Ryan Miller is a highly respected online relationship coach, currently residing in the dynamic city of Hong Kong. Originally hailing from the United States, Ryan brings a unique international perspective to his coaching practice, helping individuals and couples around the globe to foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Ryan's approach to relationship coaching is rooted in empathy, understanding, and practicality. He believes that every relationship is unique and requires personalized strategies to thrive. His online coaching sessions are tailored to meet the specific needs of his clients, providing them with the tools and insights they need to navigate their relationships successfully. Ryan's journey into relationship coaching was inspired by his own experiences and the realization that many people face similar challenges in their relationships. He has since dedicated his life to helping others understand and overcome these challenges, empowering them to build stronger, more satisfying connections. In addition to his one-on-one coaching sessions, Ryan shares his expertise through various online platforms. He is a regular contributor to several relationship and personal development blogs, where his articles offer practical advice and strategies for maintaining healthy relationships in today's digital world. Ryan's work is characterized by his genuine passion for helping others, his deep understanding of interpersonal dynamics, and his ability to provide clear, actionable advice. Whether you're facing challenges in your relationship or looking to improve your interpersonal skills, Ryan Miller is the coach who can guide you towards your relationship goals.

Dating In Your 50s/ November 6, 2022March 13, 2025

What Do 50 Year Old Women Want in Bed?

Women’s sexual appetites don’t drop off a cliff after the age of 50. While menopause can cause an issue for some women, it’s usually only a temporary concern. With hormones in check, older women are among the most sexually adventurous of all demographics. However, dealing with an older woman in the sack can prove a challenge for men, especially if they’re lacking experience with more mature partners. That said, chasing MILFs is very exciting.

What Do 50 Year Old Women Want in Bed?

Younger women tend to have fewer inhibitions when it comes to sex, meaning it’s often open season for guys. While older women aren’t prudes, guys need to be a little more considerate when initiating and engaging in sex. Generally speaking, older ladies prefer a little more intimacy. Furthermore, spontaneity isn’t always possible. Older women tend to need a bit more foreplay to get in the mood for sex. Once it starts, however, you can expect longer sessions filled with experimentation.

Sexual Desire and Older Women

Age might be nothing but a number, but a declining libido is something a lot of mature women and older men suffer with. However, it affects the sexes differently. Men tend to reach their sexual peak during their twenties, with a slower drop in libido from then on. With women, sexual appetites remain high well into their forties. Then, menopause hits. Although hormone replacement therapy (HRT) can go a long way in holding back the tide, most women do experience a significant decrease in appetite. Although an older woman is perfectly able to enjoy a full sex life, she may struggle to enter the spirit of things.

What Does Aging Do to the Body?

Why do some older women experience a drop in libido as they get older? The aging process has a lot to answer for. Hormonal changes and diminished estrogen output can make it hard for a woman to get in the mood. However, these changes can also impact performance. With men, plummeting testosterone levels might make it more difficult to get and sustain an erection. Older ladies have their own set of problems to contend with. Natural lubrication often becomes difficult, leading to painful intercourse. This often rules out spontaneous sex and more energetic sexual activities.

Even if older ladies are in the mood for sex, these physical drawbacks can make the act itself awkward. In a worst-case scenario, sex becomes painful. This puts a dampener on pursuing sex in the future.

Other physical limitations can combat great sex as we get older. Mobility issues can limit the possibilities beneath the sheets. A woman may also be taking prescription medications to tackle age-related illnesses. Many medications have unwanted side effects, such as diminished libido. They may also lead to things like weight gain which might leave a woman feeling unattractive and less likely to initiate sex.

Getting in the Mood Over 50

Older women face several hurdles when it comes to enjoying good sex. However, there are plenty of things that both partners can do to make bedroom sessions more comfortable and enjoyable.

Make Time to Talk

Great communication should be at the forefront of good sex. For older women, communication is even more crucial. If a woman is experiencing physical discomfort or thinks their function is limited, they need to ensure they’re laying their cards out on the table. This is even more important for mature women dating younger men. A typical man in his twenties or thirties may have only ever dated younger women. They might have a vague awareness of the issues facing older women, but they’re unlikely to have encountered them directly.

A simple exchange is all it takes to smooth things over. Some women may find raising the subject difficult, but if your other half is worth keeping around, they’ll make no judgment. Furthermore, you don’t have to focus on what’s holding you back from enjoying yourself in the bedroom. You can also bring up your fantasies and sexual desires, rather than relying on body language to give your partner the signal.

Don’t Overthink It

Getting too worked about a limited sex drive is only going to be a difficult situation worse. In fact, there’s no bigger mood killer than high stress levels. Sex can be anticipated, but it should never be expected. High expectations will lead to added stress, which in turn will put a dent in sex drives.

Guys can make life easier for an older partner by helping them unwind and relax, long before the prospect of sex enters the conversation. Adopting a charm offensive not only helps an older woman de-stress but can also go a long way in making them feel sexy. For women, the focus should be on not sweating the small stuff. Forgetting about superficial things and focusing on self-care can make getting in the mood and embracing intimacy far easier.

Take Your Time

It can be hard to accept physical limitations as we age, but getting older is something we all have to deal with. Sadly, aging can make having sex more difficult. For women, a decrease in estrogen production can impact things like natural lubrication and elasticity. This can cause discomfort and sap the enjoyment out of sexual encounters.

The good news is that these are minor hurdles. Simply using the right lube can make penetrative sex far easier. However, it’s also a good idea to go slow if you’re experiencing some physical issues. For older women experiencing other health issues, such as cardiovascular or blood pressure conditions, it’s always best to dial things down a notch when getting down and dirty.

Don’t consider this a compromise. In fact, taking it slow can broaden possibilities beneath the sheets. It makes more time for intimacy and foreplay, helping stimulate mood and stoke passion.

The Importance of Foreplay

Many men neglect foreplay. It’s something that women of any age have to deal with, so mature women shouldn’t feel embarrassed about requesting a little more prep time before full-blown sex occurs. If you’re a woman dealing with a partner who likes to rush things, the issue lies with them, not you. It typically takes longer for a woman to climax than a man, so put your foot down and demand a little more attention before you rush to the finish line.

Foreplay benefits both partners. Multiple erogenous zones can be stimulated before penetrative sex occurs. Furthermore, a steady build and anticipation can work wonders for the male orgasm.

Spice Things Up with Sex Toys

Nowadays, sex toys are readily available. What’s more, they’re not only used by younger girls. Many women have at least one vibrator tucked away in a bedside cabinet, so don’t be afraid of bringing it out to help you get in the mood.

Sex toys can be incredibly useful. They can be used to enhance foreplay sessions. They can also help stimulate your erogenous zones, making penetrative sex far more comfortable. You can also seek out sex toys that both partners can enjoy. For women involved with a more adventurous guy, toys can be used to bring a little kink into the bedroom. Pegging can be a real turn-on for some men and also help mature women get in the mood for a broader range of activities.

If you’re embarrassed about wandering into your nearest adult-only store, simply head online to find what you’re looking for. You’ll find plenty of affordable online retailers offering a huge range of sex toys to spice things up in the bedroom.

Don’t Be Afraid to Experiment

One of the best ways to give bedroom antics a boost is to experiment. Sex toys are an easy way of mixing things up, but certainly aren’t the only way to add a little flair to nocturnal activities.

If your sex life is stuck in a rut, why not explore new positions? The missionary position is the go-to for many couples, but it’s not always the best approach for older partners. In fact, those aged over 50 tend to enjoy doing it doggy style. This position makes it easy to enjoy deeper penetration, without causing too much discomfort. Not only does this allow for longer sex sessions, but it also increases the odds of the male partner stimulating the G-spot.

Looking for more inspiration? Give the so-called ‘reverse cowgirl‘ position a try. This one might look daunting, but it’s actually very rewarding. The man needs to lie flat on his back, while the woman lowers herself down on top, facing away from their partner. Again, deeper penetration is almost always guaranteed, while both partners can look forward to enhanced stimulation, with very little effort.

For less intensive sex sessions, you might want to make use of a chair. The man sits comfortably in a chair, while the woman straddles them. It’s a good choice for couples who want to maintain face-to-face contact throughout sex. What’s more, it takes a lot of strain off the legs, hips, and back.

Once you’ve worked your way through the Kama Sutra, there’s still plenty of scope for experimenting. Feeling naughty? Embrace the kink and bring a little BDSM into the bedroom. Start small with role play and low-level domination, before dialing things up a notch. It’s not for everyone, but for some women, it’s a real turn-on. If you’re finding it hard to get your kicks elsewhere, this might be the way forward.

Use Supplements to Boost Your Sex Drive

If you’re still struggling to get in the mood, the issue might be a physical one. Fortunately, you can overcome hormonal issues and chemical imbalances by making changes to your diet and making use of supplements.

Many women going through menopause take hormone replacement therapy to compensate for plummeting estrogen levels. If this alone isn’t helping to keep the fires burning, there are other medications you can explore.

If you’re feeling up to it, speak to your doctor or healthcare provider about the problem. They may be able to prescribe you a more tailored medication to boost your libido and improve your sexual appetites.

Tribulus is a commonly used supplement by women looking to counter a diminishing sex drive. The active ingredient actually increases testosterone levels in individuals and is regularly prescribed to men and women. While it’s not particularly effective at treating issues like erectile dysfunction, its results are far more beneficial for women. In fact, many women who consume Tribulus regularly report increased libido and enhanced sexual satisfaction.

If you’re wary of over-the-counter medications, there are plenty of foods you can introduce into your diet. Oysters and chocolate have long been lauded as aphrodisiacs and there’s anecdotal evidence to support claims they increase libido. Other foods like strawberries and honey are also recommended.

Spontaneous Sex isn’t Always Practical

Dwindling sexual appetites are something most of us will have to deal with as we get older. Rather than fight the tide, it’s best to accept it as a natural part of getting older. However, you don’t need to say goodbye to a full sex life. Instead, simply accept that spontaneous sex isn’t always going to be possible.

Men need to be aware that an older woman isn’t going to be primed and ready for sex at a moment’s notice. There may be some physical limitations to overcome that make a last-minute tryst impossible. While medications and HRT can help slowly overcome sex drive problems, it’s best to make time for sex in the interim. Adopting a sex schedule might seem like it’s sapping the fun out of things. However, by clearing a window of time that can be focused on sexual shenanigans, everybody wins.

What Do Older Women Expect in the Bedroom?

It’s not uncommon for younger guys to fall for an older woman. In fact, many men prefer a more mature partner. Many young guys make the mistake of thinking an older woman is easy to please sexually. However, men need to make their fair share of effort to keep an older partner satisfied in the bedroom.

For starters, stamina is important. Sex isn’t always spontaneous with more mature women, so a guy will need to hold his own for upwards of an hour. For guys who rush to the finish line, it’s a good idea to work on overall health and fitness. A little exercise will go a long way in ensuring a guy can keep up in the bedroom.

It’s also a good idea for guys to mix up their repertoire. Men who solely rely on the missionary position aren’t going to do well with an older woman. More mature women tend to enjoy a variety of sexual positions, so it’s worth polishing up on a few new positions. Mutual masturbation and oral sex can also be effective at lengthening sessions and ensuring both parties enjoy a satisfactory conclusion.

Just about every woman will also appreciate foreplay. Too many men overlook this and rush in for full-blown sex. Spontaneous sex can be fun, but it doesn’t always work for older women. To make sure both parties benefit from a pleasurable experience, spending 10-20 minutes on foreplay is the way to go.

It’s easy for young guys to fetishize older women. While the more mature partner may have no trouble taking the lead, it’s a mistake to assume that every older woman is going to feel comfortable doing so. Some women may be more than happy to play the Mrs. Robinson role in a situation, but others will prefer that their partner takes the lead in the bedroom. If neither party has been upfront beforehand about what they like, you’ll have to rely on body language to steer the way.

Final Thoughts

Having sex over 50 can prove daunting for women. It’s the same for everyone, with the aging process taking its toll on body image and performance. However, most of the issues older women experience can be handled with a few lifestyle changes. Worried your hormones are holding you back? Replacement therapy is readily available, while supplements bring additional health benefits. Not sure you’re up to certain sex positions? Don’t be afraid to mix it up with more comfortable positions that will ensure more pleasurable results for both parties, not to mention longer sessions.

Guys also need to do their share. Younger guys are lining up to sleep with older women, but they often get lost in the fantasy of making it with a mature partner. There’s no seismic shift between having sex with a 20-year-old and someone in their 50s, but your approach can’t be exactly the same.

Spending more time on foreplay and taking the time to communicate is a must as far as intergenerational sex is concerned. If an older woman is lacking in confidence, they’ll almost certainly need their partner to take the lead. However, this doesn’t always make for plain sailing. You need to listen to your partner to ensure the sex is working for them and the act itself is pleasurable.

Break Ups/ November 3, 2022January 26, 2024

How to Get Over a Married Man

Getting involved with a married man is never a good idea. If you’re the other woman, you’ll never be able to enjoy the full benefits of a healthy relationship. Chances are, you’re already under-appreciated, with your married lover spending very little time with you. Being the other woman in a relationship can also damage your self esteem, leading to feelings of unworthiness.

How to Get Over a Married Man

If a married guy is actively cheating on his spouse, they’re the root cause of any distress caused by an affair. However, that’s not to say you’re entirely without blame. If you’re carrying on a relationship with a married man, you’re contributing toward destructive and harmful behaviors that have unseen victims. You might not be thinking too much about his wife and children while you’re enjoying evenings out and romantic getaways, but you ought to feel at least some level of guilt.

With a few exceptions, affairs are toxic arrangements that will eventually leave a trail of devastation in their wake. Sometimes, we can’t help who we fall for, but if you’ve fallen head over heels for a married man, it’s best to cut your losses and back out as quickly as possible.

Is the writing on the wall for your relationship with a married man? Have you, after much soul searching, decided now’s the time to cut your losses and break free? Read on for a handy guide on how to speed up the healing process and put yourself in a better position to force a strong relationship with someone worthy of you.

Is it Time to End the Affair?

Very few of us who end up in an affair choose to be in one. Unless you’re lacking in human empathy, the thought of getting involved with someone with a wife or girlfriend at home won’t appeal. However, many women find themselves in exactly this predicament. Perhaps the guy in question didn’t reveal his marriage until long after you first hooked up. Maybe he suggested to you that his situation at home didn’t have a long-term future.

Whatever the reason, by the time you find out he’s married, a painless break is usually out of the question. If you feel connected with him and think he’s the right person for you, the fact he has a wife and family at home is only a secondary concern. Does the thought of not being able to spend time with him fill you with dread? Can you not imagine a future without him? Many women convince themselves that the married guy they’ve fallen for is their best shot at a happy life. However, this is rarely the case.

Unless he’s prepared to make a decision and commit to you completely, there’s no point in continuing a relationship with a married man. You’ll also be playing second fiddle to his primary relationship. What matters to you in a relationship? What’s the bare minimum you expect from a guy? You’re not going to get it from someone already involved with a full-time spouse.

Taking the First Steps

Wondering how to get over a married man? The first step is to commit to moving forward. If you’re going to be the one to call things off, you’ve got to put to bed any notion that there’s a future for the two of you.

It’s not easy to put the brakes on an affair. Married men aren’t great long-term prospects, but they can still be engaging partners. Maybe the sex is great. Perhaps you’re guilty of loving the thrill of being someone’s piece on the side. Such women are likely to fall back on old habits or find it difficult to permanently let go.

You have to be rational about walking away from a relationship with a married man. If you’ve been carrying on an affair successfully for many months, if not longer, he’s not going to want to say goodbye just yet. Why would he want to invest valuable time and money into a new woman when he can just play his cards right and convince you to stay?

You’re cutting your losses because you want to secure an enriching relationship with a suitable man. Remember that, no matter how convincing a married guy might be when trying to convince you to continue your dalliance.

Furthermore, commit to putting a lid on your relationship. Even if you’re the one to call time on things, you might find yourself wanting to make contact again in the future. Even though you’re the one to end the affair, unresolved feelings can fester and the urge to get in touch again can present itself. When these urges arise, you have to be strong enough to push them back down again.

Block His Number

This is a smart move when ending any type of romantic relationship. It’s a good first step in avoiding the temptation to get in touch again. By removing his phone number from your contact list, you’ve created an instant barrier between you and him. Additionally, you’ll want to block that number before deleting it. Just because you don’t want to talk to him again, doesn’t mean he’s going to want to agree to radio silence.

There’s always a chance he might use a new number to text or call you if he’s not getting through to you any other way. If this happens, don’t engage him. Avoiding sending a text to let me know you’re still not interested. Simply block the new number and stop thinking about him.

Avoid Contacting Him via Social Media Platforms

Most of us use our social media accounts to stay in touch with friends and family. If you’ve been engaged in an affair with someone, you probably haven’t been making a show of things via social media platforms with your married partner. However, sometimes people having an affair are friends on Facebook or following each other on Twitter. If he’s in your social media contacts, delete him at the first opportunity.

Most of us are guilty of checking in on the status of old flames on social media from time to time. If you’ve been involved with a married guy, this is something you definitely want to avoid. Photos can be a real trigger for people with unresolved feelings. If there’s any bad feeling still remaining, the sight of him playing happy families with his wife might urge you into doing something you’d instantly regret. What’s more, you might see him hooked up with another woman who’s not his wife. This can instantly induce feelings of jealousy and rage, encouraging you to let your actual partner know what she’s dealing with.

You’re only going to make trouble for yourself if you fall into this trap. It can be hard to avoid typing someone’s name in a social media search bar, but you have to express restraint. If the married guy in question is currently in your social media contacts, delete and block them. If there’s a good chance they’ll use social media to stay in touch, consider removing your account entirely and creating a new one.

Focus on Passion Projects and Hobbies

There’s nothing worse than an idle mind if you’re trying to get over a relationship. If there’s still the prospect of reconnecting with a married guy, having too much time on your hands is going to lead you to think about them and ponder whether or not you did the right thing in breaking things off.

To avoid this situation, you should spend time on things that will keep you occupied. Have you let your passion projects and interest slide? Get back into them. If you have an unused gym membership card gathering dust in your purse, brush it off and start committing to a healthy-living routine. If you’ve always wanted to pursue a certain hobby, start doing some reading and invest the resources you’ll need.

