in the whole package.
We all dish out compliments from time to time, but there’s a difference between a sincere compliment and a hollow one. Is a female coworker lauding you for something incredibly trivial? She’s probably going out of her way to find things to comment on. The reason for this? She wants you to know she notices you and appreciates you. If you’re interested, you shouldn’t be afraid of starting a volley. Firing back a compliment to her is a fuss-free way of letting her know you’ve got your eye on them too.
She’s Revealing Way Too Much Information
Once a coworker has managed to secure some alone time with you, they’ll probably start revealing information about their private life to you. Some women (and men for that matter) love to gossip. Make sure not just on the receiving end of chatter before deciding you’re being buttered up for a romantic entanglement.
If you’re spending time with a female colleague and they’re unpacking a lot of personal information, consider the contents before deciding whether or not you’re dealing with someone with a crush. Is she talking about family problems? This is probably innocent enough. Is she talking about vacation plans? Everybody does. However, if she’s waxing lyrical about how an ex-boyfriend messed her around in the past, she may be probing you to gauge your interest.
Of course, some women are far less reserved in the stuff they’ll come out with in conversation. If she has no inhibitions, she may start talking about intimate details, sexual preferences, and more. This kind of conversation isn’t always targeted, but it’s often a sign that someone is looking to pique your interest.
Sometimes, things are more complicated. A woman may simply be looking to make an emotional connection with someone. The fact that you’re a man is secondary to that. You could be dealing with something strictly platonic. However, these emotional connections can evolve into something more. Over time, those supportive conversations can blossom into a romantic interest. It’s often a healthy way for office romances to catch fire and these dynamics usually result in stronger relationships.
She’s Putting More Effort into Her Appearance
This sign is easier to spot than others, but it only usually becomes apparent once someone has started to take an interest in you. If you’ve recently been paired up with a female coworker and she’s started to dress differently, she may be going out of her way to make an impression.
Sometimes, a woman upping her fashion game has nothing to do with the opposite sex. If however, she’s investing a lot of effort into her appearance, it could be an indicator that she’s looking for compliments and wants you to notice her. It’s not just clothes that are a giveaway. She might be wearing a new fragrance or changing up her cosmetics.
A new look could be just that. She might also be getting dressed up to head to a social event after work. When in doubt, ask her if she’s got something planned that evening. If the answer is now, you could be looking at a clear sign that she likes you, but wants to let her looks do the talking.
She’s Done Her Homework
Does it seem like a coworker knows more about you than they should? If a woman has a romantic interest in you, she’s probably done her homework. Maybe she’s asked around the office about your background and interests. It’s also pretty easy for someone to jump online and browse social media platforms to get some information about you.
Most of us turn to Facebook to get a little more detail about someone we’re interested in. Most of the time, it’s innocent enough. However, if she’s become something of a cyberstalker, you should approach her with caution. This kind of background-checking behavior doesn’t always make for a healthy relationship. What’s more, if you’re not actually interested in them, you can feel like you’re under siege.
If you suspect that someone is using social media and online channels to discover insights about you, consider planting some false flags. You could even create a dummy profile and load it with content. If they’re looking you up online, they’re almost certain to drop something into the conversation to demonstrate that you have shared interests. If you want to take the bait, now’s the time to do it. Hopefully, they’ll navigate away from stalking you online and be more direct when it comes to getting to know you instead.
She’s Sending You Mixed Signals
Women are complicated creatures. Just because she’s got it bad, doesn’t mean she’s always going to be positive in her outlook toward you. One minute she could be showering you with compliments and sharing inside jokes, the next she’s frosty as a snowman and giving you the cold shoulder.
This kind of behavior isn’t just typical of a temperamental colleague. It should suggest that she’s besotted with you. People act crazy when they’re in a relationship and they can still bring emotional baggage to a one-sided one.
She might be quietly furious with you because you’ve not complimented her on a change in her appearance. Maybe she’s spent time getting clued up about something you’re interested in, only for you not to engage with her in conversation. Although you’ve not done anything wrong yourself, they could see it as a slight. Mixed signals are a staple of conventional relationships and, unfortunately, they’re par for the course when it comes to crushes as well.
Other People Are Taking Note
You don’t have to be a relationship expert yourself to notice that someone in the workplace has their eye on you. If someone is into you that much, other people will notice this behavior as well. Has a work friend dropped a comment that someone has been acting strangely around you? Are other women in the office talking about a change in someone’s behavior? If you socialize with your coworkers, don’t dismiss these kinds of insights.
Is the Attraction Mutual?
Once you’ve determined that someone is interested in you, take a step back and consider what you want to do next. If you’re seeing someone else and don’t want to carry on an affair, it’s best to put the dampers on things. You have a couple of options here. The easiest way to bring things to a close is to quietly point out to your besotted coworker that you’re involved with someone else and not in a position to pursue a relationship with them. However, this won’t always go down well. They may accuse you of misreading the signals to save face. If they feel slighted enough, they may even take things up with HR to land you in hot water.
A safer option is to simply pull away from interactions with the coworker in question. Keep things strictly professional at times. This means dispensing with anything close to a compliment and avoiding social interactions with them outside of the workplace. It also means avoiding one-on-one interactions with them. Sometimes, you may be forced to work alongside the other person. If you can’t quietly request an alternative assignment, try and limit the time you spend with them as much as possible.
Interested in pursuing a romance with your married coworker? Some guys enjoy being chased and revel in the attention. While it can do your ego the world of good, the longer you let someone quietly crush on you, the more complicated things can become. It’s not the healthiest way to start a relationship. If you don’t formalize things quickly, you need to be wary of your general interactions with other colleagues. This means limiting the time you spend talking to female coworkers and managing your interactions with women in general. If you’re interested and the attraction is mutual, act on it.
Is an Office Romance a Good Idea?
Office romances are incredibly common. More than half of people report being open to the idea of a workplace romance, while more than a third of people have had a one-night stand with someone they work with. However, if you’re a committed professional, pursuing a relationship with a colleague might not be the best idea. It can disrupt your everyday working life, especially if you work within the same department.
What’s more, a breakup is going to really complicate matters. If the breakup is a messy one, you may find working life unbearable. Do you really want to transfer to another branch or pursue a brand new position entirely? Even if you remain with your employer, you can pretty much forget about pursuing office romances with other women in the future.
It’s interesting to me that people still use the word mistress. Nowadays, it’s been replaced by the phrase affair partner. Maybe because there’s no word for a male mistress. But to save you time and energy to dig out the answer, I can tell you right now, it’s all the time. When I had a mistress/affair partner – I thought about her all the time.
How Often Does A Married Man Think About His Mistress
In fact I couldn’t stop thinking about her. There’s something about the forbidden that’s just so intoxicating. We used secret channels to communicate and I would be like a high school child, checking my phone all the time to see if she had replied.
We want our cake and we want to eat it too. Having a strong relationship with my wife is what gives me the confidence to go out and cheat (as counter intuitive as that sounds). But having a strong marriage and seeing other women is literally the definition of having your cake and eating it.
And in that journey of cheating, sometimes you’ll meet a woman that you become completely infatuated by, maybe even worse – you fall in love. Having strong feelings for other women that come into your life can be totally dangerous. Almost debilitating.
When affairs turn to love
I stupidly fell in love with my last affair partner. Head over heels in love with her. I never called her my mistress, but she was married as well but her husband, whilst a nice guy, was dull. What she wanted was some excitement in her life. And to her, the answer was me.
Like me she loved being married, but understood it was possible to develop feelings for someone else. And once things got serious between us, our relationship grew stronger and stronger. We were talking all the time and the affair was getting quite intense. She was constantly thinking about me and I was her.
Married Men Take Their Wives For Granted
It’s not uncommon that married men can take their wife for granted. And her husband was just like this. Their marriage was strong but he was taking her for granted a lot. There were quite a few signs that his behaviour was never going to change – and whilst she accepted it, she needed some sort of thrill.
Our feelings for each other grew to the point where we were completely in love.
And despite us talking all the time and constantly messaging each other throughout the day, like non stop, I still thought about her all the time.
Why Do Married Men Think About Their Affair Partners All The Time?
Married guys live pretty monotonous lives. Despite starting off their marriage being wildly in love, chances are ten years later, the feeling of in love has just been replaced by regular old love. And with kids, life and work – it’s a fair assumption to say they live pretty monotonous lives. I mean isn’t that true of most people?
The point about having an affair partner is that it’s exciting. It’s like having this secret that no one knows about and yet you want to shout about it from the rooftops. You want to show her picture to your closest of friends and watch them melt endlessly with jealousy.
You just can’t.
But this excitement is why so many of us have affairs. Being single and seeing multiple women just wouldn’t have the same buzz.
So to iterate on some of my points above, we think about our mistress all the time. We want to talk to them all the time, we want to be with them all the time, we just can’t get enough. I would liken it to having a crush on someone. There’s a certain level of infatuation that takes over.
My Current Affair Partner
I’ve recently started seeing someone new. She’s a journalist, she’s hilarious and I just can’t get enough. I’m completely besotted by her and at every opportunity I’m messaging her. She’s single (and knows I’m a married man) and typically answers my messages almost instantaneously. I’ll constantly look for excuses to carve out a few minutes, even when I’m home (fake visits to the toilet, etc..) – to just check in with her.
I’ll generally send one of my cheeky but charming messages:
I sensed you were thinking about me, just wanted to check in and say X
That’s it. Of course the sarcasm and irony comes through and gets an equally funny response:
What makes you believe I was thinking about you and not the pile of washing that I need to tend X
And on and on the banter would go, back and forth. Whether I’m at work, at the gym or sometimes at home, I can’t get her out of my head. I can’t stop myself thinking about her. I’m mentally planning our next date, the restaurant, the hotel, the cover-up – I’m figuring it all out.
The Real Question
There’s a strong possibility that given the title of this blog, logic would tell me that the 2 type of people who are reading this are:
i) someone having an affair and in the same boat as me, wildly think about his mistress
ii) a wife, someone who has either caught or suspects their husband is seeing someone else.
The Married Man Having An Affair
If you are having an affair and are wondering if it’s normal to be spending more time thinking about your mistress than your life – then I get it. Don’t worry. It’s totally normal.
I’ve been there. I am there right now. However I will say this, if you are thinking about your affair partner a lot, if and when you go through a breakup, I can tell you from experience, that this too will weigh on your mind and occupy your thoughts for a long while.
It works both ways. And if you’re foolish enough to fall in love with her, then that breakup is going to be even harder to deal with.
Wife Reading
If you are a wife reading this post – as sad and hard as this is to understand, thinking about one’s mistress is normal. It’s normal for him to think about his mistress. You can’t legislate his thoughts. If you’re sure he’s seeing someone else, then address the bigger problem. Get help, see a therapist and deal with the matter head on.
First World Married Man Problems
I like attention. It’s pathetic but true. I need it, I crave it and quite often I shower my affair partners with attention like they’ve never had. And why? Not because I love doing it, thought I’m great at it, but because some twisted part of me feels that by giving so much, I’ll start to get some back.
Having an affair is going to lead you down a rollercoaster of emotions. You’ll feel things that you haven’t felt in years. From butterflies in your stomach to being reminded of what heartbreak feels like. So as I always say, do meditation. Learn to manage your state as best as you can, if not – you’re going to get caught out.
I wish there was an answer. The right answer. That would stop you letting your imagination run away with you, but I don’t. In fact I’ve told you quite the opposite. And that is if you are a married man having these thoughts, it’s ok. It’s normal.
The truth is when you think about how often does a married man think about his mistress, the actual question should be, when doesn’t a married man think about his affair partner. A married man can’t help himself.
But there’s so many different types of cheating. Not all cheating is physical. Some can be emotional, some micro, others can be one night stands, office flings, texting an old-ex and everything in between.
All of which I’ve tried. However, I’ve come to appreciate that for me, the best form of cheating is having an affair, and ideally with someone who is married (this way they have as much to lose as I do).
Affairs Are The Pinnacle Of Cheating
There’s something about that girlfriend experience that beats all the other forms of cheating. And whilst it is deep and more emotionally involved, there’s a level of maturity to an affair that a one night stand just doesn’t have.
Hearing patients who have been cheated on, day in day out, had really taken its toll on him. He went on to tell me that the worst type of cheating was the affair. He explained that in his experience, a wife could forgive an office fling or a drunken one night stand; but what they can never get over is the betrayal of an affair. Not because of the sex, no, because of the emotional cheating. That emotional connection with another woman, that emotional intimacy, would break her more than knowing you were in bed together.
Emotional Infidelity
Whilst we have talked about this and micro cheating in past blogs, there’s something for me that’s very profound about being emotionally connected with an affair partner. It makes the relationship better and it sure as hell makes the sex better. And let’s be honest here, it’s nice to actually have deep and meaningful chats with a beautiful woman without her reminding you when to pick up the kids or to take the trash out.
There’s many reasons why men cheat, but married men who have affairs have been known to hook up with whomever is the lowest hanging fruit – which is why office romances and trysts are rampant. Most of them never get to have full blown affairs.
What I Learnt About Myself
There’s 2 huge things I learnt about myself over the last 10 years:
1) I prefer affairs over all other forms of cheating. By a long shot.
2) It’s so much easier to say to your affair partner that you’re married, and if they are too they’ll get it. They’ll respect the time you need to spend with your family without getting jealous and will know their place in your life automatically. Just as I know my place in their world.
3) There’s a maturity to it all which you can’t put into words, but I now understand more than ever why so many French Politicians have full time mistresses. Many of whom have told their wife; which is perhaps one step too far for me.
Advantages Of Having Affairs
1) They know the score. You’re married, they’re married – everyone has to keep their mouths shut.
2) Given she knows you’re married too, she’s never going to show up to your house and turn your life upside down.
3) It’s like dating and having a girlfriend all over. It’s exciting.
4) The conversations are much deeper.
5) The sex is so much better.
6) There’s no nagging.
7) They’re less needy.
The Disadvantages Of Affairs
1) It can get too emotional. Affairs can turn to love so quickly, sneak up on you and bite you in the ass before you even realise.
In the early days, when I was on the hunt for a cheating partner, anyone would do. Beggars can’t be choosers. I’m married, I have kids – I needed to just take what I could get. In those days, these were mostly flings and one night stands.
And yes, they were great. Like super great. I’m hardly complaining that I had sex with a bunch of hot women – no sir.
But they were emotionless, robotic and had short lived. My sex life would thank them, but not my brain. These meaningless relationships (if you could even call them that) just weren’t aligned with my personality.
I love learning from people and once they’re out of your life within a week (or sometimes 24hrs) – it’s hard to build that relationship into that.
My Last Affair
My last affair was amazing. She was a doctor, drop dead stunning, intelligent and I loved her to pieces. I truly loved her with all of my heart. She was the first affair partner I ever had that made me consider leaving my wife. We would debate against one another, share common interests, laugh together and learn together. I would encourage her with some of her projects and she would support me in the things I was doing.
We were perfect partners.
And of course like any relationship, we would also argue and stop talking to each other for days. Yet somehow, we managed to get past all of that and would always run back to each other. Sometimes in the moments we weren’t talking, we’d see it as a sign to reflect and wonder whether or not what we were doing was right. Often our fights would serve as a red flag, to the cheating. The bold faced cheating.
The Beginning Of The End
Sadly, one day, she started to pull back a little. I was the first person she’d ever had an affair with and I could just sense something strange was happening. She’d read messages and not reply, she’d call me less, our calls were shorter and lacking in romance. It was clear that this was the beginning of the end. Our arguing increased and I was struggling to deal with the new reality.
I kept asking her if this was over, but I knew it was heading that way. She was feeling more and more guilty each day and was struggling to look her own children in the eye. She’d also stopped having orgasms whilst having sex with her own husband. It was going to be obvious soon if it wasn’t already that she was up to something. There was simply no point in continuing.
We don’t talk. Which is a shame but also a blessing. There was going to be no happy ending to this situation. And as much as I find myself sometimes feeling anger towards her for pulling back, for distancing from me – I remind myself of how much good came from being together. How amazing the good times truly were, how much I learnt, how much I felt love and being loved again. She was the best affair partner I’d ever have and I’d do anything to have that back again.
But sadly, it is true, sometimes good things do come to an end and not everything lasts forever. What we had, when we had it was the best. The possibility of it ever happening again are less than zero and even knowing that is a blessing.
Since Then
Since then I’ve had a string of flings and one night stands. But none of them have even come close to having an affair.
