What Does Cheating Say About a Person?
Cheating is more common than you might think. According to a recent survey, around 46% of people in committed relationships have engaged in infidelity at some point or other. While men have long got a bad rap for being the instigators of affairs, the gender balance has evened out in recent years. In other words, women are almost just as likely to cheat as men.
What Does Cheating Say About a Person?
Infidelity doesn’t have to mean death for a relationship. In fact, around 25% of marriages affected by affairs will weather the storm. That being said, once one partner betrays the other’s trust, it’s hard to fully repair a relationship. The pieces might be glued back together, but fractures still remain. Suspicion remains a staple of these relationships, while complete trust is rarely ever regained.
Why then do so many people choose to risk it all by jumping into bed with someone else? More to the point, what does cheating actually say about a person? Are you the guilty party who’s been caught with their pants down? Perhaps you’re the one who’s been cheated on. Understanding the reasons why people cheat can help both partners overcome infidelity.
People Cheat Because They’re Unhappy with a Relationship
This is an obvious one. Someone in a happy relationship with a full and healthy sex life isn’t likely to be looking elsewhere. Even if someone is momentarily tempted, the fact that they’re fulfilled by their primary relationship is enough to nip any ideas of playing away in the bud.
However, if someone isn’t exactly enjoying a happy home life, it’s easy to give in to temptation. A casual compliment by a flirty coworker is all it takes to get the ball rolling. A drunken fumble on a night out can easily turn into an ill-judged night of sexual infidelity.
The Love Was Never There in the First Place
Every relationship experiences a honeymoon period. Those halcyon days when everything is seen through rose-tinted glasses are great, but they quickly give way to the humdrum realities of everyday life. However, most people accept a new normal. They not be feeling that electricity every time they see their partner and nightly sex sessions may have subsided to a more occasional arrangement, but the relationship itself is still enriching.
While most relationships get off to a great start, some start badly. Many people fall into relationships for the wrong reasons. Maybe they’re seeking financial security. Perhaps they simply don’t want to be the single friend in a friendship group dominated by happy couples. In both of these scenarios, it’s easy for people to pursue loveless arrangements with partners they’re never particularly invested in.
Without any real feelings to use as a benchmark, it’s easy for people to cheat. They might realize what they’re doing is ethical, but because they don’t actually have feelings for their partner, they don’t see cheating as a genuine act of betrayal.
Low Self-Esteem
It sounds like passing the buck, but having low self-esteem can lead to people being more likely to cheat. A rock-bottom ego is a key reason why many men cheat on their partners. Why? Indulging in no-strings sex with a complete stranger is a surefire way of bolstering low self-esteem.
It’s not hard to see why so many people fall into this trap and cheat. If you don’t hold yourself in high regard and have severe hangups about your appearance, the reality of someone showing a romantic or sexual interest in you can be life-affirming. When someone shows you an ounce of unexpected attention, it’s hard to say no and not give in to your instincts.
People with low self-esteem aren’t necessarily shy and retiring types. In fact, they might actively go out looking for validation from people outside of their primary relationship. Here, we’re entering narcissist territory.
They’re Good at Lying
Being able to lie convincingly is an art form. For a habitual cheater, being able to lie well is an essential skill. If someone realizes they can easily pull the wool over their partner’s eyes, it can lead to some pretty problematic behavior. They’ll actively avoid spending time with their other half to socialize with friends or pursue their own interests. A quick spin about staying late at work or attending to family commitments is all it takes to get their spouse off their backs.
Liars are also far more likely to cheat. If they can easily convince their partner they were working late when they were downing shots with friends, coming up with a cover for a seedy night of sex with a stranger isn’t a huge leap.
They Don’t Actually Want to be in a Relationship
This isn’t the same thing as someone not being in love with the person they’re in a relationship with. Rather, it simply means that someone entered into a monogamous relationship without thinking things through. Many people in their twenties and thirties enter into committed relationships without considering the implications. In no time at all, they realize that they’re not ready to commit.
Maybe they’ve only had a few sexual partners and feel like they’re missing out. Perhaps they feel like they’ve settled for someone out of fear of not being able to find anyone else. When these feelings kick in, it’s best to step back and reconsider your options. It might be painful to break off a relationship just because you’re halfway uncertain about its future, but it’s better than breaking someone emotionally when they find out you’ve been sleeping around behind their back.
Cheating isn’t Black and White
Cheating is a complex issue. Those doing the cheating are, without a doubt, always the guilty party. However, they’re not always the villains of the piece. Sometimes, cheating is instigated by low self-esteem or a rocky relationship that’s toxic for both parties involved. Other times, cheaters are going to cheat. They’ll actively pursue sex with just about anyone, without any consideration for an oblivious partner at home.
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