Signs a Female Coworker Likes You But is Hiding It
Office romances aren’t always ideal, but if you struggle to get out and mingle with the opposite sex, they’re a great place to meet interested women. However, they’re a little more complicated than everyday relationships. Arguably the most difficult part of an office romance is working out whether or not a female coworker likes you or not. You might think you’re a body language expert, but you probably know how to look for the most obvious signs that’ someone’s interested in you.
Deciding whether or not a female coworker is interested in you is difficult. Obviously, working out whether she’s interested or not is essential if you want to pursue a relationship. However, you also need to know whether you’re misreading innocent behavior as something else. Make the wrong move and you run the risk of landing yourself in hot water with HR and becoming the focus of office gossip.
Is She Interested?
Do you have your eye on a female colleague or think you might be the target of her affection? Don’t be too surprised if there’s a genuine attraction simmering away. People spend more time with their coworkers than they do with their friends and family. During busy spells, the camaraderie you establish with colleagues can cement relationships. As you spend time with colleagues, you share intimate details and talk about interests and passions. All this conversation can stoke the fires of romance, providing the perfect foundation for a relationship.
Wondering whether you’re dealing with a genuine spark? If she’s asking you personal questions and going out of her way to spend time with you, take this as a good sign. However, there are far more subtle signs that will help you determine whether or not she’s romantically interested in you, or simply being friendly.
Obvious Signs a Female Coworker is Interested
No two women are the same, so identifying signs a female coworker likes you but is hiding it can prove a challenge. However, most women interested in pursuing a relationship with you are going to be leaning on the same behaviors. Need some help identifying those telltale signs? Read on for our guide on what you need to watch out for and how to deal with it.
She’s Asking Questions About Your Personal Life
Let’s start with one of the most obvious signs that a female colleague is looking to take things further. Is she asking you about your home life? Have you been asked questions about your relationship status? Sometimes, these questions are innocent enough. If you’ve been thrown together to work on a new account or complete a project, she may just be trying to break the ice.
Is she being coy when asking about your home life? If she doesn’t outright ask you if you’re involved with someone, she probably doesn’t want to look like she’s fishing for information. If she’s keeping her guard up, it could be an indication that she’s scoping you out.
These questions can keep on coming, long after you’ve made it clear you’re involved with someone outside of the office. If she’s particularly keen, she may be looking for fault lines that can be exposed and exploited. If you’re up for indulging in an office romance, this shouldn’t be a problem. However, if you’re happy enough at home and want to keep unwanted attention at bay, look out for these probing questions.
She’s Finding Excuses to Work With You
If someone is going out of their way to spend more time with you, there’s a strong chance they’re romantically or sexually interested in you. This sign is easier to spot in certain workplaces. If you’re based in a co-working space and regularly need to collaborate with other people, she might make an effort to be placed on your team. She might suggest you work together on special projects.
Again, make sure you’re not dealing with innocent attention. It may be the case that she values your professional expertise and wants your input on a specific assignment. You’ll know soon enough what her intentions are once you start working together. If you quickly veer from briefs and the work requirement isn’t there, you’re almost certainly dealing with someone who has made an effort to steal time with you.
If you’re employed in a business where coworking isn’t the standard, this kind of behavior is far easier to spot. In fact, it can be very obvious. You need to be wary about how other colleagues are viewing this. If you’re currently involved and open to the idea of a workplace affair, just bear in mind that your colleagues are going to be observing these exchanges.
She’s Inviting You to Social Events
This is another of the many signs a female coworker likes you but is hiding it. Female colleagues regularly use this as an excuse to spend time with a guy they’re interested in. By inviting a man to a shared social event, there’s less suspicion placed on them. What’s more, it’s a safe space and takes the action outside of the radius of office gossip.
Once again, you need to take a step back and determine whether a social invite is an innocent act or something more. Most colleagues socialize with each other during the week, especially during the holiday season, or to celebrate milestones at work. Have you been asked to attend leaving drinks for an outgoing employee? Don’t be too suspicious about this invite. Have you been asked to join a night out to celebrate the landing of a new account? There’s nothing untoward about this.
That being said, you might not realize anything strange is going on until you actually arrive at the social event. Just because she’s told you several people from the office are going, doesn’t mean they’ll actually turn up. If you arrive to find it’s just you and her, you’ve been duped. Likewise, if you’re arriving to find a group of people made up of strangers, she’s probably engineered the encounter to avoid office gossip.
If you’ve just joined a new company, receiving invites to social events is pretty typical. Don’t be too cautious when accepting these invites during your probationary period. You’ll quickly get a feel of the place and be able to read the vibe of the person doing the inviting.
She’s Sabotaging Your Interactions With Other Women
Now we’re entering red flag territory. You can read a lot into a woman’s intentions by the way she responds to your interactions with other female coworkers. Have you been receiving some side-eye action after talking to female colleagues who aren’t her? If you’re only dealing with someone with an innocent crush, you don’t have too much to worry about. However, if a female colleague is harboring deep feelings for you, just talking to another woman can cause huge problems for you in the office.
If you have a feeling someone has their eye on you and wants to pursue things with them, you can use your interactions with other women as a litmus test. Look out for stolen glances as you chat with a female colleague at the water cooler. If you spot more than a couple of these, there’s a strong chance she’s getting jealous about you spending even a slither time with the other members of the opposite sex.
However, you need to be careful when dealing with the jealous type. If your colleague is sitting on feelings for you and they haven’t been reciprocated, there’s always the chance she’s going to go out of her way to cause trouble. If she’s developing a complex about a particular woman you’ve been interacting with, she may go out of her way to make life difficult for them. If she’s talking trash about them to other people, it’s probably a ploy to drive a wedge between the two of you. A jealous colleague may also seek to sabotage work projects and assignments to reflect badly on you and the person she sees as competition.
She’s Letting Her Body Language Do the Talking
When it comes to body language, you have a lot to draw on when looking for signs a female coworker is interested in you. A simple smile could be a dead giveaway that a woman is interested in you, but is too shy to take the next step. That being said, sometimes a smile is just a smile. Is she flashing a grin at everyone she passes in the office? The chances are this is just a way of saying hello. However, if you’re the only one receiving the smile treatment, take it as a sign that she’s got her eyes set solely on you. If she’s nervous when smiling or saying hi to you, this is another good indicator that she’s sitting on romantic feelings.
A more confident colleague isn’t going to be shy about using more obvious body language to let you know how they feel. Physical contact is a clear sign that someone’s interested in you. During a conversation, there’s no real need for someone to go out of their way to make contact with you. A friendly pat or casual slap may find its way into an innocent exchange. At first glance, this seems meaningless, but if she’s itching to get to know you, these touches are loaded.
Take note of any accidental contact as well. Is she brushing up against you way too often? Does she always seem to be navigating those tight corridors when you’re in the vicinity? This could be an attempt to get close to you.
A little physical contact can be fun, but don’t get up in the thrill of this. If you don’t intend to pursue things with a colleague, you’re essentially leading them on for a cheap thrill. If they have it bad for you, those fleeting touches will mean a great deal to them. Let the pot simmer for long enough and you could be encouraging more erratic behavior down the line.
She’s Giving You Gifts
It’s not unusual for colleagues to give each other little gifts from time to time. However, when you find surprises left on your desk you weren’t expecting, you could be entering crush territory. If a colleague is leaving you gifts a little too often, step back and consider the nature of your relationship. If you’re only casual acquaintances, there’s really no call for gift-giving unless it’s your birthday or you’ve had some bad news and you need cheering up. Even then, it’s unusual for someone you don’t really know to make the effort.
Sometimes, a colleague who has it bad for you will go out of their way to treat you without drawing too much attention to themselves. Keep your eyes peeled during the holiday season. Most workplaces will organize a Secret Santa exchange. If a woman has their eyes on you, they’ll do everything they can to pull your name from the lot.
It’s not just gifts you need to watch out for. Little notes and surprises can find their way onto your desk too. These might be innocent enough, but try and acknowledge them as quickly as possible. You don’t want to start some secretive exchange with the other person. If you want to make good on the relationship, just approach them. If things are making you uncomfortable, politely let them know you’re not interested or off the market.
She’s Dishing Out Too Many Compliments
Everyone loves hearing compliments aimed at them. However, most of us don’t pay too much thought to them beyond the immediate ego boost. For a coworker with a crush, however, compliments are a go-to tool in their arsenal.
Have you just paid a visit to the barber? The chances are high that you’ll get a few compliments on your new look when you’re next in the office. However, if one colleague goes out of her way to shower you with positivity, consider this a sign she’s interested in the whole package.
We all dish out compliments from time to time, but there’s a difference between a sincere compliment and a hollow one. Is a female coworker lauding you for something incredibly trivial? She’s probably going out of her way to find things to comment on. The reason for this? She wants you to know she notices you and appreciates you. If you’re interested, you shouldn’t be afraid of starting a volley. Firing back a compliment to her is a fuss-free way of letting her know you’ve got your eye on them too.
She’s Revealing Way Too Much Information
Once a coworker has managed to secure some alone time with you, they’ll probably start revealing information about their private life to you. Some women (and men for that matter) love to gossip. Make sure not just on the receiving end of chatter before deciding you’re being buttered up for a romantic entanglement.
If you’re spending time with a female colleague and they’re unpacking a lot of personal information, consider the contents before deciding whether or not you’re dealing with someone with a crush. Is she talking about family problems? This is probably innocent enough. Is she talking about vacation plans? Everybody does. However, if she’s waxing lyrical about how an ex-boyfriend messed her around in the past, she may be probing you to gauge your interest.
Of course, some women are far less reserved in the stuff they’ll come out with in conversation. If she has no inhibitions, she may start talking about intimate details, sexual preferences, and more. This kind of conversation isn’t always targeted, but it’s often a sign that someone is looking to pique your interest.
Sometimes, things are more complicated. A woman may simply be looking to make an emotional connection with someone. The fact that you’re a man is secondary to that. You could be dealing with something strictly platonic. However, these emotional connections can evolve into something more. Over time, those supportive conversations can blossom into a romantic interest. It’s often a healthy way for office romances to catch fire and these dynamics usually result in stronger relationships.