The right affair partner is almost like having the perfect girlfriend. They boost your confidence and they truly are there for you every step of the way. I’ve heard of some affairs lasting for years and years, and after having had quite a few affairs, I can actually see how that’s possible.
People assume that people like me cheat just for the sex. That we simply aren’t getting it at home and so we go out hunting. That’s a completely unfair assumption.
The actual truth is many of us cheat because there’s something about getting that attention exclusively from someone that is absolutely so undeniably addictive.
Warning About Affairs
If you’re the type of person that already cheats but is just in it for the sex, then this article really isn’t for you. But if you are looking to take your cheating to the next level, then you are 100% my target audience.
But be warned. I’ve had 2 amazing affairs in the last 3 years. They were truly incredible. Like going out with my first ever girlfriend incredible. However, with all that happiness, when it all goes wrong, the breakups are just awful. And it will feel like someone has ripped your heart out off your chest and shattered it into a million little pieces.
Now you may think it’s worth it; thinking that going through that pain is worth having the amazing feeling that an affair brings. And for people like me it’s definitely worth it and been worth it – every time.
But what you have to ask yourself is this, whilst going through a breakup, are you still able to go home and act normal around your wife and kids without attracting attention? Now I wish I had a tip, trick or strategy to making that part easier – but I’m also lost here.
For me, the end of every affair is emotionally draining, yet somehow, I have to go home and play the happy husband and dad, because if I don’t, it’s going to be obvious. As if breakups aren’t hard enough. And remember you can’t share it with anyone (other than maybe a therapist), which I’ve never done. But you can’t tell your friends, you can’t tell your work mates, and of course you can NEVER tell your wife.
You simply suffer in silence.
Are You Ready For An Affair?
If you think you are ready for having an affair, be sure to play it all the way through in your mind. Of course it’s like being on cloud nine. But at some point even the best affairs end, and do so abruptly and badly.
And when I look back at my last 2 affair partners, what I miss the most, more than the chats and the sex and the laughter, is the emotional intimacy.
I didn’t know what to expect when I started down the sexual affairs route. I used to love my flings. I thought my future would be flings and one night stands only. And whilst that did happen often, they were unfulfilling. No one prepared me for what a life of emotional affairs and intimacy would look or feel like.
No one warned me that feelings would even be involved. That people would get hurt.
My Advice About Having Affairs
So here is my advice, if you ever consider having an affair, please read this post again. Please take into account the pitfalls as well as the highs. Committed relationships with an affair partner isn’t always for everyone. When looking outside your marriage, some people like variety and a primary relationship with just one person may not even be appealing.
However in real life, it’s easy to get sucked into an affair. It can make you reckless and arrogant and lead to suspicious behavior and raise suspicions at home.
My gut feeling has always been the thing that I follow in my life. And whilst I’ve always had plenty of short term flings, that’s never really done it for me. I’ve never really wanted to make more effort with someone I had a one night stand with, but for the perfect affair partner I’d go to the ends of the earth.
It’s a beautiful thing and if you’re ever lucky enough to find someone that gives you all the things that are missing from you life and fills you with happiness and makes you want to spend time with them, like all the time – then by all means, go for it. Just be careful. And know, after it’s all over, it’s hard.
Approach anxiety is actually a thing – it’s almost a phobia. That said, I never realised it had a term. The best definition I found online said:
Approach anxiety is an irrational fear which can stop you from engaging in conversation with strangers. It causes you to overthink and therefore, fear most interactions. The root of the issue can stem from inexperience, low self-esteem, past negative experiences, or the overall inability to turn off the racing thoughts in our head. While approach anxiety usually used in regards to relationships and dating world, it can be applied to a large majority of social circumstances as well.
And if this is something you have, then I promise you this is the article for you. We’ve helped tons of men get over this quite easily, and whilst it’s not something I have myself, I actually witnessed it firsthand just the other day. I got to see how crippling it was for someone so confident that I was shocked.
Just The Other Day
Just the other day, I was on a boy’s night out. I was with 6 good friends, some of them married, some single and a couple of them divorced. An eclectic bunch and whenever we’re together, it’s always a big night. Lots of booze, lots of laughter and a lot of chatting about women – typical guy stuff.
We’re sat at the back of this bar and a couple of tables away sat the most attractive lady. She can’t have been much more than 30 and looked Mediterranean. I was guessing Greek.
There wasn’t a guy in the place that hadn’t seen her. And as each of my friends shuffled in to reach our table, almost all of them said the same thing when they arrived:
‘did you see that girl? how hot is she!’
She sat with a group of people who didn’t really look like friends. I guessed given it was a Friday night, she was probably with her work bunch. It started off large, but as the night went on, their group dwindled until there were only 3 of them left. She was giggling away and would only stop to take her next shot!
One of my friends (single), kept looking at her. He would constantly turn around and just stare. It got to the point that he was making me feel uncomfortable. I couldn’t help myself, I had to say something:
‘bros, just go over there and talk to her. what’s the worst thing that can happen?’
Now this guy is successful, single, good looking, well built and stylish – he has everything going for him, but to my utter surprise he started to reel off the reasons he wouldn’t go over. He would say things like:
‘I’m scared, what if she laughs at me, she’ll just ignore me, her friends will laugh at me …..’
There’s this great scene in the movie Hitch where Will Smith’s character walks over to a stunning lady in a crowded bar surrounded by men, and very artfully pulls her away from them and has her get interested in him. He made it look so easy. And that’s because if you know what you’re doing it really is.
My Turn / My Ego
There’s something about being with a group of guys that when you pull off something epic like that, it’s not just about getting a number or a kiss that’s amazing, it’s about doing it in front of them so you get to keep that legendary status.
Looking like a hero in front of the boys is one of the best feelings in the world. And just from sheer frustration at my friend, it was time to go and be a legend, to show him that even if I didn’t get anywhere, the worst thing that would happen was something I could live with.
And so I did it. I stood up and before I bowled over, I remember saying the cliché line:
‘watch and learn boys.’
Now I’ve never had approach anxiety. I’d been rejected so many times in my teens that I had just become immune to it. I’d learnt to never take it personally and realised anything short of her throwing a drink in my face, I could live with.
As I headed over, I could feel my friends watching me and burning a hole in my back. I almost sensed they wanted to see me crash and burn just for the fact that I gave my friend such a hard time for being a ‘pussy.’
What Happened Next?
As I walked over, our eyes met and I gave her a cheeky smile which she reciprocated by the time I got to her table. I introduced myself to all 3 of them and asked if they were celebrating or if this was just a standard Friday night. They said they were on a work do. I explained that I was on my way to the bar and noticed that they were having shots and if I could get them another round.
They politely declined. I couldn’t have been with them for more than a minute.
I headed over to the bar and bought myself 4 shots and came back with the tray. I never use chat up or cheesy lines. I generally just say what comes to mind, but I was 100% focused on getting her details. So I came back with the tray and said something like:
‘you’re all having such a good time, I just want to be a part of it for a minute’.
They were grateful for the shots and we slammed them together almost immediately. I then looked ‘my lady dead in the eye’ and said:
‘chances are I’ll never see you again and I’m not one for wasted opportunities.’
I handed her my phone and asked if she was on instagram. She smiled and said ‘of course‘. And I said:
‘just stick your details in there and follow yourself please.’
I then had her pull out her phone and accept my friend request.
I didn’t ask for permission, I didn’t ask if she wouldn’t mind giving me her details, I effectively told her just to give them to me. And before I wandered back to my table like an even bigger hero, with my chest puffed out, I told them to come and join us for some more drinks whenever they were free….
Legendary status complete
My friends saw it all and as I headed back the sounds of shouting and banging the table filled the bar. I sat down to an array of compliments and pats on the back. I simply looked at my friend (the one who didn’t go over) and said :
The night ended at 3am and I was on Cloud Nine. Not because I had gotten an attractive lady’s number. No. But because I had done it with ease, class and speed in front of my friends.
Of course, the next day was hell.
The hangover had kicked in and I was feeling sorry for myself. My wife had no sympathy as it was all self inflicted and I found myself almost forced to get back to my kids’ activities and homework, which I dutifully did.
To my surprise, typically I spend the next day thinking about the lady whose details I’d scored. But not this time.
This time, I started to really understand and appreciate the crippling effects approach anxiety had on someone. And whilst I’ve helped loads of guys get over it, witnessing it first hand made me understand just how many amazing women that men were missing out on simply because they just didn’t take that first step (literally and metaphorically).
When I had a moment, I called my friend and decided to have the chat. I asked him why he didn’t go over and he made a valid point:
‘If I was in a group and she was there, I’d have been just fine. I’d have shone and flirted and would have probably got her details, but that fear of rejection…’
And he couldn’t finish his sentence, but it all made sense.
Fear Of Rejection
There’s something about rejection that is just so awful. It’s almost impossible to not take it personally and for many people, can bring up some awful memories and feelings.
As kids not getting to play with certain people, not being invited to a party, not being picked for the right team – it leaves painful scares and a lot of people hate that feeling so much that it impedes them trying new things. It stops them from taking risks and chances, because to hear the word NO can be so destructive.
Believe you me, I’ve been there. I’ve been rejected by women, friends, teams, clubs, jobs, breakups, you name it – I’ve had it all. And each of those times I took it personally, I would think to myself I wasn’t smart enough, cool enough, handsome enough, etc…
It’s almost impossible not to go inside and have your ego shattered and your self worth devalued. I get it!
And yet I got over it, how come others couldn’t?
How To Overcome Approach Anxiety…
If you’ve ever read any of my articles on this site, the one thing you’ll learn about one of my pet hates is that I hate generic advice.
Before even writing this piece I bounced around google to see what advice men offered. In part to find something helpful and non generic that I could send to my friend. And all I could find was utter shit. The internet was filled with just theory and methods that in real life would simply never work.
What’s never ever going to work is tactics and magic chat up lines, or even copying what I said to that lady when I met her. No. And why? It’s because to think that all women are the same way, or all of them respond the same way is just foolish!
Overcoming any anxiety comes from a place of working on yourself. Whether it’s with a coach or through meditation or whatever, the answer lies in how you respond to dealing with rejection.
It’s almost like interrupting the Pavlov’s Dog Theory. So your default reaction isn’t to go inside and feel bad, feel sorry for yourself and devalue yourself. God no. It’s about breaking that habit.
I’m never going to deny that walking over to any woman is hard. But then again so is cold calling, knocking on people’s doors, sales etc.. All of these things require you to have a certain degree of thick skin.
So how do you go about getting over approach aniexty?
Meditation – I’ve noticed that meditation has greatly improved my life. It’s not just been a calming effect. What I noticed, is that one of the most profound effects was that other people’s opinions of me didn’t matter. In the martial arts world, they teach you about being grounded and centred. They teach you that your emotional brain is in your stomach. So when you have extreme responses, you always feel them in your tummy. So start meditating. And I don’t care whether or not this will help you get more women, meditating will improve all aspects of your life and will attract more of what you’re looking for to you.
Feel good – Don’t get it twisted, whether you’ve sold anything in your life or not, when you’re flirting you’re selling yourself. And the simple trick to selling anything, be it a product or a service or even yourself is simply this: illicit a good feeling in your prospect and associate that to yourself or your product/service. And how do you go about doing that? Well it’s about feeling good first. Have you ever been round a group of people or spoken to someone that’s having a good time or laughing away. It’s practically contagious. Here’s a little trick for you; the brain doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined. So if you were to vividly remember what’s it’s like to be on the front of a rollercoaster as it whizzes around the track, your smartwatch would clearly show you that your heart beats would go up. Don’t believe me, try it! And the same is true about feeling good, if you’re not in the best frame of mind, remember a good memory. Stop and remember what it was like, what you heard, saw and felt and just allow that same good feeling to come back. Only when you are in a state of feeling good is it time to make your approach. Every rejection from a woman I ever had, the one thing in common was that I was being mechanical, going through the motions but I wasn’t in the right state. Never underestimate how contagious feeling good is.
Posture / confidence – there are so many studies that have linked good posture to confidence. Always work on your posture. If you have a desk job or are on your phone a lot, the chances are your posture will have taken a bit of a hit. And when you think about all the people who you know in your life that lack confidence, you’ll notice that their posture isn’t great. Good posture makes you feel better, standing taller makes you feel more confident. And to a lot of women, being confident is a turn on. And if you’re reading this and thinking well I’m a shy person – then my response to that is this: be confident about being shy! Always play to your strengths, don’t change your personality to impress someone. So if you’re shy, stand tall and be shy confidently. There’s nothing wrong with shyness, just be the best at it.
Deal With Rejection Better / Don’t take it personally – I’m the first to admit, that even though I see multiple women, many of whom are so far out my league it’s laughable – when those relationships comes to an end, it breaks me. Not for long, but it’s difficult to not take it personally. However when it comes to approaching women at say a bar cold, and you bowl over there feeling good, with the right attitude and posture, and they say no! It’s ok. It’s not personal. They may be busy, dealing with something themselves, be in a relationship, having a bad day at work, etc.. There’s a gazillion reasons why a woman may say no. All gazillion of those reasons may have nothing to do with you at all. It’s just bad timing. But as long as you’re polite and charming, you’re rarely going to get a rude response. All you’ll get is a no. And that’s ok, because you’ll live. You’ve heard plenty of NOs in your life. I’m sure even Brad Pitt has gotten some NO’s. Apparently Leo DiCaprio did hundreds of auditions before he got his first job. But if you’re the type of person that’s scared to hear that word, then you definitely don’t deserve to get the girl’s number. Which brings me swiftly on to my next point:
Dating Is A Numbers Game – Even if you have got it down, it doesn’t mean you’re going to have a 100% success rate. In fact in the dating world, I’ve told all of my clients that if you get to 50/50 you’re in the top 1%. Because that’s a pretty good batting average to have in this game. The fact is dating like sales is a contact sport, meaning the more people you contact, the better your chances.
Perceptive – I’ve always been super perceptive. Even as a kid I would see things that most people didn’t. But when it comes to women, I noticed that like all communication, being observant really paid dividends. And as much as I hate teaching chat up lines or treating all women like they’re the same (cos they’re not, we are all unique), using the phrase, ‘I noticed ….’ worked wonders. Just those 2 words would let them know that I paid attention and they generally felt very flattered. Like in my above story, I made a point of saying ‘I noticed you guys are doing shots, blah blah blah‘…All it said to her was I was paying attention. And whilst I didn’t say anything, I did notice her watch and handbag brand. I did notice she wore her watch on her right hand and took her shots with her left (indicating to me she was a leftie). I noticed it all…. Paying attention pays dividends and you can take that to the bank!
Take Action – Staring gets you nowhere – You have to just take a leap of faith but if you do all of the above, I promise you, it doesn’t matter how it goes, you’ll feel good no matter what. This blog post isn’t about picking up more women, no! It’s about getting over any internal issues you have so you’re indifferent either way. I get numbers from women all the time, I put myself out there, that’s why. But I also get a heap of rejections. And whilst the yes’s make me even happier, the no’s do too. As strange as that sounds it’s true.
Get Help – Don’t think for a second because you’re born or programmed to respond a certain way, it has to be like that forever. If you’re unable to make those internal changes yourself, get some help. Whether it’s from me, or a therapist, or a confidence coach or a meditation class – get the right help to push you in the right direction. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak, it makes you smart and strong! I’m constantly evolving. Each day that goes by, I upgrade myself and improve myself. I’m always learning. And you should too!
So How Did It Go With The Girl
Well, we chatted for a few days back and forth, but very quickly, just from my Instagram account she realised I was married. And she shut it down. I’ve convinced plenty of women to cheat with me, but I made a cardinal error by not saying I was married from the get go. And in her eyes, I was both a liar and an adulterer. Two traits she didn’t want to see in a guy. And that’s ok, because I’m out again next week and I’ll undoubtedly get another number.
Planning a sneaky getaway with your other woman? City breaks are always the best way to go, even if it’s for a solo vacation. New York is without doubt the best of the bunch. The Big Apple might be expensive, but you get what you pay for. With stunning views of this legendary cityscape, not to mention some of the best restaurants and bars in the western hemisphere, you’re spoiled for choice.
Best Hotels in New York to Have Sex
Thinking about earmarking New York for your next getaway? We’ve put together a list of our favorite hotels for affairs, with options to suit every budget.