Rebuild Your Social Life

Understanding how to get over a married guy is the easy part. Often, it’s dealing with the fallout that is the problem. Many women who embark on affairs with married men find that their social lives take a pounding. There are several reasons for this. A married man might demand a considerable slice of your time, making it difficult to stay connected with friends. Furthermore, some of your friends may have taken issue with the fact you were cheating with someone and have cut off ties with you because of this.

Now that your relationship with a married man is done and dusted, you have the perfect opportunity to build bridges with old friends and get your social life back on track. If you have fallen out with friends because of your entanglement with a married man, don’t be too surprised if you’re forced to eat some humble pie.

You’ll almost certainly find yourself making a few apologies. However, if it was you who decided to step away, you shouldn’t have any trouble with this. It might not be possible to repair every damaged friendship, but don’t take this as a sign that you’re unworthy of friends. If you’re committed to exploring new opportunities and are actively getting out there and enjoying yourself, you’ll quickly be embraced by new social circles and friendship groups.

Don’t Be Afraid to Start Dating Again

Moving on from a relationship with a married guy can be tough. One of the lasting impacts of being involved in an affair is that it’s hard to strike up new relationships with men. If you stand any chance of enjoying a healthy and fruitful relationship in the future, you should only be targeting a suitable man who isn’t currently involved with anyone else. However, bad habits learned from your previous relationship can have lingering effects.

Remember, you don’t have to creep around and be secretive now that you’re seeing an unattached guy. You’re the only person they’re looking to spend time with in a romantic sense and you should be considering them the same way.

If you’ve spent months or years sneaking around and making discreet visits to hotels, the perks of a regular relationship can seem overwhelming. Unless you’ve been completely upfront with your new beau about your past, they may be able to read your discomfort with your new arrangement.

If you’re worried about how you’re presenting to your new boyfriend, don’t be afraid to take things slow. Small baby steps will allow you to acclimatize to the dating scene and the everyday expectation of a normal relationship. Once you’re ready to take things further, you’ll be in a much better headspace.

Consider Getting Professional Help

Are you really struggling to say goodbye to a married man? This isn’t uncommon. If you’ve been the one to do the dumping, putting a relationship to bed is a little easier. However, those women who find themselves unceremoniously ditched by married men tend to have trouble dealing with the aftermath.

First and foremost, remember that leaving a toxic relationship is a good thing. You’re now free to enjoy a multi-faceted relationship with someone who genuinely cares about you. What’s more, you’re not betraying anybody.

That being said, it can be very tricky to let go of those feelings of rejection and abandonment. If you’ve been involved with someone for long enough, you may feel uncomfortable about pursuing new relationships. If you’ve become overly attached to a married guy, you may look to them for reassurance and affirmation. Lost friends because of your relationship with a married guy? In a worst-case scenario, you may struggle to find a willing ear so that you can talk about your feelings.

If you’re really having a hard time dealing with the situation, it’s a good idea to consult a mental health professional. They’ll help you see things rationally, underlining why it’s a good thing that you’re now removed from a harmful relationship. Furthermore, they can teach you coping mechanisms to tackle unresolved emotions.

cheating101/ November 1, 2022January 26, 2024

Is Sexting Cheating?

Is sexting cheating? In the age of smartphones and social media, the lines between innocent online banter and genuine infidelity have become blurred. In fact, many people now in a committed relationship will have met online via a dating app. Those relationships may have started with flirty exchanges and inboxes overflowing with explicit photographs. It’s no surprise then that many people have trouble separating what’s acceptable when texting someone who isn’t their partner. However, what isn’t acceptable is when those messages veer close to sexting behavior.

What is Sexting?

How do we define sexting? This isn’t rocket science. If you’re sending sexually-loaded messages to someone else or firing off nude photos or video clips to someone else, you’re guilty of sexting. Not everyone is comfortable with these kinds of exchanges, but it’s par for the course in the digital age of today.

However, it’s not something you should be doing if you’re currently attached and in a committed relationship. You may not plan on meeting up with your sexting target in real life, but these exchanges have the potential to evolve into online affairs. It’s an emotional betrayal, plain and simple. Get caught out, and you run the risk of putting the brakes on your relationship or ending a happy marriage.

Navigating the Grey Area

Just because you’re not pursuing a physical relationship with other women, doesn’t mean you’re not guilty of emotional infidelity. For many married couples, it’s this emotional betrayal that really throws a spanner in the works. In fact, many women will admit that they can forgive their partner engaging with physical sex with someone else. However, a secret exchange that’s been simmering away for some time is far harder to forgive.

Men might dismiss sexting as a fairly innocent activity. Even if they’re sharing explicit photos and heated exchanges, the fact they haven’t actively pursued someone else for sex makes them feel as though they’re innocent of any wrongdoing. Although gender differences do come into play here, some women may have a more relaxed attitude toward sexting. If you’re confident that your other half is comfortable with you flirting with other people online, sexting isn’t a relationship-ending activity.

Is Sexting Really Cheating?

Although sexting lacks physical contact, it can bear all the hallmarks of an intimate relationship. If you’re currently in a relationship, there’s a good chance you’ve engaged in sexting with your partner. For many couples, filthy exchanges and the sharing of erotic photos are part of the courtship ritual.

Is Sexting Cheating?

Once you’ve committed to somebody else, sexting with someone else is definitely something you should avoid. Being committed to someone and enjoying a fully-fledged physical relationship with them doesn’t instantly qualify sexting as harmless fun.

You might not be entertaining the idea of meeting up with your sexting partner in person, but your other half doesn’t know that. Any intimate connection, be it physical or virtual, is a risk factor in any relationship.

It All Depends on Who You’re Asking

As with casual flirting in everyday life, many men and women consider sexting as harmless fun. However, the secretive nature of sexting complicates matters. If you’re currently involved in a long-term relationship and sexting with someone else, you’re almost certainly not letting your spouse in on the action. If you’re keeping your digital devices locked down and your sexting activities a secret, you’re already guilty of committing low-level emotional infidelity.

The person doing the sexting likely has a multitude of reasons to justify their actions. They might have a high sex drive and reason that occasional sexting satiates their appetites, without them having to physically act upon them. Others might be easily led. Perhaps you’ve been approached via direct message on social media. However, just because you didn’t start the back-and-forth, doesn’t make it okay that you’ve continued to volley messages back and forth.

Sometimes, the stage of a relationship can factor into how acceptable sexting is considered. Is it still early days? If you’ve only been going steady for a few weeks or a couple of months, sexting is likely to be written off as nothing to worry about. If you’ve been committed to someone for years, however, sexting is a clear violation of trust.

Can Sexting Lead to Affairs?

Historically, most affairs started between colleagues at the workplace. The gym is another breeding ground for infidelity. However, in recent years, social media has provided cheaters with another platform to sniff out sex partners. While some sexting is innocent enough, there’s always the potential for a steamy exchange to turn into something more serious.

Can sexting derail your current relationship? There’s also the potential for a flirty exchange to turn into a full-blown online affair. To understand why let’s explore some factors that make sexting such an unhealthy phenomenon.

It Promotes Unhealthy Sexual Fantasies

There’s been a lot of chatter in recent years about how online pornography has skewed the perception of sex for younger people. Sexting plays into this somewhat. Those engaging in sexting regularly run the risk of skewing their perceptions about what constitutes a healthy sex life. Sexually-loaded texts and messages loaded with explicit content aren’t how most people talk in day-to-day life. However, if you’re engaging in enough of these conversations, it can make you reconsider your primary relationship and the current state of your sex life.

If you have a regular sexting partner, there’s probably little room for small talk. When one person requests a nude picture, the other will quickly oblige. This kind of transaction doesn’t typically happen in long-term relationships. When was the last time you asked your partner to drop their top or record themselves performing an explicit act? You’ll have probably had to field several questions before getting the desired result if indeed you did at all.

Sexting also runs the risk of altering perceptions about ourselves. With both parties pursuing sexual gratification, there’s rarely room for self-conscious thought. As such, it’s easy to become overly confident in our sexual prowess and abilities. This might lead you to consider pursuing sexual encounters in real life. Alternatively, you may struggle to understand why you’re not getting the same results from your partner in the bedroom.

It Can Drive a Wedge Between You and Your Partner

If you’re sexting regularly, you’re probably distracting yourself from your primary relationship. Sexting can quickly become addictive, especially if you’re in contact with multiple people. All that time spent checking your inbox and finding stolen moments to send a message will have a huge impact on your regular relationship.

If you’re using sexting as a way to fill a void in your current relationship, it’s a surefire way of driving a deeper wedge between you and your other half. Furthermore, if you’re sexting to compensate for something else, you’re more likely to act on the urge to cheat in real life.

Sexting isn’t good for anyone’s mental health. For the offender, it can blur the boundaries between what’s acceptable and what isn’t. For the victim, it can cause huge mental health issues and lead to feelings of inadequacy. If your relationship is at a crossroads and needs work, it’s time to talk the issue through. You don’t need to invest in marriage counseling or relationship guidance, but you definitely need to sit down and discuss what’s working and what isn’t.

Repeat Offenders Will Get Caught Out

Think you can get away with sexting indefinitely? Unless you’re an expert in espionage tactics, you can’t. Spouses are often suspicious of contact texting and secretive phone calls. What’s more, many people see nothing wrong in asking to see the contents of their spouse’s phone.

If red flags are raised elsewhere, don’t be too surprised if your partner is focusing more on what you’re doing with your digital devices. Keeping your smartphone close by will only go so far in keeping your virtual dalliances private. If your other half is particularly suspicious, there are all manner of ways they can delve into your virtual private life.

They could use a monitoring app to see exactly what you’re up to. Alternatively, if your passcodes aren’t exactly bulletproof, they can easily log into your device when you’re not around. If you’re eager to keep your sexting activity a complete secret, you’ll need to be cautious about any interaction they have with your device, especially if you’re using online dating sites.

Look out for supposedly innocent requests to use your phone. Maybe they want to use your smartphone to deliver takeout. Maybe they’re claiming to need a number for a mutual acquaintance. If you must keep up with sexting, a burner phone they have no knowledge about is the only guaranteed way of keeping your activities a complete secret. Even then, you’ll need to find reasons to excuse yourself so you can use this device without drawing attention.

It’s Not Always Innocent

Just because you consider sexting innocent and unlikely to go anywhere, don’t assume the person you’re messaging feels the same. Is the target of your texts becoming too attached? Sexually-charged texts can quickly boil over into something more serious.

If you’re currently in a relationship, it’s easy to compartmentalize sexting. You might get a cheap thrill from someone sending you naked photos, but you’re unlikely to consider this a prelude to a full-blown sexual affair. However, if you’re messaging a single person, any response they get might come across as being more loaded than you intended.

Ultimately, you can’t count on the other person becoming more emotionally attached than you are. If they’re putting a lot of stock in your exchanges, you put yourself in a precarious position. If you don’t want to take things to the next level or attempt to step back from communicating with them, things can get nasty.

It Can End a Relationship

Even if your partner never suspects that you’re sexting, there are other ways your activities can come to light. You could find yourself being blackmailed by the person you’re talking to. You might have put a lot of effort into concealing your antics from your spouse, but your personal details will be easy enough to source online. If you’ve given your name and revealed a few snippets of personal information, a wronged party will have no trouble sniffing out your social media profile.

Furthermore, your photos could become compromised. Many celebrities have fallen foul of nude photo leaks and the general population isn’t immune to such cyberattacks. Admittedly, it’s unlikely that your other half will stumble upon these photos, but you still don’t want this kind of content ending up in the public sphere.

Can Couples Move Past a Sexting Scandal?

Generally speaking, most couples can move on from a sexting revelation. If the guilty partner owns up to their behavior and accepts what they did was wrong, both sides can put their best foot forward and work on mending their relationship. If you’ve been sexting to compensate for a lack of passion at home, post-scandal conversations can also be used to carve out a better, healthier relationship.

Obviously, this doesn’t apply if you’ve allowed sexting to turn into something more serious. While it’s tempting to give into your urges and meet a sexting partner in real life, remember that actual intimacy isn’t going to rival the level of conversation you’ve been having up until that point. It’s easy to talk dirty and look your best with a well-posed and perfectly filtered photograph, but the reality of casual sex is something else entirely.

If you’re feeling the urge to cheat, there’s probably something profoundly wrong with your relationship. If you don’t see a long-term future with your partner, now’s the time to take stock and, if needed, take a step back. Think about your options and consider negotiating terms. Your other half might feel the same way, leaving you both free to pursue other options.

Dating/ October 26, 2022January 26, 2024

Something Casual Meaning

Have you been playing the field for some time now? When navigating the world of online dating, you’ve probably come across your fair share of profiles saying someone is only interested in a casual relationship. Casual dating is on the rise, with apps making it easier than ever for people to skip the small talk and get straight down to what’s important.

However, in real life, casual arrangements don’t work for everyone. If you’ve recently exited a committed relationship, your idea of what casual is might not match up to the expectations of someone you’re meeting after connecting online. They might be looking for no-strings sex with multiple partners, while you’re looking to ignite the beginnings of a physical and emotional relationship.

Most people fall somewhere in between these two extremes. Pursuing something casual puts less pressure on both parties. There are no suffocating expectations about when a relationship should progress to a certain point, while physical intimacy isn’t always a declaration of undying love and long-term commitment.

Something Casual Meaning?

That being said, dealing with countless dates that go nowhere fast can be exhausting. You might have been meeting someone regularly for many months under the assumption that your relationship has now progressed to a relatively serious level. However, you can easily find the rug being pulled from under you when they reveal they’ve been seeing other people on the side. It’s not cheating they’ll claim. After all, they thought you were only looking for something casual.

Looking to streamline your way to a more serious relationship? Below, we explore what someone really means when they say they’re looking for something casual.

1. They’re Not Thinking About Long-Term Plans

Is casual dating right for you? Before you decide to engage with people claiming to be looking for something casual, step back and consider what you’re really looking for in a partner. Are you searching for someone you can eventually show off to friends and introduce to your family? Are you expecting to ingratiate your new partner into your social scene? Are you looking to have a long-term affair?

Somebody who’s only looking for a casual relationship probably isn’t going to want to get involved with your passion projects or learn about your side hustles.

With a casual relationship, there are real expectations in place. You can’t enter into things thinking that the ultimate result is a more serious relationship. That’s not to say casual flings can’t progress into something more serious, but don’t feel too disheartened if things fizzle out, rather than flourish into something long-lasting.

How do you know if someone is definitely not interested in a long-term future? There will be no discussions about long-term goals. They’ll have little interest in planning for shared experiences beyond casual fun and sex. However, before you tap out and start looking for a better long-term prospect, consider if this casual entanglement is working for you. Are you enjoying yourself? Is this relationship helping you heal from a previous one? It might be worth keeping things as they are for now.

2. They Won’t Expect Too Much From You

If you’re returning to the dating world after a long spell in a serious relationship, it can be hard to read the room with casual partners. Do you find yourself waiting for hours, if not days, to get a response from a text or voicemail? Do they drag their heels when giving you an answer to a simple question? Some people take this as a sign that someone isn’t interested and is letting them down gently. However, it’s a pretty standard hallmark of casual dating.

Casual dating has little to no expectations or obligations. That’s the entire point. While romantic feelings can easily develop, you don’t need to go above and beyond to keep your partner happy. Don’t feel like meeting up for a week or longer? Neither party should see this as a rejection. Instead, you’re simply allowing each other breathing room to get on with life and do your own thing.

The world of casual dating can prove a culture shock for many people, especially if they’ve largely been in long-term monogamous relationships before. However, if you change your way of thinking and accept that there are other ways to date, you’ll be richly rewarded.

3. They Might Not Be Interested in a Monogamous Relationship

If you’re casually dating, you’re going to have to accept that the people you’re seeing may be seeing other people simultaneously. This style of dating and casual sex often go hand in hand, but it’s not always talked about before people start meeting after connecting online or elsewhere.

If you’ve recently hooked up with someone who’s made it clear they’re looking for something casual, don’t be afraid of being upfront about whether or not this comes with an agreement that you’re free to see other people. Chances are somebody seeking something casual will at least want to explore other options during the early days of a relationship. Likewise, it’s entirely acceptable for you to pursue other people and engage in casual sex.

Naturally, all that casual sex comes with a degree of risk. As a rule, you should be practicing safe sex to protect yourself from STDs. If you’ve recently met someone looking for a casual relationship and they’ve brought up the topic of seeing other people, use this as an opportunity to bring safer sex precautions into the conversation.

Can casual dating lead to a romantic relationship? Of course it can. However, you’ll need a thick skin to move past the fact that your partner was potentially sleeping with dozens of other people during the first few months of your relationship.

4. They Won’t Expect You to Be at Their Beck and Call

The first few months of any relationship are exciting. It’s easy for us to get carried away with a rose-tinted perspective during the honeymoon period. If you’re brand new to casual dating, this giddy period of the relationship likely won’t go as exactly as you’d expect.

Do you expect an instant response to text messages and social media comments? You’re probably going to have to wait around if you’re seeing someone casually. Likewise, recalibrate your ideas about what are acceptable expectations from a casual dating partner.

For some people, a lack of immediacy reads as someone not being interested or distant. If you’re looking to replace a lack of emotional intimacy in life, you’re unlikely to find it with a casual partner. If things go well for long enough, these elements will fall into place. In the meantime, try not to force it. If you need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to bend, delve into your social circle instead.

5. It’s Not Always Strictly About Sex

Although we’ve talked about how casual dating tends to free up both parties to engage in casual sex, don’t assume someone is ready to go whenever you feel the urge to jump into bed. Looking for someone who’ll drop what they’re doing the moment you call them for a booty call? There’s an entirely different demographic for that.

Just because someone is looking for low-level commitment and a casual arrangement, doesn’t mean they’re not open to the idea of emotional connection and a more serious relationship. If you start things off by treating them as little more than a sex worker, you’re dooming your relationship to failure. Sex can peter out over time and so does the thrill of making a middle-of-the-night booty call. If you stop making the moves on someone, they might think you’ve lost interest, even if it’s just a natural winding down of the honeymoon period.

When Do Casual Relationships Turn into Something More Serious?

Although many of us like to think we’re looking for no-strings fun and casual arrangements, the majority of people will eventually want to progress to something more serious. Knowing when to spot when a casual relationship has evolved into something more genuine is important.

However, don’t enter into things assuming this will happen. Furthermore, don’t think you can steer a casual relationship towards being a committed one. You might luck out, but you’ll often only find yourself disappointed.

