Something Casual Meaning
Have you been playing the field for some time now? When navigating the world of online dating, you’ve probably come across your fair share of profiles saying someone is only interested in a casual relationship. Casual dating is on the rise, with apps making it easier than ever for people to skip the small talk and get straight down to what’s important.
However, in real life, casual arrangements don’t work for everyone. If you’ve recently exited a committed relationship, your idea of what casual is might not match up to the expectations of someone you’re meeting after connecting online. They might be looking for no-strings sex with multiple partners, while you’re looking to ignite the beginnings of a physical and emotional relationship.
Most people fall somewhere in between these two extremes. Pursuing something casual puts less pressure on both parties. There are no suffocating expectations about when a relationship should progress to a certain point, while physical intimacy isn’t always a declaration of undying love and long-term commitment.
Something Casual Meaning?
That being said, dealing with countless dates that go nowhere fast can be exhausting. You might have been meeting someone regularly for many months under the assumption that your relationship has now progressed to a relatively serious level. However, you can easily find the rug being pulled from under you when they reveal they’ve been seeing other people on the side. It’s not cheating they’ll claim. After all, they thought you were only looking for something casual.
Looking to streamline your way to a more serious relationship? Below, we explore what someone really means when they say they’re looking for something casual.
1. They’re Not Thinking About Long-Term Plans
Is casual dating right for you? Before you decide to engage with people claiming to be looking for something casual, step back and consider what you’re really looking for in a partner. Are you searching for someone you can eventually show off to friends and introduce to your family? Are you expecting to ingratiate your new partner into your social scene? Are you looking to have a long-term affair?
Somebody who’s only looking for a casual relationship probably isn’t going to want to get involved with your passion projects or learn about your side hustles.
With a casual relationship, there are real expectations in place. You can’t enter into things thinking that the ultimate result is a more serious relationship. That’s not to say casual flings can’t progress into something more serious, but don’t feel too disheartened if things fizzle out, rather than flourish into something long-lasting.
How do you know if someone is definitely not interested in a long-term future? There will be no discussions about long-term goals. They’ll have little interest in planning for shared experiences beyond casual fun and sex. However, before you tap out and start looking for a better long-term prospect, consider if this casual entanglement is working for you. Are you enjoying yourself? Is this relationship helping you heal from a previous one? It might be worth keeping things as they are for now.
2. They Won’t Expect Too Much From You
If you’re returning to the dating world after a long spell in a serious relationship, it can be hard to read the room with casual partners. Do you find yourself waiting for hours, if not days, to get a response from a text or voicemail? Do they drag their heels when giving you an answer to a simple question? Some people take this as a sign that someone isn’t interested and is letting them down gently. However, it’s a pretty standard hallmark of casual dating.
Casual dating has little to no expectations or obligations. That’s the entire point. While romantic feelings can easily develop, you don’t need to go above and beyond to keep your partner happy. Don’t feel like meeting up for a week or longer? Neither party should see this as a rejection. Instead, you’re simply allowing each other breathing room to get on with life and do your own thing.
The world of casual dating can prove a culture shock for many people, especially if they’ve largely been in long-term monogamous relationships before. However, if you change your way of thinking and accept that there are other ways to date, you’ll be richly rewarded.
3. They Might Not Be Interested in a Monogamous Relationship
If you’re casually dating, you’re going to have to accept that the people you’re seeing may be seeing other people simultaneously. This style of dating and casual sex often go hand in hand, but it’s not always talked about before people start meeting after connecting online or elsewhere.
If you’ve recently hooked up with someone who’s made it clear they’re looking for something casual, don’t be afraid of being upfront about whether or not this comes with an agreement that you’re free to see other people. Chances are somebody seeking something casual will at least want to explore other options during the early days of a relationship. Likewise, it’s entirely acceptable for you to pursue other people and engage in casual sex.
Naturally, all that casual sex comes with a degree of risk. As a rule, you should be practicing safe sex to protect yourself from STDs. If you’ve recently met someone looking for a casual relationship and they’ve brought up the topic of seeing other people, use this as an opportunity to bring safer sex precautions into the conversation.
Can casual dating lead to a romantic relationship? Of course it can. However, you’ll need a thick skin to move past the fact that your partner was potentially sleeping with dozens of other people during the first few months of your relationship.
4. They Won’t Expect You to Be at Their Beck and Call
The first few months of any relationship are exciting. It’s easy for us to get carried away with a rose-tinted perspective during the honeymoon period. If you’re brand new to casual dating, this giddy period of the relationship likely won’t go as exactly as you’d expect.
Do you expect an instant response to text messages and social media comments? You’re probably going to have to wait around if you’re seeing someone casually. Likewise, recalibrate your ideas about what are acceptable expectations from a casual dating partner.