Mandarin Oriental, New York
If you’re catering to refined tastes, the Mandarin Oriental, New York is the perfect place to set up shop during a weekend away. This is one of the Big Apple’s finest hotels. In fact, it’s the only hotel in NYC to be awarded a five-star review by Forbes. Luxury is the order of the day here. Even most of the rooms are sprawling compared to other accommodations in the city. Meanwhile, there’s a renowned VIP spa suite and plenty of in-room treatment options to ensure your stay goes off with a bang. Treat your other woman to a stay here and you can all but guarantee great sex.
Room Details
If it’s luxury you’re after, Mandarin Oriental will deliver. This premium caters to everyone from business travelers to couples looking for the perfect place to be down for a weekend away. Although some rooms boast better views than others, just about any bedroom in this sprawling hotel delivers the goods when it comes to Central Park vistas and waterside views of the Hudson River.
The good news is that Mandarin Oriental, New York isn’t as expensive as you’d think. A double room offering views over the Hudson River can be picked up for as little as $745 per night. As well as a large double bed, you’ll enjoy access to a separate seating area and a fully appointed bathroom. Furthermore, floor-to-ceiling windows ensure you get the best possible views of the Big Apple.
Want a Central Park view? Expect to pay a little bit more for the privilege. Starting rates for rooms with Central Park aspects are $845 per night. However, this is more than worth it for one of the best views in the city. A large double bed comes as standard, while a bathroom with a separate shower is also included. There’s also some impressive tech on offer here, with a 55-inch LED television and top-of-the-line audio speakers included.
Thinking about upgrading to a suite? You have a couple of options here. You can pick up a suite with a Hudson River view for as little as $1,995 per night. As well as a King bed, you’ll benefit from a living room and powder room. What’s more, suite bathrooms are more spacious than what you’ll find in a typical room, with dual sink fixtures and added amenities. If you’re happy to spend a little bit more on a suite, go with a room with a Central Park view. Rates start at around $2,295 per night.
Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences
Mandarin Oriental, New York won’t let you down if you’re after spa and wellness facilities. The on-site spa includes six separate treatment rooms, with a full pampering menu for you to consider. A five-star experience is guaranteed here, with designer decor and deep tubs throughout. There’s also a VIP Spa Suite for those who want a more memorable experience. For an extra special weekend of sex, think about reserving access to this exclusive suite. You’ll benefit from a private fireplace, your own steam room, and a personal shower.
If you’re looking for dining experiences, book a table at MO Lounge. This on-site establishment offers a full menu of American cuisine throughout the day. What’s more, you’ll find an impressive selection of cocktails to choose from. With unbeatable views of the inspiring NYC skyline, there’s no better place to enjoy a nightcap when you’re taking a break from the bedroom.
Room Service and Extras
If your main goal is to get your end away when staying overnight in New York, in-room dining is a must. Thankfully, Mandarin Oriental delivers first-rate dining experiences, even if you don’t feel like leaving your room. You can opt for an in-room breakfast if you order before 11.30 am, while lunch and dinner are available from noon until 11 pm. Overnight room service is also available, catering to out-of-hours requests.
Location
When you stay at Mandarin Oriental, New York, you’re within close proximity to some of the Big Apple’s most popular landmarks and attractions. The Broadway Theater District is just a couple of minutes away, while Central Park lies right next door. This hotel is also situated in the heart of Columbus Circle, one of New York’s premier shopping districts.
Crosby Street Hotel
The Crosby Street Hotel has been around for little more than a decade. However, it has quickly secured a reputation for itself. This hotel is definitely luxurious, but you won’t find yourself paying over the odds for a single night or weekend stay here. The rooms aren’t the largest in the city, but the beds are certainly big enough to play host to all manner of nocturnal activity. What’s more, this hotel boasts a secluded terrace. Perfect if you’re looking to take a breather from sex, but don’t want to stray into the crowded streets of NYC.
Room Details
The Crosby is a pretty small hotel, so don’t expect a huge number of rooms available at any one time. However, there’s a good variety here. A Superior King Room is a good choice if you’re on a budget. You’ll get a King bed, plus all the amenities you’d expect from a premium hotel, including a walk-in shower and freestanding tub. Minibars, WiFi access, and complimentary toiletries all come as standard. Room rates vary, but you should be able to secure an overnight stay for around $1,100 if you’re chasing a last-minute booking. To save money, it’s best to check your schedule and free up a few days away from home. You can make a neat saving if you book 2-3 days in a row.
If you’re after luxury, upgrade to a suite. A standard Crosby Suite offers you more square footage, as well as a larger bed so you can get up to more antics. Although you’ll benefit from premium extras, a suite will set you back at least twice the amount of a standard room. Again, timing is everything if you want to secure the best price.
Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences
There aren’t any spa facilities on offer at this hotel. However, guests can enjoy 24-hour access to an on-site gym and fitness center. What really sets this hotel apart from other boutique destinations in the city is its private lounge and drawing room. Provided you’re not a local who runs the risk of bumping into a friend or acquaintance, these romantic spots are perfect for kicking back and unwinding in at the end of a long day.
This hotel also boasts its own cinema room. Every Sunday evening, The Crosby Hotel plays host to a private film screening. If you’re looking to save on extras during your trip to New York, here’s one way to make a saving.
The Crosby Hotel can’t compete with larger establishments when it comes to fine dining. However, there is an on-site restaurant that should more than cater to your appetites. There’s also a hotel bar for nightcaps, as well as an excellent breakfast and brunch menu.
Room Service and Extras
If you’re only in town for a brief spell, you probably won’t want to leave your room for extended periods. The good news is that The Crosby Hotel offers a great room service menu. Room service is 24 hours, meaning you don’t have to play to anyone else’s schedule when enjoying a weekend of sex. What’s more, each room comes equipped with a fully stocked mini-bar to save you trips downstairs or to the terrace.
Location
If you’re staying in Manhattan, there’s no such thing as a bad location. That being said, The Crosby Hotel is located in a particularly lively spot in the SoHo area of the city. There are tons of restaurants and bars within walking distance, while the Museum of Modern Art Design is located right next door. Want to get out and explore? Spring Street station is just a block away, providing easy access to the rest of Manhattan and Long Island.
The Bowery Hotel
If you want to rub shoulders with the stars while enjoying a sex-filled weekend away, The Bowery Hotel is the place to be. As with any NYC hotel, this is an expensive destination, but it’s more affordable than you’d think. Rooms are fairly simple, but you’ll find everything you need for a steamy weekend. There are also plenty of on-site amenities, with a trendy bar and lounge providing the perfect spot to escape to if you need to catch a breath.
Room Details
Thinking about a stay at The Bowery Hotel? There are a ton of room options to choose from. However, if you’re planning a night or two beneath the sheets, a standard Queen room isn’t going to cut out. For maximum comfort, choose a Bowery King. As well as a King bed, you’ll benefit from a marble bathroom, complete with a rainfall shower. These rooms are also fairly large, with a standard King providing you with 250 square feet. If you want more square footage, go for a Superior King. A single night in one of these rooms will set you back around $785. For $30 more, upgrade to a Deluxe King. These rooms are even larger, with the added luxury of a deep soaking tub.
If you need a little more room, think about upgrading to a Studio Suite. These loft-style rooms are kitted out with King beds and separate seating areas. Perfect for longer stays, these suites are the way to go if you’re the kind of couple who like to experiment. A single night is going to be pretty expensive if you’re going the suite route. However, you can make a considerable savings by booking a couple of months in advance.
Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences
The Bowery isn’t the largest hotel. As such, there’s no on-site spa to speak of. However, you can take advantage of a range of in-room spa treatments. Need a massage? Simply speak to the front desk to arrange a pampering session that won’t cost a fortune. If you’re staying for longer than a couple of days, you can also arrange personal trainers and other premium extras.
The Bowery Hotel also has an on-site restaurant, Gemma. This Italian establishment offers a traditional trattoria menu, with experienced chefs serving up seasonal cuisine throughout the year. As this restaurant is open to the public, you’ll probably need to make a reservation, even if you’re staying during the week. If you’re simply looking for a quick drink, The Bowery Lobby will cater to your needs. There’s a huge range of cocktails to sample here, and the wine list is also impressive.
Room Service and Extras
Not in the mood for a sit-down dinner? Not to worry. The Bowery Hotel offers guests room service, whatever the time of day. The 24-hour room service menu is surprisingly extensive, meaning you don’t have to compromise if you don’t feel like budging from bed. However, don’t expect any major price difference when you compare in-room dining to the restaurant menu.
Location
The Bowery Hotel is part of Manhattan’s Lower East Side. If you’re looking to escape to the hustle and bustle of the downtown district, this is the perfect place to stay. Several subway stations are within walking distance of the hotel lobby, providing quick and easy connections to the rest of the city. However, you’ll also find several points of interest within walking distance. Hudson Square is just a few minutes to the west, while Little Italy is also nearby.
The Ned NoMad
It’s strange to call a hotel sexy, but The Ned NoMad is exactly that. With its Parisian-inspired interiors and luxurious finishing touches, no other hotel is going to put in the mood quite like this one. With more than 160 guest rooms, you shouldn’t struggle to secure a stay at this premium destination. The Ned NoMad also caters to all budgets. If you’re on a budget, there are basic room options that won’t break the bank. However, luxurious suites are also on hand for big spenders looking to go all out to impress.
Room Details
With 167 bedrooms to choose from, there’s no shortage of accommodation options at The Ned NoMad. So-called Cosy Rooms are great if you’re flying solo, but if you’re heading to New York for a weekend of sex, it’s best to upgrade to a Large Room. With open-plan layouts, King beds, and a separate seating area, you’ve all the amenities you need for a dirty weekend away. Large rooms aren’t exactly cheap at $1,200 per night, but you get a lot for your money.
If you’re after a bit more breathing room, think about upgrading to an Atrium Studio. These are as close as you’ll get to a suite at The Ned NoMad. In addition to a large bedroom area with plentiful seating, there’s a separate bathroom, shower room, and water closet. Prices are fairly reasonable, with starting rates of $1,247 per night. Every room type in this hotel also boasts an Emperor mattress, produced by leading manufacturers Hypnos. These mattresses are great for sleeping, but they hold up pretty well when it comes to more energetic bedroom activities.
Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences
Currently, The Ned doesn’t offer much in the way of spa facilities. However, in-room services can be arranged if you speak to the front desk. The good news is that The Ned doesn’t skimp on dining options and nighttime entertainment. Paying guests can enjoy access to the on-site restaurant, The Dining Room. There’s also the Little Ned cocktail bar for late-night drinks. Looking for live entertainment? The Magic Room can be found on-site and is often considered one of New York’s best-kept secrets.
Room Service and Extras
Although The Ned offers multiple on-site dining options, not everyone who stays here wants to get dressed and head down for dinner. Fortunately, this premium hotel provides an impressive room service menu. You won’t always be able to access full restaurant menus, but you will get access to a first-rate pick of light bites and late-night meals.
Location
The Ned is located within the Johnston Building, an iconic landmark in Manhattan. Public transport connections are plentiful in this part of New York. However, you’ll also find plenty of first-rate attractions right on your doorstep. The Empire State Building is just a couple of minutes away from the hotel, while the trendy Chelsea district is also nearby.
Final Thoughts
The last thing you want to worry about when enjoying a weekend of sex with your other woman is whether you’re going to get caught out. Thankfully, it’s easy to get lost in the Big Apple. If you want to be right in the heart of it all, Manhattan hotels are the way to go. A standard double isn’t going to be cheap in this part of the world, but book a stay in a highrise venue and you’ll be rewarded with incredible views.
In New York, there are thousands of potential hotels to choose from. However, to get the most out of your stay, spend a little more on a hotel that delivers. At a minimum, you’ll want a bed that’s big enough to keep you with you and your sexual escapades. Don’t plan on leaving the room during your stay? You’ll want to be staying somewhere that offers in-room dining or operates 24-hour room service. If you’re in town longer, a suite or studio room might be a good idea. These rooms can be fairly pricey, but if you book early enough, you can often bag one for the same rate as a standard double.
Since then, MILFs have become even more stunning. Ladies of lunch have been replaced by women going to the gym and ageing down through exercise, yoga and sometimes a little botox.
Personally, I’ve always been into older women. Even when I was single. There is always something so attractive about them, the maturity, the experience the ‘having gone around the block‘ that younger women just don’t have.
Dating Younger Guys Is Now Cool
What’s become so fascinating is whenever I read the entertainment section of various magazines, what was frowned upon years ago, has now become the norm. And that is older women stepping out with young guys. It’s almost like it’s sense of achievement older women have garnered. The most famous of course of them being Marcon and his wife. She used to be his teacher and now she’s married to him.
And just when I thought I was alone, the trend amongst many younger guys is to bag themselves or at least have an experience with an older woman. And I can tell you from firsthand experience, it’s the best. Of course I’m never going to not admit that having fun with younger 20 something year old hotties isn’t fun too, but once you’ve actually slept with them a couple of times, their inexperience in that department is super evident.
The Difference Between A Milf And A Cougar
Now I could be entirely wrong here, but from my own adventures with both, cougars revel in the attention and often go out of their way to land guys younger than them. Whilst MILFs are just very attractive mums that don’t seek out relationships or the attention. Cougars are a bit like me, they go through relationships faster than you can imagine, validating their good lucks by dating different guys.
Cougars are substantially easier to pickup too. They’re out at night, partying with the youngsters, acting like they’re teenagers again, wearing very suggestive clothing and actively looking to get hit on. With the right Cougar if there’s an attraction, you can buy them a drink and before you know it you’re in the cab on the way back to theirs. You’ll catch them at lady’s night of most clubs and they very sexually liberated. They’re less into the talking and more interested in the sex only. And for the most part, Cougars factor your age into everything. For them to feel validated, they prefer guys substantially younger than them – the younger the guy the greater the achievement. So if you’re a young guy, looking to pick up older women, Cougars are 100% the way to go.
Cougars are very proud of being cougars, they bask in knowing that younger men want to sleep with them. And the ones I’ve slept with are generally divorced. They’re also experts in getting married guys to chase them.
MILFs on the other hand are quite the opposite. They’re more often shy, and even if they’re drop dead attractive, they still somehow convince themselves that they’re really not. They’re not into chasing or being chased by guys and most of them are so into their families that to convince them to have a relationship let alone an affair is so far out of the realm of possibility for them.
A Cougar is proud of her age, a MILF is conscious of her age.
You’ll never catch a MILF out in a club (rarely), let alone on dating sites or dating apps. They’re not at all susceptible to flirting and cheesy pickup lines have no effect on them. MILFs have huge emotional maturity and will always pick hanging out with their kids than hanging out with friends. When a young men try and hit on MILFs – they tend not to get very far, and MILFs (unlike cougars) – will laugh it off and say things like ‘oh you’re sweet‘ or the classic ‘I’m old enough to be your mother‘.
Whilst older women can be hot as hell, many of them looking dramatically younger than they really are, they tend to either fall into either the MILF camp or the cougar camp. And given guys like me love the chase, want that emotional attachment as well as the physical, MILFs are a far better choice.
Where To Find These MILFs
So where do you find these MILFs if they’re not hitting the town at night or doing the whole online dating thing. Well of course they go out, but you’re hardly going to be able to pick them up on a mum’s night out. Just imagine how quickly that would get back to her husband, her chatting to you. No, you have to be smarter than that:
School Gates – if you’re a married man like me, with young kids, chances are you’ll always meet MILFs during the school drop offs or school pickups. It’s a non threatening environment, and whilst you may not be able to approach some of these attractive mums randomly, the school is the perfect place. Because the one thing you’ll have in common is that your kids attend the same place. It’s easy to start a conversation be it about the kids, the school or even having a little bitch about either the teachers or some of the more weird parents. In fact that last MILF I had a fling with, this is exactly where I met her. We saw each other twice a day for months to the point that it was normal to speak as much as we did.
In the park walking the dog – I live in a part of the world where I’m next to several parks. And every day I see older, attractive women out there walking their dogs. In fact they’re so regimented about their timings that you can almost bank your watch on it. So if you don’t happen to have a dog, borrow one. If you can’t, be sure to be exercising around the same time everyday so that you become a familiar face. Easier to say hi and strike up a conversation from there.
The gym – after dropping of the kids, a heck of a lot of MILFs head to the gym. They’re more conscious about their weight and pyshcique than they ever have been and so many have become so disciplined they look better now than they did before having kids. I did discuss this in a post on how to pick up married women at the gym because for me, I’ve had THE MOST success in this area.
Supermarkets – you tend to see a lot of MILFs doing their weekly or daily shop at the same supermarket. Now whilst I’ve never tried or had success hitting on women in the supermarket (only because I find it’s a bit too intrusive) I’ve heard of plenty of success stories from men that have had huge success here. They’ve found that women seem to be less guarded, easier to get eye contact and strike up a conversation. I live in hope that this happens for me one day.
