7 Excuses to Get Out of the House to Cheat
Thinking about having an affair? Before you start feeling guilty, rest assured you’re in good company. More than 1-in-5 men have admitted to having at least one affair outside of their main relationship. Many of these relationships are more than a one-and-done situation. For many men, extramarital sex becomes an ongoing affair.
Excuses to Get Out of the House to Cheat
If you’re not getting it at home, you may find yourself itching to sneak off several times a week. Finding a woman outside of the marital bed is easy enough. However, finding excuses to get out of the house for a couple of hours is far trickier.
Struggling to come up with new excuses so you can go and hook up with your latest squeeze? We’ve got you covered. By the end of this article you will have more excuses to leave the house than ever before.
Excuses To Get Out Of The House To Meet Your Lover
Social Life
This excuse works like a charm. What’s more, there’s the added benefit of being able to guilt trip your other half into them thinking they’re being unreasonable. Unless your spouse has already chased away the last of your friends, you’ve probably got a social circle you can use to justify the occasional evening away from the house.
Keep it simple when using friends as an excuse for heading out for a few hours here and there. Is someone’s birthday fast approaching? You’ve got the perfect opportunity to go AWOL for a night, without arousing too much suspicion at home. However, don’t overdo it when preempting a much-needed hookup with an affair partner. The more you remind your other half about the social event you’ll apparently be attending, the more likely it is they’re going to bring it up in conversation later and the idea is not to get caught.
In a worst-case scenario, they’ll probably scour social media or ask to see photos to put their mind at ease. The good news is you can kill two birds with one stone here. If you’re using an actual event or get-together as cover to cheat, why not turn up for a quick drink and make an appearance? Make sure you’re snapped in a few photos bound for Facebook to cover all bases. If you have a close buddy you can confide in, consider letting them in on the details of your extramarital activities. If the trust is there, you have a bulletproof alibi and lifelong confidant to turn to in a pinch.
Staying with Friends
This one only really works if you’re living near to close friends you’ve known for a while. It also requires a pretty solid friendship, so only deploy this tactic if you know you can trust the buddy you’re bringing into the lie.
This approach is a natural extension of using your social circle as a cover for cheating. You can start your evening with drinks in town, before texting or calling your other half to tell them you’re heading back to a friend’s house for a nightcap.
If your relationship is fairly solid, you shouldn’t encounter too much kickback. If your spouse has an issue with a particular friend in your circle, make sure you’re not involving them in the lie. However, you’ll also want to avoid involving a friend with who you’re both close. If your spouse has a direct line of communication with them, they’ll think nothing of texting or calling them when you don’t arrive home that night.
Work, Work, Work
Burning the midnight oils at the office? Nobody likes working too hard, but you can use a hectic work schedule to your advantage. Admittedly, this is a pretty risky excuse to throw out there. Men and women have been using this one for decades. However, if you’re not going to arouse too much suspicion with the occasional late finish, it’s definitely worth trying your luck with this angle.
Of course, your success rate will depend on how suspicious your spouse is. If your place of business is located within driving distance of home, there’s always the chance your other half could do a drive-by of your office to see if you’re actually there.
They could also try calling your office landline, so bear this in mind if you’re playing the working late card too regularly. Your best bet is to bring a colleague into the lie, providing you with the perfect alibi if your wife or girlfriend starts asking too many questions.
The Business Trip
We thought about including this one in the section above. However, if you’re looking to schedule an entire weekend away from home, a last-minute business trip is a golden excuse. Don’t enter into this lie lightly though. If overnight trips or week-long excursions are a staple of your business life, you shouldn’t have too much trouble selling this story to your other half. If this kind of thing is a rarity in your line of work, you’ll need to be more creative.
Try to lay the groundwork early. Mention the potential of an upcoming business trip casually in conversation. Once you and your other woman have locked down a date for a getaway, it’s time to make your plans more concrete. Avoid handing over your entire itinerary. If your spouse knows which hotel you’ll be staying at and when you should be checking in, they’ll definitely call you to test the waters.