For some people, a lack of immediacy reads as someone not being interested or distant. If you’re looking to replace a lack of emotional intimacy in life, you’re unlikely to find it with a casual partner. If things go well for long enough, these elements will fall into place. In the meantime, try not to force it. If you need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to bend, delve into your social circle instead.
5. It’s Not Always Strictly About Sex
Although we’ve talked about how casual dating tends to free up both parties to engage in casual sex, don’t assume someone is ready to go whenever you feel the urge to jump into bed. Looking for someone who’ll drop what they’re doing the moment you call them for a booty call? There’s an entirely different demographic for that.
Just because someone is looking for low-level commitment and a casual arrangement, doesn’t mean they’re not open to the idea of emotional connection and a more serious relationship. If you start things off by treating them as little more than a sex worker, you’re dooming your relationship to failure. Sex can peter out over time and so does the thrill of making a middle-of-the-night booty call. If you stop making the moves on someone, they might think you’ve lost interest, even if it’s just a natural winding down of the honeymoon period.
When Do Casual Relationships Turn into Something More Serious?
Although many of us like to think we’re looking for no-strings fun and casual arrangements, the majority of people will eventually want to progress to something more serious. Knowing when to spot when a casual relationship has evolved into something more genuine is important.
However, don’t enter into things assuming this will happen. Furthermore, don’t think you can steer a casual relationship towards being a committed one. You might luck out, but you’ll often only find yourself disappointed.
That being said, sometimes a serious discussion needs to be had. Think your casual fling might be turning into something more conventional? Below, we spotlight some clear signs that you’re onto a winner.
They’re Opening Up to You
The longer we spend in a relationship with someone, the more likely we have to open up to them. For many people in casual relationships, there’s little room for small talk once the evening’s finished or the sex is over. It’s not uncommon for one or both parties to make their excuses for the day once the fun is done and dusted. However, the longer you spend with someone, the less likely it is they’ll be in a rush to make a departure.
Are you talking more? Are they revealing more about themselves, their interests, and what’s going on in their lives? This is a good sign that a genuine emotional connection has formed. What’s more, if they’re actively asking for your opinion, it shows they value your input. These are all incredibly positive signs that someone is romantically interested in you. Furthermore, it’s evidence that strong foundations for a robust relationship are taking shape.
You can be pretty clear in their intentions if they’re making an effort to remember things about you. Are they asking you about how work is going? Are they remembering specific details and names of people you’ve mentioned? You’re dealing with an active listener here and, most of the time, this is a clear indicator that someone’s interest has progressed beyond casual engagement.
Sex with Other People is No Longer a Thing
If you’re dipping your toe into the casual dating scene, you’re just going to have to accept that the person you’re seeing is going to be sleeping with other people. In a twenty-first century world, it’s easier than ever for people to make last-minute arrangements with sex partners. Accepting this isn’t infidelity isn’t always easy, but it has to be done if you want to reap the benefits of casual dating.
Sometimes, people can continue seeing each other casually for many years, with both partners free to pursue other people sexually. However, it’s not a particularly healthy way to manage a relationship. The more time you spend with someone, the deeper the emotional connection. It’s only natural that you’ll start feeling uncomfortable about them being physically intimate with people who aren’t you.
A lot of people tend to walk away from a casual relationship when the thought of multiple partners becomes too much to handle. However, if you feel strongly enough about someone, don’t feel embarrassed about suggesting that the two of you explore monogamy. If they’re dead against the idea, you’re probably better off walking away and exploring other avenues. If there’s room for negotiation, seize it. Sometimes, you may have to make a compromise. Perhaps the two of you can negotiate some boundaries so you’ll remain relatively oblivious about what the other is up to with other people.
One thing you never want to do is commit to one-sided monogamy. If you’re head over heels in love with someone, it’s only natural that you’d want to remain faithful and monogamous to that person, even if they’re not granting you the same courtesy. Take this approach and you’re knowingly allowing yourself to be emotionally exploited. It will build a rotten framework for the future of your relationship and can wreak havoc on your self-esteem and mental health.
Is Casual Dating the Way Forward for You?
Casual dating has many perks, but you’ll need a strong stomach and a handle on expectations to reap the benefits. If you’re looking to play the field, casual dating is an easy way to explore multiple partners, while still maintaining the luxury of repeated encounters with people you’re genuinely interested in. For some people, casual dating can bolster their self-esteem, making it a worthwhile venture for someone whose ego has taken a beating from a toxic long-term relationship.
The main thing to remember here is that casual dating is complex. No two people are ever going to be on the same page, so clear communication is key to ensuring nobody’s feelings get hurt. Furthermore, you’ll need to rethink your approach to dating in general. Instant replies and round-the-clock emotional investment aren’t standard here.
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