She’s Putting More Effort into Her Appearance
This sign is easier to spot than others, but it only usually becomes apparent once someone has started to take an interest in you. If you’ve recently been paired up with a female coworker and she’s started to dress differently, she may be going out of her way to make an impression.
Sometimes, a woman upping her fashion game has nothing to do with the opposite sex. If however, she’s investing a lot of effort into her appearance, it could be an indicator that she’s looking for compliments and wants you to notice her. It’s not just clothes that are a giveaway. She might be wearing a new fragrance or changing up her cosmetics.
A new look could be just that. She might also be getting dressed up to head to a social event after work. When in doubt, ask her if she’s got something planned that evening. If the answer is now, you could be looking at a clear sign that she likes you, but wants to let her looks do the talking.
She’s Done Her Homework
Does it seem like a coworker knows more about you than they should? If a woman has a romantic interest in you, she’s probably done her homework. Maybe she’s asked around the office about your background and interests. It’s also pretty easy for someone to jump online and browse social media platforms to get some information about you.
Most of us turn to Facebook to get a little more detail about someone we’re interested in. Most of the time, it’s innocent enough. However, if she’s become something of a cyberstalker, you should approach her with caution. This kind of background-checking behavior doesn’t always make for a healthy relationship. What’s more, if you’re not actually interested in them, you can feel like you’re under siege.
If you suspect that someone is using social media and online channels to discover insights about you, consider planting some false flags. You could even create a dummy profile and load it with content. If they’re looking you up online, they’re almost certain to drop something into the conversation to demonstrate that you have shared interests. If you want to take the bait, now’s the time to do it. Hopefully, they’ll navigate away from stalking you online and be more direct when it comes to getting to know you instead.
She’s Sending You Mixed Signals
Women are complicated creatures. Just because she’s got it bad, doesn’t mean she’s always going to be positive in her outlook toward you. One minute she could be showering you with compliments and sharing inside jokes, the next she’s frosty as a snowman and giving you the cold shoulder.
This kind of behavior isn’t just typical of a temperamental colleague. It should suggest that she’s besotted with you. People act crazy when they’re in a relationship and they can still bring emotional baggage to a one-sided one.
She might be quietly furious with you because you’ve not complimented her on a change in her appearance. Maybe she’s spent time getting clued up about something you’re interested in, only for you not to engage with her in conversation. Although you’ve not done anything wrong yourself, they could see it as a slight. Mixed signals are a staple of conventional relationships and, unfortunately, they’re par for the course when it comes to crushes as well.
Other People Are Taking Note
You don’t have to be a relationship expert yourself to notice that someone in the workplace has their eye on you. If someone is into you that much, other people will notice this behavior as well. Has a work friend dropped a comment that someone has been acting strangely around you? Are other women in the office talking about a change in someone’s behavior? If you socialize with your coworkers, don’t dismiss these kinds of insights.
Is the Attraction Mutual?
Once you’ve determined that someone is interested in you, take a step back and consider what you want to do next. If you’re seeing someone else and don’t want to carry on an affair, it’s best to put the dampers on things. You have a couple of options here. The easiest way to bring things to a close is to quietly point out to your besotted coworker that you’re involved with someone else and not in a position to pursue a relationship with them. However, this won’t always go down well. They may accuse you of misreading the signals to save face. If they feel slighted enough, they may even take things up with HR to land you in hot water.
A safer option is to simply pull away from interactions with the coworker in question. Keep things strictly professional at times. This means dispensing with anything close to a compliment and avoiding social interactions with them outside of the workplace. It also means avoiding one-on-one interactions with them. Sometimes, you may be forced to work alongside the other person. If you can’t quietly request an alternative assignment, try and limit the time you spend with them as much as possible.
Interested in pursuing a romance with your married coworker? Some guys enjoy being chased and revel in the attention. While it can do your ego the world of good, the longer you let someone quietly crush on you, the more complicated things can become. It’s not the healthiest way to start a relationship. If you don’t formalize things quickly, you need to be wary of your general interactions with other colleagues. This means limiting the time you spend talking to female coworkers and managing your interactions with women in general. If you’re interested and the attraction is mutual, act on it.
Is an Office Romance a Good Idea?
Office romances are incredibly common. More than half of people report being open to the idea of a workplace romance, while more than a third of people have had a one-night stand with someone they work with. However, if you’re a committed professional, pursuing a relationship with a colleague might not be the best idea. It can disrupt your everyday working life, especially if you work within the same department.
What’s more, a breakup is going to really complicate matters. If the breakup is a messy one, you may find working life unbearable. Do you really want to transfer to another branch or pursue a brand new position entirely? Even if you remain with your employer, you can pretty much forget about pursuing office romances with other women in the future.
It’s interesting to me that people still use the word mistress. Nowadays, it’s been replaced by the phrase affair partner. Maybe because there’s no word for a male mistress. But to save you time and energy to dig out the answer, I can tell you right now, it’s all the time. When I had a mistress/affair partner – I thought about her all the time.
How Often Does A Married Man Think About His Mistress
In fact I couldn’t stop thinking about her. There’s something about the forbidden that’s just so intoxicating. We used secret channels to communicate and I would be like a high school child, checking my phone all the time to see if she had replied.
We want our cake and we want to eat it too. Having a strong relationship with my wife is what gives me the confidence to go out and cheat (as counter intuitive as that sounds). But having a strong marriage and seeing other women is literally the definition of having your cake and eating it.
And in that journey of cheating, sometimes you’ll meet a woman that you become completely infatuated by, maybe even worse – you fall in love. Having strong feelings for other women that come into your life can be totally dangerous. Almost debilitating.
When affairs turn to love
I stupidly fell in love with my last affair partner. Head over heels in love with her. I never called her my mistress, but she was married as well but her husband, whilst a nice guy, was dull. What she wanted was some excitement in her life. And to her, the answer was me.
Like me she loved being married, but understood it was possible to develop feelings for someone else. And once things got serious between us, our relationship grew stronger and stronger. We were talking all the time and the affair was getting quite intense. She was constantly thinking about me and I was her.
Married Men Take Their Wives For Granted
It’s not uncommon that married men can take their wife for granted. And her husband was just like this. Their marriage was strong but he was taking her for granted a lot. There were quite a few signs that his behaviour was never going to change – and whilst she accepted it, she needed some sort of thrill.
Our feelings for each other grew to the point where we were completely in love.
And despite us talking all the time and constantly messaging each other throughout the day, like non stop, I still thought about her all the time.
Why Do Married Men Think About Their Affair Partners All The Time?
Married guys live pretty monotonous lives. Despite starting off their marriage being wildly in love, chances are ten years later, the feeling of in love has just been replaced by regular old love. And with kids, life and work – it’s a fair assumption to say they live pretty monotonous lives. I mean isn’t that true of most people?
The point about having an affair partner is that it’s exciting. It’s like having this secret that no one knows about and yet you want to shout about it from the rooftops. You want to show her picture to your closest of friends and watch them melt endlessly with jealousy.
You just can’t.
But this excitement is why so many of us have affairs. Being single and seeing multiple women just wouldn’t have the same buzz.
So to iterate on some of my points above, we think about our mistress all the time. We want to talk to them all the time, we want to be with them all the time, we just can’t get enough. I would liken it to having a crush on someone. There’s a certain level of infatuation that takes over.
My Current Affair Partner
I’ve recently started seeing someone new. She’s a journalist, she’s hilarious and I just can’t get enough. I’m completely besotted by her and at every opportunity I’m messaging her. She’s single (and knows I’m a married man) and typically answers my messages almost instantaneously. I’ll constantly look for excuses to carve out a few minutes, even when I’m home (fake visits to the toilet, etc..) – to just check in with her.
I’ll generally send one of my cheeky but charming messages:
I sensed you were thinking about me, just wanted to check in and say X
That’s it. Of course the sarcasm and irony comes through and gets an equally funny response:
What makes you believe I was thinking about you and not the pile of washing that I need to tend X
And on and on the banter would go, back and forth. Whether I’m at work, at the gym or sometimes at home, I can’t get her out of my head. I can’t stop myself thinking about her. I’m mentally planning our next date, the restaurant, the hotel, the cover-up – I’m figuring it all out.
The Real Question
There’s a strong possibility that given the title of this blog, logic would tell me that the 2 type of people who are reading this are:
i) someone having an affair and in the same boat as me, wildly think about his mistress
ii) a wife, someone who has either caught or suspects their husband is seeing someone else.
The Married Man Having An Affair
If you are having an affair and are wondering if it’s normal to be spending more time thinking about your mistress than your life – then I get it. Don’t worry. It’s totally normal.
I’ve been there. I am there right now. However I will say this, if you are thinking about your affair partner a lot, if and when you go through a breakup, I can tell you from experience, that this too will weigh on your mind and occupy your thoughts for a long while.
It works both ways. And if you’re foolish enough to fall in love with her, then that breakup is going to be even harder to deal with.
Wife Reading
If you are a wife reading this post – as sad and hard as this is to understand, thinking about one’s mistress is normal. It’s normal for him to think about his mistress. You can’t legislate his thoughts. If you’re sure he’s seeing someone else, then address the bigger problem. Get help, see a therapist and deal with the matter head on.
First World Married Man Problems
I like attention. It’s pathetic but true. I need it, I crave it and quite often I shower my affair partners with attention like they’ve never had. And why? Not because I love doing it, thought I’m great at it, but because some twisted part of me feels that by giving so much, I’ll start to get some back.
Having an affair is going to lead you down a rollercoaster of emotions. You’ll feel things that you haven’t felt in years. From butterflies in your stomach to being reminded of what heartbreak feels like. So as I always say, do meditation. Learn to manage your state as best as you can, if not – you’re going to get caught out.
I wish there was an answer. The right answer. That would stop you letting your imagination run away with you, but I don’t. In fact I’ve told you quite the opposite. And that is if you are a married man having these thoughts, it’s ok. It’s normal.
The truth is when you think about how often does a married man think about his mistress, the actual question should be, when doesn’t a married man think about his affair partner. A married man can’t help himself.
But there’s so many different types of cheating. Not all cheating is physical. Some can be emotional, some micro, others can be one night stands, office flings, texting an old-ex and everything in between.