Work – lots of women work. And many of them are married with kids. The fact that they work in an office tends to mean that they’re very well dressed and pay huge attention to looking on point. Having an affair with a co-worker is so common. If you think about how much time you spend at work it’s not abnormal to become very attached to people in your office. Some of my best flings have derived from some of the women I’ve met at work.
That’s just to name a few, but there’s always shopping malls, health food shops, the beach, the car wash, etc, etc, etc…
Things To Appreciate About Older Women (especially if they’re married).
What I love about MILFs is that they don’t always know they’re hot. It’s rare that their husband tells them they are, and the truth is, if you’ve been married for a while there’s a strong chance that life and kids and everything else has taken front and centre.
It’s rare for them to feel sexy or to even get a meaningful conversation with their significant other because everyone’s always rushing around, working or exhausted. They don’t get to spend as much alone time with their partners as they used to and visits to the local bar are very infrequent.
In fact, like for so many people out there, life has become monotonous. It’s got a routine. And whilst a MILF may walk the dog and do school runs and the shopping and maybe even go to work – there’s still something that’s very routine about it. Having kids will force a routine into your life because it’s exactly what they need.
My System On Picking Up MILFs
Before I share my system, let me just say this is unique to me. You’re more than welcome to copy me if you think you can pull it off. In writing this piece, I did a cursory glance around the internet and as usual found one article with tips (which were too general and too generic) – and then a whole bunch of other articles that simply re-wrote and reworded the same article. To be really honest, when I read every other article on internet about how to date MILFs, I found that they just had been written from a place of theory. It struck me that most if not all of the authors and no real world experience in the real world on how to pick up hotter, older, attractive women.
My advice to you is follow my structure a bit, but stick to your strengths. So if you’re funny, be funny, if you’re handsome, play on that, if you’re sporty, play on that, etc, etc, etc..
My Approach – AIDA
I pick up women the same way I do deals in business, by following the simple steps of AIDA. Attention, interest, decision, action.
It’s hard to get someone to jump into the sack with you if you can’t get their attention, then garner their interest, then lead them into making a decision (eg having a drink – dinner) with you and them taking action (going all the way).
How To Pickup MILFs – My System
It’s my nature to chat to anyone. I’m a chatty person. I could strike up a conversation with a tree if I had to, and boy oh boy, after a few drinks you’d be hard pressed to shut me up. I also happen to think I’m pretty funny. I pride myself on making people laugh. And it doesn’t hurt that I’m uber perscitpive. Like frighteningly perceptive.
So I take these 3 qualities and I put them to good use.
Attention
So here’s what I do, I make sure I chat to someone who is used to seeing me daily. If it’s a MILF I’m after, I stick to the school gate or the gym. It’s where I have had my biggest luck.
I start by making sure I get their attention. Whether it’s a smile, a hello or small talk. And every day I see them, I make sure I’m consistent. Part of my process is to go from being a random guy to a familiar face. In the early days whatever I do, I don’t rush in and have these huge chats or get them laughing – NO SIR. All I do is make sure I just being familiar.
Interest – Flattery
Backhanded compliments get you everywhere. Remember married women don’t get hit on that much and chances are their own husbands will rarely compliment them. Making them feel attractive is going to get you very far. And so for me, I love using flattery, but not outright compliments but slight ones. For example I took my kids to football practice the other day. There’s this one Pervy horrendous dad always diving in to talk to the mums. Well he actually focuses on the nannies but sometimes he talks to the mums. So I met this one mum there that I was totally besotted with. She would see me every Saturday and like I mentioned above, I’d always make a point of saying hello and smiling at her. After a few Saturdays, I was no longer some random person.
Somehow we got into a conversation and I pointed out this creepy guy to her. I made some jokes about him, she laughed. Then I turned to her and asked her if he had started to hit on her yet. She quizzically looked at me and shook her head.
I then said:
“I’m really surprised, he always hits on all the hot women”
And there it was, I called her hot without quite saying I find you hot. I noticed her blushing ever so slightly and the second she did, I asked which coffee she wanted from the coffee cart.
From then on every Saturday it went from chit chat, to both of us looking forward to seeing each other, to her saving me a chair next to her and waiting for me. All this in just a few weeks. I always paid her compliments on her shoes or her clothes, or the type of mother she was, but again, not always overt.
Then, the next step in my process is to talk outside of seeing each other. And that means Instagram. I’d always make sure they’d give me their Instagram handle and I’d get them to follow me back whilst I was there.
Each day I’d post or reshare other people’s stories and check to see if they were watching. Instagram allows you to see who sees your stories and for me that was a further sign they were interested. I may forward them something of interest to them and see if they respond, etc..
All of these are signs that there’s some level of interest. It may not be romantic yet, but I’ve come a long way from being a random guy.
I know all this sounds crazy. But once there’s a certain level of familiarity and trust there, I start with this confession. I explain that I love the attention, how I love my family, but I need that bit extra outside of my marriage. I tell her that I’d never leave my wife, but whilst my kids are young it’s only fair they get most of her attention.
Interestingly, what typically happens is a few things:
Now a few things can happen here. Firstly they become completely shocked and almost turn religious on me and try and fix me. They’ll advise I need counselling or therapy. They live in this idealistic world of what marriage should be and try and impose that on me. If this happens, I know nothing will ever happen for a while with them and me. It can later by the odds are hugely diminished.
OR
Fascination takes over:
They become TOTALLY curious: Chances are they are so fascinated and ask me so many questions like, why, how, where and how do I get away with it, etc…
Fascinated: They want to here all the stories of the women, the escapades, what I say, how I do it – they want to almost live vicariously through my stories.
Younger Women: Even through it’s not true, I want them to feel relaxed around me and so I make a point of saying that I only date younger women, single women.
I then amp up the communication on Instagram – every now and then I may send them a good morning message, or a good night message – I get to the point where I send daily messages and so that they’re now used to it. It’s become normal to communicate with me normally. I may even send them profiles of younger looking women and asking them for advice on how to bag them… (all part of the plan).
After a bit of time, they’ve gone from not knowing me, to looking forward to our chats to almost expecting it. Without even realising it, I’ve become a daily part of their life.
At this point, they may even start telling me more about their life and sharing their problems with me. I become their shoulder, their confidant, someone they’ll run ideas past. At this point we’re micro cheating and almost verging on having an emotional affair.
Action – Time To Make A Move
What happens next is, unless I take action, push for a drink or dinner, I will stay in this no mans land or friend zone. I need a sign that she’s ready to take it forward a bit more.
It’s time to suggest dinner or food. Anything to get her out alone with you.
Remember, once you’re out for dinner or drinks at a discreet bar – it’s all about flirting.
The smiles, the gentle touches – the odd sexual innuendo. She’s only there because she’s fascinated, wants you to make a move and knows that you know how to have affairs discreetly and not get caught. She wants to be guided into this world by someone who’s successful in it.
Be observant and pay attention to the signs. She’s there for a reason. And if she’s lied to her husband about where she is then that’s an even bigger sign she wants you to make a move.
A young man will rarely have the patience to go after a MILF. If they like an older woman a Cougar is a far easier to close than a MILF. They have to wait less and given we live in an instant society, waiting weeks or months to bed a MILF may just be too hard. Especially when younger guys are used to dealing with young girls. Remember to learn what older women want in bed, and it’s not what you think.
There’s no easy way to pick up a MILF. It’s a process. And convincing someone to have an affair with you is going to take some time. It’s a matter of patience. Have faith in the knowledge that somethings really do take time. But believe you me, the relationship with a MILF is the best type of relationship you can have.
That said, there’s of course a risk. You don’t want to damage lives and you need to make sure both you and her are careful. You don’t want to get caught. It’s a balancing act.
I wish I told you I had an easy answer in how to pickup MILFs – but whenever I’ve rushed it in the past they’ve just shut down and seen me as sleazy. Play it cool, be cool, be kind, observant, flattering and genuine and it’ll happen.
Most women want attention and want to feel sexy, despite their age or what she’s wearing. Knowing and appreciating this will get you having relationships with women you never thought possible.
Planning a dirty weekend in the Windy City? Perhaps you’re a local looking to get away from home for a night of no-strings sex. There’s no shortage of premium hotels in Chicago, with five-star options aplenty. Ready to take your affair up a notch?
Best Hotels in Chicago to Have Sex
Don’t skimp when choosing a venue for your next meet. If you’ve freed up some time in your schedule for a solo vacation or a long-overdue dirty weekender, why not go the whole hog and treat yourself to a suite? Can you only get away for a single night? A compact hotel room in Downtown Chicago might save you a few dollars, but a cramped double bed isn’t going to cut it when it comes to getting down and dirty. Looking for the best hotels in Chicago to have an affair? We’ve got you covered.
The Langham
If you’re looking to enjoy a five-star stay, you can do a lot worse than The Langham. This premium hotel is all about luxury, offering some of the best rooms in the city, exceptional facilities, and some of the finest views of the iconic Chicago skyline. Make no mistake, this is an upmarket destination catered to guests with money to burn. However, if you’re prepared to spend a little extra, you’ll be well rewarded when checking in at The Langham.
Room Details
There are plenty of room options at The Langham. If you’re working with a limited budget, your best bet is to choose something from the Deluxe lineup of rooms. The most basic room option here is a Deluxe. Although these rooms are on the small side, they’re kitted out in stylish mid-century decor. What’s more, the ensuite bathrooms are out of this world. Rainfall showers and freestanding tubs come as standard, while double vanity units make these rooms ideal for couples. Although the most basic option at The Langham, a double room isn’t cheap. If you’re looking to make a last-minute booking, expect to pay in the region of $550 for an overnight stay.
If you want a slight upgrade, think about booking a Deluxe Premier room. You’ll benefit from a bit more square footage, but the main draw of these elevated rooms is the view. With floor-to-ceiling windows, you’ll be able to take a break from nocturnal activities and soak in the city lights. If you want a hotel room with a view of the Chicago River, expect to pay an average of $740 per night. All Deluxe rooms are equipped with full double beds, although some rooms also feature King size beds.
There’s also a good range of suites at The Langham. A Junior Suite is the most affordable option, although a single night will set you back around $1,055. Most of the other suites available at The Langham cater to larger groups, which isn’t really practical if it’s just the two of you. However, you’ll find one-bedroom suites offering stunning views of Lake Michigan. If you want to really indulge, an overnight stay in a suite like this will cost around $1,760 per night.
Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences
When it comes to spa facilities and amenities, The Langham does not disappoint. There’s an on-site sauna and health club, along with an indoor swimming pool and whirlpool. If you don’t feel like venturing too far from your bed, you can also take advantage of in-room spa treatments and massage services.
Looking for dining options? The Langham Hotel has a couple of dining establishments for you to take advantage of. The Travelle restaurant offers seasonal American cuisine throughout the week. Although you’ll find breakfast, brunch, lunch, and dinner all served here, menu availability varies depending on the day. What’s more, you’ll need to reserve a table if you want to sit down for dinner during the weekend.
For more laid-back dining, head to Pavillion. This trendy space operates on Saturdays and Sundays, offering up light bites and an afternoon tea service. If you’re booking a last-minute stay, you might not have time to reserve a table ahead of time. Thankfully, The Langham offers private dining experiences to guests with a healthier budget.
Room Service and Extras
If your schedule leaves little else for sex, you’re probably not going to be able to make it down for lunch or dinner during your stay. Thankfully, The Langham offers round-the-clock room service to paying guests. The 24-hour room service menu is surprisingly extensive, giving you access to premium eats and a pretty generous drinks selection. Naturally, this doesn’t come cheap, but it’s well worth paying a premium for the convenience.
Location
This skyscraper hotel enjoys a prime location. Situated at 330 North Wabash Avenue, The Langham lies within the New Eastside district of the Windy City. You’re just a short walk from city landmarks like Millenium Park, the American Writers Museum, and Willis Tower. Need to rely on public transport during your stay? You’ll find several “L” train stations within walking distance of the hotel lobby.
JW Marriott Chicago
Planning a stay in Chicago’s historic downtown district? The JW Marriot Chicago is the perfect place to call home during your trip to the city. This is one of the most popular hotels in the Windy City, and it’s not hard to see why. Aside from an excellent location, there’s a huge variety of room and suite options to choose from. What’s more, there are excellent spa facilities and in-house services to make your stay one you’ll remember for a long time to come.
Room Details
Thinking about paying a visit with your latest mistress? A great stay starts with the right room. Thankfully, there’s a range of affordable options for cheaters looking to camp out in style in Chicago. If you’re on a budget, a standard King room is your best bet. With high ceilings and plenty of square footage, they’re the perfect base of operations for a dirty weekend away.
Each room comes equipped with a King size bed that’s perfect for passionate nights under the sheets. Meanwhile, the ensuite bathroom facilities are excellent. Decked out in marble, each bathroom includes double vanity counters and an oversized bathtub, not to mention a separate shower. What’s a single night in a JW Marriott King going to set you back? Book early enough and you should be able to secure a room for as little as $540 per night.
Thinking about splashing out on a suite? A one-bedroom suite might be the way to go. The main perk of this room type is more square footage and a bigger bathroom. If you’re staying for more than a couple of nights, it might be worth forking out for the premium. However, if you’re looking to save a few bucks, an upgraded King room might be a better option. For as little as $665 per night, you’ll enjoy larger rooms, better views, and, most importantly, exclusive access to the JW Marriott Executive Lounge.
Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences
The best Chicago hotels don’t skimp when it comes to spa services. The JW Marriott Chicago is no different. There’s a huge menu of spa treatments and pampering services on offer here. You can schedule an in-room massage, with standards including deep tissue and CBD massage treatments. There are also some great value spa packages to take advantage of, granting you access to on-site facilities and five-star extras. This hotel also caters to couples, with a limited menu of couple experiences that are just the thing for getting warmed up for an evening of no-strings sex.
Looking for nearby dining venues? The JW Marriott Chicago has got you covered. Reviver is the place to be if you’re looking for late-night cocktails and small bites. There’s also an impressive lunch and dinner menu to delve into. The Lobby Lounge is another good option if you’re short on ideas and don’t want to stray too far from your room. This is a casual establishment, although the quality of the food won’t disappoint. If you’re looking for fine dining experiences, head to The Florentine. Located on the 2nd floor of the JW Marriott Chicago building, you’ll find a restaurant menu bursting with the best of authentic Italian cuisine.
Room Service and Extras
If your schedule is tight, you probably won’t have much time for restaurant reservations. Fortunately, the JW Marriott Chicago caters to guests who don’t fancy budging from their beds. This hotel offers an in-room dining menu that puts most room service offerings to shame. Although you’ll be able to enjoy far more variety than a typical room service menu, bear in mind that in-room dining isn’t offered at all hours of the day. Service starts at 6 am, with final orders accepted at 11 pm. However, if you’re staying for a couple of days or are a returning guest, you may have a little leeway.
Location
This five-star hotel doesn’t disappoint when it comes to location. It’s situated in the heart of Chicago’s iconic downtown district. There are countless restaurants, museums, and landmarks within walking distance. What’s more, there’s a bustling nightlife scene surrounding this hotel. If you’re driving into the city, you should be able to secure a parking spot nearby. However, there are excellent public transport links nearby to make your life easier.
The Ritz-Carlton
Looking for a central hotel to play host to a dirty weekend? The Ritz-Carlton is one of the best hotel choices in Chicago. Situated in the downtown district with superb views of Lake Michigan, this five-star destination remains popular with business travelers and pleasure-seekers alike. It’s not the cheapest hotel in the city, but if you’re looking for luxurious extras, incredible rooms, and unbeatable service, there are few better options.
Room Details
Every room option at The Ritz-Carlton screams luxury. You’ve got a choice between a Lake View or a City View room when staying at this Chicago hotel. Neither room option is particularly large, but you do benefit from spacious beds and floor-to-ceiling windows that deliver spectacular views of one of North America’s most legendary cities.
Both room types are also equipped with marble bathrooms. Expect all the amenities of a five-star stay here. One thing to keep in mind is that The Ritz-Carlton goes above and beyond when it comes to housekeeping. Expect at least two visits from the maid every day. If you plan on staying in a state of constant undress during your stay, make sure you’re using that do not disturb sign. Room rates vary slightly depending on the season, but don’t expect to spend anything less than $720 on a single night.