Playing fast and loose is the best course of action here. Any overnight trip away from home is going to arouse some level of suspicion, so be prepared for probing questions once you get back home. You should also anticipate more than a few texts and late-night calls from your other half. Whatever you do, don’t put off picking up the phone. Just one missed call is all it takes to unleash hell.
Hit the Gym
The gym is a great place to meet women. What’s more, it’s the perfect excuse for getting out of the house and meeting with other women on the side. The great thing about the gym is that most venues are open late at night or 24/7. As such, there’s nothing immediately suspicious about packing up a gym bag and getting in the car late at night.
The problem with leaning too heavily into this excuse is that you’ll need to be able to demonstrate results from all those late-night gym visits. If you’ve been telling your spouse you’re hitting the weights every other night, make sure you’re lifting at least a few sets every week.
If you do commit to some level of exercise at the gym, don’t too be surprised if your wife or girlfriend eventually asks to join you for the occasional visit. If this situation arises, it helps if you’re a familiar enough face at your local establishment.
You’ve Errands to Run
With this excuse, the only limit is your imagination. Feel free to get creative when coming up with reasons to leave the house for hours at a time. Been putting off a home repair job or DIY project? Once your other woman starts texting you from an impromptu hookup, make the excuse that you’re heading to the home depot store to pick up supplies. You’ll have to watch the clock, but you can easily argue that you’ve had to hit several stores to pick up what you need.
It’s also worth stockpiling errands exactly for this reason. When you need an excuse to leave the house for an hour or so, you have an ever-growing list of excuses to pick from. The great thing about this approach is that, provided you return home and come good on your promises, you’ll leave your other half with a smile on their face, rather than a long line of suspicious questions. Play your cards right, and you may end up scoring again once you return home.
Start an Argument
Okay, we admit that this approach might seem a little dangerous. However, there’s no better cover for getting out of the house for a few hours. By stoking the fires and triggering an argument with your other half, you’ve got the perfect reason to leave the house for as long as you like.
After all, you’re backing out to avoid further tension. Even better, look for signs that your spouse is itching for a fight themselves. Pushing a couple of buttons at just the right time is all it takes for a minor grievance to boil over into something seismic.
If the exchange is heated enough and you’ve not got any pressing work commitments, you can even avoid returning home for a couple of days. If you’ve failed to come up with a reason to cover an absence for a weekend away with your side piece, this is a perfect fallback plan.
The beauty of this approach is that your other half will probably be too embarrassed about their role in the argument to get in touch with your friends or co-workers. They’ll simply want to let things simmer down and blow over before drawing attention to the fact that the two of you have had a falling out.
Once you’ve done your thing, drop your spouse a text to let them know you’re heading home. Be civil, pointing out you’re done fighting and want to move past things. By the time you rock up at the front door with a coy smile and, if you’re feeling particularly crafty, a bouquet of flowers, all will be forgiven.
Don’t Overdo It
The most successful cheaters know what works and what doesn’t. If you plan on playing away from home regularly, you’ll need to test the waters with a few different methods. Using friends and acquaintances as alibis is an easy way to cover your tracks, but you’ll quickly learn the limits of your spouse. If they have no qualms about barraging your social circle with demanding texts and late-night calls, you’ll have to get more creative.
Are you a workaholic? A busy business schedule can prove a boon for cheating. Just be careful how you approach this one. If you’re putting in countless hours of overtime but failing to bring in any overtime, this can set alarm bells ringing. What’s more, if you’re hitched to the suspicious type, they’ll think nothing of making contact with colleagues to see what you’re really up to.
Late-night gym visits are one of the easiest ways to cheat. If you’ve yet to identify a new side piece, a typical gym is usually overflowing with suitable candidates. To completely cover your tracks, try making room for a brief gym visit after you’ve hooked up and done the deed. This way, there’s an element of truth in the lie, plus you can shower away the evidence.
When all else fails, go for the nuclear option. Starting an argument might seem counterproductive, but once you’ve lit the match, nobody’s going to raise an eyebrow when you storm out of the front door and go AWOL for a few hours.
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