All of which I’ve tried. However, I’ve come to appreciate that for me, the best form of cheating is having an affair, and ideally with someone who is married (this way they have as much to lose as I do).
Affairs Are The Pinnacle Of Cheating
There’s something about that girlfriend experience that beats all the other forms of cheating. And whilst it is deep and more emotionally involved, there’s a level of maturity to an affair that a one night stand just doesn’t have.
Hearing patients who have been cheated on, day in day out, had really taken its toll on him. He went on to tell me that the worst type of cheating was the affair. He explained that in his experience, a wife could forgive an office fling or a drunken one night stand; but what they can never get over is the betrayal of an affair. Not because of the sex, no, because of the emotional cheating. That emotional connection with another woman, that emotional intimacy, would break her more than knowing you were in bed together.
Emotional Infidelity
Whilst we have talked about this and micro cheating in past blogs, there’s something for me that’s very profound about being emotionally connected with an affair partner. It makes the relationship better and it sure as hell makes the sex better. And let’s be honest here, it’s nice to actually have deep and meaningful chats with a beautiful woman without her reminding you when to pick up the kids or to take the trash out.
There’s many reasons why men cheat, but married men who have affairs have been known to hook up with whomever is the lowest hanging fruit – which is why office romances and trysts are rampant. Most of them never get to have full blown affairs.
What I Learnt About Myself
There’s 2 huge things I learnt about myself over the last 10 years:
1) I prefer affairs over all other forms of cheating. By a long shot.
2) It’s so much easier to say to your affair partner that you’re married, and if they are too they’ll get it. They’ll respect the time you need to spend with your family without getting jealous and will know their place in your life automatically. Just as I know my place in their world.
3) There’s a maturity to it all which you can’t put into words, but I now understand more than ever why so many French Politicians have full time mistresses. Many of whom have told their wife; which is perhaps one step too far for me.
Advantages Of Having Affairs
1) They know the score. You’re married, they’re married – everyone has to keep their mouths shut.
2) Given she knows you’re married too, she’s never going to show up to your house and turn your life upside down.
3) It’s like dating and having a girlfriend all over. It’s exciting.
4) The conversations are much deeper.
5) The sex is so much better.
6) There’s no nagging.
7) They’re less needy.
The Disadvantages Of Affairs
1) It can get too emotional. Affairs can turn to love so quickly, sneak up on you and bite you in the ass before you even realise.
In the early days, when I was on the hunt for a cheating partner, anyone would do. Beggars can’t be choosers. I’m married, I have kids – I needed to just take what I could get. In those days, these were mostly flings and one night stands.
And yes, they were great. Like super great. I’m hardly complaining that I had sex with a bunch of hot women – no sir.
But they were emotionless, robotic and had short lived. My sex life would thank them, but not my brain. These meaningless relationships (if you could even call them that) just weren’t aligned with my personality.
I love learning from people and once they’re out of your life within a week (or sometimes 24hrs) – it’s hard to build that relationship into that.
My Last Affair
My last affair was amazing. She was a doctor, drop dead stunning, intelligent and I loved her to pieces. I truly loved her with all of my heart. She was the first affair partner I ever had that made me consider leaving my wife. We would debate against one another, share common interests, laugh together and learn together. I would encourage her with some of her projects and she would support me in the things I was doing.
We were perfect partners.
And of course like any relationship, we would also argue and stop talking to each other for days. Yet somehow, we managed to get past all of that and would always run back to each other. Sometimes in the moments we weren’t talking, we’d see it as a sign to reflect and wonder whether or not what we were doing was right. Often our fights would serve as a red flag, to the cheating. The bold faced cheating.
The Beginning Of The End
Sadly, one day, she started to pull back a little. I was the first person she’d ever had an affair with and I could just sense something strange was happening. She’d read messages and not reply, she’d call me less, our calls were shorter and lacking in romance. It was clear that this was the beginning of the end. Our arguing increased and I was struggling to deal with the new reality.
I kept asking her if this was over, but I knew it was heading that way. She was feeling more and more guilty each day and was struggling to look her own children in the eye. She’d also stopped having orgasms whilst having sex with her own husband. It was going to be obvious soon if it wasn’t already that she was up to something. There was simply no point in continuing.
We don’t talk. Which is a shame but also a blessing. There was going to be no happy ending to this situation. And as much as I find myself sometimes feeling anger towards her for pulling back, for distancing from me – I remind myself of how much good came from being together. How amazing the good times truly were, how much I learnt, how much I felt love and being loved again. She was the best affair partner I’d ever have and I’d do anything to have that back again.
But sadly, it is true, sometimes good things do come to an end and not everything lasts forever. What we had, when we had it was the best. The possibility of it ever happening again are less than zero and even knowing that is a blessing.
Since Then
Since then I’ve had a string of flings and one night stands. But none of them have even come close to having an affair.
The right affair partner is almost like having the perfect girlfriend. They boost your confidence and they truly are there for you every step of the way. I’ve heard of some affairs lasting for years and years, and after having had quite a few affairs, I can actually see how that’s possible.
People assume that people like me cheat just for the sex. That we simply aren’t getting it at home and so we go out hunting. That’s a completely unfair assumption.
The actual truth is many of us cheat because there’s something about getting that attention exclusively from someone that is absolutely so undeniably addictive.
Warning About Affairs
If you’re the type of person that already cheats but is just in it for the sex, then this article really isn’t for you. But if you are looking to take your cheating to the next level, then you are 100% my target audience.
But be warned. I’ve had 2 amazing affairs in the last 3 years. They were truly incredible. Like going out with my first ever girlfriend incredible. However, with all that happiness, when it all goes wrong, the breakups are just awful. And it will feel like someone has ripped your heart out off your chest and shattered it into a million little pieces.
Now you may think it’s worth it; thinking that going through that pain is worth having the amazing feeling that an affair brings. And for people like me it’s definitely worth it and been worth it – every time.
But what you have to ask yourself is this, whilst going through a breakup, are you still able to go home and act normal around your wife and kids without attracting attention? Now I wish I had a tip, trick or strategy to making that part easier – but I’m also lost here.
For me, the end of every affair is emotionally draining, yet somehow, I have to go home and play the happy husband and dad, because if I don’t, it’s going to be obvious. As if breakups aren’t hard enough. And remember you can’t share it with anyone (other than maybe a therapist), which I’ve never done. But you can’t tell your friends, you can’t tell your work mates, and of course you can NEVER tell your wife.
You simply suffer in silence.
Are You Ready For An Affair?
If you think you are ready for having an affair, be sure to play it all the way through in your mind. Of course it’s like being on cloud nine. But at some point even the best affairs end, and do so abruptly and badly.
And when I look back at my last 2 affair partners, what I miss the most, more than the chats and the sex and the laughter, is the emotional intimacy.
I didn’t know what to expect when I started down the sexual affairs route. I used to love my flings. I thought my future would be flings and one night stands only. And whilst that did happen often, they were unfulfilling. No one prepared me for what a life of emotional affairs and intimacy would look or feel like.
No one warned me that feelings would even be involved. That people would get hurt.
My Advice About Having Affairs
So here is my advice, if you ever consider having an affair, please read this post again. Please take into account the pitfalls as well as the highs. Committed relationships with an affair partner isn’t always for everyone. When looking outside your marriage, some people like variety and a primary relationship with just one person may not even be appealing.
However in real life, it’s easy to get sucked into an affair. It can make you reckless and arrogant and lead to suspicious behavior and raise suspicions at home.
My gut feeling has always been the thing that I follow in my life. And whilst I’ve always had plenty of short term flings, that’s never really done it for me. I’ve never really wanted to make more effort with someone I had a one night stand with, but for the perfect affair partner I’d go to the ends of the earth.
It’s a beautiful thing and if you’re ever lucky enough to find someone that gives you all the things that are missing from you life and fills you with happiness and makes you want to spend time with them, like all the time – then by all means, go for it. Just be careful. And know, after it’s all over, it’s hard.
Approach anxiety is actually a thing – it’s almost a phobia. That said, I never realised it had a term. The best definition I found online said:
Approach anxiety is an irrational fear which can stop you from engaging in conversation with strangers. It causes you to overthink and therefore, fear most interactions. The root of the issue can stem from inexperience, low self-esteem, past negative experiences, or the overall inability to turn off the racing thoughts in our head. While approach anxiety usually used in regards to relationships and dating world, it can be applied to a large majority of social circumstances as well.
And if this is something you have, then I promise you this is the article for you. We’ve helped tons of men get over this quite easily, and whilst it’s not something I have myself, I actually witnessed it firsthand just the other day. I got to see how crippling it was for someone so confident that I was shocked.
Just The Other Day
Just the other day, I was on a boy’s night out. I was with 6 good friends, some of them married, some single and a couple of them divorced. An eclectic bunch and whenever we’re together, it’s always a big night. Lots of booze, lots of laughter and a lot of chatting about women – typical guy stuff.
We’re sat at the back of this bar and a couple of tables away sat the most attractive lady. She can’t have been much more than 30 and looked Mediterranean. I was guessing Greek.
There wasn’t a guy in the place that hadn’t seen her. And as each of my friends shuffled in to reach our table, almost all of them said the same thing when they arrived:
‘did you see that girl? how hot is she!’
She sat with a group of people who didn’t really look like friends. I guessed given it was a Friday night, she was probably with her work bunch. It started off large, but as the night went on, their group dwindled until there were only 3 of them left. She was giggling away and would only stop to take her next shot!
One of my friends (single), kept looking at her. He would constantly turn around and just stare. It got to the point that he was making me feel uncomfortable. I couldn’t help myself, I had to say something:
‘bros, just go over there and talk to her. what’s the worst thing that can happen?’
Now this guy is successful, single, good looking, well built and stylish – he has everything going for him, but to my utter surprise he started to reel off the reasons he wouldn’t go over. He would say things like:
‘I’m scared, what if she laughs at me, she’ll just ignore me, her friends will laugh at me …..’
There’s this great scene in the movie Hitch where Will Smith’s character walks over to a stunning lady in a crowded bar surrounded by men, and very artfully pulls her away from them and has her get interested in him. He made it look so easy. And that’s because if you know what you’re doing it really is.