Thinking about a suite? The Ritz-Carlton has a few choice options. Take your stay up a notch and book a night or two at the Gold Coast Suite. Bigger beds, better views, and extended square footage come as standard here. There’s also a separate dining area, making it perfect for couples who don’t want to spend too much time outside of the bed. What’s the damage? A suite can easily set you back three times the rate of a standard room. However, if you’re thinking about spending a long spell in Chicago, don’t be afraid to ask about special rates.
Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences
This is a premier hotel establishment, so it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise to find a selection of spa facilities available. There’s a large pool for when you need to cool off after an afternoon under the sheets. Meanwhile, a fitness center and sauna are on hand when you need to unwind. In-room spa treatments can also be arranged, but it’s best to call ahead and plan your schedule with concierge services before checking in. You can book things like massages, body wraps, manicures, and more. There’s also an on-site steam room to discover.
If you can bear to tear yourself from the bed during your stay, you don’t have to go far for first-rate dining. The Ritz-Carlton has a couple of great on-site venues offering up delicious cuisine. There’s a rooftop steakhouse restaurant that should cater to carnivorous tastes. Meanwhile, The Cafe is the way to go if you’re looking for a caffeine pick-me-up or lighter dishes. Bear in mind, this hotel is in a really central spot. If the on-site restaurant menus aren’t whetting your appetites, you won’t have to stray far to find more exciting alternatives.
Room Service and Extras
The Ritz-Carlton has one of the best room service menus of any hotel in Chicago. Unlike standard room service lists that lack much in the way of choice, you’ll find a full list of in-room dining options here. If you can’t face getting dressed and heading down to a restaurant, simply dial the front desk and place your order. You can enjoy just about any of The Ritz-Carlton’s signature dishes. What’s more, there’s a full wine list to discover if you’re finding the mini-bar options a bit limited.
Location
The Ritz-Carlton can be found at Water Tower Place. If you’re new to the city, you’ll have no trouble finding this hotel and checking in. If you’re flying in, The Ritz-Carlton is just 10 miles from Midway Airport and a mere 16 miles from O’Hare International Airport. It’s also within walking distance of several Chicago L stations. Once you’re settled in, you’re in a prime location to get out and explore. Dozens of iconic attractions are just minutes away on foot.
The Gwen
Sometimes, it’s worth spending a little more on a hotel stay. Maybe you and your affair partner haven’t had the chance to get away from regular life yet. Perhaps you’re looking to sweeten the deal and secure a weekend filled with sex. Booking a stay at The Gwen is a surefire way of upping your sex game. Although it takes inspiration from the 1930s, this five-star hotel isn’t lacking in contemporary conveniences. Enjoy some of the best accommodations in the city, not to mention jaw-dropping views that will serve as a brilliant backdrop to a hot weekend.
Room Details
The Gwen offers a good selection of guest rooms and suites. You’ll pay a little more for a stay at this hotel, but that minor premium is more than worth it for five-star opulence. For a sex-filled weekend stay, a Superior King is the way to go. Each of these rooms is equipped with a spacious King size bed, not to mention a separate seating area. You’ll also have access to complimentary WiFi and all those basic extras you’d expect from any five-star hotel. The bathrooms are particularly well appointed, with marble interiors and large tubs that are perfect if you’re looking to move the action away from the bed. For a single-night stay, you’re looking at around $505. If you’re after a room with a view, expect to pay a little more than that.
Big spenders can also choose to upgrade to a suite. Unless your bank balance runs into seven figures, the Gwen Lux Suite is probably too expensive for your tastes. If you’re after something more affordable, consider a Superior King Suite. Expect all the same amenities as a Superior King room, with enhanced interiors and more square footage. A major selling point of these suites is that you get access to a private terrace. Perfect for taking a breather, these enclosed terraces are also great if you’re thinking about al fresco nighttime activity. Suite availability is limited, so you’ll need to book well in advance. What’s more, prices can vary wildly. For the best possible price, make sure you’re pointing in a reservation a couple of months before you plan to travel.
Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences
Although The Gwen doesn’t currently have an on-site spa, you can still enjoy premium spa experiences. The hotel currently offers something called the Luxury La Mer Experience. This budget-friendly extra means your other half can pamper themselves with a selection of premium spa products. If you’re looking for something more, speak to the front desk about arranging in-room treatments. However, because these treatments will need to be provided by third-party suppliers, expect to pay a premium.
Thinking about dining options? There are a few good choices at The Gwen. Upstairs at The Gwen is the place to be if you’re looking for rooftop dining and exceptional views. You’ll only find light bites and small plates here, but the drinks menu is second to none. For a more traditional dining experience, there’s Kostali by Naha. Here, you’ll find one of the best menus in Chicago.
Room Service and Extras
As with any good hotel, The Gwen provides guests with a room service option. However, the menu offerings here are fairly limited compared to other hotels we’ve talked about. If you’re only looking for the occasional dish to recharge your batteries in between sex sessions, you shouldn’t be disappointed. However, if you’re after something more substantial, it might be worth forcing yourself into a change of clothes and heading to one of the on-site dining venues. For reference, room service is available from 7 am, right up until 11 pm every evening.
Location
The Gwen is located within the McGraw-Hill Building. This historic complex is situated in the Windy City’s commercial district, meaning you’re in a prime location to get out and explore. If you want to head out for dinner, you’ll find dozens of restaurants and bistros within walking distance. What’s more, the river is right on your doorstep. If you’re driving into town, finding this hotel is easy, while parking can be arranged in advance. If you’re depending on public transport, you’ll benefit from convenient L train connections to points of interest across the city.
Final Thoughts
Keeping an affair under wraps is hard work. Even if you’re managing to keep your other woman a secret, nothing beats getting away from it all and escaping to a five-star hotel. If you’re looking for US destinations, Chicago is an obvious choice. It’s right up there with NYC and, generally speaking, hotel accommodation is far more affordable.
Even if you’ve left it to the last minute, you won’t struggle to find great rates on Chicago hotel rooms. If you can only get away for a single night, a deluxe double shouldn’t set you back much more than $500. If you’re staying for longer and want to get the best return on your investment, it’s always worth shelling out a little more for a suite.
Before you hand over your credit card details, think about what you’ve got planned. Without having to constantly look over your shoulder, you and your other woman can get out and explore. If you’re looking for evening entertainment, make sure you’re checking into a central location with great transport connections. If sex is the only thing you’re thinking about, make sure you’re staying somewhere with excellent on-site amenities and round-the-clock room service.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last 10 years, you’ve probably heard of the app Tinder. It is one of the most popular dating apps in history and has completely revolutionised the way people meet each other. If you have been living under a rock, let me tell you a little about Tinder.
What is Tinder?
Tinder is a dating app that allows users to find potential matches based on their location. It uses GPS to show nearby users who are also using the app. Users can then swipe right if they are interested in the other user, or swipe left if they are not. If both users swipe right, then they are a match and can chat with each other.
How does Tinder work?
Tinder is very simple to use. First, you need to download the app and create an account. Then, you will be asked to provide some basic information about yourself, such as your name, age, and location. After that, you will be able to see potential matches near you. Swipe right if you are interested in the other person, or swipe left if you are not. If both users swipe right, then they are a match and can chat with each other.
What are the benefits of using Tinder?
There are many benefits of using Tinder. First, it is a great way to meet new people. You can find potential matches based on your location, which makes it very convenient. Second, Tinder is a great way to start a conversation. It can be difficult to start a conversation with someone you don’t know, but Tinder makes it easy. All you have to do is start swiping. Third, Tinder is a great way to find love. Many people have found lasting relationships through Tinder. Finally, Tinder is a great way to have fun. Swiping can be addictive, and it’s a great way to pass the time.
How To Use Tinder If You’re Married And Have An Affair
I was always fascinated by Tinder. I mean what a cool, modern and easy to use app – or at least I was told. I was dying to get on it, but being married and knowing loads of people in general, it seemed like a recipe for disaster. A couple of my buddies used it with some success and whenever I was with them, I always enjoyed the whole swipe left and right feature.
Tinder was created after I’d got married and so not only could I not use it when I was single, but using it after I was married wasn’t going to happen. That said, a friend of mine brought to my attention, that there was an upgraded version of the app that would let me use the app without other people seeing my profile.
Wait, what now?
Enter Tinder Gold – What Is It?
Tinder Gold is a paid subscription service that gives you access to certain features that are not available to non-paying users. These features include:
Get the gold treatment.
We know you. You live in a world where every moment counts—where speed equals success, you’re always on the go, and you can’t let anything slow you down. Especially your Tinder feed.
That’s why we created Tinder Gold, a members-only service, offering our most exclusive features: Passport, Rewind, Unlimited Likes, five Super Likes per day, one Boost per month, and more profile controls—as well as our new Likes You feature, so that you can see who likes you before you swipe. Think of it as your personal Swipe Right concierge—available 24/7—bringing all of your pending matches to you. Now you can sit back, enjoy a fine cocktail, and browse through profiles at your leisure.
How Can I use Tinder Without My Wife Knowing
Along with the regular Tinder features the MOST IMPORTANT thing about Tinder Gold for a guy like me was the fact that your profile would only be shown to people you liked. There was a setting that allowed you to do that. It effectively would hide your own profile, until and as such as you liked someone else’s….How Cool!!!!
That effectively meant that unless you were drunk and blindly swiping away without even looking at the pictures, you were totally protected.
Now whilst of course Tinder didn’t market this as a feature for married people, there’s no doubt that one of the smart people on their team realised that by introducing this feature, it would open the floodgates to lots and lots of married guys just like me.
I couldn’t have been more excited. Every second I got I was swiping away but of course I realised something… Whilst this feature existed and kicked ass – this app was still mostly and heavily used by single people. And let’s be honest, the last thing that single gal wanted was to meet a married guy on an app like Tinder. There were plenty of other cheating apps and sites out there for them to do that on.
Die With The Lie
Now typically, and as I’ve said in past blogs, I was past lying about being married. In fact, I realised that admitting it early on usually meant there were no games and allowed for a smoother ride; everyone knew where they stood right off the bat.
But just by the very nature of this app, I was going to have to pretend to be single. I was going to have to pretend not to be married and I was going to have to pretend that I didn’t have 3 kids. And despite cheating for so long, it all felt a little strange to do that.
‘happily married, don’t want to upset anything at home – looking for a little excitement’.
But you just couldn’t do that on Tinder. You actually had to make something up. So I told the truth about what I did for work, I mentioned that I travelled a lot between London, Dubai, Miami and NYC – and whilst I wasn’t quite ready to settle down, I was looking for someone interesting to hang out with. I even used my real pictures, but a totally fake name. That said, here are 131 best bio on Tinder for men.
My Cover Story
The trouble with getting a match and starting a conversation meant that it involved a heck of a lot of back end work. I had to reactivate my fake Facebook profile from years ago. And I had to use a different burner phone, a new twitter handle – and setup an entirely new cover story.
It wasn’t easy, and truth be told was a lot of work. Of course once you got past the initial chat, and they had checked you out online, you of course would end up meeting.
I used to say that I’d come out of a crazy marriage to a psycho. She was completely nuts and I was just getting back out there. I played the sympathy card quite a bit – and to my surprise it did work. But it did inevitably open up a whole new can of worms, with the new Tinder Date asking loads about my ‘ex’. Some even going out of their way to give me sound advice on how to move on.
I’m sure there were plenty of other ways to do things and I tested a lot of them, but this one seemed to work the best for me.
Why Would A Married Man Have A Tinder Profile
With so many apps and sites out there, the question of why a married man would have a Tinder Account comes into question. Now given that I don’t speak for all men, I can only tell you why I did it. I cheat. Like a lot. And of course I have my own reasons, but for me it was total fascination. The app came out after I was married and plenty of people I know use it with great success. I had FOMO!
Stupid Features of Tinder Gold
There were some features that were counter intuitive on Tinder Gold – so for example hiding your profile and only showing it to people who you liked was amazing. However, the Super Boost was in complete contrast with that, and literally broadcast your profile for hours on end, without even being able to stop it. In fact I actually hated the Super Boost and sometimes found myself triggering it without realising and then praying that someone I knew wouldn’t come across my profile.
Is Tinder Gold Worth It
Old Data But Interesting
I found this article in the Guardian from back in 2015, which decided to quote a report from the GlobalWebIndex (GWI). To save you the trouble of going through the data, even back then, it was suggested that of those surveyed, 30% of Tinder Users were married, whilst 12% were in relationships. Of course Tinder hit back at these findings and refuted them whole heartedly but even now, in 2022, there’s no denying that Tinder has this magical draw not just on single people, but also married ones too.
The Results
I did end up meeting someone who was divorced. She was absolutely gorgeous, an Optician, with the most amazing fashion sense and legs up to her tits. A complete bombshell. She had completely bought into the story of my breakup and would often find herself giving me advice on how to cope with divorce and get past it.
She very quickly fit into the roster, however, I won’t lie – just keeping up with the lie, and juggling everything I’d told her about my ‘ex’ was mentally exhausting. There was just too much to remember.
After I met her and we really clicked and things got physical, I found myself in a rush to delete Tinder altogether. It was without doubt the best app I’d ever used in the dating world but the cover story, the lies, the fake social profiles – it was all too much.
I had been spoilt for too long being accepted by other women for being married, and whilst Tinder was incredible, almost addictive, the not being able to come clean about being married just meant there was too much on the back end that needed doing. There were far easier ways to cheat using other sites online without all the necessary dramas.
That said, as long as you’re careful and avoid the Super Boosts, it’s definitely worth a shot. Saying you’re married will just make you look like a creep so be sure to have your back story, social profiles and burner phone ready.
I’d love to sit here and act like I move from girlfriend to girlfriend without emotion. I really would. In fact, I wish I was like that. Sadly, I’m not built that way. It’s a major flaw in my personality, that sometimes, when I like someone a lot, I can fall for them. In fact, it turns me on when they fall for me too. And to make matters worse, I take the breakups very badly. It can take me months to get over.
When Affairs Turn To Love
Last year, I fell head over heels in love with the lady I was seeing. She was beautiful, kind and funny. She too had a great job and was an amazing mum. Everything about her was simply perfect. We’d talk for hours and every time we’d meet-up, just being near her was electric. We couldn’t get enough of each other. I thought it was just a crush to begin with, but when I noticed she had feelings back, it ended up leading to a full blown affair.
Now this particular lady had never had an affair before, which added to the excitement, and she’d constantly be asking me what was normal and what wasn’t in the affair world. I specifically remember her asking me
what happens when you start falling for someone…
Before she could even finish the sentence, I replied
I love you. I’m totally and completely in love with you.
Thankfully she said the same back, and we went on for a few months feeling like we were floating on cloud 9. Occasionally, she would ring me up crying as it was all getting a little too overwhelming. And of course sometimes if we didn’t get give each other enough attention we’d fight.
But as much as I loved her with every fibre of my body, I started to get scared. I realised that she was the type of woman I could leave my wife for – and she was thinking of leaving her husband. We both knew deep down it couldn’t happen, but it didn’t stop us wanting it.
This situation was not ideal. And the more we couldn’t do what we wanted to, the more it just lead to more and more arguments to the point that it broke us apart. We both said things that we couldn’t take back, and it ended in a way where we could never speak again. We blocked each other on WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook. There was no going back.
Once in a while, I’d look at her instagram from a dummy account, but all I felt was a combination of anger and hatred for her. When the truth is it wasn’t her I was angry at. It was the situation. And as much as her and I were good together – perhaps us actually being together, with children logistics and divorce cases, was just something that neither of us would ever want to go through. Her amazing personality and good looks didn’t help – and I’d keep asking myself if I’d ever meet someone as good again.
I lost a best friend and a girlfriend all in one go. And for the first time in my life, it made me realise why and how men would leave their wives for their lovers. Caught up in emotion, it’s easily done!
I always promised myself that I’d never put myself in a situation where I leave my wife and not see my 3 kids everyday. It would break all 4 of them, but mostly the kids.
Was I really that selfish?
I just never expected to find myself so deep in love! This was a first.
I still think about her almost everyday, and it’s taken every part of me to stop looking at her instagram stories, and keeping some sort of tabs on her. It just wasn’t and isn’t healthy.
Like I said at the beginning of this post, I’d love to sit here and act like I move from girlfriend to girlfriend without emotion. And most of the time that’s been the case. But this time it wasn’t and it’s jarred me. It’s been one of the most ecstatic and frightening experiences I’ve had to date.