That being said, sometimes a serious discussion needs to be had. Think your casual fling might be turning into something more conventional? Below, we spotlight some clear signs that you’re onto a winner.

They’re Opening Up to You

The longer we spend in a relationship with someone, the more likely we have to open up to them. For many people in casual relationships, there’s little room for small talk once the evening’s finished or the sex is over. It’s not uncommon for one or both parties to make their excuses for the day once the fun is done and dusted. However, the longer you spend with someone, the less likely it is they’ll be in a rush to make a departure.

Are you talking more? Are they revealing more about themselves, their interests, and what’s going on in their lives? This is a good sign that a genuine emotional connection has formed. What’s more, if they’re actively asking for your opinion, it shows they value your input. These are all incredibly positive signs that someone is romantically interested in you. Furthermore, it’s evidence that strong foundations for a robust relationship are taking shape.

You can be pretty clear in their intentions if they’re making an effort to remember things about you. Are they asking you about how work is going? Are they remembering specific details and names of people you’ve mentioned? You’re dealing with an active listener here and, most of the time, this is a clear indicator that someone’s interest has progressed beyond casual engagement.

Sex with Other People is No Longer a Thing

If you’re dipping your toe into the casual dating scene, you’re just going to have to accept that the person you’re seeing is going to be sleeping with other people. In a twenty-first century world, it’s easier than ever for people to make last-minute arrangements with sex partners. Accepting this isn’t infidelity isn’t always easy, but it has to be done if you want to reap the benefits of casual dating.

Sometimes, people can continue seeing each other casually for many years, with both partners free to pursue other people sexually. However, it’s not a particularly healthy way to manage a relationship. The more time you spend with someone, the deeper the emotional connection. It’s only natural that you’ll start feeling uncomfortable about them being physically intimate with people who aren’t you.

A lot of people tend to walk away from a casual relationship when the thought of multiple partners becomes too much to handle. However, if you feel strongly enough about someone, don’t feel embarrassed about suggesting that the two of you explore monogamy. If they’re dead against the idea, you’re probably better off walking away and exploring other avenues. If there’s room for negotiation, seize it. Sometimes, you may have to make a compromise. Perhaps the two of you can negotiate some boundaries so you’ll remain relatively oblivious about what the other is up to with other people.

One thing you never want to do is commit to one-sided monogamy. If you’re head over heels in love with someone, it’s only natural that you’d want to remain faithful and monogamous to that person, even if they’re not granting you the same courtesy. Take this approach and you’re knowingly allowing yourself to be emotionally exploited. It will build a rotten framework for the future of your relationship and can wreak havoc on your self-esteem and mental health.

Is Casual Dating the Way Forward for You?

Casual dating has many perks, but you’ll need a strong stomach and a handle on expectations to reap the benefits. If you’re looking to play the field, casual dating is an easy way to explore multiple partners, while still maintaining the luxury of repeated encounters with people you’re genuinely interested in. For some people, casual dating can bolster their self-esteem, making it a worthwhile venture for someone whose ego has taken a beating from a toxic long-term relationship.

The main thing to remember here is that casual dating is complex. No two people are ever going to be on the same page, so clear communication is key to ensuring nobody’s feelings get hurt. Furthermore, you’ll need to rethink your approach to dating in general. Instant replies and round-the-clock emotional investment aren’t standard here.

Tips For Men/ October 13, 2022January 26, 2024

What is a Hall Pass in a Relationship?

A monogamous relationship isn’t for everyone. Around 20% of Americans report being unhappy in their romantic relationship. What’s more, a significant number of people have actually pursued sex outside of their primary relationship. It’s estimated as many as 74% of men have had a one night stand. Women are almost as bad, with around 68% admitting to playing around with someone else at least once.

What is a Hall Pass in a Relationship?

Most of the time, these extramarital encounters are one-offs and the guilty party returns to their relationship with their other half none the wiser. However, the occasional indiscretion can quickly lead to a second or third case of cheating. Eventually, this behavior becomes the standard and one or both partners can end up running affairs on the side. Some guys and girls might enjoy the thrill of cheating on their partner, but maintaining an affair is a lot of work. A good cheater needs to be a great liar. Furthermore, maintaining a side piece can prove expensive.

Many people live with the worry that their partner will cheat on them. Their other half may never have strayed, nor give them any indication they’re thinking of playing away. Nonetheless, the worry remains. Sometimes, couples may discuss the concept of a hall pass. It’s essentially a free pass, allowing one or both partners to engage in sex with someone outside of their primary relationship. It’s often discussed half-heartedly, with no genuine expectation that a one-off affair will happen in real life.

Hall Passes Explained

A hall pass is essentially a get of jail free card. It involves one partner giving the other a green light to cheat on a one time basis. The term has been around for many years but was popularized in this context by the 2011 comedy film starring Owen Wilson and Jason Sudeikis.

As previously mentioned, hall passes are typically discussed casually. Couples may discuss celebrity crushes or dream lays. In almost every case, the object of desire isn’t an achievable goal. This makes the idea of a hall pass a novelty.

However, couples who are comfortable with non monogamy may also be open to the idea of hall passes. Sometimes, relationships get stuck in a rut and sex lives can stagnate. Allowing your partner to indulge their desires elsewhere is a surefire way of keeping them from playing away more regularly. What’s more, with proper communication and a strong relationship dynamic, it can prove a healthy outlet for people who want to have sex with other people but aren’t looking to leave their spouses.

Is the Hall Pass Concept the Same as an Open Relationship?

Open relationships are becoming more common. In fact, it’s thought as many as 5% of straight couples are currently engaged in an open relationship. While hall pass agreements share some DNA with open relationships, the two arrangements are not the same thing.

An open relationship allows partners to spend time with other people, not just indulge in no-strings sex. Both parties have to be incredibly secure to pursue an open relationship. A hall pass is different. If it’s only sex that’s on the table, there’s little worry of a partner falling head over heels for someone else and abandoning a marriage or years-long relationship.

Key Differences

Open relationships also require both partners to agree to a long list of conditions. For starters, certain sexual activities may be off the table entirely. Limits also need to be placed on emotional connections. Meeting someone regularly for sex might be fine, but scheduling date nights and trips away may be a big no-no. Some partners may also request detailed updates about who their other half is seeing, where they’re meeting, and what they’ve been up to. Some people are comfortable enough being upfront about all of this. However, in many cases, having these discussions can be grueling and cause trouble at home.

Typically, hall pass arrangements come with none of this baggage. Partner A will agree that Partner B can engage with no-strings sex with someone else with no questions asked. It’s almost always a one-and-done situation.

Should You Agree to a Hall Pass?

For a hall pass to work, both partners need to be granted one. It simply doesn’t make sense for one person to get a free pass at the expense of the other. If you’re both happy with a mutual hall pass agreement, you’re good to go.

However, before you jump straight in, ask yourself why you’re actually looking for a one-time excuse to have sex with someone else. Are you unhappy with your current relationship? If your sex life is getting a little stale, why not focus on spicing things up in the bedroom instead? Exploring roleplay or embracing a little kink might be a better option than fooling around outside of your main relationship.

Alternative Options to Hall Passes

Is the thrill of sleeping with someone else you’re after? Some people find themselves eager to broaden their horizons, especially if they’ve been locked into a relationship for many years. Others may have entered into a long-term relationship without notching up too many sexual partners. Over the years, this can lead to people thinking that they’ve missed out on something.

A mutually beneficial hall pass may provide you with a chance to explore sexual experiences with new people, but you might not get the results you’re after. You need to be confident enough to approach a new sexual partner, not to mention impress in the bedroom. A disappointing casual encounter won’t satiate those sexual urges. In a worst-case scenario, you may find yourself walking away with a heap of emotional baggage.

It’s very unlikely that the idea of a hall pass is going to come up naturally in conversation. In almost every scenario, one person is going to introduce the subject first. After much discussion, might both come around to the idea, but it’s never going to be a completely balanced affair. Discussing the idea alone is enough to stir up jealousy and insecurities. If you’re finding it hard to talk about the idea, there’s no way you’re going to handle the reality of your other half having sex with somebody else.

During the course of your preliminary discussions, you and your partner may realize that you’re both simply looking to experiment sexually. You don’t necessarily have to do this independently.

Maybe you’d better off introducing a third party into your sexual antics. If you do want to experiment with additional partners, make sure you’re not drafting in a third party from your social circle. Swinging groups are a good place to seek out no-strings sex partners. Alternatively, you may want to explore voyeurism. If you’ve got a webcam and reliable broadband connection, live streaming a steamy session might be sufficient to stifle those sexual urges.

Setting Ground Rules

If you do decide that a hall pass is right for you, you’ll need to lay down the law way in advance. It might seem like it’s taking the fun out of things, but without these ground rules in place, you can almost guarantee disagreements down the line.

Be Completely Honest About Your Expectations

This is important. When you first start discussing a hall pass agreement, make sure you’re letting your partner know what you’re aiming to get out of the arrangement. Obviously, sex is the main objective, but you’ll want to be clear about what you’re seeking out that you’re not going from your primary relationship. Don’t use this as an opportunity to deliver a comprehensive list of your partner’s faults and shortcomings. Instead, dress it up with a more positive spin. If you’re coming up against any resistance, use this as a chance to illustrate the benefits of a hall pass to your partner.

Set a Time Limit

If you’re a little unsure about abandoning the framework of a monogamous relationship, placing a time limit on hall passes is a good idea. You could suggest putting a time limit of six months on the agreement. If neither party has cashed in on their hall pass by then, the agreement expires and it’s back to monogamy from that point on.

At this point, you can come back together and discuss the idea again. If both of you have made good on your agreement, you can of course talk about extending the agreement. Even if your dalliances aren’t distracting from your primary relationship, it’s always to renew the hall pass agreement. If extramarital sex is always up for grabs, you’re entering open relationship territory and the potential for damaging infidelity is high.

Is Anyone Fair Game?

If you think that your partner has their eye on someone in particular, granting them a hall pass is never a good idea. You’re pretty much giving them the green light to chase a sexual encounter with a long-standing crush. They get what they want and you end up feeling hurt and betrayed. Even if you don’t suspect that your other half has someone in mind, it’s worth ironing out some ground rules about who can be approached.

As a rule, anyone from their social circle is prohibited. Some people may be comfortable with their partner seeking sex with a casual acquaintance, but just make sure it’s not a mutual one. Even if they pursue sex on a one off basis, the encounter could come up again in conversation, bringing old wounds to the surface.

You may also want to lay out some rules regarding age. A couple in their forties may use a hall pass to pursue sex with younger people. However, if one partner secures a hookup with a much younger person, it can lead to feelings of insecurity in their other half. To make life easier, outline a cutoff point that states your wife or husband isn’t allowed to pursue sex with anyone under a certain age.

Furthermore, consider the limits of experimentation when giving the okay to a hall pass. Some partners may use a hall pass to explore the limits of their sexuality. If you’re fine with the idea of your spouse exploring same-sex experiences, this is okay. However, if there’s any doubt in your mind that such exploration will lead to complications, don’t be afraid to be rigid when it comes to laying down rules.

Be Responsible

If you’re having intimate encounters with anyone other than your spouse, safe sex is a must. Sexually transmitted infections are no laughing matter. You might both have agreed to a hall pass, but passing on a long-lasting venereal disease is really going to sour the experience.

If you haven’t been sexually intimate with anyone other than your spouse for some time, you might not have much of a clue about STI risk. Do your research to see what kind of diseases you need to be looking out for and how best to protect against them. Sometimes, simply having the male partner wear a condom isn’t going to be sufficient.

Even if you’ve practiced safe sex, it makes sense to get screened for STIs after the fact. Make sure both you and your spouse do this after you’ve made good on your hall pass arrangement. You can attend the clinic at the same time in the spirit of openness or schedule your own appointment.

Debriefing and Renegotiation

Not every couple who agrees to a hall pass will want to come together and discuss how things went. It can make for awkward conversation but ultimately, you’ll do yourself a favor in the long run.

If you take a vow of silence, doubts and uncertainties can fester. Your partner may wonder how they measure up to the person you had sex with. Minor issues at home can plant further seeds of doubt. Perhaps you refuse sex one night because of a headache. In their mind, you’re refusing sex because they fall way short of what you experienced outside of the marital bed.

Sitting down and discussing how things went can prove cathartic for both parties. You don’t need to give a blow-by-blow account, but it’s worth not skimping on the details. Some couples may find talking about what they experienced sexually titillating. In fact, it may lead to you decide that you’d like to extend the agreement with a renewed hall pass.

If you do decide to take things further, reassess the rule book. Maybe this time it’s okay for you and your partner to pursue multiple encounters. Perhaps now you can indulge in other sex acts with your hall pass partners. You may even decide that the hall pass concept is too limiting. If an open relationship seems like a better fit, consider giving this a trial run.

Is it Time for a Hall Pass Agreement?

A lot of people find themselves fantasizing about having sex with other people at some point. Many of us never act on these fantasies, but the urge still remains. A hall pass is a practical way for people to explore their sexual desires, without causing too much damage to their main situation. Provided you’re upfront with your partner and entering into a mutual agreement, it’s a low-impact way of playing the field, without causing any strife at home.

However, hall passes shouldn’t be taken lightly. You’re still going to be having sex with someone who isn’t your spouse. Take the time to talk everything out well in advance. Set limits and lay down ground rules. Once you’ve done the deed, make sure you’re discussing how it all went down with your other half. If things went well, you may be in a position to continue the experiment further. If it didn’t, maybe non monogamy isn’t right for you and you should embrace the perks of a committed romantic relationship instead.

Tips For Men/ September 22, 2022January 27, 2024

Best Hotels In London To Have An Affair

Best Hotels In London To Have Sex With Your Affair Partner

Having an affair is hard work. If you’re tired of sneaking away for last-minute encounters, it’s high time to consider scheduling a dirty weekend with your affair partner. Once you’ve locked down your alibi and freed up your schedule, it’s time to start thinking about accommodation options.

Thinking about a stay in London?

The UK capital is the perfect venue for solo vacations, let alone a dirty weekend. There’s also no shortage of five-star hotels that cater to every crowd. Need some help finding the best hotel in London for a sex-filled stay? We’ve got you covered. Read on for our roundup of the best London hotels. You’ll find everything from room options and starting rates to spa facilities and optional extras.

Best Hotels In London To Have An Affair

Shangri-La The Shard

Not afraid of spending some serious money? Shangri-La The Shard is one of London’s most exclusive hotel destinations. This five-star hotel takes up no less than 18 floors of The Shard, the tallest building in the UK and one of the largest skyscrapers in all of Europe. If you’re looking for stunning views and unadulterated luxury, there’s no better venue for your next dirty weekend or last-minute overnighter.

Room Details

Currently, Shangri-La The Shard boasts more than 200 rooms, although you’ll need a healthy budget to secure a booking here. As luxury is the order of the day here, there’s no such thing as a basic room at Shangri-La The Shard. In fact, the cheapest overnight stays will set you back around £350. If you want to upgrade to more premium accommodations, expect to pay double that.

When it comes to decor and finishing touches, every room at this hotel will impress. Even basic rooms are equipped with body-contouring beds. These are great for sleeping, but they’ll also serve you well if you’re booking a stay for a sex-filled weekend.

Most rooms also benefit from south-facing views of the London skyline. As this hotel is built into a skyscraper, full-length windows are standard. Bathroom facilities will also impress. Each bathroom is furnished in premium marble, with heated floors for maximum comfort and walk-in rain showers on hand when you need to cool off after a heated session beneath the sheets.

If you don’t plan on leaving your room during your stay, there are plenty of other amenities to keep you occupied. Each guest room is equipped with a 40-inch television, while you’ll also find a 19-inch television in the bathroom. High-speed WiFi access comes as standard, while there’s a Nespresso coffee machine if you require a caffeine kick.

Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences

Shangri-La The Shard has plenty of on-site facilities to keep you occupied during your stay. If you can bear to tear yourself away from the bed for an hour or two, head to the iconic Sky Pool. This legendary infinity pool is located on the 52nd floor of The Shard, offering unparalleled views of the capital.

There’s also no shortage of spa facilities here. You’ll find a full menu of treatments available if you’re out to impress your partner. If you don’t feel like venturing out, in-room spa treatments can be scheduled ahead of time. Meanwhile, there’s a fully equipped gym on hand if you’re booking in for a longer stay and need to keep on top of a training regimen.

This hotel also boasts three on-site restaurants, as well as one of the finest bars in London. In the mood for a nightcap? GŎNG is advertised as the highest bar in all of Europe. The bar menu is a little pricey, but it’s a small premium to pay for such spectacular views. Looking for a light lunch or late-night snack? The Sky Lounge is the place to be on Friday and Saturday evenings.

Room Service and Extras

If you’re planning a long-overdue dirty weekend, chances are you want to leave your room during your stay. Thankfully, Shangri-La The Shard offers 24-hour room service with a full menu to take advantage of.

All the other service extras you’d expect from a five-star hotel can be found here. If you’re visiting from further afield, there’s a foreign exchange counter to hand. If you’re spending more on a suite, go the extra mile and advance book butler service. For longer stays, there are also laundry and valet services.

Location

Shangri-La The Shard is located in the heart of London’s Southwark district. If you’re unfamiliar with the UK capital, this puts you on the south bank of the River Thames. If you want to get out and explore, London Bridge Underground Station is only a few minutes away on foot. From here, you can reach destinations like Covent Garden, Soho, and Westminster within 10 minutes.

The Hoxton Holborn

Looking to make a last-minute booking for a quick getaway? The Hoxton Holborn is the way to go. Nowadays, not many establishments cater to the cheating crowd, but The Hoxton Holborn bucks the trend. You can of course book an overnight stay or longer stretch here, but if you’re after somewhere to play host to a daytime encounter, the good folks here will happily provide.

Room Details

Although it doesn’t hold a candle to places like Shangri-La The Strand, The Hoxton Holborn won’t disappoint with its design and room offerings. As it’s built into a former telephone exchange, don’t expect uniform rooms as the standard here. Instead, there’s a wide variety of basic bedrooms and grander suites to choose from.

If you’re simply looking for somewhere to check in, undress, and get down to business, go with a Shoebox room. Although compact, each of these rooms is furnished with a double bed that’s more than big enough for steamy sex sessions. These rooms are also your cheapest option, with overnight rates starting at around £160.