My Turn / My Ego
There’s something about being with a group of guys that when you pull off something epic like that, it’s not just about getting a number or a kiss that’s amazing, it’s about doing it in front of them so you get to keep that legendary status.
Looking like a hero in front of the boys is one of the best feelings in the world. And just from sheer frustration at my friend, it was time to go and be a legend, to show him that even if I didn’t get anywhere, the worst thing that would happen was something I could live with.
And so I did it. I stood up and before I bowled over, I remember saying the cliché line:
‘watch and learn boys.’
Now I’ve never had approach anxiety. I’d been rejected so many times in my teens that I had just become immune to it. I’d learnt to never take it personally and realised anything short of her throwing a drink in my face, I could live with.
As I headed over, I could feel my friends watching me and burning a hole in my back. I almost sensed they wanted to see me crash and burn just for the fact that I gave my friend such a hard time for being a ‘pussy.’
What Happened Next?
As I walked over, our eyes met and I gave her a cheeky smile which she reciprocated by the time I got to her table. I introduced myself to all 3 of them and asked if they were celebrating or if this was just a standard Friday night. They said they were on a work do. I explained that I was on my way to the bar and noticed that they were having shots and if I could get them another round.
They politely declined. I couldn’t have been with them for more than a minute.
I headed over to the bar and bought myself 4 shots and came back with the tray. I never use chat up or cheesy lines. I generally just say what comes to mind, but I was 100% focused on getting her details. So I came back with the tray and said something like:
‘you’re all having such a good time, I just want to be a part of it for a minute’.
They were grateful for the shots and we slammed them together almost immediately. I then looked ‘my lady dead in the eye’ and said:
‘chances are I’ll never see you again and I’m not one for wasted opportunities.’
I handed her my phone and asked if she was on instagram. She smiled and said ‘of course‘. And I said:
‘just stick your details in there and follow yourself please.’
I then had her pull out her phone and accept my friend request.
I didn’t ask for permission, I didn’t ask if she wouldn’t mind giving me her details, I effectively told her just to give them to me. And before I wandered back to my table like an even bigger hero, with my chest puffed out, I told them to come and join us for some more drinks whenever they were free….
Legendary status complete
My friends saw it all and as I headed back the sounds of shouting and banging the table filled the bar. I sat down to an array of compliments and pats on the back. I simply looked at my friend (the one who didn’t go over) and said :
The night ended at 3am and I was on Cloud Nine. Not because I had gotten an attractive lady’s number. No. But because I had done it with ease, class and speed in front of my friends.
Of course, the next day was hell.
The hangover had kicked in and I was feeling sorry for myself. My wife had no sympathy as it was all self inflicted and I found myself almost forced to get back to my kids’ activities and homework, which I dutifully did.
To my surprise, typically I spend the next day thinking about the lady whose details I’d scored. But not this time.
This time, I started to really understand and appreciate the crippling effects approach anxiety had on someone. And whilst I’ve helped loads of guys get over it, witnessing it first hand made me understand just how many amazing women that men were missing out on simply because they just didn’t take that first step (literally and metaphorically).
When I had a moment, I called my friend and decided to have the chat. I asked him why he didn’t go over and he made a valid point:
‘If I was in a group and she was there, I’d have been just fine. I’d have shone and flirted and would have probably got her details, but that fear of rejection…’
And he couldn’t finish his sentence, but it all made sense.
Fear Of Rejection
There’s something about rejection that is just so awful. It’s almost impossible to not take it personally and for many people, can bring up some awful memories and feelings.
As kids not getting to play with certain people, not being invited to a party, not being picked for the right team – it leaves painful scares and a lot of people hate that feeling so much that it impedes them trying new things. It stops them from taking risks and chances, because to hear the word NO can be so destructive.
Believe you me, I’ve been there. I’ve been rejected by women, friends, teams, clubs, jobs, breakups, you name it – I’ve had it all. And each of those times I took it personally, I would think to myself I wasn’t smart enough, cool enough, handsome enough, etc…
It’s almost impossible not to go inside and have your ego shattered and your self worth devalued. I get it!
And yet I got over it, how come others couldn’t?
How To Overcome Approach Anxiety…
If you’ve ever read any of my articles on this site, the one thing you’ll learn about one of my pet hates is that I hate generic advice.
Before even writing this piece I bounced around google to see what advice men offered. In part to find something helpful and non generic that I could send to my friend. And all I could find was utter shit. The internet was filled with just theory and methods that in real life would simply never work.
What’s never ever going to work is tactics and magic chat up lines, or even copying what I said to that lady when I met her. No. And why? It’s because to think that all women are the same way, or all of them respond the same way is just foolish!
Overcoming any anxiety comes from a place of working on yourself. Whether it’s with a coach or through meditation or whatever, the answer lies in how you respond to dealing with rejection.
It’s almost like interrupting the Pavlov’s Dog Theory. So your default reaction isn’t to go inside and feel bad, feel sorry for yourself and devalue yourself. God no. It’s about breaking that habit.
I’m never going to deny that walking over to any woman is hard. But then again so is cold calling, knocking on people’s doors, sales etc.. All of these things require you to have a certain degree of thick skin.
So how do you go about getting over approach aniexty?
Meditation – I’ve noticed that meditation has greatly improved my life. It’s not just been a calming effect. What I noticed, is that one of the most profound effects was that other people’s opinions of me didn’t matter. In the martial arts world, they teach you about being grounded and centred. They teach you that your emotional brain is in your stomach. So when you have extreme responses, you always feel them in your tummy. So start meditating. And I don’t care whether or not this will help you get more women, meditating will improve all aspects of your life and will attract more of what you’re looking for to you.
Feel good – Don’t get it twisted, whether you’ve sold anything in your life or not, when you’re flirting you’re selling yourself. And the simple trick to selling anything, be it a product or a service or even yourself is simply this: illicit a good feeling in your prospect and associate that to yourself or your product/service. And how do you go about doing that? Well it’s about feeling good first. Have you ever been round a group of people or spoken to someone that’s having a good time or laughing away. It’s practically contagious. Here’s a little trick for you; the brain doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined. So if you were to vividly remember what’s it’s like to be on the front of a rollercoaster as it whizzes around the track, your smartwatch would clearly show you that your heart beats would go up. Don’t believe me, try it! And the same is true about feeling good, if you’re not in the best frame of mind, remember a good memory. Stop and remember what it was like, what you heard, saw and felt and just allow that same good feeling to come back. Only when you are in a state of feeling good is it time to make your approach. Every rejection from a woman I ever had, the one thing in common was that I was being mechanical, going through the motions but I wasn’t in the right state. Never underestimate how contagious feeling good is.
Posture / confidence – there are so many studies that have linked good posture to confidence. Always work on your posture. If you have a desk job or are on your phone a lot, the chances are your posture will have taken a bit of a hit. And when you think about all the people who you know in your life that lack confidence, you’ll notice that their posture isn’t great. Good posture makes you feel better, standing taller makes you feel more confident. And to a lot of women, being confident is a turn on. And if you’re reading this and thinking well I’m a shy person – then my response to that is this: be confident about being shy! Always play to your strengths, don’t change your personality to impress someone. So if you’re shy, stand tall and be shy confidently. There’s nothing wrong with shyness, just be the best at it.
Deal With Rejection Better / Don’t take it personally – I’m the first to admit, that even though I see multiple women, many of whom are so far out my league it’s laughable – when those relationships comes to an end, it breaks me. Not for long, but it’s difficult to not take it personally. However when it comes to approaching women at say a bar cold, and you bowl over there feeling good, with the right attitude and posture, and they say no! It’s ok. It’s not personal. They may be busy, dealing with something themselves, be in a relationship, having a bad day at work, etc.. There’s a gazillion reasons why a woman may say no. All gazillion of those reasons may have nothing to do with you at all. It’s just bad timing. But as long as you’re polite and charming, you’re rarely going to get a rude response. All you’ll get is a no. And that’s ok, because you’ll live. You’ve heard plenty of NOs in your life. I’m sure even Brad Pitt has gotten some NO’s. Apparently Leo DiCaprio did hundreds of auditions before he got his first job. But if you’re the type of person that’s scared to hear that word, then you definitely don’t deserve to get the girl’s number. Which brings me swiftly on to my next point:
Dating Is A Numbers Game – Even if you have got it down, it doesn’t mean you’re going to have a 100% success rate. In fact in the dating world, I’ve told all of my clients that if you get to 50/50 you’re in the top 1%. Because that’s a pretty good batting average to have in this game. The fact is dating like sales is a contact sport, meaning the more people you contact, the better your chances.
Perceptive – I’ve always been super perceptive. Even as a kid I would see things that most people didn’t. But when it comes to women, I noticed that like all communication, being observant really paid dividends. And as much as I hate teaching chat up lines or treating all women like they’re the same (cos they’re not, we are all unique), using the phrase, ‘I noticed ….’ worked wonders. Just those 2 words would let them know that I paid attention and they generally felt very flattered. Like in my above story, I made a point of saying ‘I noticed you guys are doing shots, blah blah blah‘…All it said to her was I was paying attention. And whilst I didn’t say anything, I did notice her watch and handbag brand. I did notice she wore her watch on her right hand and took her shots with her left (indicating to me she was a leftie). I noticed it all…. Paying attention pays dividends and you can take that to the bank!
Take Action – Staring gets you nowhere – You have to just take a leap of faith but if you do all of the above, I promise you, it doesn’t matter how it goes, you’ll feel good no matter what. This blog post isn’t about picking up more women, no! It’s about getting over any internal issues you have so you’re indifferent either way. I get numbers from women all the time, I put myself out there, that’s why. But I also get a heap of rejections. And whilst the yes’s make me even happier, the no’s do too. As strange as that sounds it’s true.
Get Help – Don’t think for a second because you’re born or programmed to respond a certain way, it has to be like that forever. If you’re unable to make those internal changes yourself, get some help. Whether it’s from me, or a therapist, or a confidence coach or a meditation class – get the right help to push you in the right direction. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak, it makes you smart and strong! I’m constantly evolving. Each day that goes by, I upgrade myself and improve myself. I’m always learning. And you should too!