When Affairs Turn Into Love – My Takeaway
And as you can probably tell, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. Perhaps an unhealthy amount of time reflecting. The truth is you can’t legislate your feelings. But I wish I had nipped it in the bud earlier, or I wish she had. We both got in too deep, and once we admitted we fell in love with each other, alarm bells should have been going off! And they didn’t and for that I’m angry at myself. I’m angry I lost control, I lost common sense and I lost some level of reality.
We had somehow fooled ourselves into thinking we could keep a lid on this, and continue together for years and years. But we couldn’t. And it broke us both. And right now, I’d do anything to hold her, hug her and kiss her again, anything. But what good would come of that? Nothing. Just more confusion, more pain and more hurt!
I don’t know how common it is for men who have affairs and fall in love with their affair partners. It’s not something I can ask people, and even if I could, we’re all a bunch of alpha males who wouldn’t admit it to each other. But the beauty about a blog like this is that I can admit it to you!
My Advice
My advice is such; if you find yourself in a similar position to myself, and you find yourself falling head over heels in love, believe you me – it’s better to pull the handbrake than to dive in! Take it from me, the pain and the arguments and the hurt, simply isn’t worth it!
As a keen poker player, I realise it’s hard to walk away from a winning hand – but it’s these types of errors that get people caught! Trust me. And this isn’t as clear cut as poker, my definition of winning hand is truly a losing hand.
Whilst some of us do what we do, it’s still and always will be family first, and no matter what, nothing or no-one will ever change that.
He talks about it all the time. I wouldn’t be surprised if he dreams about it. And whilst he doesn’t have affairs, I know for a fact he sees escorts quite regularly.
He’s on plenty of dating apps but doesn’t use them right and is generally terrible with technology. Consequently, he has this terrible habit of taking screenshots of the women he likes, with a view to messaging them later.
I do feel bad for him. He tries so hard, but he doesn’t really take good care of himself. My friend is overweight, dresses poorly and really has no game. What to him feels like flirty freaks most women out.
And whilst he doesn’t seem to realise he’s living the definition of insanity, whenever we meet for a drink, he’s always eager to show me the screenshots of the women he’s attempting to talk to.
Couldn’t Stop Laughing
However, the other day it all backfired on him. Even I found myself laughing to tears. His wife was helping their 6 year old with his homework and using the iPad was part of it.
Somehow they found themselves looking through the pictures. And lo and behold, she stumbled upon dozens and dozens of screenshots of these women on dating sites.
My friend was so bad at technology and couldn’t quite get his head around how the Apple ecosystem worked. And so every photo he took, every screenshot he took, was being synced to his sons’ iPad and their home computer.
As he told me what happened over some mojitos, I pissed myself laughing. I still do.
Just the thought of his son stumbling upon all these women, some topless……I can’t even finish this sentence because I’m laughing so much, suffice to say, that’s a new definition of education.
Imagine getting in trouble with your wife for screenshots of hot women, without actually being able to have an affair with any of them! A combination of hilarious and ironic.
They say it’s never the crime that gets people caught, it’s the cover up. But in the cheating game, it’s the cover-up that’s key. A large number of affairs are discovered by women, simply by going through their man’s phone. And there it is, tons of text messages and WhatsApps with full on detailed conversations that make for an interesting read.
How Cheaters Communicate
And knowing this from day 1, I’ve always been very careful to communicate with my affair partners with discretion. Below are a list of my 3 favourite apps to use, which are unlikely obvious choices. And remember, if you happen to use any of them, remember to switch off the notifications so they don’t show up on your phone’s Home Screen at inopportune times.
Telegram – whilst I do love all things geeky, Telegram is like WhatsApp on steroids. Sometimes you can get added to groups you don’t want to but it does mask your actual phone number, you can use an obscure screen name, and there’s no chance in hell your wife is going to even know what it is. The beauty about telegram is that if has a feature that auto deletes messages after a few seconds, leaving no trace.
KIK – I absolutely hate this app, but for sites like Ashley Madison (Discover Hidden Features: Ashley Madison Tricks Exposed) and Illicit Encounters, it seems to be the go to app. Similar to Telegram, you can mask your number and identity. However, it has the worst functionality and feels buggy. Almost like a broken version of WhatsApp.
I have a very active Instagram account, and for some reason, I love using DM. I’m on IG quite a lot, and am usually most responsive when chatting on DM. However, the downside is, you have to remember to manually delete the messages as well as ensuring the notifications are off. That coupled with the fact that your affair partner may be able to see too much about your personal life is something to keep in mind. They do have a habit of then asking a lot of questions about your wife. Best to avoid if possible.
Even though having an affair is exciting and it’s very easy to get caught up in the moment (believe me, I’ve been there), don’t let yourself get stupid. Be smart, discreet and leave no trace.
I’ve never been good at breakups. Ever. Even when I broke up with my first girlfriend at 17, I was a wreck. Firstly I got dumped!!
And at the time, so many things went through my mind. That overwhelming fear of rejection surrounded me and I was convinced I’d never meet anyone as good ever again.
I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach and I just couldn’t shake it!
I did everything to win her back. I sent her cards and flowers, I was even pathetic enough to record myself onto a cassette tape (remember those) and send it to her. Looking back, I cringe at my attempts…
It took me a long time to get over her. And in that dumping, I felt deflated. I felt that my confidence had been knocked so badly, I had even lost what little game I had back then completely. I had lost my ability to speak to other women, and I just kept comparing them to her.
It was all just so pathetic. I was pathetic.
But here’s what so strange. I never changed. Every breakup I went through, I felt exactly as I did above, but I had learnt to completely cut out the grovelling part. Effectively I just suffered in silence.
I was great at chasing women and making them feel special, but I was a terrible boyfriend. Once in the comfort of a relationship, I’d always be out with my friends, often speaking to and hooking up with other girls, but knowing I had the security blanket of a girlfriend.
And that meant I was the guy who got dumped quite a lot vs the guy who ended it.
I had even perfected the line, when people would ask me who ended it, I’d always say
it was a mutual decision.
I never had the strength to be the one to end it and I always just waited for it to end. And often, despite knowing the relationship wasn’t for me, I still took the breakups really badly.
The flings were easy to forget and the one night stands were even easier, but those darned relationships – I always struggled. Remember to check out our article on how to know when it’s time to breakup with someone.
Now if you’ve read some of my other posts, there’s no doubt I’m a playboy, a player, a womaniser – I’m not even going to be crass enough to tell you the number of the women I’ve slept with – but don’t think for a second it doesn’t come with its own emotional baggage. In my very first post I said:
Beyond all the texts, and butterflies, and sex – there’s an emotional toll. And you have to learn to deal with that, or it’s going to be obvious the second you get home!
Your wife will sense it, your kids will sense it – shoot, I’ve even seen guys come home and just confess their sins because they couldn’t live with the guilt.
This game isn’t for everyone, and it’s certainly no game! The stakes are high, the risk is high! And yes, for me the reward at the end of it is worth it, but I’ve developed the stomach for this!
And I meant every word of it.
However, I came to accept that that was how I was built and I would just get used to the pain, ride it out, have more one night stands and flings until the next great relationship came along.
And the meaningless sex between waiting for the next relationship was meant to take the hurt away – but for me, it never did!! As popeye said:
I Yam Who I Yam
Little did I know the pain of breaking up amplified ten fold after I got married.
About 6 months ago I got out of a relationship that had gotten too serious. Not only was I married but so was she.
She was funny, pretty, intelligent and had a great career. Everything about her was perfect. We both fell in love with each other. Both of us would carve out an hour a day just to chat over the phone and we’d be messaging each other non stop. I was verging on getting sloppy but I was so in love and so was she. And don’t even get me started on the sex. It was all so perfect.
In Too Deep
We’d both made the cardinal mistake in an affair, we fell for each other hard and fast! It had gotten so bad, that she had stopped being able to have orgasms when she was having sex with her husband (which strangely made me feel very happy).
Neither of us could imagine a life without each other and both of us had contemplated leaving our spouses for each other. But she knew the rules from day 1, I’d never leave my wife and more importantly my 3 kids for anyone. Not even for the love of my life.
Finally, after realising that this was only going to cause hurt and pain, she was the one who mustered up the strength and ended it. The only outcomes were bad and she knew this. I so desperately didn’t want it to end, and when it did, all those loving conversations turned into huge shouting matches to the point where we cut contact with each other.
And what happened when it ended? Pain all over again. Gut wrenching pain. But this time it was harder because I had to go home and play happy husband and father, as if none of this had ever happened.
Things were made even worse because she was hugely active on social media and so I kept watching all her videos thinking I couldn’t even speak to her. There wasn’t this out of sight out of mind policy. She was literally on my phone and I couldn’t stop looking. And every time I watched one of her videos, I would miss her more and then hate her for ending it.
In those 6 months since the breakup, I had several flings, several one night stands and yet until recently, all I could think about was her.
I’m Sorry
Now I want to apologise because I have kept the tone of this website generally upbeat, even funny at times. But my posts have been nothing but honest and as I always said on day 1 – I don’t glamourise cheating. I know it’s wrong. I’m not sitting here encouraging men to cheat.
No sir!
My mission has been to protect men from their families being hurt from our selfish behaviour. What they don’t find out will never hurt them.
So let me leave you with this.
Yes, cheating can be fun. It can put you on Cloud 9 and give you a confidence that you’ve never possessed before.
But when it ends, there’s truly a toll.
It almost alters your DNA and if you can’t manage your state properly, you’ll end up taking out your frustrations on your family – which will leave them confused and wondering where your bad mood is coming from! It may even get you busted or somehow make you think that confessing will make the pain go away. Which it won’t.
I occasionally watch my ex’s videos online of her out with friends or worse still her husband, but now I’m thankfully indifferent. It doesn’t both me at all. But it took me 6 whole months to get here.
Let me just tell you gents, that if you’re reading an article like this one, you’re probably looking to increase the number of matches you get, which will get you that one step closer to finding your next affair partner. Believe me, I get it. Ashley Madison is famous. I mean not just for getting hacked (you can read about the Ashley Madison Hack here), but for being the dating site that so braizantly provided a platform that facilitated having an affair.
As someone who is a serial cheater (so much so that the newspapers asked me to writer for them. My feature in the Sun and Metro here,) I’ve always been a little too obsessed with checking out sites that encourage affairs. At the top of that list is of course Ashley Madison. Years ago when I first started using it, it was head and shoulders about everyone else. Of course, now Adult Friend Finder is (by a long shot), but Ashley Madison used to really rock it. Now and then I still do use it.
In fact just last year I had an amazing (short-lived) affair with someone from the UK. She was going through a messy divorce and was looking for an outlet. Me, I was just looking for an outlet 😉 But with quite a lot of experience on AM, I thought writing an article about Ashley Madison Tips & Tricks seemed apt.
When I first Joined Ashley Madison
When I first joined, I thought it would be easy. Of course, what drew me to the site was how it pushed extramarital affairs, but beyond that, the thought of meeting link-minded women was simply hard to resist. But it was hard. It wasn’t as easy as I thought to get matches. I learnt as I went on. I didn’t get it straight it away. It took plenty of getting it wrong, learning the lingo and going out and failing before I started to discover my own set of tricks that worked for me.
It goes without saying, that in all dating websites, there’s an element of trial and error. And what of course may work for you, may not work or feel natural for someone else, but effectively, I started to discover tips that would work for me more often than not. And once I started to get more matches, it led to more conversations, more phone calls and even the occasional coffee and FINALLY, an affair!
Fast forward a few months and I had met my first Affair Partner. It was great! She was great! And we both wanted some extra excitement in our lives and didn’t want to wreck our home life.
The beauty of Ashley Madison was that it goes without saying. It goes without saying that never rocking the boat at home was paramount. As obvious as this sounds, with other apps like Tinder, you’d often meet single people, and then have to explain to them that you’re married and you’ll never leave your wife, etc, etc.. And even if you got past them not thinking you’re a complete sleaze for wanting to cheat on your wife, there was always a small part of me that would wonder if they’d show up to your house and ruin your life. Sound extreme? Trust me, it’s been known to happen. If Tinder happens to be your jam (risky as it is), there is a secret method to having affairs on there.
Want To Cheat, Need To Cheat
So, if you’re one of those daring Casanovas seeking more matches on this notorious website, you’ve come to the right place! Our article, “50 Ashley Madison Tips and Tricks,” will guide you through the treacherous yet tantalizing world of digital infidelity with humor, wit, and practical advice.
In this article, we’ll cover everything from crafting an irresistible profile that’ll have women swooning over your virtual persona to ensuring that your clandestine escapades remain on the down-low. After all, discretion is the name of the game on Ashley Madison (especially when you are cheating on your wife), and I’m here to provide you with top-notch tips to help you maintain your privacy while exploring new romantic opportunities.
As you delve into the depths of the platform, you’ll become well-versed in navigating its features, utilizing filters effectively, and making the most of the unique ‘Traveling Man’ feature. This feature allows you to connect with potential matches in other cities, making your business trips a tad more interesting. And if you’re worried about managing your digital tokens of affection, fear not! We’ll also give you the lowdown on understanding Ashley Madison’s credit system, and maybe how to get message without even having to pay.
Before I go ahead and share my 50 tips, I will say that writing this article, the landscape has changed a lot. People like me have gotten bored with their site, their UX and overall the number of choices on there. For me it seems to have lost its excitement and a large swath of its customer base. Times have moved on and there’s a plethora of new alternatives to Ashley Madison, with my most recommended being Adult Friend Finder. For me, this has been my go to site, but I have friends you have had huge success using many more.
So, buckle up gentleman and prepare to embark on a journey filled with excitement, intrigue, and maybe just a touch of danger. As you explore the world of Ashley Madison, always remember our golden rule: “Life is short, so make the most of these 50 tips and tricks!”
50 Ashley Madison Tips & Tricks From A Seasoned User
1) Choose an appealing and unique username
Your username is like the opening credits to the movie of your dating life on Ashley Madison. It sets the stage and creates intrigue, making it crucial to choose a memorable and distinctive one. Avoid clichés and overly suggestive names, which can make you come across as desperate or unoriginal. Instead, craft a username that reflects your personality, interests, or even your favorite TV shows and movies.
A witty and clever username can make potential matches chuckle and pique their curiosity. For example, if you’re a fan of “Game of Thrones” and enjoy hiking, you could opt for something like “MountainKingInTheNorth.” Or, if you’re a dog lover with a penchant for 90s sitcoms, consider “BarksAndRecreation.” These types of usernames not only showcase your interests but also exhibit a sense of humor.
Injecting a bit of wordplay into your username can be an excellent strategy. For instance, if you’re into photography, “LensAndChill” could be a fun spin on the popular phrase “Netflix and chill.” Alternatively, if you’re a fan of both “Star Wars” and cooking, you might try “DarthCulinary.”
When crafting your username, remember to keep it light-hearted and engaging. By making it a conversation starter, you’ll increase the likelihood of potential matches reaching out to you. Just think how much more memorable “JurassicParkourEnthusiast” would be compared to the all-too-common “JohnDoe123.”
2) Select a high-quality, captivating profile picture
Your profile picture is like the movie poster for the blockbuster film of your dating life on Ashley Madison. It should be eye-catching, enthralling, and leave potential matches wanting more. A high-quality, well-lit photo that showcases your best features is essential for making a lasting digital first impression.
Avoid the “Where’s Waldo?” effect by steering clear of group photos or images where your face is obscured. You don’t want potential matches squinting at your picture, trying to decipher which person you are, like they’re stuck in a scene from “Sherlock Holmes.” Make sure you’re the main attraction, front and center, in your profile picture.
Take inspiration from the famous “Mona Lisa” smile – it’s enigmatic, engaging, and keeps people guessing. A genuine smile can make you appear approachable and friendly, and as a bonus, it showcases your pearly whites. You don’t need to go full “Friends” Ross Geller with an overly bright smile, but a warm, inviting grin can go a long way in attracting connections.
When choosing your profile picture, think about what story you want to tell. Are you the adventurous Indiana Jones type, with photos from your latest escapades? Or do you prefer the suave James Bond vibe, posing in a sophisticated outfit? Whatever your style, let your personality shine through and captivate potential matches.
Don’t be afraid to get creative and think outside the box. Take a cue from classic sitcom “Seinfeld” and consider a photo with a quirky background, like Kramer’s infamous portrait – just remember to make sure your face is still the focal point.
3) Write an intriguing and witty bio
Your bio is like the opening monologue of your favorite late-night talk show – it sets the tone, showcases your personality, and gets potential matches interested in what you have to say. This is your opportunity to grab their attention, infuse your bio with humor, and leave them wanting more.