If you want to go with something a bit larger, you’ve got Snug, Cozy, and Cozy Up rooms to choose from. Although you’ll benefit from more square footage, the basic amenities are the same as what you’ll get with a Shoebox room. Ultimately, you’ll have to ask yourself whether a marked price difference is worth a bit more breathing room.

Do you have more money to play with? The Hoxton Holborn offers ‘Roomy’ and ‘Biggy’ accommodation options. As well as more square footage, you’ll benefit from a King bed that’ll come in handy once the clothes come off.

Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences

Planning a longer stay? Unfortunately, The Hoxton Holborn isn’t brimming with premium facilities and spa options. If you’re looking for in-house treatments and five-star service, you won’t find what you’re after here. However, if your main goal is to get your end away, this shouldn’t be too much of a problem.

The good news is that The Hoxton offers a couple of decent dining options. Ready to come up from underneath the sheets for a spot of lunch? Book a table at Rondo and experience brilliant bistro dining and an epic wine list. There’s also La Cave, a pop-up wine bar that’s perfect for a last-minute nightcap.

Room Service and Extras

If you can’t face kicking back the sheets and getting out of bed, there’s a decent enough room service menu to take advantage of. Unlike other hotels, The Hoxton only offers room service between the hours of 7 am and 10.30 pm. However, you can pre-order a light breakfast for as little as £4.

There aren’t many on-site facilities to choose from here. That being said, you’re in a prime location in one of the biggest cities in the world. If you’re looking for five-star spa treatments or gym facilities, head to the front desk for some recommendations.

The Hoxton Holborn also has an on-site shop selling a selection of alcoholic drinks and snacks. The good news isn’t any huge markup to worry about. You’ll be paying pretty reasonable prices, saving you a small fortune on room service and mini bar bills.

Location

Situated in the heart of London, The Hoxton Holborn is just the ticket if you want to be within walking distance of bustling neighborhoods like Covent Garden and the iconic West End district. Technically, this hotel is classed as part of Shoreditch, one of the trendier corners of the capital. You won’t need to travel far to find trendy bars or nighttime attractions when staying here. However, if you do want to travel further afield, you’re within walking distance of Holborn Underground Station.

Karma Sanctum Soho

Some hotels are designed with romantic getaways in mind. Others put the focus squarely on sex and kink. Karma Sanctum Soho falls into the latter camp. This stylish hotel makes an instant impression. It’s effortlessly cool, with retro-inspired interiors and decorative touches lifted right out of the 1970s. If you’re after a good time, there are few better hotels in the UK capital.

Room Details

There are a lot of room options at Karma Sanctum Hotel. If you’re on a budget, it’s best to stick with a Compact Room. Admittedly, these basic rooms are lacking when it comes to square footage, but even these compact accommodations boast a King size bed. You’ve also got premium Egyptian cotton sheets and a first-rate bathroom at your disposal. Karma Sanctum Soho isn’t the cheapest of hotels, but book in advance and you should be able to secure an overnight stay for as little as £180.

Thinking about upgrading? A Superior Compact Room is the way to go. This room option provides you with all the amenities of a basic Compact, but you’ll benefit from more square footage. If you’re planning a dirty weekend, it’s best to spend a little more on one of these larger rooms.

If you plan on doing little else but having sex during your stay, it’s worth upgrading to a Superior or Deluxe Double room. Not only are these rooms larger than compact alternatives, but you also get a Super King four-poster bed. Prepared to spend more on your stay? Karma Sanctum Hotel offers no less than four suite options. If money is no object, think about going all out and booking a Loft Suite. Standout features include freestanding bathtubs, allowing you to get a little creative if you want to take the action away from the bed. What’s more, you’ll also benefit from a private entrance to the hotel roof terrace and bar.

Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences

Although this hotel doesn’t offer much in the way of spa experiences, there are excellent dining options here. Wild Heart Bar & Shokudo offers Japanese-inspired cuisine around the clock. In London, you’re exactly short on dining venues, but it’s great to have access to a five-star menu without having to stray too far from your room. What’s more, there’s a regular afternoon tea service to look forward to, with Michelin-starred chefs cooking up a storm in the kitchen.

Although Karma Sanctum Soho offers incredible dining, you’ll need to check to see what’s being served on any given day. You can enjoy the breakfast menu any day of the week, while the lunch menu can be savored every day bar Monday. Dinner options are more limited. Currently, you’ll only be able to enjoy dinner if you’re staying Wednesday through Saturday. Thankfully, the on-site hotel bar can be enjoyed any day of the week, except Sunday. However, when the bar is open, it’s open 24 hours a day. What’s more, the outdoor terrace is equipped with a bubbling jacuzzi. Perfect if you’re looking to get the party started early.

Room Service and Extras

There’s a lot to love about this hotel. However, if your time away is limited and sex is the only thing you’re interested in, you’re probably going to lean heavily on room service. The room service menu at Karma Sanctum Soho isn’t too exhaustive, but there’s more than enough on offer to keep you going until you’re ready to checkout. However, bear in mind that room service isn’t offered around the clock. You can order in from 7 am, right up until midnight. If you plan on getting up to late-night antics, it’s worth getting your room service orders early.

Location

As the name suggests, Karma Sanctum Soho is located in the heart of Soho. This is one of London’s livelier regions and is within walking distance of the West End district. If you want to get out and explore during your stay, the nearby Piccadilly Circus Underground Station is located a short walk away. From here, you’ll be able to reach iconic landmarks and must-see attractions within 20 minutes.

The Marylebone Hotel

The Marylebone Hotel is one of London’s most romantic destinations. Although you’ll rub shoulders with plenty of honeymooning guests, it’s also a popular spot for dirty weekends. If you’re looking for somewhere that goes the extra mile, there are few better hotel options in London.

Room Details

There are a lot of room and suite options at The Marylebone Hotel. However, if you’re checking in for a weekend of sex, you’ll want to rule out classic twins or compact rooms geared toward the unassuming overnighter.

The Marylebone Hotel isn’t cheap. In fact, it’s one of the priciest venues in central London. A Classic Room will set you back around £415 per night, although you may be able to make a saving if you book early enough. Although expensive, a Classic Room is the way to go if you’re looking for a weekend of no-strings sex. Even the smallest Classic Room has plenty of square footage. What’s more, Queen beds mean you’ve plenty of room for rolling about.

If you’re looking for larger beds and more luxurious finishing touches, think about upgrading to a Deluxe. The hotel advertises these rooms at £565 per night, but you can probably secure a stay for less than that if you book elsewhere. As well as being larger, Deluxe rooms come with King size beds as standard.

Thinking about a longer stay? Big spenders might be better served by a Studio Suite. The cheapest suite option at The Marylebone Hotel is a Studio Suite 1. With open-plan layouts and separate seating areas, these suites are ideal for those looking to get away for dirty weekends or week-long trysts. You’ll also benefit from floor-to-ceiling windows, providing you with premium views of this historic city. If you’re content with a Queen bed, you can pick up a suite for as little as £615 per night. Upgrade to a King bed and you can easily double that nightly rate.

Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences

Space is at a premium at The Marylebone Hotel, so don’t expect a huge variety of spa facilities here. If you’re looking to indulge, it’s worth getting in touch with hotel management to arrange in-room treatments and other extras.

Although you won’t find a huge variety of spa facilities here, The Marylebone Hotel does offer some first-rate fitness facilities. Third Space, a premium health club, can be enjoyed by any paying guest for the duration of their stay. The good news is that this is an adults-only facility, meaning you won’t have to dial things down a notch. This hotel also boasts an 18-meter swimming pool, which is something of a rarity when staying at such a central venue.

You’ve also got a couple of great dining options here. 108 Brasserie offers a full breakfast, lunch, and dinner menu. This restaurant is open every day of the week, meaning you shouldn’t struggle to secure a table. However, it’s always best to play it safe and make a reservation. For drinks, head to The Cocktail Bar. Although this bar is open to the public, it’s tucked away from the main street, meaning you won’t have to contend for a table. There’s also a terrace area you can retire to if you’re staying during the warmer months.

Room Service and Extras

The Marylebone Hotel doesn’t disappoint when it comes to extras. A full room service menu is available around the clock. Perfect for guests who don’t play on coming up for air during their stay. If you’re staying for longer, there’s also a laundry and valet service you can take advantage of.

Location

Situated in Marylebone, this hotel is located slap bang in the heart of one of London’s trendiest districts. You’ll find world-famous locations like Oxford Street within walking distance. If you’re itching to get out and explore, Bond Street Underground Station is your best bet. From here, you can catch any Jubilee or Central line train.

Final Thoughts

Tired of checking your watch to see how many minutes you’ve got left until your spouse starts texting? A hotel getaway is the only way to go if you want to get the most out of an affair. Cheating on your other half takes commitment, so why not go the whole hog and book a trip away? If you can come up with a solid excuse to get out of the house for a night or two, don’t skimp when choosing a hotel.

In London, there are hundreds of hotel options to choose from. However, it’s worth spending a little more on a five-star venue to ensure your trip goes with a bang. Planning a longer stay? If you’re in town for more than a couple of nights, avoid budget-friendly compacts and upgrade to a deluxe.

If money is no object, bite the bullet and splash out on a suite. Catering to someone with fine tastes? To make sure you get the most out of the arrangement, choose a hotel with plenty of spa facilities and five-star extras. Premium interiors and fine dining might cost a pretty penny, but they’ll boost your game and get every evening off to a great start.

cheating101/ September 14, 2022January 27, 2024

Best Hotels in New York to Have Sex With Your Affair Partner

Planning a sneaky getaway with your other woman? City breaks are always the best way to go, even if it’s for a solo vacation. New York is without doubt the best of the bunch. The Big Apple might be expensive, but you get what you pay for. With stunning views of this legendary cityscape, not to mention some of the best restaurants and bars in the western hemisphere, you’re spoiled for choice.

Best Hotels in New York to Have Sex

Thinking about earmarking New York for your next getaway? We’ve put together a list of our favorite hotels for affairs, with options to suit every budget.

Mandarin Oriental, New York

If you’re catering to refined tastes, the Mandarin Oriental, New York is the perfect place to set up shop during a weekend away. This is one of the Big Apple’s finest hotels. In fact, it’s the only hotel in NYC to be awarded a five-star review by Forbes. Luxury is the order of the day here. Even most of the rooms are sprawling compared to other accommodations in the city. Meanwhile, there’s a renowned VIP spa suite and plenty of in-room treatment options to ensure your stay goes off with a bang. Treat your other woman to a stay here and you can all but guarantee great sex.

Room Details

If it’s luxury you’re after, Mandarin Oriental will deliver. This premium caters to everyone from business travelers to couples looking for the perfect place to be down for a weekend away. Although some rooms boast better views than others, just about any bedroom in this sprawling hotel delivers the goods when it comes to Central Park vistas and waterside views of the Hudson River.

The good news is that Mandarin Oriental, New York isn’t as expensive as you’d think. A double room offering views over the Hudson River can be picked up for as little as $745 per night. As well as a large double bed, you’ll enjoy access to a separate seating area and a fully appointed bathroom. Furthermore, floor-to-ceiling windows ensure you get the best possible views of the Big Apple.

Want a Central Park view? Expect to pay a little bit more for the privilege. Starting rates for rooms with Central Park aspects are $845 per night. However, this is more than worth it for one of the best views in the city. A large double bed comes as standard, while a bathroom with a separate shower is also included. There’s also some impressive tech on offer here, with a 55-inch LED television and top-of-the-line audio speakers included.

Thinking about upgrading to a suite? You have a couple of options here. You can pick up a suite with a Hudson River view for as little as $1,995 per night. As well as a King bed, you’ll benefit from a living room and powder room. What’s more, suite bathrooms are more spacious than what you’ll find in a typical room, with dual sink fixtures and added amenities. If you’re happy to spend a little bit more on a suite, go with a room with a Central Park view. Rates start at around $2,295 per night.

Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences

Mandarin Oriental, New York won’t let you down if you’re after spa and wellness facilities. The on-site spa includes six separate treatment rooms, with a full pampering menu for you to consider. A five-star experience is guaranteed here, with designer decor and deep tubs throughout. There’s also a VIP Spa Suite for those who want a more memorable experience. For an extra special weekend of sex, think about reserving access to this exclusive suite. You’ll benefit from a private fireplace, your own steam room, and a personal shower.

If you’re looking for dining experiences, book a table at MO Lounge. This on-site establishment offers a full menu of American cuisine throughout the day. What’s more, you’ll find an impressive selection of cocktails to choose from. With unbeatable views of the inspiring NYC skyline, there’s no better place to enjoy a nightcap when you’re taking a break from the bedroom.

Room Service and Extras

If your main goal is to get your end away when staying overnight in New York, in-room dining is a must. Thankfully, Mandarin Oriental delivers first-rate dining experiences, even if you don’t feel like leaving your room. You can opt for an in-room breakfast if you order before 11.30 am, while lunch and dinner are available from noon until 11 pm. Overnight room service is also available, catering to out-of-hours requests.

Location

When you stay at Mandarin Oriental, New York, you’re within close proximity to some of the Big Apple’s most popular landmarks and attractions. The Broadway Theater District is just a couple of minutes away, while Central Park lies right next door. This hotel is also situated in the heart of Columbus Circle, one of New York’s premier shopping districts.

Crosby Street Hotel

The Crosby Street Hotel has been around for little more than a decade. However, it has quickly secured a reputation for itself. This hotel is definitely luxurious, but you won’t find yourself paying over the odds for a single night or weekend stay here. The rooms aren’t the largest in the city, but the beds are certainly big enough to play host to all manner of nocturnal activity. What’s more, this hotel boasts a secluded terrace. Perfect if you’re looking to take a breather from sex, but don’t want to stray into the crowded streets of NYC.

Room Details

The Crosby is a pretty small hotel, so don’t expect a huge number of rooms available at any one time. However, there’s a good variety here. A Superior King Room is a good choice if you’re on a budget. You’ll get a King bed, plus all the amenities you’d expect from a premium hotel, including a walk-in shower and freestanding tub. Minibars, WiFi access, and complimentary toiletries all come as standard. Room rates vary, but you should be able to secure an overnight stay for around $1,100 if you’re chasing a last-minute booking. To save money, it’s best to check your schedule and free up a few days away from home. You can make a neat saving if you book 2-3 days in a row.

If you’re after luxury, upgrade to a suite. A standard Crosby Suite offers you more square footage, as well as a larger bed so you can get up to more antics. Although you’ll benefit from premium extras, a suite will set you back at least twice the amount of a standard room. Again, timing is everything if you want to secure the best price.

Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences

There aren’t any spa facilities on offer at this hotel. However, guests can enjoy 24-hour access to an on-site gym and fitness center. What really sets this hotel apart from other boutique destinations in the city is its private lounge and drawing room. Provided you’re not a local who runs the risk of bumping into a friend or acquaintance, these romantic spots are perfect for kicking back and unwinding in at the end of a long day.

This hotel also boasts its own cinema room. Every Sunday evening, The Crosby Hotel plays host to a private film screening. If you’re looking to save on extras during your trip to New York, here’s one way to make a saving.

The Crosby Hotel can’t compete with larger establishments when it comes to fine dining. However, there is an on-site restaurant that should more than cater to your appetites. There’s also a hotel bar for nightcaps, as well as an excellent breakfast and brunch menu.

Room Service and Extras

If you’re only in town for a brief spell, you probably won’t want to leave your room for extended periods. The good news is that The Crosby Hotel offers a great room service menu. Room service is 24 hours, meaning you don’t have to play to anyone else’s schedule when enjoying a weekend of sex. What’s more, each room comes equipped with a fully stocked mini-bar to save you trips downstairs or to the terrace.

Location

If you’re staying in Manhattan, there’s no such thing as a bad location. That being said, The Crosby Hotel is located in a particularly lively spot in the SoHo area of the city. There are tons of restaurants and bars within walking distance, while the Museum of Modern Art Design is located right next door. Want to get out and explore? Spring Street station is just a block away, providing easy access to the rest of Manhattan and Long Island.

The Bowery Hotel

If you want to rub shoulders with the stars while enjoying a sex-filled weekend away, The Bowery Hotel is the place to be. As with any NYC hotel, this is an expensive destination, but it’s more affordable than you’d think. Rooms are fairly simple, but you’ll find everything you need for a steamy weekend. There are also plenty of on-site amenities, with a trendy bar and lounge providing the perfect spot to escape to if you need to catch a breath.

Room Details

Thinking about a stay at The Bowery Hotel? There are a ton of room options to choose from. However, if you’re planning a night or two beneath the sheets, a standard Queen room isn’t going to cut out. For maximum comfort, choose a Bowery King. As well as a King bed, you’ll benefit from a marble bathroom, complete with a rainfall shower. These rooms are also fairly large, with a standard King providing you with 250 square feet. If you want more square footage, go for a Superior King. A single night in one of these rooms will set you back around $785. For $30 more, upgrade to a Deluxe King. These rooms are even larger, with the added luxury of a deep soaking tub.

If you need a little more room, think about upgrading to a Studio Suite. These loft-style rooms are kitted out with King beds and separate seating areas. Perfect for longer stays, these suites are the way to go if you’re the kind of couple who like to experiment. A single night is going to be pretty expensive if you’re going the suite route. However, you can make a considerable savings by booking a couple of months in advance.

Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences

The Bowery isn’t the largest hotel. As such, there’s no on-site spa to speak of. However, you can take advantage of a range of in-room spa treatments. Need a massage? Simply speak to the front desk to arrange a pampering session that won’t cost a fortune. If you’re staying for longer than a couple of days, you can also arrange personal trainers and other premium extras.

The Bowery Hotel also has an on-site restaurant, Gemma. This Italian establishment offers a traditional trattoria menu, with experienced chefs serving up seasonal cuisine throughout the year. As this restaurant is open to the public, you’ll probably need to make a reservation, even if you’re staying during the week. If you’re simply looking for a quick drink, The Bowery Lobby will cater to your needs. There’s a huge range of cocktails to sample here, and the wine list is also impressive.

Room Service and Extras

Not in the mood for a sit-down dinner? Not to worry. The Bowery Hotel offers guests room service, whatever the time of day. The 24-hour room service menu is surprisingly extensive, meaning you don’t have to compromise if you don’t feel like budging from bed. However, don’t expect any major price difference when you compare in-room dining to the restaurant menu.