So How Did It Go With The Girl
Well, we chatted for a few days back and forth, but very quickly, just from my Instagram account she realised I was married. And she shut it down. I’ve convinced plenty of women to cheat with me, but I made a cardinal error by not saying I was married from the get go. And in her eyes, I was both a liar and an adulterer. Two traits she didn’t want to see in a guy. And that’s ok, because I’m out again next week and I’ll undoubtedly get another number.
Planning a sneaky getaway with your other woman? City breaks are always the best way to go, even if it’s for a solo vacation. New York is without doubt the best of the bunch. The Big Apple might be expensive, but you get what you pay for. With stunning views of this legendary cityscape, not to mention some of the best restaurants and bars in the western hemisphere, you’re spoiled for choice.
Best Hotels in New York to Have Sex
Thinking about earmarking New York for your next getaway? We’ve put together a list of our favorite hotels for affairs, with options to suit every budget.
Mandarin Oriental, New York
If you’re catering to refined tastes, the Mandarin Oriental, New York is the perfect place to set up shop during a weekend away. This is one of the Big Apple’s finest hotels. In fact, it’s the only hotel in NYC to be awarded a five-star review by Forbes. Luxury is the order of the day here. Even most of the rooms are sprawling compared to other accommodations in the city. Meanwhile, there’s a renowned VIP spa suite and plenty of in-room treatment options to ensure your stay goes off with a bang. Treat your other woman to a stay here and you can all but guarantee great sex.
Room Details
If it’s luxury you’re after, Mandarin Oriental will deliver. This premium caters to everyone from business travelers to couples looking for the perfect place to be down for a weekend away. Although some rooms boast better views than others, just about any bedroom in this sprawling hotel delivers the goods when it comes to Central Park vistas and waterside views of the Hudson River.
The good news is that Mandarin Oriental, New York isn’t as expensive as you’d think. A double room offering views over the Hudson River can be picked up for as little as $745 per night. As well as a large double bed, you’ll enjoy access to a separate seating area and a fully appointed bathroom. Furthermore, floor-to-ceiling windows ensure you get the best possible views of the Big Apple.
Want a Central Park view? Expect to pay a little bit more for the privilege. Starting rates for rooms with Central Park aspects are $845 per night. However, this is more than worth it for one of the best views in the city. A large double bed comes as standard, while a bathroom with a separate shower is also included. There’s also some impressive tech on offer here, with a 55-inch LED television and top-of-the-line audio speakers included.
Thinking about upgrading to a suite? You have a couple of options here. You can pick up a suite with a Hudson River view for as little as $1,995 per night. As well as a King bed, you’ll benefit from a living room and powder room. What’s more, suite bathrooms are more spacious than what you’ll find in a typical room, with dual sink fixtures and added amenities. If you’re happy to spend a little bit more on a suite, go with a room with a Central Park view. Rates start at around $2,295 per night.
Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences
Mandarin Oriental, New York won’t let you down if you’re after spa and wellness facilities. The on-site spa includes six separate treatment rooms, with a full pampering menu for you to consider. A five-star experience is guaranteed here, with designer decor and deep tubs throughout. There’s also a VIP Spa Suite for those who want a more memorable experience. For an extra special weekend of sex, think about reserving access to this exclusive suite. You’ll benefit from a private fireplace, your own steam room, and a personal shower.
If you’re looking for dining experiences, book a table at MO Lounge. This on-site establishment offers a full menu of American cuisine throughout the day. What’s more, you’ll find an impressive selection of cocktails to choose from. With unbeatable views of the inspiring NYC skyline, there’s no better place to enjoy a nightcap when you’re taking a break from the bedroom.
Room Service and Extras
If your main goal is to get your end away when staying overnight in New York, in-room dining is a must. Thankfully, Mandarin Oriental delivers first-rate dining experiences, even if you don’t feel like leaving your room. You can opt for an in-room breakfast if you order before 11.30 am, while lunch and dinner are available from noon until 11 pm. Overnight room service is also available, catering to out-of-hours requests.
Location
When you stay at Mandarin Oriental, New York, you’re within close proximity to some of the Big Apple’s most popular landmarks and attractions. The Broadway Theater District is just a couple of minutes away, while Central Park lies right next door. This hotel is also situated in the heart of Columbus Circle, one of New York’s premier shopping districts.
Crosby Street Hotel
The Crosby Street Hotel has been around for little more than a decade. However, it has quickly secured a reputation for itself. This hotel is definitely luxurious, but you won’t find yourself paying over the odds for a single night or weekend stay here. The rooms aren’t the largest in the city, but the beds are certainly big enough to play host to all manner of nocturnal activity. What’s more, this hotel boasts a secluded terrace. Perfect if you’re looking to take a breather from sex, but don’t want to stray into the crowded streets of NYC.
Room Details
The Crosby is a pretty small hotel, so don’t expect a huge number of rooms available at any one time. However, there’s a good variety here. A Superior King Room is a good choice if you’re on a budget. You’ll get a King bed, plus all the amenities you’d expect from a premium hotel, including a walk-in shower and freestanding tub. Minibars, WiFi access, and complimentary toiletries all come as standard. Room rates vary, but you should be able to secure an overnight stay for around $1,100 if you’re chasing a last-minute booking. To save money, it’s best to check your schedule and free up a few days away from home. You can make a neat saving if you book 2-3 days in a row.
If you’re after luxury, upgrade to a suite. A standard Crosby Suite offers you more square footage, as well as a larger bed so you can get up to more antics. Although you’ll benefit from premium extras, a suite will set you back at least twice the amount of a standard room. Again, timing is everything if you want to secure the best price.
Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences
There aren’t any spa facilities on offer at this hotel. However, guests can enjoy 24-hour access to an on-site gym and fitness center. What really sets this hotel apart from other boutique destinations in the city is its private lounge and drawing room. Provided you’re not a local who runs the risk of bumping into a friend or acquaintance, these romantic spots are perfect for kicking back and unwinding in at the end of a long day.
This hotel also boasts its own cinema room. Every Sunday evening, The Crosby Hotel plays host to a private film screening. If you’re looking to save on extras during your trip to New York, here’s one way to make a saving.
The Crosby Hotel can’t compete with larger establishments when it comes to fine dining. However, there is an on-site restaurant that should more than cater to your appetites. There’s also a hotel bar for nightcaps, as well as an excellent breakfast and brunch menu.
Room Service and Extras
If you’re only in town for a brief spell, you probably won’t want to leave your room for extended periods. The good news is that The Crosby Hotel offers a great room service menu. Room service is 24 hours, meaning you don’t have to play to anyone else’s schedule when enjoying a weekend of sex. What’s more, each room comes equipped with a fully stocked mini-bar to save you trips downstairs or to the terrace.
Location
If you’re staying in Manhattan, there’s no such thing as a bad location. That being said, The Crosby Hotel is located in a particularly lively spot in the SoHo area of the city. There are tons of restaurants and bars within walking distance, while the Museum of Modern Art Design is located right next door. Want to get out and explore? Spring Street station is just a block away, providing easy access to the rest of Manhattan and Long Island.
The Bowery Hotel
If you want to rub shoulders with the stars while enjoying a sex-filled weekend away, The Bowery Hotel is the place to be. As with any NYC hotel, this is an expensive destination, but it’s more affordable than you’d think. Rooms are fairly simple, but you’ll find everything you need for a steamy weekend. There are also plenty of on-site amenities, with a trendy bar and lounge providing the perfect spot to escape to if you need to catch a breath.
Room Details
Thinking about a stay at The Bowery Hotel? There are a ton of room options to choose from. However, if you’re planning a night or two beneath the sheets, a standard Queen room isn’t going to cut out. For maximum comfort, choose a Bowery King. As well as a King bed, you’ll benefit from a marble bathroom, complete with a rainfall shower. These rooms are also fairly large, with a standard King providing you with 250 square feet. If you want more square footage, go for a Superior King. A single night in one of these rooms will set you back around $785. For $30 more, upgrade to a Deluxe King. These rooms are even larger, with the added luxury of a deep soaking tub.
If you need a little more room, think about upgrading to a Studio Suite. These loft-style rooms are kitted out with King beds and separate seating areas. Perfect for longer stays, these suites are the way to go if you’re the kind of couple who like to experiment. A single night is going to be pretty expensive if you’re going the suite route. However, you can make a considerable savings by booking a couple of months in advance.
Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences
The Bowery isn’t the largest hotel. As such, there’s no on-site spa to speak of. However, you can take advantage of a range of in-room spa treatments. Need a massage? Simply speak to the front desk to arrange a pampering session that won’t cost a fortune. If you’re staying for longer than a couple of days, you can also arrange personal trainers and other premium extras.
The Bowery Hotel also has an on-site restaurant, Gemma. This Italian establishment offers a traditional trattoria menu, with experienced chefs serving up seasonal cuisine throughout the year. As this restaurant is open to the public, you’ll probably need to make a reservation, even if you’re staying during the week. If you’re simply looking for a quick drink, The Bowery Lobby will cater to your needs. There’s a huge range of cocktails to sample here, and the wine list is also impressive.
Room Service and Extras
Not in the mood for a sit-down dinner? Not to worry. The Bowery Hotel offers guests room service, whatever the time of day. The 24-hour room service menu is surprisingly extensive, meaning you don’t have to compromise if you don’t feel like budging from bed. However, don’t expect any major price difference when you compare in-room dining to the restaurant menu.
Location
The Bowery Hotel is part of Manhattan’s Lower East Side. If you’re looking to escape to the hustle and bustle of the downtown district, this is the perfect place to stay. Several subway stations are within walking distance of the hotel lobby, providing quick and easy connections to the rest of the city. However, you’ll also find several points of interest within walking distance. Hudson Square is just a few minutes to the west, while Little Italy is also nearby.
The Ned NoMad
It’s strange to call a hotel sexy, but The Ned NoMad is exactly that. With its Parisian-inspired interiors and luxurious finishing touches, no other hotel is going to put in the mood quite like this one. With more than 160 guest rooms, you shouldn’t struggle to secure a stay at this premium destination. The Ned NoMad also caters to all budgets. If you’re on a budget, there are basic room options that won’t break the bank. However, luxurious suites are also on hand for big spenders looking to go all out to impress.