When crafting your bio, think of it as a mini-stand-up comedy routine. Keep it concise and engaging, peppered with amusing anecdotes or clever quips. Perhaps you’re a fan of “The Office” and want to mention how you’re seeking the Pam to your Jim on Ashley Madison. Or maybe you’re a die-hard “Star Wars” enthusiast looking for someone to explore galaxies far, far away with.
Mention your hobbies and interests in a creative way that showcases your unique personality. For instance, if you’re a foodie, you could say, “In search of a partner to help me on my quest to try every pizza joint in the city – must love pineapple as a topping!” Or if you’re a fitness enthusiast, you could write, “Looking for someone who can keep up with me on hikes and won’t mind me quoting ‘Rocky’ every time we conquer a new trail.”
Avoid negativity or excessive demands in your bio, as these can come across as off-putting and reminiscent of a villain in a Disney movie. Instead, focus on what you can offer and the kind of connection you’re seeking. This positive approach will make you seem approachable and more likely to attract like-minded matches.
Incorporating pop culture references can be a great conversation starter and showcase your shared interests. For example, you could say, “Seeking the Ron to my Hermione for a magical adventure,” or “Looking for a partner in crime to binge-watch ‘Breaking Bad’ with and debate the merits of Walter White’s decisions.”
4) Be honest about your intentions and relationship status
Honesty may be the best policy, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun and witty as well. When it comes to your intentions on Ashley Madison, think of yourself as the protagonist in a romantic comedy – you’re on a quest for love (or lust), and you want your potential matches to know exactly what you’re looking for.
Being transparent about your desires is like laying out the plot of your own personal rom-com. Clearly state whether you’re seeking a casual fling worthy of a “Friends with Benefits” storyline, an ongoing affair reminiscent of “The Affair,” or something else entirely – perhaps a “When Harry Met Sally” connection that defies expectations.
By injecting humor into your intentions, you’ll not only make your bio more engaging but also ensure that you attract compatible matches. For example, you could write, “Searching for my very own ‘Fifty Shades’ experience, but with more laughter and less brooding,” or “Ready to embark on a ‘Bridget Jones’-style adventure, minus the diary entries and blue soup mishaps.”
Don’t shy away from your relationship status either – embrace it with wit and honesty. If you’re married and looking for some excitement, you might say, “I’ve got my very own ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’ situation going on, and I’m looking for someone to spice things up.” Or if you’re single and seeking a unique connection, consider writing, “Navigating the dating world like a ‘Sex and the City’ character, but in search of my own unique story.”
5) Regularly update your profile with fresh information and photos
Think of your Ashley Madison profile as a long-running TV series – to keep your audience engaged, you’ll need to provide fresh content and new twists regularly. By updating your profile with new information and photos, you’ll keep potential matches intrigued and showcase your evolving interests and experiences.
Spice up your profile like a new season of your favorite show – add a plot twist with a recently discovered hobby or an exciting trip you’ve taken. For instance, if you’ve recently taken up salsa dancing, you could write, “Just started channeling my inner ‘Dirty Dancing’ moves on the salsa dance floor. Care to join me for a dance?” Or perhaps you’ve recently explored the culinary world and could mention, “Currently on a mission to master every dish from ‘Chef’s Table’ – any brave taste testers out there?”
Swapping out old photos for new ones is like releasing a fresh teaser trailer. It keeps your audience on their toes and showcases different aspects of your life. If you’ve recently attended a themed party, share a picture of your creative costume – it could be anything from a “Game of Thrones” ensemble to dressing up as your favorite “Avengers” character. Or if you’ve taken up a new sport, share an action shot that highlights your newfound passion.
6) Use a separate, dedicated email address for your account
Creating a dedicated email address for your Ashley Madison account is like assuming a secret identity in a superhero movie – it helps you maintain your privacy and keeps your online dating life separate from your everyday existence. This way, you can ensure better discretion and minimize the risk of an accidental “Spider-Man revealing his identity to the world” moment.
Consider this new email address your very own Batcave – a private, secluded space where you can manage your dating escapades without any unwanted intrusions. Much like Clark Kent’s glasses, this dedicated email address will act as a clever disguise, allowing you to keep your personal and professional correspondence separate from your dating adventures.
When creating your dedicated email address, have some fun with it – channel your inner “Men in Black” agent and create a name that’s both amusing and untraceable. For instance, if you’re a history buff, consider something like “AlexanderTheDiscreet” or “IncognitoNapoleon.”
7) Enable two-factor authentication for added security
In the world of online dating, protecting your privacy is as crucial as Agent 007 safeguarding classified information. By enabling two-factor authentication (2FA) for your Ashley Madison account, you’ll be adding an extra layer of security that even Q would approve of.
Think of 2FA as the top-secret password-protected briefcase in a spy movie – not only does it provide an extra level of protection, but it also makes you feel like you’re part of an elite team of undercover operatives. When you enable 2FA, you’ll be required to enter a verification code sent to your phone or email each time you log in, ensuring that only you can access your account.
Enabling 2FA is like equipping yourself with Batman’s utility belt – it’s a valuable tool that can help keep your online dating life safe from nefarious characters lurking in the shadows. Much like Tony Stark’s Iron Man suit, 2FA is a powerful defense mechanism that helps protect your privacy and maintain the integrity of your Ashley Madison account.
8) Be cautious when sharing location information
Navigating the world of online dating can sometimes feel like stepping into a thrilling spy thriller – filled with intrigue, adventure, and the need for discretion. When it comes to sharing location information on Ashley Madison, adopting the cautious mindset of a secret agent like Jason Bourne can be a wise approach.
Think of your location data as the top-secret headquarters in a blockbuster spy film – revealing too much too soon could put your mission at risk. Much like Ethan Hunt from “Mission: Impossible,” it’s essential to maintain your anonymity and be cautious when sharing your whereabouts with potential matches.
When discussing your favorite local spots or planning a meet-up, be as vague as the ending of “Inception.” Instead of giving away specific details, use broader terms to describe your location, like saying you live “near a popular park” or “just a few blocks from that famous landmark.” This way, you’ll maintain an air of mystery while still providing a general sense of your whereabouts.
9) Avoid oversharing personal details in your profile or early conversations
Navigating the world of online dating is like walking the fine line between Ross Geller’s “We were on a break!” and Chandler Bing’s “Could I BE any more vague?” Much like these iconic “Friends” characters, you’ll want to strike a balance between sharing enough information to be interesting and maintaining your privacy by not oversharing personal details.
Picture your profile and early conversations like a trailer for an upcoming movie – you want to give potential matches a taste of what’s to come without revealing all the juicy plot twists. Be mindful of the information you share, and keep in mind that even small details can inadvertently reveal your identity, much like a “How I Met Your Mother” clue that eventually leads to the mother’s unveiling.
Instead of divulging specifics about your occupation, try a more general approach – say you work “in the tech industry” or “in the world of finance.” This way, you’ll keep your potential matches intrigued without giving away your LinkedIn profile in a single sentence.
10) Consider using a VPN for additional privacy
Venturing into the realm of online dating can feel like embarking on a quest for the “One Ring” in “The Lord of the Rings” – a journey filled with adventure, unexpected twists, and the need for utmost discretion. When it comes to protecting your privacy on Ashley Madison, utilizing a VPN (Virtual Private Network) is like summoning the power of the “cloak of invisibility” from “Harry Potter.”
Much like the intrepid hobbits hiding from the ever-watchful Eye of Sauron, a VPN helps you maintain your anonymity online by masking your IP address and encrypting your internet connection. With a VPN, you’ll be as stealthy as a ninja in a “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” episode, ensuring that your online dating activities remain private and secure.
11) Familiarize yourself with Ashley Madison’s features and functions
Mastering the ins and outs of Ashley Madison is like learning the rules of Jumanji – it’s essential to unlocking the full potential of the game and ensuring you stay ahead of any surprises that come your way. By familiarizing yourself with the platform’s features and functions, you’ll be like Tony Stark in his Iron Man suit – a dating powerhouse equipped with the latest technology and capabilities.
Much like assembling a team of “Avengers,” Ashley Madison offers a plethora of features designed to help you connect with your ideal match. From private messaging to chat rooms and virtual gifts, you’ll find plenty of tools at your disposal, all aimed at helping you build connections and boost your dating success.
12) Use search filters effectively to find compatible matches
Venturing into the world of online dating can sometimes feel like sifting through countless profiles in search of the perfect match – much like Indiana Jones hunting for lost artifacts in “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” To streamline your quest for dating success on Ashley Madison, using search filters effectively is the key – it’s like having your very own “Sorting Hat” from the “Harry Potter” series to guide you to compatible connections.
Think of search filters as your dating GPS – they help you navigate the vast landscape of potential matches and zero in on those who share your interests and desires. Just like Sherlock Holmes using his powers of deduction, you can apply filters to find profiles that align with your preferences, from age and location to specific interests and relationship goals.
13) Take advantage of the ‘Traveling Man/Woman’ feature when visiting other cities
Navigating the world of online dating while traveling can feel like stepping into a thrilling “James Bond” mission – a globe-trotting adventure filled with excitement, romance, and the allure of new connections. To make the most of your dating experiences on Ashley Madison when visiting other cities, embrace the ‘Traveling Man/Woman’ feature – it’s like having your very own “Doctor Who” TARDIS to transport you to exciting new destinations and encounters.
Picture the ‘Traveling Man/Woman’ feature as your personal dating teleporter, much like the one used by the X-Men’s Nightcrawler, allowing you to connect with potential matches in other cities before you even arrive. By using this feature, you’ll be able to pre-plan your dating escapades, ensuring you have a roster of exciting connections waiting for you at your destination – just like Bond meeting his local contacts in exotic locales.
14) Understand and manage the platform’s credit system
Navigating the credit system on Ashley Madison can feel like playing a strategic game of “Monopoly” – it’s all about managing your resources wisely to maximize your chances of success. By understanding and effectively managing the platform’s credit system, you’ll be like a “Wolf of Wall Street” trader, skillfully leveraging your assets for the best possible return on your investment.
Think of Ashley Madison’s credit system as your personal dating currency, much like the coins used in “Mario Kart” to unlock new features and opportunities. By purchasing and utilizing credits, you can access premium features like initiating conversations, sending gifts, and boosting your profile visibility, all aimed at enhancing your dating experience.
So, don your “Ocean’s Eleven” poker face and embrace the world of credit management on Ashley Madison. By understanding and effectively managing the platform’s credit system, you’ll be well on your way to becoming a dating powerhouse, maximizing your opportunities for connection and romance while keeping your investments in check.
15) Send engaging and personalized first messages
Crafting the perfect first message on Ashley Madison can feel like penning a witty one-liner for a sitcom – it’s all about striking the right balance between humor, intrigue, and personalization. By sending engaging and personalized first messages, you’ll be like a master wordsmith on a hit TV show, capturing the attention and interest of your audience with your clever wit and charm.
Picture your first message as an icebreaker at a “Friends” Central Perk-style coffeehouse, setting the stage for a captivating conversation with your potential match. Instead of relying on generic pickup lines or copy-pasting a generic message, take the time to read their profile and tailor your opening line to their interests or something unique about them. It’s like the “How I Met Your Mother” playbook – the more thought and effort you put into your message, the better your chances of sparking a connection.
16) Ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation flowing
Keeping a conversation flowing on Ashley Madison can feel like being a contestant on “Jeopardy!” – it’s all about asking the right questions and engaging your potential match in a lively exchange of ideas. By asking open-ended questions, you’ll be like a skilled interviewer on a late-night talk show, effortlessly guiding the conversation and creating a genuine connection with your guest.
Picture your conversation as a dance routine from “La La Land” – the key to success lies in the intricate interplay between you and your partner. Instead of firing off a barrage of yes-or-no questions that can quickly bring the conversation to a standstill, opt for open-ended inquiries that encourage your match to share more about themselves, their interests, and their experiences, much like a captivating story arc in a critically acclaimed drama series.
17) Be genuine, respectful, and attentive in your interactions
Navigating the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like stepping onto the set of a reality TV show – it’s all about building connections, creating chemistry, and showcasing your best qualities. By being genuine, respectful, and attentive in your interactions, you’ll be like the fan-favorite contestant that captures the hearts of both your potential matches and the audience at home.
Picture your online interactions as a heart-to-heart conversation in a romantic comedy – the key to winning over your potential match is authenticity and sincerity. Instead of trying to adopt a persona or impress with exaggerated claims, embrace your true self and let your unique qualities shine through, much like the memorable characters in a coming-of-age drama.
18) Know when to take the conversation off the platform
Once you’ve established trust and rapport with a potential match, consider moving the conversation to a more personal platform, such as email or phone. This can help create a more intimate connection and show that you’re serious about taking things to the next level.
19) Establish boundaries and expectations with potential matches
Clear communication is key to a successful dating experience. Discuss your boundaries, preferences, and expectations with potential matches to ensure that you’re on the same page and can navigate your connection with mutual understanding and respect.
20) Look out for red flags and potential scams
Setting the stage for a successful online dating experience on Ashley Madison can feel like carefully crafting the plot of a riveting mystery novel – it’s all about clarity, communication, and ensuring that everyone is on the same page. By establishing boundaries and expectations with potential matches, you’ll be like the skilled detective in a thrilling whodunit, expertly piecing together the puzzle of your romantic connections.
Think of your dating journey as a captivating “choose your own adventure” story, where you and your potential match navigate the twists and turns of your unique relationship. Instead of leaving things to chance or misinterpretation, take the time to discuss your boundaries and expectations openly and honestly, much like the candid confessions in a gripping memoir.
21) Trust your instincts and prioritize your safety
Navigating the online dating landscape on Ashley Madison can feel like embarking on an epic journey through a fantasy novel – it’s full of excitement, adventure, and the occasional unexpected challenge. By trusting your instincts and prioritizing your safety, you’ll be like the wise and resourceful hero in a thrilling saga, expertly maneuvering through the twists and turns of your romantic quest.
Consider your dating experiences as an intricate labyrinth, much like the ones featured in a gripping sci-fi thriller. As you explore the various connections and conversations, rely on your intuition to guide you through the maze of potential matches. If something feels off or raises a red flag, trust your gut and proceed with caution, just as a skilled secret agent would in a high-stakes espionage mission.
22) Arrange initial meetings in public places
Embarking on the journey of meeting potential matches from Ashley Madison can feel like stepping into the world of a captivating romantic comedy – it’s filled with anticipation, excitement, and the hope of discovering a genuine connection. By arranging initial meetings in public places, you’ll be like the savvy and safety-conscious protagonist in a feel-good film, ensuring that your romantic encounters are both enjoyable and secure.
Picture your first in-person meeting as a scene from a charming, heartwarming movie. As you and your potential match prepare to meet, choose a location that’s both comfortable and public, much like the bustling café or scenic park featured in a blockbuster romance. This ensures that your meeting takes place in a safe, neutral environment, setting the stage for a memorable and secure rendezvous.
23) Practice safe digital communication and maintain discretion throughout your interactions
Delving into the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like navigating a thrilling spy thriller – it’s full of intrigue, clandestine encounters, and the need for discretion. By practicing safe digital communication and maintaining discretion throughout your interactions, you’ll be like the skilled and cautious secret agent in a gripping espionage saga, ensuring that your romantic adventures remain under wraps and secure.
Consider your dating journey as a high-stakes game of cat and mouse, with each interaction requiring a delicate balance of openness and confidentiality. As you communicate with potential matches, embrace your inner 007 and employ secure messaging practices, just as a seasoned spy would when transmitting classified information in a suspenseful spy caper.
24) Be open to exploring different types of connections and experiences
Venturing into the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like embarking on a thrilling journey through a captivating anthology – each connection and experience offers a unique story, brimming with potential for excitement, growth, and discovery. By being open to exploring different types of connections and experiences, you’ll be like the adventurous protagonist in a fascinating collection of tales, ready to embrace the unexpected and revel in the unknown.
Consider your dating journey as a vibrant mosaic, much like the tapestry of characters and narratives featured in a spellbinding TV series. As you engage with potential matches and explore various relationships, approach each encounter with curiosity and openness, just as a daring explorer would when venturing into uncharted territories in an enthralling adventure flick.
25) Keep a sense of humor and stay light-hearted in your conversations
Navigating the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like tuning into an engaging sitcom – it’s filled with witty banter, amusing anecdotes, and the occasional dose of awkwardness. By keeping a sense of humor and staying light-hearted in your conversations, you’ll be like the charismatic lead in a beloved comedy series, setting the stage for fun and laughter-filled connections.