Location

The Bowery Hotel is part of Manhattan’s Lower East Side. If you’re looking to escape to the hustle and bustle of the downtown district, this is the perfect place to stay. Several subway stations are within walking distance of the hotel lobby, providing quick and easy connections to the rest of the city. However, you’ll also find several points of interest within walking distance. Hudson Square is just a few minutes to the west, while Little Italy is also nearby.

The Ned NoMad

It’s strange to call a hotel sexy, but The Ned NoMad is exactly that. With its Parisian-inspired interiors and luxurious finishing touches, no other hotel is going to put in the mood quite like this one. With more than 160 guest rooms, you shouldn’t struggle to secure a stay at this premium destination. The Ned NoMad also caters to all budgets. If you’re on a budget, there are basic room options that won’t break the bank. However, luxurious suites are also on hand for big spenders looking to go all out to impress.

Room Details

With 167 bedrooms to choose from, there’s no shortage of accommodation options at The Ned NoMad. So-called Cosy Rooms are great if you’re flying solo, but if you’re heading to New York for a weekend of sex, it’s best to upgrade to a Large Room. With open-plan layouts, King beds, and a separate seating area, you’ve all the amenities you need for a dirty weekend away. Large rooms aren’t exactly cheap at $1,200 per night, but you get a lot for your money.

If you’re after a bit more breathing room, think about upgrading to an Atrium Studio. These are as close as you’ll get to a suite at The Ned NoMad. In addition to a large bedroom area with plentiful seating, there’s a separate bathroom, shower room, and water closet. Prices are fairly reasonable, with starting rates of $1,247 per night. Every room type in this hotel also boasts an Emperor mattress, produced by leading manufacturers Hypnos. These mattresses are great for sleeping, but they hold up pretty well when it comes to more energetic bedroom activities.

Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences

Currently, The Ned doesn’t offer much in the way of spa facilities. However, in-room services can be arranged if you speak to the front desk. The good news is that The Ned doesn’t skimp on dining options and nighttime entertainment. Paying guests can enjoy access to the on-site restaurant, The Dining Room. There’s also the Little Ned cocktail bar for late-night drinks. Looking for live entertainment? The Magic Room can be found on-site and is often considered one of New York’s best-kept secrets.

Room Service and Extras

Although The Ned offers multiple on-site dining options, not everyone who stays here wants to get dressed and head down for dinner. Fortunately, this premium hotel provides an impressive room service menu. You won’t always be able to access full restaurant menus, but you will get access to a first-rate pick of light bites and late-night meals.

Location

The Ned is located within the Johnston Building, an iconic landmark in Manhattan. Public transport connections are plentiful in this part of New York. However, you’ll also find plenty of first-rate attractions right on your doorstep. The Empire State Building is just a couple of minutes away from the hotel, while the trendy Chelsea district is also nearby.

Final Thoughts

The last thing you want to worry about when enjoying a weekend of sex with your other woman is whether you’re going to get caught out. Thankfully, it’s easy to get lost in the Big Apple. If you want to be right in the heart of it all, Manhattan hotels are the way to go. A standard double isn’t going to be cheap in this part of the world, but book a stay in a highrise venue and you’ll be rewarded with incredible views.

In New York, there are thousands of potential hotels to choose from. However, to get the most out of your stay, spend a little more on a hotel that delivers. At a minimum, you’ll want a bed that’s big enough to keep you with you and your sexual escapades. Don’t plan on leaving the room during your stay? You’ll want to be staying somewhere that offers in-room dining or operates 24-hour room service. If you’re in town longer, a suite or studio room might be a good idea. These rooms can be fairly pricey, but if you book early enough, you can often bag one for the same rate as a standard double.

cheating101/ September 13, 2022January 27, 2024

How To End An Affair The Easy Way

Extramarital affairs are fun while they last. Maybe you’ve sought out a side piece to make up for a lack of passion in the bedroom. Perhaps an innocent gym visit led to a steamy encounter in the showers. However you ended up playing away from home, you’ve probably enjoyed yourself.

However, not all affairs are built to last. Some affairs only last for a month, while around half of all extramarital relationships are snuffed out before the year is out. Maybe you’re one of the lucky ones who’s been able to stretch things out for longer. Long-term affairs aren’t unheard of, with around 30% of all affairs lasting for more than a couple of years.

If all’s going well and your other half doesn’t suspect anything, there’s no good reason to think about ending things prematurely. However, now might be the time to take a step back and consider your options. Are you tired of finding excuses to escape the home and meet up with your other woman? Are colleagues starting to get suspicious about what you’re really up to outside of the office? Maybe you simply can’t afford to keep two women on the go. If managing an affair is becoming too much to handle, now’s the time to get out while you still can.

Worried about how to approach the situation? Our guide breaks down everything you need to know about ending an affair, without getting burned in the process.

How To End An Affair?

Before you start planning on how to back out of an affair, it’s worth asking yourself whether or not you’re truly ready to end things. It’s not uncommon for first-time cheats to suffer from low-level anxiety. Even if you’re only occasionally meeting up with another woman for sex, the overwhelming feeling of guilt can be distracting.

Struggling with a constant knot in your stomach? Forever looking over your shoulder? If you’re still feeling like this after months of hooking up with a side piece, you might as well take a step back and rethink your options. Even if there’s no real chance of you getting found out, these anxious feelings can sap all the fun out of playing away. Breaking things off now might be a good idea. You can take stock and reconsider your play for the future. If the itch to sleep around comes back, you can start with a fresh slate.

Sometimes, the need to end an affair is triggered by warning signs. Is your side piece getting clingy? Are they giving you the impression that they want to take things beyond a sex-only arrangement? Ideally, you’ll have made your expectations clear before dropping your pants for your first encounter. However, even the most level-headed other women can quickly become a living nightmare.

Thankfully, bunny boiler tendencies are quick to present themselves. That being said, it’s sometimes the more subtle things you need to watch out for. Is your side piece pulling out all the stops to bolster your self-esteem? An occasional compliment isn’t too suspicious, but if she’s putting in way too much effort to build you up, something else might be afoot. After all, you’re both in the situation you’re in for sex. If she’s going overboard to impress, she might be after more than a stolen hour under the sheets.

Occasionally, things might boil over early enough in a relationship for you to put the brakes on things. It’s natural for your other woman to get jealous from time to time, especially if you’ve been going at it for a few months. However, any outright threats to reveal your affair are clear signs you need to back out of the arrangement.

Destroy the Evidence

Now you’ve decided you want to break things off, it’s time to start covering your tracks. Once you tell your side piece that things are over, things can move quickly. If she takes it well, you’ve got nothing to worry about. If she takes it badly, you could be dealing with some serious fallout.

Preempt this by deleting all evidence of your affair. Have you been using dating apps to find local hookups? Remove them from your phone and personal devices. Have you been using adult-only websites and paying subscriptions? As well as canceling these subscriptions, you’ll want to get rid of any paper trail tying you to them.

If you’ve been running another woman on the side for some time, you’ve probably spent some money on her. Any man who doesn’t want to get caught out cheating should be incredibly careful when managing their finances. Prepaid credit cards and cash are the only way to go when it comes to paying for hotels, covering the costs of trips away, and splashing out on gifts to increase your odds of getting some.

However, all these transactions come with a paper trail. To avoid this issue, you should have switched to online-only statements. If you’ve been receiving paper statements and stashing them away somewhere secure, now’s the time to introduce them to a shredder. Better still, burn them.

When it comes to destroying the evidence of your affair, there’s no such thing as being too clinical. Treat the process like removing any trace of yourself from a crime scene. Even the slightest bit of evidence can give the entire game away, so leave no stone unturned when covering your tracks.

Get Your Story Straight

You need to approach the breakup itself with a clear idea of what you’re going to say. If you’ve decided you want to put a stop to things, there’s room for negotiation. Unless you’re dealing with an incredibly casual person, there’s a good chance they’re going to try and emotionally blackmail you into keeping things going.

You don’t want to approach things with a word-by-word script but should at least have a loose idea of what you’re going to say. Be accountable and take charge of the situation, letting your affair partner know that you’ve made a decision and you’re not budging from it. Unless you were stupid enough to make hollow promises of being in it for the long run, you don’t need to go overboard with apologies. Most affairs are based on sex, so you shouldn’t really have to worry about breaking anyone’s heart.

Any man looking to break off an affair also needs to prepare what they’ll say to their spouse if things go south. You might walk away from an affair-ending conversation assuming all’s done and dusted. However, there’s always a chance your side piece is going to mull things over and decide they’re not quite done with you yet.

Sometimes, you may find yourself having to deal with endless texts and late-night calls asking you to rethink your position. If you’ve been firm about where you stand, the more likely next step is your side piece trying to fuck things up for you at home. It’s rare, but there’s always the chance they’ll get in touch with your spouse, a colleague, or a friend to let me know what you’ve been up to.

Even if this happens, you don’t have to actually own up to anything. Play your cards right, and you can quickly defuse this kind of situation. Line up an oven-ready story that covers all your tracks. “She’s some nut from an office party from last year who wouldn’t take no for an answer” is a good option.

If you’re brave enough to mix fiction with truth, think about admitting to a minor indiscretion. This way, you can play the angle that a relatively trivial encounter has been blown out of all proportion. It’s a risky tactic, but it saves you from having to keep too many plates spinning. Although your spouse is likely to hit the roof at even a mild admittance of guilt, once the dust has settled, you won’t have to continue fielding questions and after.

Prepare for the Worst

There are many reasons why men play away from home. There’s no crime about chasing other women for sex, but that doesn’t mean breaking things off with another woman isn’t without risk. Sometimes, ending an affair can mean kissing goodbye to your marriage or long-term relationship as well.

You’ll know whether you’re in trouble if your other woman takes things back when you knock things on the head with her. To make the next few weeks of your life as easy as possible, assume crash positions and brace for the worst.

Getting your story straight and destroying any evidence of your indiscretions are all well and good, but it won’t guarantee you’ll get away scot-free. If you’re only tied to a long-term girlfriend, dealing with the fallout is fairly easy. Unless you’re tied down to a joint mortgage or share children with them, a relationship-ending scenario will only involve you going your separate ways. If you’re married and have a lot more irons in the fire, things get a lot more complicated.

Did you agree to a prenuptial agreement before tying the knot? Take a second look to see what this contract says to get an idea of what kind of punishment you’re in for. Infidelity won’t go down well with a female judge or jury if things end up in divorce court. Getting these agreements changed down the line is only going to arouse suspicion, so avoid this approach. Instead, get a little creative about protecting your assets. Do you have any residual income your spouse doesn’t know about? Do you have assets that you can temporarily relocate so they’re not bundled into any divorce settlement?

Putting Things into Practice

Have you decided that it’s time to bring an affair to an end? As well as taking all of the above into account, you’ll want to approach things with a clear, step-by-step agenda. Below, you’ll find a 10-step plan that will make ending any affair that much easier.

1. Commit to a Decision and Expect Consequences

Whether you’re carrying on with a colleague or seeing a married friend, you’ll need to be final in your decision to end an affair. For many men, coming to this decision is incredibly hard. If you’ve been at it for long enough, you might have built up a pretty tight relationship with your other woman. Even if you’re only it for the sex, saying goodbye to fuss-free fucking is a hard bullet to bite.

You also need to be realistic about the ramifications of ending an affair. Cutting things off with a colleague? Things could get messy at the office. If you’ve been foolish enough to chase a female manager or direct superior, expect even more complications. Been going at with an unattached single? Just because she can get back on the market as soon as possible, doesn’t mean she will. What’s more, if she’s unattached, she’ll have nothing to lose if she decides to make your life a living hell.

2. Have the Talk

Unless they’re wired wrong, nobody enjoys breaking things off with someone. Don’t assume ending an affair is going to be simpler than bringing a full-fledged relationship to a close. Things might be built on sex, but those steamy encounters might mean a lot to the other person.

If you’re worried that your affair partner might not take the news well, be meticulous when choosing your sentences. Don’t compensate for their low self-esteem by going overboard with compliments. They might see these as glimmers of hope that all’s not lost. Instead, frame it so they feel confident enough to go out and get it on with someone new.

A confident side piece might seem like they’ll take the news more easily. However, a cocky attitude is often a sign you’re dealing with a narcissist. If they think highly enough of themselves, they’re not going to be put off by your reluctance to keep things going. They might try and convince you that you’re overreacting and there’s nothing to worry about. Alternatively, they might pull the rug from under you and tell you in no uncertain terms that the affair is going to continue, whether you like it or not. Don’t pander to this kind of person. Recommit to your decision, stand your ground, then walk away.

Been seeing your other woman for years? This is a difficult situation and there’s bound to be some emotional connection here. Whatever the reason for the breakup, you’ll need to be cautious in your approach here. The good news is that, if your other woman thinks highly enough of you, they’re not going to want to cause you any problems. However, just make it clear that you’re going back to your wife, rather than freeing yourself up to pursue other women.

3. Should You Confess Everything to Your Spouse?

Depending on how well things have gone so far, it might be time to think about confessing some or all of your antics to your other half. Did you get the feeling your side piece is going to cause you trouble in the future? Rather than live with a constant feeling of uncertainty, it’s sometimes a good idea to admit to being unfaithful.

It’s ultimately up to you whether you decide on a one-off sexual encounter or a months-long affair. For most men, it’s best to pretend that things fell somewhere in the middle. No woman likes to find out she’s been played, so expect fireworks. If you have a history of cheating, your admission may be the thing that breaks the camel’s back. If it’s the first time you’ve cheated, or at least the first time you’ve been caught out, you can usually patch things up.

4. Cut Off All Contact

Now you’ve broken things off and potentially let your other half know what’s happened, it’s time to put up walls between you and your former affair partner. Block their number and delete it from your contact list. If you’ve added them on social media, remove them from your friend lists or stop using those platforms entirely. This isn’t just about preventing them from getting in touch with you in the future. In a couple of months, you may find the urge to get in touch yourself and arrange a meeting. Getting rid of every trace of them is the only way to stop these reconnections from happening.

5. Let Your Spouse Know You’ve Changed

Sometimes, ending an affair doesn’t go as planned. If you’ve been caught out and had to break off an affair to save your marriage, or simply found yourself admitting to your infidelity, you’ll need to commit to change.

Obviously, not every man who gets caught out wants to change their ways. However, you’ll need to at least give the impression that you’re prepared to work on yourself. If your spouse suggests it as a deal breaker, be prepared for couples’ counseling. It will put her mind at rest and help you position yourself as a changed man.

The problem here is that most relationship counselors aren’t idiots. If you’re still chasing skirt outside of your relationship, an experienced professional is going to be able to spot the signs. Unless you’re a sociopath with a flair for subterfuge, you’re not going to be able to cover your tracks.

How do you get around this? Try and limit any couples’ counseling to a short-term arrangement. Agree to a few sessions as a gesture of goodwill, practice what’s being preached to you, then discuss bringing things to a close. If you’re acting the part at home, there’s a good chance that your wife or girlfriend will go for this. If they need a little nudge, bring up how much counseling is costing. You don’t need to pay a stranger hundreds of dollars an hour for soundbite advice you can pull off the internet. Need to sweeten things further? Mention how that money could be put to better use, like trips away or other things to liven things up at home.

The Urge to Cheat: When to Act Again

Some men find the strain of ending an affair and patching up a marriage too much like hard work to entertain pursuing another affair in the future. However, with some careful planning, you can satisfy your sexual urges and start up another affair sooner than you think.

Admittedly, it’s best to leave plenty of time to settle in between extramarital affairs. If your spouse has gotten wind of your previous antics, they’re going to be looking for signs that you’re playing away again. In most cases, these questions are going to be there for life, but dealing with casual suspicion is different from feeling like you have the CIA on your back 24/7.

To make life easy on yourself, give it a few months before even entertaining the notion of finding your next side piece. If you need to satisfy the urge sooner than that, don’t be too proud to seek out escorts or pay for sex. If you don’t feel like paying for it, use adult-only hookup sites. There’s a good chance you’ll find more than a few women looking to meet for nothing more than sex.

If you go down this route, play it safe and lock down your alibi. More importantly, avoid meeting the same woman more than once. Your aim here should be to avoid getting wrapped up in another complicated arrangement. For now, extramarital sex should be a one-and-done thing. If you’ve swapped numbers to arrange a meet, delete the details once you’ve gotten down to business. This way, you’re not going to be tempted to arrange a second round.

Starting Up Your Next Affair

One-off sex sessions can go a long way in scratching that itch to cheat. They’re also easier to cover for. Eventually, however, the same reasons that drove you to play away in the first place are going to come back into play. After a few months or a year have passed, it might be the best time to find your next affair partner.

Where do you go to find your next side piece? If you’re still picking up the pieces from your last affair being blown wide open, don’t shit on your own doorstep. Colleagues and mutual acquaintances are a no-go. Even strangers living locally should be avoided.

Heading online is often the easiest way to find an affair partner for no-strings sex. If you’re talking with someone who’s interested in something long-term, make sure you stress you’re only looking for casual encounters. If they take the bait, make sure you’ve got your guard up during those early days. Any red flags that suggest you’re dealing with a bunny boiler in the making shouldn’t be ignored. It’s much better to back out now and block their number than leave things simmering for months. You’re only going to land yourself in hot water again.

If your other half has upped her game and is constantly monitoring you for signs of infidelity, you’ll have to get creative. Do you work for yourself? Rethink your schedule so you’ve plenty of time to hook up with potential sex partners. Finding it hard to excuse yourself from the home? See how you can adjust your routine to escape prying eyes for hours at a time. Trips to the gym are an easy way to get away for a while and you can roll out these excuses every day of the week if needed.

However quickly you decide to get back on the market, never forget how tricky ending an affair is. Some men need emotional connections outside of their main relationship, but breaking off one of these affairs can be almost as difficult as backing out of a marriage. If your sole focus is sex, a succession of one-night stands or afternoon encounters is a much better option.

cheating101/ September 1, 2022January 27, 2024

4 Best Hotels in Chicago to Have Sex With An Affair Partner

Planning a dirty weekend in the Windy City? Perhaps you’re a local looking to get away from home for a night of no-strings sex. There’s no shortage of premium hotels in Chicago, with five-star options aplenty. Ready to take your affair up a notch?

Best Hotels in Chicago to Have Sex

Don’t skimp when choosing a venue for your next meet. If you’ve freed up some time in your schedule for a solo vacation or a long-overdue dirty weekender, why not go the whole hog and treat yourself to a suite? Can you only get away for a single night? A compact hotel room in Downtown Chicago might save you a few dollars, but a cramped double bed isn’t going to cut it when it comes to getting down and dirty. Looking for the best hotels in Chicago to have an affair? We’ve got you covered.