Room Details
With 167 bedrooms to choose from, there’s no shortage of accommodation options at The Ned NoMad. So-called Cosy Rooms are great if you’re flying solo, but if you’re heading to New York for a weekend of sex, it’s best to upgrade to a Large Room. With open-plan layouts, King beds, and a separate seating area, you’ve all the amenities you need for a dirty weekend away. Large rooms aren’t exactly cheap at $1,200 per night, but you get a lot for your money.
If you’re after a bit more breathing room, think about upgrading to an Atrium Studio. These are as close as you’ll get to a suite at The Ned NoMad. In addition to a large bedroom area with plentiful seating, there’s a separate bathroom, shower room, and water closet. Prices are fairly reasonable, with starting rates of $1,247 per night. Every room type in this hotel also boasts an Emperor mattress, produced by leading manufacturers Hypnos. These mattresses are great for sleeping, but they hold up pretty well when it comes to more energetic bedroom activities.
Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences
Currently, The Ned doesn’t offer much in the way of spa facilities. However, in-room services can be arranged if you speak to the front desk. The good news is that The Ned doesn’t skimp on dining options and nighttime entertainment. Paying guests can enjoy access to the on-site restaurant, The Dining Room. There’s also the Little Ned cocktail bar for late-night drinks. Looking for live entertainment? The Magic Room can be found on-site and is often considered one of New York’s best-kept secrets.
Room Service and Extras
Although The Ned offers multiple on-site dining options, not everyone who stays here wants to get dressed and head down for dinner. Fortunately, this premium hotel provides an impressive room service menu. You won’t always be able to access full restaurant menus, but you will get access to a first-rate pick of light bites and late-night meals.
Location
The Ned is located within the Johnston Building, an iconic landmark in Manhattan. Public transport connections are plentiful in this part of New York. However, you’ll also find plenty of first-rate attractions right on your doorstep. The Empire State Building is just a couple of minutes away from the hotel, while the trendy Chelsea district is also nearby.
Final Thoughts
The last thing you want to worry about when enjoying a weekend of sex with your other woman is whether you’re going to get caught out. Thankfully, it’s easy to get lost in the Big Apple. If you want to be right in the heart of it all, Manhattan hotels are the way to go. A standard double isn’t going to be cheap in this part of the world, but book a stay in a highrise venue and you’ll be rewarded with incredible views.
In New York, there are thousands of potential hotels to choose from. However, to get the most out of your stay, spend a little more on a hotel that delivers. At a minimum, you’ll want a bed that’s big enough to keep you with you and your sexual escapades. Don’t plan on leaving the room during your stay? You’ll want to be staying somewhere that offers in-room dining or operates 24-hour room service. If you’re in town longer, a suite or studio room might be a good idea. These rooms can be fairly pricey, but if you book early enough, you can often bag one for the same rate as a standard double.
Since then, MILFs have become even more stunning. Ladies of lunch have been replaced by women going to the gym and ageing down through exercise, yoga and sometimes a little botox.
Personally, I’ve always been into older women. Even when I was single. There is always something so attractive about them, the maturity, the experience the ‘having gone around the block‘ that younger women just don’t have.
Dating Younger Guys Is Now Cool
What’s become so fascinating is whenever I read the entertainment section of various magazines, what was frowned upon years ago, has now become the norm. And that is older women stepping out with young guys. It’s almost like it’s sense of achievement older women have garnered. The most famous of course of them being Marcon and his wife. She used to be his teacher and now she’s married to him.
And just when I thought I was alone, the trend amongst many younger guys is to bag themselves or at least have an experience with an older woman. And I can tell you from firsthand experience, it’s the best. Of course I’m never going to not admit that having fun with younger 20 something year old hotties isn’t fun too, but once you’ve actually slept with them a couple of times, their inexperience in that department is super evident.
The Difference Between A Milf And A Cougar
Now I could be entirely wrong here, but from my own adventures with both, cougars revel in the attention and often go out of their way to land guys younger than them. Whilst MILFs are just very attractive mums that don’t seek out relationships or the attention. Cougars are a bit like me, they go through relationships faster than you can imagine, validating their good lucks by dating different guys.
Cougars are substantially easier to pickup too. They’re out at night, partying with the youngsters, acting like they’re teenagers again, wearing very suggestive clothing and actively looking to get hit on. With the right Cougar if there’s an attraction, you can buy them a drink and before you know it you’re in the cab on the way back to theirs. You’ll catch them at lady’s night of most clubs and they very sexually liberated. They’re less into the talking and more interested in the sex only. And for the most part, Cougars factor your age into everything. For them to feel validated, they prefer guys substantially younger than them – the younger the guy the greater the achievement. So if you’re a young guy, looking to pick up older women, Cougars are 100% the way to go.
Cougars are very proud of being cougars, they bask in knowing that younger men want to sleep with them. And the ones I’ve slept with are generally divorced. They’re also experts in getting married guys to chase them.
MILFs on the other hand are quite the opposite. They’re more often shy, and even if they’re drop dead attractive, they still somehow convince themselves that they’re really not. They’re not into chasing or being chased by guys and most of them are so into their families that to convince them to have a relationship let alone an affair is so far out of the realm of possibility for them.
A Cougar is proud of her age, a MILF is conscious of her age.
You’ll never catch a MILF out in a club (rarely), let alone on dating sites or dating apps. They’re not at all susceptible to flirting and cheesy pickup lines have no effect on them. MILFs have huge emotional maturity and will always pick hanging out with their kids than hanging out with friends. When a young men try and hit on MILFs – they tend not to get very far, and MILFs (unlike cougars) – will laugh it off and say things like ‘oh you’re sweet‘ or the classic ‘I’m old enough to be your mother‘.
Whilst older women can be hot as hell, many of them looking dramatically younger than they really are, they tend to either fall into either the MILF camp or the cougar camp. And given guys like me love the chase, want that emotional attachment as well as the physical, MILFs are a far better choice.
Where To Find These MILFs
So where do you find these MILFs if they’re not hitting the town at night or doing the whole online dating thing. Well of course they go out, but you’re hardly going to be able to pick them up on a mum’s night out. Just imagine how quickly that would get back to her husband, her chatting to you. No, you have to be smarter than that:
School Gates – if you’re a married man like me, with young kids, chances are you’ll always meet MILFs during the school drop offs or school pickups. It’s a non threatening environment, and whilst you may not be able to approach some of these attractive mums randomly, the school is the perfect place. Because the one thing you’ll have in common is that your kids attend the same place. It’s easy to start a conversation be it about the kids, the school or even having a little bitch about either the teachers or some of the more weird parents. In fact that last MILF I had a fling with, this is exactly where I met her. We saw each other twice a day for months to the point that it was normal to speak as much as we did.
In the park walking the dog – I live in a part of the world where I’m next to several parks. And every day I see older, attractive women out there walking their dogs. In fact they’re so regimented about their timings that you can almost bank your watch on it. So if you don’t happen to have a dog, borrow one. If you can’t, be sure to be exercising around the same time everyday so that you become a familiar face. Easier to say hi and strike up a conversation from there.
The gym – after dropping of the kids, a heck of a lot of MILFs head to the gym. They’re more conscious about their weight and pyshcique than they ever have been and so many have become so disciplined they look better now than they did before having kids. I did discuss this in a post on how to pick up married women at the gym because for me, I’ve had THE MOST success in this area.
Supermarkets – you tend to see a lot of MILFs doing their weekly or daily shop at the same supermarket. Now whilst I’ve never tried or had success hitting on women in the supermarket (only because I find it’s a bit too intrusive) I’ve heard of plenty of success stories from men that have had huge success here. They’ve found that women seem to be less guarded, easier to get eye contact and strike up a conversation. I live in hope that this happens for me one day.
Work – lots of women work. And many of them are married with kids. The fact that they work in an office tends to mean that they’re very well dressed and pay huge attention to looking on point. Having an affair with a co-worker is so common. If you think about how much time you spend at work it’s not abnormal to become very attached to people in your office. Some of my best flings have derived from some of the women I’ve met at work.
That’s just to name a few, but there’s always shopping malls, health food shops, the beach, the car wash, etc, etc, etc…
Things To Appreciate About Older Women (especially if they’re married).
What I love about MILFs is that they don’t always know they’re hot. It’s rare that their husband tells them they are, and the truth is, if you’ve been married for a while there’s a strong chance that life and kids and everything else has taken front and centre.
It’s rare for them to feel sexy or to even get a meaningful conversation with their significant other because everyone’s always rushing around, working or exhausted. They don’t get to spend as much alone time with their partners as they used to and visits to the local bar are very infrequent.
In fact, like for so many people out there, life has become monotonous. It’s got a routine. And whilst a MILF may walk the dog and do school runs and the shopping and maybe even go to work – there’s still something that’s very routine about it. Having kids will force a routine into your life because it’s exactly what they need.
My System On Picking Up MILFs
Before I share my system, let me just say this is unique to me. You’re more than welcome to copy me if you think you can pull it off. In writing this piece, I did a cursory glance around the internet and as usual found one article with tips (which were too general and too generic) – and then a whole bunch of other articles that simply re-wrote and reworded the same article. To be really honest, when I read every other article on internet about how to date MILFs, I found that they just had been written from a place of theory. It struck me that most if not all of the authors and no real world experience in the real world on how to pick up hotter, older, attractive women.
My advice to you is follow my structure a bit, but stick to your strengths. So if you’re funny, be funny, if you’re handsome, play on that, if you’re sporty, play on that, etc, etc, etc..
My Approach – AIDA
I pick up women the same way I do deals in business, by following the simple steps of AIDA. Attention, interest, decision, action.
It’s hard to get someone to jump into the sack with you if you can’t get their attention, then garner their interest, then lead them into making a decision (eg having a drink – dinner) with you and them taking action (going all the way).
How To Pickup MILFs – My System
It’s my nature to chat to anyone. I’m a chatty person. I could strike up a conversation with a tree if I had to, and boy oh boy, after a few drinks you’d be hard pressed to shut me up. I also happen to think I’m pretty funny. I pride myself on making people laugh. And it doesn’t hurt that I’m uber perscitpive. Like frighteningly perceptive.