Think of your dating journey as a laugh-out-loud comedy sketch, with each interaction offering the chance for playful repartee and entertaining exchanges. As you chat with potential matches, embrace your inner comedic genius and let your sense of humor shine, just as a hilarious character would in a side-splitting stand-up routine.
26) Show genuine interest in getting to know your matches
Venturing into the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like stepping into the pages of a compelling novel – each connection offers the opportunity to learn about someone’s unique story, filled with intricate layers, captivating anecdotes, and the potential for shared adventures. By showing genuine interest in getting to know your matches, you’ll be like the attentive and empathetic protagonist in a heartwarming tale, fostering meaningful connections built on understanding and curiosity.
Visualize your dating journey as an intriguing mystery, with each interaction revealing new clues and insights into your potential match’s personality and history. As you engage in conversation, embrace your inner detective and ask thoughtful questions, just as a skilled investigator would when piecing together the puzzle of a captivating whodunit.
27) Be patient and understand that finding the right match may take time
Embarking on the journey of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like joining the cast of a captivating reality show – it’s full of intriguing personalities, unexpected twists, and the quest for a perfect match. By being patient and understanding that finding the right connection may take time, you’ll be like the level-headed contestant in a thrilling dating competition, staying the course and keeping your eye on the ultimate prize: a meaningful and fulfilling connection.
Visualize your dating journey as an enthralling treasure hunt, with each interaction offering clues and hints towards discovering that elusive and priceless gem – a compatible and lasting match. As you engage with potential partners, embrace your inner Indiana Jones and exhibit patience and perseverance, just as a determined adventurer would when seeking the hidden riches of a legendary lost city.
28) Don’t be discouraged by rejection or setbacks; stay persistent
Diving into the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like participating in an exciting game show – it’s full of thrilling challenges, unexpected obstacles, and the pursuit of a grand prize: a meaningful connection with someone special. By not being discouraged by rejection or setbacks and staying persistent, you’ll be like the tenacious competitor in a high-stakes contest, overcoming hurdles and keeping your eyes on the end goal.
Envision your dating journey as an exhilarating obstacle course, with each interaction offering opportunities to learn, grow, and adapt. As you connect with potential matches, embrace your inner Rocky Balboa and exhibit resilience and determination, just as a committed athlete would when training for a championship bout.
29) Celebrate your successes and learn from any challenges
Embarking on the journey of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like taking part in a captivating personal growth story – it’s full of opportunities for self-discovery, celebrating triumphs, and learning valuable lessons from setbacks. By acknowledging your successes and using challenges as learning experiences, you’ll be like the self-reflective protagonist in an empowering tale of transformation, evolving and growing with each new encounter.
Picture your dating journey as a riveting adventure, with each interaction providing chances for personal development and growth. As you engage with potential matches, embrace your inner Luke Skywalker and approach every experience with an open heart and mind, just as a courageous hero would when facing the unknown in a spellbinding epic.
30) Keep a balance between your online dating life and other aspects of your life
Venturing into the realm of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like stepping onto the set of a thrilling TV series – it’s full of captivating characters, engaging plotlines, and the pursuit of romantic connections. By maintaining a balance between your online dating life and other aspects of your life, you’ll be like the well-rounded protagonist in a compelling drama, juggling multiple facets of life while keeping your priorities in check.
Consider your dating journey as a gripping narrative, with each interaction adding depth and color to your personal storyline. As you connect with potential matches, embrace your inner Don Draper and approach your dating life with a sense of equilibrium, just as a multifaceted character would when navigating the complexities of work, relationships, and personal growth in a riveting period drama.
31) Respect the privacy and boundaries of others on the platform
Just as you value your privacy, be respectful of the privacy and boundaries of your matches. Be mindful of the information you request and the expectations you place on others.
32) Be open to giving and receiving feedback to improve your dating experience
Exploring the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like participating in a transformative reality show – it’s full of opportunities for self-improvement, meaningful connections, and candid feedback. By being open to giving and receiving feedback, you’ll be like the growth-minded contestant in a captivating social experiment, continuously learning and adapting to enhance your dating experience.
Think of your dating journey as a stimulating personal development workshop, with each interaction providing valuable insights and lessons. As you engage with potential matches, embrace your inner Ted Lasso and approach feedback with an open mind and heart, just as a supportive coach would when fostering growth and development in a heartwarming sports comedy.
34) Maintain a positive attitude and focus on the potential for exciting new connections
Navigating the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like stepping into a heartwarming romantic comedy – it’s full of surprising twists, engaging characters, and the promise of exciting new connections. By maintaining a positive attitude and focusing on the potential for meeting interesting people, you’ll be like the optimistic protagonist in an enchanting love story, ready to embrace life’s adventures and unexpected romances.
Picture your dating journey as a delightful narrative, with each interaction offering the chance to discover new connections and exciting possibilities. As you engage with potential matches, channel your inner Amélie Poulain and approach your dating life with a sense of wonder and optimism, just as a whimsical character would when exploring the magic and charm of a captivating French film.
35) Stay informed about changes and updates on Ashley Madison
Delving into the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like joining a suspenseful mystery series – it’s full of unexpected developments, evolving storylines, and the potential for thrilling connections. By staying informed about changes and updates on the platform, you’ll be like the resourceful detective in an enthralling whodunit, always ready to adapt and uncover new opportunities for romance.
Envision your dating journey as an intriguing puzzle, with each update and change presenting new pieces to explore and fit together. As you interact with potential matches, channel your inner Sherlock Holmes and approach the ever-evolving landscape of Ashley Madison with curiosity and determination, just as a brilliant investigator would when solving a captivating case in a gripping crime drama.
36) Be adaptable and willing to adjust your approach if needed
Venturing into the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like being part of an exhilarating reality show – it’s full of unpredictable challenges, shifting dynamics, and opportunities for growth. By being adaptable and willing to adjust your approach, you’ll be like the resourceful contestant in a high-stakes competition, always prepared to pivot and seize new chances for romantic connections.
Picture your dating journey as a thrilling game, with each interaction offering valuable insights and opportunities to refine your strategy. As you engage with potential matches, channel your inner “Survivor” contestant and approach the ever-changing environment of Ashley Madison with determination and flexibility, just as a skilled competitor would when outwitting opponents in a riveting tropical adventure.
37) Keep an open mind and be willing to explore new aspects of your desires
Embarking on your Ashley Madison journey can feel like stepping into a captivating fantasy series – it’s full of fascinating characters, uncharted territories, and opportunities for self-discovery. By keeping an open mind and being willing to explore new aspects of your desires, you’ll be like the curious adventurer in an enchanting saga, ready to embrace the unknown and uncover hidden treasures.
38) Practice effective time management to make the most of your Ashley Madison experience
Navigating the world of Ashley Madison can feel like starring in a thrilling time-travel adventure – it’s full of exciting encounters, unexpected twists, and opportunities to make the most of every moment. By practicing effective time management, you’ll be like the ingenious time-traveler in a gripping saga, adept at seizing opportunities and making the most of your exhilarating journey.
Envision your dating experience as an exhilarating race against the clock, with each interaction offering valuable lessons and chances to refine your approach. As you engage with potential matches, channel your inner protagonist from a pulse-pounding thriller, and tackle the challenges of Ashley Madison with strategic planning and a keen eye on the clock, just as a skilled operative would when diffusing a high-stakes situation.
39) Know your own limits and communicate them clearly to your matches
Venturing into the world of Ashley Madison can feel like embarking on an epic journey of self-discovery – it’s full of intriguing encounters, valuable lessons, and opportunities to learn more about yourself. By knowing your own limits and communicating them clearly to your matches, you’ll be like the self-aware protagonist in a captivating narrative, adept at expressing your needs and forging meaningful connections.
Picture your dating adventure as a poignant coming-of-age tale, with each interaction offering the chance to grow and understand yourself more deeply. As you engage with potential matches, channel your inner hero from a heartfelt drama, and approach your journey with honesty and self-awareness, just as a wise protagonist would when navigating the complexities of life and love.
40) Be honest with yourself about your expectations and desires
Embarking on your Ashley Madison adventure can feel like stepping into a mesmerizing character study – it’s full of fascinating encounters, illuminating moments, and opportunities to delve deeper into your own motivations and desires. By being honest with yourself about your expectations and desires, you’ll be like the insightful protagonist in an engaging narrative, adept at understanding your own needs and pursuing fulfilling connections.
Envision your dating journey as a rich exploration of the human experience, with each interaction offering the chance to learn more about your authentic self. As you connect with potential matches, channel your inner lead from a compelling drama, and approach your journey with sincerity and introspection, just as a perceptive character would when grappling with the intricacies of their own heart.
41) Utilize the platform’s resources and support options if needed
Diving into the world of Ashley Madison can feel like embarking on a thrilling adventure – it’s full of captivating encounters, unexpected twists, and opportunities to make the most of the platform’s resources. By utilizing Ashley Madison’s resources and support options when needed, you’ll be like the resourceful protagonist in an exhilarating tale, adept at overcoming obstacles and forging meaningful connections.
Picture your dating journey as a riveting quest, with each interaction offering the chance to learn more about the platform and its various features. As you engage with potential matches, channel your inner hero from an action-packed blockbuster, and approach your journey with a willingness to seek help and guidance, just as a fearless adventurer would when facing seemingly insurmountable challenges.
42) Keep track of your interactions and follow up with potential matches
Navigating the realm of Ashley Madison can feel like unfolding a complex and intriguing plot – it’s full of captivating encounters, meaningful connections, and opportunities to keep track of your interactions. By staying organized and following up with potential matches, you’ll be like the attentive protagonist in a riveting drama, adept at maintaining meaningful relationships and fostering deeper connections.
43) Remain discrete and considerate of others’ privacy, both online and offline
Venturing into the world of Ashley Madison can feel like entering a sophisticated and enigmatic narrative – it’s full of intriguing encounters, delicate situations, and opportunities to practice discretion. By remaining discrete and considerate of others’ privacy, you’ll be like the diplomatic protagonist in an engrossing story, adept at handling sensitive matters and fostering trust with those around you.
44) Embrace the learning process and strive for self-improvement
Embarking on the journey with Ashley Madison can feel like stepping into an inspiring and transformative narrative – it’s full of enriching experiences, personal growth, and opportunities to embrace the learning process. By striving for self-improvement and continually evolving, you’ll be like the dynamic protagonist in an uplifting tale, adept at overcoming challenges and discovering your true potential.
Picture your dating journey as a coming-of-age story, with each interaction offering the chance to learn more about yourself and the world of online dating. As you engage with others on the platform, channel your inner adventurer from a beloved film and approach your journey with a commitment to growth, just as a determined character would when facing life-changing experiences.
45) Create a sense of mystery and intrigue in your interactions
Diving into the world of Ashley Madison can feel like immersing yourself in a spellbinding and enigmatic narrative – it’s full of tantalizing encounters, captivating connections, and opportunities to create a sense of mystery and intrigue. By weaving an air of mystique into your interactions, you’ll be like the charismatic protagonist in a riveting tale, adept at piquing curiosity and drawing others into your captivating world.
Envision your dating journey as a mesmerizing romance novel, with each interaction offering the chance to learn more about your potential matches while keeping them guessing. As you engage with others on the platform, channel your inner charmer from a popular series and approach your journey with a flair for the mysterious, just as an alluring character would when weaving a web of enchantment.
46) Set realistic expectations for your online dating journey
Embarking on the adventure with Ashley Madison can feel like stepping into a captivating and insightful narrative – it’s full of eye-opening experiences, valuable lessons, and opportunities to set realistic expectations. By managing your expectations and adopting a pragmatic outlook, you’ll be like the wise protagonist in an enlightening tale, adept at navigating the world of online dating with a clear and grounded perspective.
47) Practice active listening in your conversations
Delving into the world of Ashley Madison can feel like embarking on a compelling and emotionally rich narrative – it’s full of heartfelt exchanges, genuine connections, and opportunities to practice active listening. By honing your listening skills and genuinely engaging with your matches, you’ll be like the empathetic protagonist in a moving tale, adept at forging deep connections and understanding others on a profound level.
Picture your dating journey as a poignant drama, with each interaction offering the chance to learn more about your potential matches and their unique stories. As you engage with others on the platform, channel your inner confidant from an emotionally resonant film and approach your journey with a commitment to active listening, just as a compassionate character would when providing solace and support.
48) Be prepared for the ups and downs of online dating
Venturing into the world of Ashley Madison can feel like embarking on a roller coaster ride – it’s full of exhilarating highs, challenging lows, and opportunities to embrace the ups and downs of online dating. By preparing yourself for the inevitable twists and turns, you’ll be like the resilient protagonist in a thrilling tale, adept at facing the unexpected and remaining adaptable in the face of change.
49) Stay open to feedback from your matches
Navigating the thrilling world of Ashley Madison can feel like a gripping TV series, full of plot twists, character development, and unexpected revelations. As you explore this exhilarating landscape, it’s essential to stay open to feedback from your matches. By doing so, you’ll be like the ever-evolving protagonist in a binge-worthy drama, ready to learn from experiences and grow as a person.
Envision your dating journey as an engrossing story arc, where each interaction offers a chance for self-reflection and growth. As you connect with others on the platform, channel your inner lead from a critically acclaimed show and embrace the opportunity to learn from your matches’ feedback, just as a multifaceted character would when facing life’s challenges and triumphs.
50) Enjoy the journey and have fun
Diving into the world of Ashley Madison can be like jumping into a fun-filled, feel-good sitcom, brimming with laughter, surprises, and memorable moments. As you embark on this lively adventure, remember to enjoy the journey and have fun. By adopting a lighthearted attitude, you’ll be like the lovable characters in your favorite comedy series, finding joy in the unexpected and embracing the lighter side of life.
Picture your dating experience as an entertaining episode, where each interaction presents an opportunity to laugh, learn, and make lasting memories. As you engage with others on the platform, channel your inner sitcom star and approach each encounter with a playful spirit, just as the quirky characters in a long-running comedy would when navigating life’s twists and turns.
Conclusion
Armed with these tips and tricks, you’ll be like Neo in “The Matrix,” dodging dating disasters and outsmarting the obstacles on your way to success. From crafting an irresistible online dating profile (think James Bond meets Ryan Gosling) to mastering the art of engaging communication, you’ll have the skills to woo your matches like a seasoned pro. Studies have shown that having a well-written profile can make a significant impact on your dating success, with 52% of users finding profiles with well-crafted bios more attractive.
In summary, these tips and tricks will have you feeling as confident as Tony Stark at a tech conference, charming your way through the exciting world of AM. So suit up, gentlemen, and get ready to make the most of your experience on this discreet dating platform. With a little luck and a lot of savvy, you’ll be well on your way to creating your own blockbuster love story. Let the credits roll!
FAQs
How can I improve my profile to attract more matches?
To improve your profile, use high-quality photos that showcase your personality and interests. Write a concise and engaging bio, highlighting your unique qualities and what you’re looking for in a match. Update your profile regularly to keep it fresh and interesting.
What should I include in my opening message to grab attention?
Craft a personalized and engaging opening message by referencing something from the recipient’s profile. Show genuine interest and ask open-ended questions to spark conversation. Avoid generic or overly forward messages that might come across as insincere or pushy.
How can I maintain discretion while using Ashley Madison?
To maintain discretion, use a separate email and phone number for your Ashley Madison communications. Limit conversations to the platform until you feel comfortable sharing contact information, and exercise caution when connecting with matches on social media.
How can I optimize my search to find the best potential matches?
Use the platform’s advanced search features to filter your matches based on specific criteria such as location, age, interests, and relationship status. Experiment with different search combinations to find the best potential matches for your preferences.
How do I spot and avoid scams or fake profiles on the platform?
Be vigilant and trust your instincts when interacting with profiles or users. Look for signs of authenticity, such as verified profiles and well-written bios. If something feels off, disengage and report any suspicious activity to Ashley Madison’s customer support.
How can I make the most of the features Ashley Madison offers?
Explore and utilize Ashley Madison’s features like Priority Man, Traveling Man, and customizable search filters to enhance your experience on the platform. These features can help you increase your visibility, connect with matches in new locations, and refine your search for the ideal partner.
What can I do to ensure a successful in-person date with a match?
For a successful in-person date, choose a neutral and public location, communicate openly about your expectations, and remain respectful and considerate throughout the encounter. Always prioritize safety by informing a trusted friend of your plans and trusting your instincts during the date.