The Langham

If you’re looking to enjoy a five-star stay, you can do a lot worse than The Langham. This premium hotel is all about luxury, offering some of the best rooms in the city, exceptional facilities, and some of the finest views of the iconic Chicago skyline. Make no mistake, this is an upmarket destination catered to guests with money to burn. However, if you’re prepared to spend a little extra, you’ll be well rewarded when checking in at The Langham.

Room Details

There are plenty of room options at The Langham. If you’re working with a limited budget, your best bet is to choose something from the Deluxe lineup of rooms. The most basic room option here is a Deluxe. Although these rooms are on the small side, they’re kitted out in stylish mid-century decor. What’s more, the ensuite bathrooms are out of this world. Rainfall showers and freestanding tubs come as standard, while double vanity units make these rooms ideal for couples. Although the most basic option at The Langham, a double room isn’t cheap. If you’re looking to make a last-minute booking, expect to pay in the region of $550 for an overnight stay.

If you want a slight upgrade, think about booking a Deluxe Premier room. You’ll benefit from a bit more square footage, but the main draw of these elevated rooms is the view. With floor-to-ceiling windows, you’ll be able to take a break from nocturnal activities and soak in the city lights. If you want a hotel room with a view of the Chicago River, expect to pay an average of $740 per night. All Deluxe rooms are equipped with full double beds, although some rooms also feature King size beds.

There’s also a good range of suites at The Langham. A Junior Suite is the most affordable option, although a single night will set you back around $1,055. Most of the other suites available at The Langham cater to larger groups, which isn’t really practical if it’s just the two of you. However, you’ll find one-bedroom suites offering stunning views of Lake Michigan. If you want to really indulge, an overnight stay in a suite like this will cost around $1,760 per night.

Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences

When it comes to spa facilities and amenities, The Langham does not disappoint. There’s an on-site sauna and health club, along with an indoor swimming pool and whirlpool. If you don’t feel like venturing too far from your bed, you can also take advantage of in-room spa treatments and massage services.

Looking for dining options? The Langham Hotel has a couple of dining establishments for you to take advantage of. The Travelle restaurant offers seasonal American cuisine throughout the week. Although you’ll find breakfast, brunch, lunch, and dinner all served here, menu availability varies depending on the day. What’s more, you’ll need to reserve a table if you want to sit down for dinner during the weekend.

For more laid-back dining, head to Pavillion. This trendy space operates on Saturdays and Sundays, offering up light bites and an afternoon tea service. If you’re booking a last-minute stay, you might not have time to reserve a table ahead of time. Thankfully, The Langham offers private dining experiences to guests with a healthier budget.

Room Service and Extras

If your schedule leaves little else for sex, you’re probably not going to be able to make it down for lunch or dinner during your stay. Thankfully, The Langham offers round-the-clock room service to paying guests. The 24-hour room service menu is surprisingly extensive, giving you access to premium eats and a pretty generous drinks selection. Naturally, this doesn’t come cheap, but it’s well worth paying a premium for the convenience.

Location

This skyscraper hotel enjoys a prime location. Situated at 330 North Wabash Avenue, The Langham lies within the New Eastside district of the Windy City. You’re just a short walk from city landmarks like Millenium Park, the American Writers Museum, and Willis Tower. Need to rely on public transport during your stay? You’ll find several “L” train stations within walking distance of the hotel lobby.

JW Marriott Chicago

Planning a stay in Chicago’s historic downtown district? The JW Marriot Chicago is the perfect place to call home during your trip to the city. This is one of the most popular hotels in the Windy City, and it’s not hard to see why. Aside from an excellent location, there’s a huge variety of room and suite options to choose from. What’s more, there are excellent spa facilities and in-house services to make your stay one you’ll remember for a long time to come.

Room Details

Thinking about paying a visit with your latest mistress? A great stay starts with the right room. Thankfully, there’s a range of affordable options for cheaters looking to camp out in style in Chicago. If you’re on a budget, a standard King room is your best bet. With high ceilings and plenty of square footage, they’re the perfect base of operations for a dirty weekend away.

Each room comes equipped with a King size bed that’s perfect for passionate nights under the sheets. Meanwhile, the ensuite bathroom facilities are excellent. Decked out in marble, each bathroom includes double vanity counters and an oversized bathtub, not to mention a separate shower. What’s a single night in a JW Marriott King going to set you back? Book early enough and you should be able to secure a room for as little as $540 per night.

Thinking about splashing out on a suite? A one-bedroom suite might be the way to go. The main perk of this room type is more square footage and a bigger bathroom. If you’re staying for more than a couple of nights, it might be worth forking out for the premium. However, if you’re looking to save a few bucks, an upgraded King room might be a better option. For as little as $665 per night, you’ll enjoy larger rooms, better views, and, most importantly, exclusive access to the JW Marriott Executive Lounge.

Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences

The best Chicago hotels don’t skimp when it comes to spa services. The JW Marriott Chicago is no different. There’s a huge menu of spa treatments and pampering services on offer here. You can schedule an in-room massage, with standards including deep tissue and CBD massage treatments. There are also some great value spa packages to take advantage of, granting you access to on-site facilities and five-star extras. This hotel also caters to couples, with a limited menu of couple experiences that are just the thing for getting warmed up for an evening of no-strings sex.

Looking for nearby dining venues? The JW Marriott Chicago has got you covered. Reviver is the place to be if you’re looking for late-night cocktails and small bites. There’s also an impressive lunch and dinner menu to delve into. The Lobby Lounge is another good option if you’re short on ideas and don’t want to stray too far from your room. This is a casual establishment, although the quality of the food won’t disappoint. If you’re looking for fine dining experiences, head to The Florentine. Located on the 2nd floor of the JW Marriott Chicago building, you’ll find a restaurant menu bursting with the best of authentic Italian cuisine.

Room Service and Extras

If your schedule is tight, you probably won’t have much time for restaurant reservations. Fortunately, the JW Marriott Chicago caters to guests who don’t fancy budging from their beds. This hotel offers an in-room dining menu that puts most room service offerings to shame. Although you’ll be able to enjoy far more variety than a typical room service menu, bear in mind that in-room dining isn’t offered at all hours of the day. Service starts at 6 am, with final orders accepted at 11 pm. However, if you’re staying for a couple of days or are a returning guest, you may have a little leeway.

Location

This five-star hotel doesn’t disappoint when it comes to location. It’s situated in the heart of Chicago’s iconic downtown district. There are countless restaurants, museums, and landmarks within walking distance. What’s more, there’s a bustling nightlife scene surrounding this hotel. If you’re driving into the city, you should be able to secure a parking spot nearby. However, there are excellent public transport links nearby to make your life easier.

The Ritz-Carlton

Looking for a central hotel to play host to a dirty weekend? The Ritz-Carlton is one of the best hotel choices in Chicago. Situated in the downtown district with superb views of Lake Michigan, this five-star destination remains popular with business travelers and pleasure-seekers alike. It’s not the cheapest hotel in the city, but if you’re looking for luxurious extras, incredible rooms, and unbeatable service, there are few better options.

Room Details

Every room option at The Ritz-Carlton screams luxury. You’ve got a choice between a Lake View or a City View room when staying at this Chicago hotel. Neither room option is particularly large, but you do benefit from spacious beds and floor-to-ceiling windows that deliver spectacular views of one of North America’s most legendary cities.

Both room types are also equipped with marble bathrooms. Expect all the amenities of a five-star stay here. One thing to keep in mind is that The Ritz-Carlton goes above and beyond when it comes to housekeeping. Expect at least two visits from the maid every day. If you plan on staying in a state of constant undress during your stay, make sure you’re using that do not disturb sign. Room rates vary slightly depending on the season, but don’t expect to spend anything less than $720 on a single night.

Thinking about a suite? The Ritz-Carlton has a few choice options. Take your stay up a notch and book a night or two at the Gold Coast Suite. Bigger beds, better views, and extended square footage come as standard here. There’s also a separate dining area, making it perfect for couples who don’t want to spend too much time outside of the bed. What’s the damage? A suite can easily set you back three times the rate of a standard room. However, if you’re thinking about spending a long spell in Chicago, don’t be afraid to ask about special rates.

Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences

This is a premier hotel establishment, so it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise to find a selection of spa facilities available. There’s a large pool for when you need to cool off after an afternoon under the sheets. Meanwhile, a fitness center and sauna are on hand when you need to unwind. In-room spa treatments can also be arranged, but it’s best to call ahead and plan your schedule with concierge services before checking in. You can book things like massages, body wraps, manicures, and more. There’s also an on-site steam room to discover.

If you can bear to tear yourself from the bed during your stay, you don’t have to go far for first-rate dining. The Ritz-Carlton has a couple of great on-site venues offering up delicious cuisine. There’s a rooftop steakhouse restaurant that should cater to carnivorous tastes. Meanwhile, The Cafe is the way to go if you’re looking for a caffeine pick-me-up or lighter dishes. Bear in mind, this hotel is in a really central spot. If the on-site restaurant menus aren’t whetting your appetites, you won’t have to stray far to find more exciting alternatives.

Room Service and Extras

The Ritz-Carlton has one of the best room service menus of any hotel in Chicago. Unlike standard room service lists that lack much in the way of choice, you’ll find a full list of in-room dining options here. If you can’t face getting dressed and heading down to a restaurant, simply dial the front desk and place your order. You can enjoy just about any of The Ritz-Carlton’s signature dishes. What’s more, there’s a full wine list to discover if you’re finding the mini-bar options a bit limited.

Location

The Ritz-Carlton can be found at Water Tower Place. If you’re new to the city, you’ll have no trouble finding this hotel and checking in. If you’re flying in, The Ritz-Carlton is just 10 miles from Midway Airport and a mere 16 miles from O’Hare International Airport. It’s also within walking distance of several Chicago L stations. Once you’re settled in, you’re in a prime location to get out and explore. Dozens of iconic attractions are just minutes away on foot.

The Gwen

Sometimes, it’s worth spending a little more on a hotel stay. Maybe you and your affair partner haven’t had the chance to get away from regular life yet. Perhaps you’re looking to sweeten the deal and secure a weekend filled with sex. Booking a stay at The Gwen is a surefire way of upping your sex game. Although it takes inspiration from the 1930s, this five-star hotel isn’t lacking in contemporary conveniences. Enjoy some of the best accommodations in the city, not to mention jaw-dropping views that will serve as a brilliant backdrop to a hot weekend.

Room Details

The Gwen offers a good selection of guest rooms and suites. You’ll pay a little more for a stay at this hotel, but that minor premium is more than worth it for five-star opulence. For a sex-filled weekend stay, a Superior King is the way to go. Each of these rooms is equipped with a spacious King size bed, not to mention a separate seating area. You’ll also have access to complimentary WiFi and all those basic extras you’d expect from any five-star hotel. The bathrooms are particularly well appointed, with marble interiors and large tubs that are perfect if you’re looking to move the action away from the bed. For a single-night stay, you’re looking at around $505. If you’re after a room with a view, expect to pay a little more than that.

Big spenders can also choose to upgrade to a suite. Unless your bank balance runs into seven figures, the Gwen Lux Suite is probably too expensive for your tastes. If you’re after something more affordable, consider a Superior King Suite. Expect all the same amenities as a Superior King room, with enhanced interiors and more square footage. A major selling point of these suites is that you get access to a private terrace. Perfect for taking a breather, these enclosed terraces are also great if you’re thinking about al fresco nighttime activity. Suite availability is limited, so you’ll need to book well in advance. What’s more, prices can vary wildly. For the best possible price, make sure you’re pointing in a reservation a couple of months before you plan to travel.

Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences

Although The Gwen doesn’t currently have an on-site spa, you can still enjoy premium spa experiences. The hotel currently offers something called the Luxury La Mer Experience. This budget-friendly extra means your other half can pamper themselves with a selection of premium spa products. If you’re looking for something more, speak to the front desk about arranging in-room treatments. However, because these treatments will need to be provided by third-party suppliers, expect to pay a premium.

Thinking about dining options? There are a few good choices at The Gwen. Upstairs at The Gwen is the place to be if you’re looking for rooftop dining and exceptional views. You’ll only find light bites and small plates here, but the drinks menu is second to none. For a more traditional dining experience, there’s Kostali by Naha. Here, you’ll find one of the best menus in Chicago.

Room Service and Extras

As with any good hotel, The Gwen provides guests with a room service option. However, the menu offerings here are fairly limited compared to other hotels we’ve talked about. If you’re only looking for the occasional dish to recharge your batteries in between sex sessions, you shouldn’t be disappointed. However, if you’re after something more substantial, it might be worth forcing yourself into a change of clothes and heading to one of the on-site dining venues. For reference, room service is available from 7 am, right up until 11 pm every evening.

Location

The Gwen is located within the McGraw-Hill Building. This historic complex is situated in the Windy City’s commercial district, meaning you’re in a prime location to get out and explore. If you want to head out for dinner, you’ll find dozens of restaurants and bistros within walking distance. What’s more, the river is right on your doorstep. If you’re driving into town, finding this hotel is easy, while parking can be arranged in advance. If you’re depending on public transport, you’ll benefit from convenient L train connections to points of interest across the city.

Final Thoughts

Keeping an affair under wraps is hard work. Even if you’re managing to keep your other woman a secret, nothing beats getting away from it all and escaping to a five-star hotel. If you’re looking for US destinations, Chicago is an obvious choice. It’s right up there with NYC and, generally speaking, hotel accommodation is far more affordable.

Even if you’ve left it to the last minute, you won’t struggle to find great rates on Chicago hotel rooms. If you can only get away for a single night, a deluxe double shouldn’t set you back much more than $500. If you’re staying for longer and want to get the best return on your investment, it’s always worth shelling out a little more for a suite.

Before you hand over your credit card details, think about what you’ve got planned. Without having to constantly look over your shoulder, you and your other woman can get out and explore. If you’re looking for evening entertainment, make sure you’re checking into a central location with great transport connections. If sex is the only thing you’re thinking about, make sure you’re staying somewhere with excellent on-site amenities and round-the-clock room service.

Dating Apps / Sites/ August 30, 2022September 24, 2024

How To Spot Bots On Ashley Madison

Since launching in 2001, Ashley Madison has made a name for itself as the premier online platform for hookups. Although this online network is open to just about any user, it’s particularly popular with married men looking to connect with like-minded singles who don’t mind playing the part of the other woman. If you’d like to learn if Ashley Madison works, check out my post.

Although popular with millions of users, Ashley Madison isn’t without its problems (Revolutionize Your Experience: Ashley Madison Tricks Revealed). For starters, it’s pretty one-sided, meaning men have to do most of the chasing. What’s more, there’s the growing issue of fake profiles, scammers, and bots. A guy looking for no-strings sex can spend hours, if not days, talking to a woman before realizing they’re actually conversing with a bot.

Admittedly, Ashley Madison has come a long way in recent years. As recently as 2015, it was estimated that there were as many as 70,000 active bots on Ashley Madison. Compared to other networks, the average user will only come up against bots now and again. That being said, you’re not completely immune to bots when navigating Ashley Madison. To save yourself precious time and ensure you’re not wasting credits unnecessarily, we’ve put together an invaluable guide to help spot bots on Ashley Madison.

Bots: What You Need to Know

Terms like bots, scammers, and fake profiles are used interchangeably. However, they’re not always referring to the same thing. Although bots can be used by human users, they’re not the same as sinister users looking to fleece men on dating platforms. Technically speaking, a bot is a type of program that’s been designed to interact with human users. The best bots are hard to distinguish from real people, with natural responses and questions that read as though they’ve been typed out by a flesh-and-blood female.

Once a scammer creates a bot, these programs can quickly create accounts and register with platforms like Ashley Madison. Although most dating sites have strict protocols in place to sniff out bots, they’re not foolproof. Once a bot has a genuine account, human users are ripe for exploitation.

If you’ve opted for automatic matching on Ashley Madison, it’s easy for a conversation with a bot to start. At first, it’s almost impossible to identify you’re dealing with a bot. Advanced bots are designed to perfectly replicate human behavior, so you’re unlikely to see any red flags with initial questions and conversation starters.

Red Flags to Watch Out For

Bots, and the scammers behind them, will quickly steer the conversation to get you to do something for them. Generally speaking, they’ll push you to part with your cash or undertake illegal activities. Sometimes, a bot may ask you to hand send a bank transfer for an urgent financial matter. Other times, they may ask you to provide your financial information so funds can be redirected through your account.

If you’re being asked to do this, you’re almost certainly being used in a money laundering scheme. At best, this kind of activity falls within a grey area. In a worst-case scenario, you’re dealing with criminal activity and you land yourself in hot water with the authorities.

Are Ashley Madison users asking for this kind of information? The moment the conversation turns to subjects like this take a step back. Ultimately, you should be reaching the block button. If you’re dealing with a bot, it’s the end of the story. If you’re dealing with a real person who’s prepared to entangle you in criminal activities, why would you want to continue talking to them?

Sometimes, so-called official bots are used by dating and hookup platforms. These bots are typically used to give the impression of more active users than they actually are. Many hookup sites and dating platforms suffer from a poor male/female user ratio, so bots are used to bolster things. Thankfully, Ashley Madison doesn’t use them. However, you’ll still need to up your guard to ensure you’re not falling foul of bots being used by scammers.

How to Spot a Bot

Worried you might be being scammed by a bot? There are several steps you can take to sniff out a bot and ensure you’re talking with an actual woman. Read on for our step-by-step guide on what to do if you suspect something untoward is going on.

1. Check Out Their Photo Gallery

Profile photos are a dead giveaway that you’re dealing with a bot, rather than a real person. It’s always a good idea to check out user photos as soon as you start dealing with someone on Ashley Madison. For starters, you’ll be able to decide whether or not you’re physically interested in someone. However, uploaded photos can also tell you a lot more about the legitimacy of a profile.

Not every user will have a profile photo or an image gallery. While some people may choose to avoid using them for privacy concerns, there’s no point wasting time on someone you can’t actually see. If someone refuses to send photos to you, even if they’ve seen yours, take this as a red flag.

If you can view photos, take a moment to see if they’re credible. Is there more than one photo? It sounds obvious, but make sure they’re all of the same people. Many scammers use stock photos to build profile galleries for bots. If these accounts have been created in a hurry, they may only have pulled together images of women that look vaguely similar to each other. When in doubt, do a reverse image search. To do this, simply rick-click the photo and then choose ‘Search Google for image’. The resulting display will let you know if these images have been pulled from stock libraries or other sources.

