Die With The Lie: What Cover Story Do You Tell Your Mistress?

I recently re-watched the movie Focus. What an amazing movie. It’s about a team of con artists, running a series of small and big scams. There’s something about this movie that I can relate to so much and let’s be honest, hard to hate a movie with Margot Robbie.

In the movie – Will smith gives Margot Robbie advice. The most crucial advice in the whole movie:

You Never Drop The Con, You Never Break. Die With The Lie

And whilst that was in the movies, the most famous Mafia Boss, John Gotti would say to his crew:

If there was a church robbed and I had the steeple stickin’ out of my ass, I still wouldn’t tell them I did it.

This leads me on to my next topic.

What do you tell your new squeeze? How do you approach your next affair?

Do you tell them that you’re married, have kids, living with someone, have a long-term girlfriend, or nothing at all?

Now remember, who am I to judge what you say, I’ve tried them all. I’ve said it all, I’ve done it all. This is me wearing the mother fucking t-shirt. 

There’s this great scene in Spy Game, where Rob Redford is teaching Brad Pitt how to be a spy and how to extract information from strangers.

Brad Pitt approaches this women to get information from her, and in the process, he gives her 4 lies about himself just to get one piece of information out of her.

The most amazing thing about the scene is when Rob looks at Brad and says

what if she were an asset, you told her 4 lies that now have to be true.

And that’s completely relevant here. When coming up with the cover story, there’s a lot of juggling to do, a lot of remembering to do, and all of the lies you may have told, now have to hold true. Let me share some of my experience: 

1) ‘I’m single’ 

Married with 3 kids, and I would go out there and be like I’m single. But in today’s world, social media, WhatsApp is such a big part of it – that the first thing a single lady is going to do is look you up.

And if they see family photos on your Facebook, they won’t be impressed, further still, they now know who your significant other is and how to get hold of them.

I hated the I’m single approach. I used a fake name, I needed a burner phone with a different WhatsApp ID, I created a fake Facebook and twitter page – and it simply was too much work. 

Hard to say you’re single when the wife is texting you the shopping list for the house and the kids!

I once dated an Australian TV Reporter. She was gorgeous and we met at a wine tasting. After the event, I walked her to the bus stop, where we found ourselves kissing until her bus eventually arrived. It wasn’t long after when I got an abusive text from her after she had discovered I was married – she was already planning on cooking for our first date! Crash and burn! 

2) ‘I’m married but I’m separated’

I decided to use this approach for a while. To my utter surprise, it ended up being an aphrodisiac, and somehow I had fallen into certain women’s rescue fantasy – where they felt the need to save me.

I’m not going to lie – I kind of liked this.

It worked really well. Except when things got too serious, and somehow, some of the women were hanging around until the ‘divorce‘ went through. Ultimately, I didn’t find this that fair on them and decided to cull this approach. Not to say this wasn’t an amazing approach – but it did have its disadvantages. 

3) ‘I’m married with kids’ 

So after nearly 2 decades of cheating, since being married and having kids (last 10 years) – I realised how much experience I had in cheating.

I had experience in reading women and attracting the right type of partner into my life. I decided how about being honest?

Maybe that was the way to go; dispense with all the lying, all the fake profiles, all the juggling acts, and just be real. And whilst I do date married women (MILFs) as well as single ones, I had an interesting response to this approach.

Married women loved it because they too didn’t want to ruin their home lives and, both them and I had an equal amount to lose if it ever came out – thereby guaranteeing the discretion that I crave! It also helps lower the risk of having the affair discovered.

This line of course didn’t work on loads of single women, with many of them labelling me as disgusting or a sleaze. The other half loved it – they got to have the fun of a relationship without any of the baggage. They were realists and pragmatists and it also fit a purpose for them too.

Whichever approach you take, remember to always keep your cover story intact. Die With The Lie (unless of course you copy me and go with Option 3). 

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