So I take these 3 qualities and I put them to good use.
Attention
So here’s what I do, I make sure I chat to someone who is used to seeing me daily. If it’s a MILF I’m after, I stick to the school gate or the gym. It’s where I have had my biggest luck.
I start by making sure I get their attention. Whether it’s a smile, a hello or small talk. And every day I see them, I make sure I’m consistent. Part of my process is to go from being a random guy to a familiar face. In the early days whatever I do, I don’t rush in and have these huge chats or get them laughing – NO SIR. All I do is make sure I just being familiar.
Interest – Flattery
Backhanded compliments get you everywhere. Remember married women don’t get hit on that much and chances are their own husbands will rarely compliment them. Making them feel attractive is going to get you very far. And so for me, I love using flattery, but not outright compliments but slight ones. For example I took my kids to football practice the other day. There’s this one Pervy horrendous dad always diving in to talk to the mums. Well he actually focuses on the nannies but sometimes he talks to the mums. So I met this one mum there that I was totally besotted with. She would see me every Saturday and like I mentioned above, I’d always make a point of saying hello and smiling at her. After a few Saturdays, I was no longer some random person.
Somehow we got into a conversation and I pointed out this creepy guy to her. I made some jokes about him, she laughed. Then I turned to her and asked her if he had started to hit on her yet. She quizzically looked at me and shook her head.
I then said:
“I’m really surprised, he always hits on all the hot women”
And there it was, I called her hot without quite saying I find you hot. I noticed her blushing ever so slightly and the second she did, I asked which coffee she wanted from the coffee cart.
From then on every Saturday it went from chit chat, to both of us looking forward to seeing each other, to her saving me a chair next to her and waiting for me. All this in just a few weeks. I always paid her compliments on her shoes or her clothes, or the type of mother she was, but again, not always overt.
Then, the next step in my process is to talk outside of seeing each other. And that means Instagram. I’d always make sure they’d give me their Instagram handle and I’d get them to follow me back whilst I was there.
Each day I’d post or reshare other people’s stories and check to see if they were watching. Instagram allows you to see who sees your stories and for me that was a further sign they were interested. I may forward them something of interest to them and see if they respond, etc..
All of these are signs that there’s some level of interest. It may not be romantic yet, but I’ve come a long way from being a random guy.
I know all this sounds crazy. But once there’s a certain level of familiarity and trust there, I start with this confession. I explain that I love the attention, how I love my family, but I need that bit extra outside of my marriage. I tell her that I’d never leave my wife, but whilst my kids are young it’s only fair they get most of her attention.
Interestingly, what typically happens is a few things:
Now a few things can happen here. Firstly they become completely shocked and almost turn religious on me and try and fix me. They’ll advise I need counselling or therapy. They live in this idealistic world of what marriage should be and try and impose that on me. If this happens, I know nothing will ever happen for a while with them and me. It can later by the odds are hugely diminished.
OR
Fascination takes over:
They become TOTALLY curious: Chances are they are so fascinated and ask me so many questions like, why, how, where and how do I get away with it, etc…
Fascinated: They want to here all the stories of the women, the escapades, what I say, how I do it – they want to almost live vicariously through my stories.
Younger Women: Even through it’s not true, I want them to feel relaxed around me and so I make a point of saying that I only date younger women, single women.
I then amp up the communication on Instagram – every now and then I may send them a good morning message, or a good night message – I get to the point where I send daily messages and so that they’re now used to it. It’s become normal to communicate with me normally. I may even send them profiles of younger looking women and asking them for advice on how to bag them… (all part of the plan).
After a bit of time, they’ve gone from not knowing me, to looking forward to our chats to almost expecting it. Without even realising it, I’ve become a daily part of their life.
At this point, they may even start telling me more about their life and sharing their problems with me. I become their shoulder, their confidant, someone they’ll run ideas past. At this point we’re micro cheating and almost verging on having an emotional affair.
Action – Time To Make A Move
What happens next is, unless I take action, push for a drink or dinner, I will stay in this no mans land or friend zone. I need a sign that she’s ready to take it forward a bit more.
It’s time to suggest dinner or food. Anything to get her out alone with you.
Remember, once you’re out for dinner or drinks at a discreet bar – it’s all about flirting.
The smiles, the gentle touches – the odd sexual innuendo. She’s only there because she’s fascinated, wants you to make a move and knows that you know how to have affairs discreetly and not get caught. She wants to be guided into this world by someone who’s successful in it.
Be observant and pay attention to the signs. She’s there for a reason. And if she’s lied to her husband about where she is then that’s an even bigger sign she wants you to make a move.
A young man will rarely have the patience to go after a MILF. If they like an older woman a Cougar is a far easier to close than a MILF. They have to wait less and given we live in an instant society, waiting weeks or months to bed a MILF may just be too hard. Especially when younger guys are used to dealing with young girls. Remember to learn what older women want in bed, and it’s not what you think.
There’s no easy way to pick up a MILF. It’s a process. And convincing someone to have an affair with you is going to take some time. It’s a matter of patience. Have faith in the knowledge that somethings really do take time. But believe you me, the relationship with a MILF is the best type of relationship you can have.
That said, there’s of course a risk. You don’t want to damage lives and you need to make sure both you and her are careful. You don’t want to get caught. It’s a balancing act.
I wish I told you I had an easy answer in how to pickup MILFs – but whenever I’ve rushed it in the past they’ve just shut down and seen me as sleazy. Play it cool, be cool, be kind, observant, flattering and genuine and it’ll happen.
Most women want attention and want to feel sexy, despite their age or what she’s wearing. Knowing and appreciating this will get you having relationships with women you never thought possible.
Planning a dirty weekend in the Windy City? Perhaps you’re a local looking to get away from home for a night of no-strings sex. There’s no shortage of premium hotels in Chicago, with five-star options aplenty. Ready to take your affair up a notch?
Best Hotels in Chicago to Have Sex
Don’t skimp when choosing a venue for your next meet. If you’ve freed up some time in your schedule for a solo vacation or a long-overdue dirty weekender, why not go the whole hog and treat yourself to a suite? Can you only get away for a single night? A compact hotel room in Downtown Chicago might save you a few dollars, but a cramped double bed isn’t going to cut it when it comes to getting down and dirty. Looking for the best hotels in Chicago to have an affair? We’ve got you covered.
The Langham
If you’re looking to enjoy a five-star stay, you can do a lot worse than The Langham. This premium hotel is all about luxury, offering some of the best rooms in the city, exceptional facilities, and some of the finest views of the iconic Chicago skyline. Make no mistake, this is an upmarket destination catered to guests with money to burn. However, if you’re prepared to spend a little extra, you’ll be well rewarded when checking in at The Langham.
Room Details
There are plenty of room options at The Langham. If you’re working with a limited budget, your best bet is to choose something from the Deluxe lineup of rooms. The most basic room option here is a Deluxe. Although these rooms are on the small side, they’re kitted out in stylish mid-century decor. What’s more, the ensuite bathrooms are out of this world. Rainfall showers and freestanding tubs come as standard, while double vanity units make these rooms ideal for couples. Although the most basic option at The Langham, a double room isn’t cheap. If you’re looking to make a last-minute booking, expect to pay in the region of $550 for an overnight stay.
If you want a slight upgrade, think about booking a Deluxe Premier room. You’ll benefit from a bit more square footage, but the main draw of these elevated rooms is the view. With floor-to-ceiling windows, you’ll be able to take a break from nocturnal activities and soak in the city lights. If you want a hotel room with a view of the Chicago River, expect to pay an average of $740 per night. All Deluxe rooms are equipped with full double beds, although some rooms also feature King size beds.
There’s also a good range of suites at The Langham. A Junior Suite is the most affordable option, although a single night will set you back around $1,055. Most of the other suites available at The Langham cater to larger groups, which isn’t really practical if it’s just the two of you. However, you’ll find one-bedroom suites offering stunning views of Lake Michigan. If you want to really indulge, an overnight stay in a suite like this will cost around $1,760 per night.
Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences
When it comes to spa facilities and amenities, The Langham does not disappoint. There’s an on-site sauna and health club, along with an indoor swimming pool and whirlpool. If you don’t feel like venturing too far from your bed, you can also take advantage of in-room spa treatments and massage services.
Looking for dining options? The Langham Hotel has a couple of dining establishments for you to take advantage of. The Travelle restaurant offers seasonal American cuisine throughout the week. Although you’ll find breakfast, brunch, lunch, and dinner all served here, menu availability varies depending on the day. What’s more, you’ll need to reserve a table if you want to sit down for dinner during the weekend.
For more laid-back dining, head to Pavillion. This trendy space operates on Saturdays and Sundays, offering up light bites and an afternoon tea service. If you’re booking a last-minute stay, you might not have time to reserve a table ahead of time. Thankfully, The Langham offers private dining experiences to guests with a healthier budget.
Room Service and Extras
If your schedule leaves little else for sex, you’re probably not going to be able to make it down for lunch or dinner during your stay. Thankfully, The Langham offers round-the-clock room service to paying guests. The 24-hour room service menu is surprisingly extensive, giving you access to premium eats and a pretty generous drinks selection. Naturally, this doesn’t come cheap, but it’s well worth paying a premium for the convenience.
Location
This skyscraper hotel enjoys a prime location. Situated at 330 North Wabash Avenue, The Langham lies within the New Eastside district of the Windy City. You’re just a short walk from city landmarks like Millenium Park, the American Writers Museum, and Willis Tower. Need to rely on public transport during your stay? You’ll find several “L” train stations within walking distance of the hotel lobby.
JW Marriott Chicago
Planning a stay in Chicago’s historic downtown district? The JW Marriot Chicago is the perfect place to call home during your trip to the city. This is one of the most popular hotels in the Windy City, and it’s not hard to see why. Aside from an excellent location, there’s a huge variety of room and suite options to choose from. What’s more, there are excellent spa facilities and in-house services to make your stay one you’ll remember for a long time to come.