2. Don’t Skim Profile Bios

Profiles are there for a reason. For genuine users of Ashley Madison, they provide the perfect calling card to land a match. You can learn a lot by reading a couple of paragraphs. If you’re dealing with an actual woman, these descriptions will be more than a few sentences. If you’re looking at a profile assigned to a bot, expect generic sentences with little substance.

If you’ve been using Ashley Madison for some time and have seen your fair share of profiles, look for any recurrent lines or text that looks like it’s been copied and pasted from elsewhere. A single scammer may be using hundreds of individual bots and profiles. As such, they’re unlikely to be creating fresh content for each profile. Even if the bio description is fairly unique, think about the language used. If there are any recurring grammatical errors or spelling errors between profiles, you may be dealing with multiple bot profiles produced by the same person.

If a profile contains multiple images, compare these to the text laid out in a description. If there’s no correlation between a photo gallery and a bio description, this is unusual. Ultimately, it’s best to trust your gut. If something seems off, block the user and don’t entertain any notion of communicating with them in the future.

3. Once the Conversation Starts…

Bots are becoming increasingly sophisticated. They’re programmed to replicate human speech patterns and produce natural responses. However, even the best bot will have moments when it’s impossible to hide their artificial nature. You should remain vigilant at all times. However, it’s those first few exchanges you should be really focusing on.

Are their first few lines awkward and clunky? Sometimes, this can be attributed to nerves or that the user you’re speaking to is using English as a second language. Other times, it’s a sign you’re talking to a bot.

How relevant are their responses to the questions you’re asking? Don’t write off awkward responses as a translation issue. If there’s zero correlation between what you’re asking and the replies they’re sending, you’re most likely talking to a bot.

How do bots work? Well, they’re programmed to pick out keywords and phrases within your messages. Once they’ve gathered this information, they’ll fire back with automated responses that are vaguely related to these target terms. If the bot struggles to produce a response to one of your questions, it will change tact and shift the topic. This is a telltale sign you’re dealing with a non-human user.

4. Don’t Be Afraid to Get Personal

If you’ve signed up to Ashley Madison, you’re probably looking for no-strings sex or a casual relationship. Men looking for affairs don’t like to get personal when touting for sex partners. However, sometimes you’re going to have to bite the bullet and get personal to rule out whether you’re dealing with bots.

Bots rely on pre-programmed responses and basic algorithms. In other words, they’re not equipped to provide long-winded and involved replies to probing questions. To get over any feelings of awkwardness, use their profile for inspiration. Pick out a few key pieces of information and frame questions around this. A lot of the time, bots won’t take into account the content of their profiles. If there’s an obvious disconnect here, you can guarantee you’ve wasted time talking to a bot.

It’s also important to keep an eye out for inconsistencies. Don’t assume that conflicting details and replies are the result of casual users. In many cases, this inconsistency is because a bot can’t keep track of the crap it’s been spouting.

5. What to Do if You Suspect a Bot

If you think you’ve sniffed out a bot, stop engaging with them. Block the profile and up your game when replying to future exchanges from other users. Once you’ve dealt with a few bots, dealing with potential scammers in the future will come as second nature.

However, if you want to help your fellow man, take the time to report your findings to the mods at Ashley Madison. As mentioned before, Ashley Madison has taken great steps to eradicate bots from the platform. By sending over details of suspected bot profiles, you can help mods and the developer team safeguard other users from similar scams.

Other Tips for Detecting Bots

Whether you’re browsing for hookups on Ashley Madison or testing the waters elsewhere, there’s a lot you can do to protect yourself against bots.

Want to practice your line of questioning? Think about firing up a free-to-use chatbot first. Obviously, you know you’re dealing with a program from the off here. However, you can start asking basic questions to get a feel of the kind of language a bot will use in response. This practice method is particularly handy for helping you spot repetitive patterns in the future.

Not completely sure you’re dealing with a bot? A good way to lure out a bot is to ask about current events. Advanced bots will be able to delve into news feeds to pull out information, but the standard bots used on dating sites like Ashley Madison are clueless. If you’re talking to a bot, expect unrelated answers with little to no relevance to your line of questioning.

Another quick way to lure out a malicious bot is to switch from English to another language. The good news is that you don’t have to be fluent in a second language to deploy this trick. Simply use Google Translate or something similar to put together a quick question you can paste into your chat window. If the person rapidly replies back to you in the same language, you’re almost certainly talking to a bot that automatically deploys language translation.

Stop Wasting Time and Money on Bots Today

If you’re looking to start up an extramarital affair, the last thing you want is to waste countless hours talking to a bot. Ashley Madison is largely free of bots and criminals, but there’s still a slight chance you could end up the target of a scam.

Rather than waste time and money talking to a piece of software, make sure you’re taking the right steps to sniff out a bot. If you’re thinking about making first contact, take the time to study their profile in full. Study photo galleries carefully to ensure there aren’t any stills from stock libraries crammed in there. When in doubt, reverse search. Especially given that Ashley Madison isn’t cheat and costs money.

You’ll also need to study up on their profile bio. With this information at your disposal, you can ask probing questions that will easily determine whether you’re dealing with a human. Very occasionally, you may find yourself talking to an advanced bot. However, even these programs show their true colors quickly enough. Once the conversation turns toward money transfers and sob stories, you’ll know where you stand. Block the profile, stop talking, and send a report to Ashley Madison immediately.

Flirting/ August 24, 2022November 8, 2024

What is Micro-Cheating?

For many people in a committed relationship, cheating doesn’t actually have to involve casual sex or full blown infidelity. Micro-cheating, or emotional cheating as some call it, can be just as catastrophic for a relationship. If you’re thinking about carrying out an affair, you’ll need to get a handle on what counts as micro cheating. It can often be a case where you meet someone and it’s a right person, wrong time situation.

Even a minor indication of emotional cheating could land you in hot water with your other half. Once they spot micro cheating behaviors, they’re more likely to single out other behaviors that will give away your status as a full-blown cheat. Want to avoid a messy divorce or ending up in couples counseling? Read on for everything you need to know about micro cheating so you can stop yourself from heading down a slippery slope.

Are You Guilty of Micro-Cheating?

What defines micro cheating? Forget what you know about physical cheating and conventional affairs. As far as micro cheating and emotional infidelity are concerned, it’s all about the little things.

Most of the time, micro-cheaters aren’t actually guilty of physically focused acts. Generally speaking, micro-cheating involves anything that varies beyond social norms. This can include establishing an emotional connection that goes beyond a social connection, increased levels of physical contact, or any behaviors that veer toward the sexual. Micro-cheating typically involves behavior that has the potential to boil over into physical infidelity in the future.

It’s a fairly new phenomenon. The internet age and the rise in smartphone usage have opened up the floodgates for micro-cheating. Nowadays, it’s all too easy for would-be cheaters to send texts or social media messages to people they’re not in a relationship with. Many of us consider these interactions harmless, but this is all down to the anonymity of these exchanges.

Is it the Same as Emotional Infidelity?

Although emotional cheating and micro-cheating are often used interchangeably, relationship experts and dating coaches have differing opinions on these two terms. Emotional intimacy is a world apart from full blown cheating, but if you’re doing it away from your primary relationship, it’s still considered a big no no.

Generally speaking, this style of cheating never strays into physical territory. However, the emotional connection established with another person can involve more intimacy than in a sex-only situation. Nonetheless, a micro cheat engaging in emotional intimacy with another person has the potential to pursue a more physical relationship in the future.

Signs of a Micro Cheater

What constitutes micro cheating ultimately depends on your relationship status and what your other half considers acceptable. If your partner is pretty relaxed about things, you don’t have to worry too much about how to prevent micro cheating. However, if your relationship involves clear boundaries, you’ll need to be careful not to abuse your partner’s trust. Or rather, not be found out as a micro cheat.

Signs of a micro cheat include downloading multiple dating or hookup apps without your other half knowing. You might also be crossing the line when it comes to complimenting friends or colleagues. Letting others know what you find attractive about them or taking liberties with physical contact are also telltale signs of a micro cheat.

If you’re a social media user, becoming fixated on a stranger’s profile can also put you in the micro cheat camp. This is especially true if you’re putting in extra effort to reply to messages or comment on updates. You might also be going the extra mile to impress the object of your affections. Maybe you’re dressing differently to turn heads, or investing more time in another person than your actual partner.

Some micro cheats tend to fixate on previous partners. Are you guilty of spending hours trawling through an ex’s photo gallery? Have you been checking in on past romances with occasional texts and messages? If you want to avoid landing yourself in marriage counseling, nip this in the bud or at least up your guard. Deleting text exchanges is the best advice here, but you’ll need to ensure you’re not rousing suspicion by being overly secretive.

Micro-Cheating and Casual Relationships

You might think you can get away with just about anything in a casual relationship. However, micro cheating can be just as devastating for casual relationships as for long-standing marriages.

While casual relationships provide you with free rein to pursue sex with other partners outside of your primary relationships, the secretive nature of micro cheating can land you in hot water. The emotional investment you’re throwing at those clandestine communications is only going to cause you trouble in the long run. Remember, in a no-strings relationship, there’s no such thing as full blown infidelity. An honest conversation is all it takes to let your main partner know you’re playing away from home.

Is Your Other Half Guilty of Emotional Cheating?

Worried your partner might be engaging in micro cheating? The good news is that this type of behavior is fairly easy to spot. If your other half has become distant and disengaged, take this as a sign that their attention may be focused elsewhere. Sometimes, there may be a good reason for this behavior change. However, if your partner has previously been fairly attentive, micro cheating may be the culprit.

A change in appearance is another strong indicator of infidelity. For women, this might include upping their game when it comes to makeup. For men, a less drastic change in appearance can be taken as a sign. It’s not just wardrobe and makeup you need to look out for. If your partner is suddenly a lot more wary about their physical appearance, they may be heading to the gym or hitting the track far more than they might have done previously. That said the gym is also a great place to pickup women.

Again, consider whether this behavior change has come out of the blue. If your partner has candidly discussed not being happy about their appearance, a new workout routine or glow-up shouldn’t be cause for concern. However, if the change has come out of nowhere, they’re more than likely trying to impress someone outside of the home.

It’s also worth keeping an eye on how they’re interacting with their phone or tablet. Are they keeping their phone out of view? This could be a sign they’re worried about messages appearing on their screen that you might spot. Have they recently changed their passcode? Are they making a habit of deleting messages as soon as they’ve read them? This level of secrecy is a strong indicator they’re trying to keep something secret.

Is Micro-Cheating Always a Cause for Concern?

Micro cheating isn’t necessarily something to worry about. If both partners are pretty confident in the strength of a relationship, harmless flirting doesn’t have to make anyone feel uncomfortable or land anyone in hot water. However, you’ll need to be clear on what actually counts as harmless flirting.

Casual flirting that doesn’t stray into micro cheating territory should only ever be done in front of a partner. Furthermore, there are limits to what you can say and do to prevent you and your spouse from ending up in couples therapy. Avoid loaded innuendos or anything overtly sexual. What’s more, limit this type of interaction to people you’ve not had any romantic history with. Even an old friend is a no-go.

Additionally, make sure you’re not targeting a single individual with too much of this type of attention. It’s also a good idea to avoid things like extended eye contact or various forms of physical contact.

Does Micro-Cheating Always Lead to Physical Cheating?

Although harmless in most cases, micro-cheating definitely has the potential to turn into something more serious. If you’re actively trying to initiate an affair, micro cheating is an effective way to test the waters. If you are using micro cheating as a litmus test, be careful about where you’re doing it.

A full blown affair should be carried out well away from the marital home or your main relationship. Micro-cheating at the office is all well and good if you’re after casual attention or the odd compliment. However, an ongoing sexual affair with a co-worker is going to be hard to keep secret in the long run.

If you are using micro cheating to stoke something more serious, target your attention further afield. Social media channels minimize the chance of partners or close friends finding out what you’re up to. For maximum peace of mind, stick to dating sites and sex hookup platforms to connect with like-minded individuals who are on the same page. If you are using dating sites and affair networks, only use platforms that provide you with tools to conceal your identity until you’re ready to share more personal details (Navigate the Platform Like a Pro: Ashley Madison Tips).

Micro-Cheating Behaviors to Avoid

If you’re eager to engage in micro cheating, but want to avoid being found out, there are several behaviors you need to get a handle on. Most of the time, micro cheats will need to use their phones to communicate. If you’re using social media or text-based platforms to indulge your micro cheating needs, make sure your device usage isn’t raising any red flags. Avoid becoming fixated on your smartphone unless you want to answer awkward questions.

If your behavior is challenged, never take a defensive stance. You don’t have to be completely upfront and admit to what you’re doing, but closing off and dismissing your other half is only going to stoke the fires. Have a casual excuse lined up in the chamber you can use when needed.

If your micro cheating falls into sexting territory, you’re clearly crossing into infidelity territory. If you want to continue these interactions, you’ll need to up your game to keep your interactions a secret. A burner phone is an absolute must. Keep this secondary device a complete secret from your partner and make sure there is no paper trail. If you need to pay for a call plan, do so from a prepaid credit card or anonymous e-wallet. A single paper statement landing in your mailbox will instantly give the game away.

What Causes Micro-Cheating?

Even if you’re not actually entertaining the idea of having a full blown affair, you may still find yourself engaging in micro-cheating. Why? Well, there’s more than one reason why men and women engage in this kind of behavior.

Perhaps you’ve been married for many years or attached to the same person for a long time. Many of us tied down to the same partner for long enough tend to struggle with our sense of identity. You might be feeling like your individuality is slipping away or that you’re having to repress parts of yourself. Micro cheating provides an easy and relatively harmless outlet that can help us recapture a sense of identity. Sending an occasional flirtatious message via social media or removing a wedding ring before heading out for a night on the town are small acts of rebellion. A positive social media response or moment of sexual attention from a stranger can do wonders for our self-esteem.

Although a healthy outlet for some people in relationships, micro cheating can become addictive. The rise in social media has made this even more of a problem. If your spouse is noticing a change in your behavior, it’s probably time to limit your interactions with strangers and casual acquaintances. If you find yourself experiencing withdrawal symptoms, take this as a sign that your micro cheating behaviors have drifted into addictive behavior territory.

There are other signs to watch out for. Are you turning to social media to satiate your micro cheating urges after a fight with your partner? This is a red flag that your micro-cheating is following an addiction pattern, rather than something more casual. Are friends and colleagues commenting on the connections you’re making with strangers? If these people are observing your behavior and commenting on it, your other half is bound to follow suit.

Should You Admit to Micro-Cheating?

This is a thorny issue. If your other half has become suspicious of your actions and you think the subject is going to be raised, it’s worth getting everything out in the open before things boil over. In many cases, minor acts of micro cheating aren’t going to derail a marriage or lead to the end of a relationship. However, continued secrecy is going to cause you all manner of problems.

If you do find yourself having to explain your behavior, use it as an opportunity to establish relationship boundaries with your other half. Don’t outright admit to having done anything wrong. Instead, reframe the conversation. Talk about how the relationship has clearly evolved and now’s the time to discuss new boundaries that both parties are happy with. If you’re feeling as though your partner is throwing the blame squarely in your court, consider bringing up a few things you’re unhappy with. Micro-cheating is generally harmless, but accepting blame at this point is going to leave you ripe for criticism in the future.

At this point, some couples may actually find they’re both happy to open up their relationship to new experiences. If you’ve been micro cheating to satiate a growing need for action outside of your primary relationship, now might be time to discuss branching out into a polyamorous scenario. However, be incredibly cautious when it comes to raising this topic. Unless you’re completely confident that your partner has a similar desire, just touching on the issue can trigger a breakup.

How Common is Micro-Cheating?

Infidelity is more common than you might think. Around 12% of married women have admitted to having sex at least once with someone other than their spouse. For married men, the number is almost twice that. However, micro cheating is far more commonplace. In fact, depending on what you consider counts as micro cheating, just about everyone might be guilty of it in some way.

Can You Get Away with Micro-Cheating?

If you’re bored with your current relationship and want to spice things up a little, micro cheating can be a rewarding outlet. Furthermore, it’s a relatively victimless crime. It’s not as loaded as a physical affair and, provided you’re reining things in with your online exchanges and interactions, there’s a strong argument that you’re not actually doing anything wrong.

However, before you start sliding DMs into strangers’ inboxes, think about the state of your current relationship. Are you involved with someone whose default setting is to be highly suspicious? Micro cheating is likely to land you in as much hot water as a full blown affair. Harmless flirting or a casual compliment might seem minor to you, but if your partner sees the red flags of infidelity everywhere, these tiny things can become major obstacles to your relationship.

Thankfully, keeping micro-cheating a secret is fairly straightforward. You can reserve all of your interactions to social media or online-only platforms. Although you’ll need to be careful about sending and reading messages, you can limit your texting and calls to outside of the home. For complete peace of mind, a burner phone is a solid investment and will save you a world of hurt.

Fortunate enough to be in an open relationship? Just because you have the green light to have sex with other people, doesn’t mean it’s open season when it comes to micro cheating. For many people in open relationships, micro-cheating is more problematic than it would be for married couples. Be open and upfront about your pursuit of new partners. After all, you’re in a pretty lucky situation where no-strings sex is not just acceptable but expected. Remember to check out our piece on the best places to cheat and not get found out.

Dating/ June 29, 2022January 29, 2024

How To Use Tinder If You’re Married (for affairs) | But Is It Worth It?

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last 10 years, you’ve probably heard of the app Tinder. It is one of the most popular dating apps in history and has completely revolutionised the way people meet each other. If you have been living under a rock, let me tell you a little about Tinder.

What is Tinder?

Tinder is a dating app that allows users to find potential matches based on their location. It uses GPS to show nearby users who are also using the app. Users can then swipe right if they are interested in the other user, or swipe left if they are not. If both users swipe right, then they are a match and can chat with each other.

How does Tinder work?

Tinder is very simple to use. First, you need to download the app and create an account. Then, you will be asked to provide some basic information about yourself, such as your name, age, and location. After that, you will be able to see potential matches near you. Swipe right if you are interested in the other person, or swipe left if you are not. If both users swipe right, then they are a match and can chat with each other.

What are the benefits of using Tinder?

There are many benefits of using Tinder. First, it is a great way to meet new people. You can find potential matches based on your location, which makes it very convenient. Second, Tinder is a great way to start a conversation. It can be difficult to start a conversation with someone you don’t know, but Tinder makes it easy. All you have to do is start swiping. Third, Tinder is a great way to find love. Many people have found lasting relationships through Tinder. Finally, Tinder is a great way to have fun. Swiping can be addictive, and it’s a great way to pass the time.

How To Use Tinder If You’re Married And Have An Affair

I was always fascinated by Tinder. I mean what a cool, modern and easy to use app – or at least I was told. I was dying to get on it, but being married and knowing loads of people in general, it seemed like a recipe for disaster. A couple of my buddies used it with some success and whenever I was with them, I always enjoyed the whole swipe left and right feature.

Tinder was created after I’d got married and so not only could I not use it when I was single, but using it after I was married wasn’t going to happen. That said, a friend of mine brought to my attention, that there was an upgraded version of the app that would let me use the app without other people seeing my profile.

Wait, what now?

Enter Tinder Gold – What Is It?

Tinder Gold is a paid subscription service that gives you access to certain features that are not available to non-paying users. These features include:

Get the gold treatment.

We know you. You live in a world where every moment counts—where speed equals success, you’re always on the go, and you can’t let anything slow you down. Especially your Tinder feed.

That’s why we created Tinder Gold, a members-only service, offering our most exclusive features: Passport, Rewind, Unlimited Likes, five Super Likes per day, one Boost per month, and more profile controls—as well as our new Likes You feature, so that you can see who likes you before you swipe. Think of it as your personal Swipe Right concierge—available 24/7—bringing all of your pending matches to you. Now you can sit back, enjoy a fine cocktail, and browse through profiles at your leisure.

How Can I use Tinder Without My Wife Knowing

Along with the regular Tinder features the MOST IMPORTANT thing about Tinder Gold for a guy like me was the fact that your profile would only be shown to people you liked. There was a setting that allowed you to do that. It effectively would hide your own profile, until and as such as you liked someone else’s….How Cool!!!!

That effectively meant that unless you were drunk and blindly swiping away without even looking at the pictures, you were totally protected.

Now whilst of course Tinder didn’t market this as a feature for married people, there’s no doubt that one of the smart people on their team realised that by introducing this feature, it would open the floodgates to lots and lots of married guys just like me.

I couldn’t have been more excited. Every second I got I was swiping away but of course I realised something… Whilst this feature existed and kicked ass – this app was still mostly and heavily used by single people. And let’s be honest, the last thing that single gal wanted was to meet a married guy on an app like Tinder. There were plenty of other cheating apps and sites out there for them to do that on.

Die With The Lie

Now typically, and as I’ve said in past blogs, I was past lying about being married. In fact, I realised that admitting it early on usually meant there were no games and allowed for a smoother ride; everyone knew where they stood right off the bat.

But just by the very nature of this app, I was going to have to pretend to be single. I was going to have to pretend not to be married and I was going to have to pretend that I didn’t have 3 kids. And despite cheating for so long, it all felt a little strange to do that.

Bio

It of course started with my bio. Now usually on sites like Ashley Madison (Upgrade Your Profile: Ashley Madison Tricks That Work), most men’s bios read the same. We would write the truth:

‘happily married, don’t want to upset anything at home – looking for a little excitement’.

But you just couldn’t do that on Tinder. You actually had to make something up. So I told the truth about what I did for work, I mentioned that I travelled a lot between London, Dubai, Miami and NYC – and whilst I wasn’t quite ready to settle down, I was looking for someone interesting to hang out with. I even used my real pictures, but a totally fake name. That said, here are 131 best bio on Tinder for men.

My Cover Story

The trouble with getting a match and starting a conversation meant that it involved a heck of a lot of back end work. I had to reactivate my fake Facebook profile from years ago. And I had to use a different burner phone, a new twitter handle – and setup an entirely new cover story.

It wasn’t easy, and truth be told was a lot of work. Of course once you got past the initial chat, and they had checked you out online, you of course would end up meeting.

I used to say that I’d come out of a crazy marriage to a psycho. She was completely nuts and I was just getting back out there. I played the sympathy card quite a bit – and to my surprise it did work. But it did inevitably open up a whole new can of worms, with the new Tinder Date asking loads about my ‘ex’. Some even going out of their way to give me sound advice on how to move on.

I’m sure there were plenty of other ways to do things and I tested a lot of them, but this one seemed to work the best for me.

Why Would A Married Man Have A Tinder Profile

With so many apps and sites out there, the question of why a married man would have a Tinder Account comes into question. Now given that I don’t speak for all men, I can only tell you why I did it. I cheat. Like a lot. And of course I have my own reasons, but for me it was total fascination. The app came out after I was married and plenty of people I know use it with great success. I had FOMO!

Stupid Features of Tinder Gold

There were some features that were counter intuitive on Tinder Gold – so for example hiding your profile and only showing it to people who you liked was amazing. However, the Super Boost was in complete contrast with that, and literally broadcast your profile for hours on end, without even being able to stop it. In fact I actually hated the Super Boost and sometimes found myself triggering it without realising and then praying that someone I knew wouldn’t come across my profile.

Is Tinder Gold Worth It

Old Data But Interesting

I found this article in the Guardian from back in 2015, which decided to quote a report from the GlobalWebIndex (GWI). To save you the trouble of going through the data, even back then, it was suggested that of those surveyed, 30% of Tinder Users were married, whilst 12% were in relationships. Of course Tinder hit back at these findings and refuted them whole heartedly but even now, in 2022, there’s no denying that Tinder has this magical draw not just on single people, but also married ones too.

The Results

I did end up meeting someone who was divorced. She was absolutely gorgeous, an Optician, with the most amazing fashion sense and legs up to her tits. A complete bombshell. She had completely bought into the story of my breakup and would often find herself giving me advice on how to cope with divorce and get past it.

She very quickly fit into the roster, however, I won’t lie – just keeping up with the lie, and juggling everything I’d told her about my ‘ex’ was mentally exhausting. There was just too much to remember.

After I met her and we really clicked and things got physical, I found myself in a rush to delete Tinder altogether. It was without doubt the best app I’d ever used in the dating world but the cover story, the lies, the fake social profiles – it was all too much.

I had been spoilt for too long being accepted by other women for being married, and whilst Tinder was incredible, almost addictive, the not being able to come clean about being married just meant there was too much on the back end that needed doing. There were far easier ways to cheat using other sites online without all the necessary dramas.

That said, as long as you’re careful and avoid the Super Boosts, it’s definitely worth a shot. Saying you’re married will just make you look like a creep so be sure to have your back story, social profiles and burner phone ready.

Happy swiping.

cheating101/ January 3, 2022January 9, 2024

How to Convince a Woman to Cheat with You

Thinking about cheating on your other half? Get ready to learn how to lie. You’ll need endless excuses to get out of the house to meet up with your side piece. Of course, you’ll also need to actually get the attention of another woman in the first place. If you’re not too concerned about striking up a personal connection, this is fairly easy. Dating apps for affairs and hook sites make it easy to find someone focused solely on quick sex with no questions asked. However, some men prefer more of a challenge.

Perhaps you’ve got your eye on a new co-worker. Maybe there’s a woman at the gym who’s turned your head more than once. It’s easy enough to break the ice with casual conversation, but moving things up a notch and convincing a woman to cheat with you is a different matter entirely. Need some tips on how to convince a woman to commit to an affair? Read on for everything you need to know.

Is She Already Taken? How To Get A Girl To Cheat

Most men looking to cheat keep things simple and seek out unattached singles. This way, you’re not competing with the attention of other men. Sometimes, it’s easier to seek out married women looking for no-strings thrills outside of the marital bed. However, there may come a time when someone catches your eye, only for you to find out they’re already involved with someone. Unless they’ve got a history of cheating, it can be difficult to convince a married woman or someone in a long-term relationship to do the dirty on their spouse. It’s not always easy, but by turning to a few tried and tested tactics, you can increase your odds of landing your next hookup.

Is it Okay to Cheat with Someone in a Relationship?

Don’t lose too much sleep over the fact you’re chasing a woman who’s involved with someone. If she’s giving even the slightest indication she might be interested in you, you’re not crossing any major boundaries. We’re not living in the Middle Ages anymore. Adultery might be a crime in more backward corners of the world, but the urge to play away is entirely natural.

What’s more, if you’re looking to broaden your horizons, you’ll want to cast the net wide and expand your pool to include attached women. The best candidates have almost always been snapped up already. Don’t see this as a barrier to getting your own way. Instead, think of it as a challenge.

Getting a vibe that she might be interested in you? If she’s only slightly considering cheating on her partner, she’ll do it sooner or later. Better with you than with someone else.

How to Spot a Potential Cheater

Before you start wasting time convincing a woman to have an affair with you, take a moment to think about why they might be looking to cheat in the first place. Sometimes, a woman might not be getting it at home. If you have your eye on a sex-starved married woman, you won’t have to do too much convincing to get them into bed. Sometimes, a woman might simply be lonely, even if she’s been attached for months, if not years. These are ideal targets if you’re looking for extramarital encounters.

Is someone in your social circle running their spouse down in conversation? Many women aren’t afraid of letting people know just how little they think of their spouse. If a co-worker or casual acquaintance isn’t holding back when it comes to shitting on their spouse in conversation, you’ve got a clear opening. Chances are, they’re not looking for reassurances about their relationship. More likely, they’re throwing out an invitation and looking for a bite.

Convincing Them to Cheat….How To Make A Girl Cheap?

Lined up a target? Now you can start putting the moves on them to convince them to cheat with you. Some men avoid pursuing married women. Extramarital affairs can get messy, especially if both parties are hitched, but an unhappy wife is usually far easier to play than a free and easy singleton.

Getting Married Women to Cheat

Women in unhappy marriages and long-term relationships tend to suffer from low self-esteem. If they’re getting little in the way of emotional support and intimacy at home, they’re ripe for the picking. You have got a couple of options here. If you’re feeling brave, move right on in at the perfect time and let them know you’re in the market for sex. If you’re happy to play the long game, build them up a little. Let them know they’re worth more than a sexless marriage and reinforce the idea that they’re worth far more than what they’re getting at home.

If you’re going the long way round, be prepared to do your fair share of listening. And we say listen, we mean it. Listen to their gripes about their home lives. Make sure you’re taking stock of the things they’re unhappy about. This information is gold dust. When the times come to play your cards, you’ll need to draw on all of this to win them over.

If she’s been suffering in silence for a long time and hasn’t yet strayed from her spouse, don’t expect to get what you’re after immediately. It might take weeks, if not months to convince them to get down and dirty with you. Wait until she starts giving you telltale signals that she wants to take things to the next step. Are your interactions becoming more physical? Is she being more loaded with her compliments? You’re now in a strong position to lay everything out on the table.

Getting Single Women to Cheat

Not every woman you’ll be interested in will be attached to a boyfriend or husband. However, if they know you’re involved with someone yourself, it’s not as easy as letting them know you’re up for sex.

Convincing a single woman to play the role of a sidepiece can be difficult, especially if they’re a colleague or someone within your social circle. Thankfully, there’s a lot you can do to sweeten the deal and increase your odds of getting an affair off the ground.

If you have your sights on someone, make sure you’re working your own relationship gripes into casual conversation. Avoid overloading exchanges with complaints. Play too hard here and you may come across as unreasonable. Instead, put the aim on your other half. Mention how your schedule is being monitored. Let your prospective sex partner know you get little time to yourself.

You can blur the lines between reality and fantasy here. If you’re genuinely stuck in a rut at home, you’ve plenty of information to draw on. However, if you’re simply looking to get more sex, you can get creative when buttering up a prospective side piece.

Some singles will love the thrill of being the other woman. However, others are going to approach the issue with more caution. If they’re not involved with someone else themselves, they don’t stand to lose much. That being said, they probably don’t want to get branded a slut for playing around with someone else’s man. If you think sex is on the cards, let them know you’re looking for discretion and that this goes both ways.

Where to Find the Best Cheating Prospects

If you’re looking to chase sex outside of your relationship, you’ll first need to find a willing partner. Sometimes, you’ll happen upon the ideal candidate by chance. However, some men need to go out of their way to find someone willing to engage in an affair. Need some pointers? Below, we’ve outlined some of the best avenues worth exploring for men looking to cheat.

Reconnect with an Ex

This might seem like a dangerous route to take and some friends will tell you that you’re playing with fire. If your current spouse knows about your ex, they’re probably already wary of you making contact with them. However, a background level of suspicion isn’t the same as actively scouring your social media accounts for telltale exchanges or monitoring your texts.

Ex-partners are a great place to start if you’re having trouble finding a woman who’s happy to cheat with you. In an ideal world, you’ll be dealing with an ex who hasn’t quite gotten over you. Just approach with caution. Make sure any relationship is limited to sex and physical encounters. Once feelings start coming into play, you leave yourself open to emotional blackmail and, before you know it, you’re entering Fatal Attraction territory.

Has an ex kept in contact with you since the relationship ended? Test the waters to see what they’re actually after. If reconnecting and casual sex comes up in conversation, take the next steps and arrange a meeting. Keep it casual with drinks and, if the topic turns toward sex, move things forward.

Workplace Affairs

The majority of affairs start life at the office. In fact, it’s thought that as many as 85% of affairs begin as workplace-based relationships. Most people spend just as much time with co-workers as with their families. If you’re working a full-time job and putting in countless hours of overtime, it’s easy to build strong relationships with co-workers. The good news for men looking to cheat is that more time at the office usually gives you a clear idea of which women at your workplace are likely to cheat.

Managing a workplace affair can be messy, especially if there’s an eventual fallout. To make life easier, approach a workplace affair with a degree of professionalism, no matter how hot and steamy the sexual side of things is. The good thing about a workplace affair is that, should one of you eventually break it off, the other party is going to want to save face. There’s not likely to cause a scene in front of colleagues if things go south. If they do, they run the risk of damaging their reputation and, in a worst-case scenario, force themselves into a situation where they have to leave.

Fellow Gym Users

The gym is the perfect place to find someone for no-strings sex and casual encounters. For starters, it’s easy to escape without drawing too much suspicion from your other half. Most gyms are open around the clock, meaning you won’t have to come up with last-minute excuses about where you’ve been.

Obviously, most people who hit the gym are there to work on their bodies. However, there’s an element of vanity to most gym visits. Men and women alike like to showcase their physical assets in public and the gym is one of the few places where you can do so unashamedly. These peacocking public displays often turn heads. Sometimes, this recognition is innocent enough. Other times, it’s more loaded.

If you’re getting regular attention from the same person, take the next steps and make contact. Roll out your usual icebreakers to get the conversation started. If the compliments are forthcoming and the tone is loose enough, don’t be afraid to be more upfront. Gym users with no boundaries aren’t going to be too worried about where they undress and go at it. As such, gym restrooms and shower cubicles provide the perfect venue for clinches. However, if you’ve made a connection in the middle of the day, it’s best to take the action elsewhere. Suggest heading out for a drink after you’ve finished your workout and take it from there.

Make Life Easy and Head Online

If you want to keep things streamlined, head online. Many dating apps are free to use and, provided you’re making use of anonymity features, you can use them without attracting suspicion from your other half. Hookup sites like Ashley Madison (Ashley Madison Tips: The Ultimate Playbook for Online Dating Success) are also worth exploring, especially if you’re looking for no-strings sex and don’t want to explain yourself.

Even if you’re dealing with someone who promises discretion, you’ll need to be a bit cautious. Extend your search radius so you’re not shitting on your own doorstep. You don’t want to walk past a one-time squeeze in the street while you’re out shopping with your wife or girlfriend.

How to Convince a Woman to Cheat with You

Convincing a woman to abandon her morals and cheat with you isn’t rocket science. However, different women require a different approach. If you’re targeting a married woman at the office, a delicate touch is needed. You’ll also need to be patient, preying on self-esteem issues and playing up your own virtues. If you’re looking for single women to have sex with, things are simpler. If they know you’re involved with someone, you’ll still need to put in the work to convince them you’re not a complete dirtbag. What’s more, even the most open-minded side piece is going to expect a level of discretion from your arrangement.

Author: Ryan Miller (Guest Blogger)

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Sexual Desire and Older Women

What Does Aging Do to the Body?

Getting in the Mood Over 50

Make Time to Talk

Don’t Overthink It

Take Your Time

The Importance of Foreplay

Spice Things Up with Sex Toys

Don’t Be Afraid to Experiment

Use Supplements to Boost Your Sex Drive

Spontaneous Sex isn’t Always Practical

What Do Older Women Expect in the Bedroom?

Final Thoughts

How to Get Over a Married Man

Is it Time to End the Affair?

Taking the First Steps

Block His Number

Avoid Contacting Him via Social Media Platforms

Focus on Passion Projects and Hobbies

Rebuild Your Social Life

Don’t Be Afraid to Start Dating Again

Consider Getting Professional Help

What is Sexting?

Navigating the Grey Area

Is Sexting Really Cheating?

Is Sexting Cheating?

It All Depends on Who You’re Asking

Can Sexting Lead to Affairs?

It Promotes Unhealthy Sexual Fantasies

It Can Drive a Wedge Between You and Your Partner

Repeat Offenders Will Get Caught Out

It’s Not Always Innocent

It Can End a Relationship

Can Couples Move Past a Sexting Scandal?

Something Casual Meaning?

1. They’re Not Thinking About Long-Term Plans

2. They Won’t Expect Too Much From You

3. They Might Not Be Interested in a Monogamous Relationship

4. They Won’t Expect You to Be at Their Beck and Call

5. It’s Not Always Strictly About Sex

When Do Casual Relationships Turn into Something More Serious?

They’re Opening Up to You

Sex with Other People is No Longer a Thing

Is Casual Dating the Way Forward for You?

What is a Hall Pass in a Relationship?

Hall Passes Explained

Is the Hall Pass Concept the Same as an Open Relationship?

Key Differences

Should You Agree to a Hall Pass?

Alternative Options to Hall Passes

Setting Ground Rules

Be Completely Honest About Your Expectations

Set a Time Limit

Is Anyone Fair Game?

Be Responsible

Debriefing and Renegotiation

Is it Time for a Hall Pass Agreement?

Thinking about a stay in London?

Best Hotels In London To Have An Affair

Shangri-La The Shard

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The Hoxton Holborn

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Karma Sanctum Soho

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The Marylebone Hotel

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