Room Details
Thinking about paying a visit with your latest mistress? A great stay starts with the right room. Thankfully, there’s a range of affordable options for cheaters looking to camp out in style in Chicago. If you’re on a budget, a standard King room is your best bet. With high ceilings and plenty of square footage, they’re the perfect base of operations for a dirty weekend away.
Each room comes equipped with a King size bed that’s perfect for passionate nights under the sheets. Meanwhile, the ensuite bathroom facilities are excellent. Decked out in marble, each bathroom includes double vanity counters and an oversized bathtub, not to mention a separate shower. What’s a single night in a JW Marriott King going to set you back? Book early enough and you should be able to secure a room for as little as $540 per night.
Thinking about splashing out on a suite? A one-bedroom suite might be the way to go. The main perk of this room type is more square footage and a bigger bathroom. If you’re staying for more than a couple of nights, it might be worth forking out for the premium. However, if you’re looking to save a few bucks, an upgraded King room might be a better option. For as little as $665 per night, you’ll enjoy larger rooms, better views, and, most importantly, exclusive access to the JW Marriott Executive Lounge.
Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences
The best Chicago hotels don’t skimp when it comes to spa services. The JW Marriott Chicago is no different. There’s a huge menu of spa treatments and pampering services on offer here. You can schedule an in-room massage, with standards including deep tissue and CBD massage treatments. There are also some great value spa packages to take advantage of, granting you access to on-site facilities and five-star extras. This hotel also caters to couples, with a limited menu of couple experiences that are just the thing for getting warmed up for an evening of no-strings sex.
Looking for nearby dining venues? The JW Marriott Chicago has got you covered. Reviver is the place to be if you’re looking for late-night cocktails and small bites. There’s also an impressive lunch and dinner menu to delve into. The Lobby Lounge is another good option if you’re short on ideas and don’t want to stray too far from your room. This is a casual establishment, although the quality of the food won’t disappoint. If you’re looking for fine dining experiences, head to The Florentine. Located on the 2nd floor of the JW Marriott Chicago building, you’ll find a restaurant menu bursting with the best of authentic Italian cuisine.
Room Service and Extras
If your schedule is tight, you probably won’t have much time for restaurant reservations. Fortunately, the JW Marriott Chicago caters to guests who don’t fancy budging from their beds. This hotel offers an in-room dining menu that puts most room service offerings to shame. Although you’ll be able to enjoy far more variety than a typical room service menu, bear in mind that in-room dining isn’t offered at all hours of the day. Service starts at 6 am, with final orders accepted at 11 pm. However, if you’re staying for a couple of days or are a returning guest, you may have a little leeway.
Location
This five-star hotel doesn’t disappoint when it comes to location. It’s situated in the heart of Chicago’s iconic downtown district. There are countless restaurants, museums, and landmarks within walking distance. What’s more, there’s a bustling nightlife scene surrounding this hotel. If you’re driving into the city, you should be able to secure a parking spot nearby. However, there are excellent public transport links nearby to make your life easier.
The Ritz-Carlton
Looking for a central hotel to play host to a dirty weekend? The Ritz-Carlton is one of the best hotel choices in Chicago. Situated in the downtown district with superb views of Lake Michigan, this five-star destination remains popular with business travelers and pleasure-seekers alike. It’s not the cheapest hotel in the city, but if you’re looking for luxurious extras, incredible rooms, and unbeatable service, there are few better options.
Room Details
Every room option at The Ritz-Carlton screams luxury. You’ve got a choice between a Lake View or a City View room when staying at this Chicago hotel. Neither room option is particularly large, but you do benefit from spacious beds and floor-to-ceiling windows that deliver spectacular views of one of North America’s most legendary cities.
Both room types are also equipped with marble bathrooms. Expect all the amenities of a five-star stay here. One thing to keep in mind is that The Ritz-Carlton goes above and beyond when it comes to housekeeping. Expect at least two visits from the maid every day. If you plan on staying in a state of constant undress during your stay, make sure you’re using that do not disturb sign. Room rates vary slightly depending on the season, but don’t expect to spend anything less than $720 on a single night.
Thinking about a suite? The Ritz-Carlton has a few choice options. Take your stay up a notch and book a night or two at the Gold Coast Suite. Bigger beds, better views, and extended square footage come as standard here. There’s also a separate dining area, making it perfect for couples who don’t want to spend too much time outside of the bed. What’s the damage? A suite can easily set you back three times the rate of a standard room. However, if you’re thinking about spending a long spell in Chicago, don’t be afraid to ask about special rates.
Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences
This is a premier hotel establishment, so it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise to find a selection of spa facilities available. There’s a large pool for when you need to cool off after an afternoon under the sheets. Meanwhile, a fitness center and sauna are on hand when you need to unwind. In-room spa treatments can also be arranged, but it’s best to call ahead and plan your schedule with concierge services before checking in. You can book things like massages, body wraps, manicures, and more. There’s also an on-site steam room to discover.
If you can bear to tear yourself from the bed during your stay, you don’t have to go far for first-rate dining. The Ritz-Carlton has a couple of great on-site venues offering up delicious cuisine. There’s a rooftop steakhouse restaurant that should cater to carnivorous tastes. Meanwhile, The Cafe is the way to go if you’re looking for a caffeine pick-me-up or lighter dishes. Bear in mind, this hotel is in a really central spot. If the on-site restaurant menus aren’t whetting your appetites, you won’t have to stray far to find more exciting alternatives.
Room Service and Extras
The Ritz-Carlton has one of the best room service menus of any hotel in Chicago. Unlike standard room service lists that lack much in the way of choice, you’ll find a full list of in-room dining options here. If you can’t face getting dressed and heading down to a restaurant, simply dial the front desk and place your order. You can enjoy just about any of The Ritz-Carlton’s signature dishes. What’s more, there’s a full wine list to discover if you’re finding the mini-bar options a bit limited.
Location
The Ritz-Carlton can be found at Water Tower Place. If you’re new to the city, you’ll have no trouble finding this hotel and checking in. If you’re flying in, The Ritz-Carlton is just 10 miles from Midway Airport and a mere 16 miles from O’Hare International Airport. It’s also within walking distance of several Chicago L stations. Once you’re settled in, you’re in a prime location to get out and explore. Dozens of iconic attractions are just minutes away on foot.
The Gwen
Sometimes, it’s worth spending a little more on a hotel stay. Maybe you and your affair partner haven’t had the chance to get away from regular life yet. Perhaps you’re looking to sweeten the deal and secure a weekend filled with sex. Booking a stay at The Gwen is a surefire way of upping your sex game. Although it takes inspiration from the 1930s, this five-star hotel isn’t lacking in contemporary conveniences. Enjoy some of the best accommodations in the city, not to mention jaw-dropping views that will serve as a brilliant backdrop to a hot weekend.
Room Details
The Gwen offers a good selection of guest rooms and suites. You’ll pay a little more for a stay at this hotel, but that minor premium is more than worth it for five-star opulence. For a sex-filled weekend stay, a Superior King is the way to go. Each of these rooms is equipped with a spacious King size bed, not to mention a separate seating area. You’ll also have access to complimentary WiFi and all those basic extras you’d expect from any five-star hotel. The bathrooms are particularly well appointed, with marble interiors and large tubs that are perfect if you’re looking to move the action away from the bed. For a single-night stay, you’re looking at around $505. If you’re after a room with a view, expect to pay a little more than that.
Big spenders can also choose to upgrade to a suite. Unless your bank balance runs into seven figures, the Gwen Lux Suite is probably too expensive for your tastes. If you’re after something more affordable, consider a Superior King Suite. Expect all the same amenities as a Superior King room, with enhanced interiors and more square footage. A major selling point of these suites is that you get access to a private terrace. Perfect for taking a breather, these enclosed terraces are also great if you’re thinking about al fresco nighttime activity. Suite availability is limited, so you’ll need to book well in advance. What’s more, prices can vary wildly. For the best possible price, make sure you’re pointing in a reservation a couple of months before you plan to travel.
Spa Facilities and Premium Experiences
Although The Gwen doesn’t currently have an on-site spa, you can still enjoy premium spa experiences. The hotel currently offers something called the Luxury La Mer Experience. This budget-friendly extra means your other half can pamper themselves with a selection of premium spa products. If you’re looking for something more, speak to the front desk about arranging in-room treatments. However, because these treatments will need to be provided by third-party suppliers, expect to pay a premium.
Thinking about dining options? There are a few good choices at The Gwen. Upstairs at The Gwen is the place to be if you’re looking for rooftop dining and exceptional views. You’ll only find light bites and small plates here, but the drinks menu is second to none. For a more traditional dining experience, there’s Kostali by Naha. Here, you’ll find one of the best menus in Chicago.
Room Service and Extras
As with any good hotel, The Gwen provides guests with a room service option. However, the menu offerings here are fairly limited compared to other hotels we’ve talked about. If you’re only looking for the occasional dish to recharge your batteries in between sex sessions, you shouldn’t be disappointed. However, if you’re after something more substantial, it might be worth forcing yourself into a change of clothes and heading to one of the on-site dining venues. For reference, room service is available from 7 am, right up until 11 pm every evening.
Location
The Gwen is located within the McGraw-Hill Building. This historic complex is situated in the Windy City’s commercial district, meaning you’re in a prime location to get out and explore. If you want to head out for dinner, you’ll find dozens of restaurants and bistros within walking distance. What’s more, the river is right on your doorstep. If you’re driving into town, finding this hotel is easy, while parking can be arranged in advance. If you’re depending on public transport, you’ll benefit from convenient L train connections to points of interest across the city.
Final Thoughts
Keeping an affair under wraps is hard work. Even if you’re managing to keep your other woman a secret, nothing beats getting away from it all and escaping to a five-star hotel. If you’re looking for US destinations, Chicago is an obvious choice. It’s right up there with NYC and, generally speaking, hotel accommodation is far more affordable.
Even if you’ve left it to the last minute, you won’t struggle to find great rates on Chicago hotel rooms. If you can only get away for a single night, a deluxe double shouldn’t set you back much more than $500. If you’re staying for longer and want to get the best return on your investment, it’s always worth shelling out a little more for a suite.
Before you hand over your credit card details, think about what you’ve got planned. Without having to constantly look over your shoulder, you and your other woman can get out and explore. If you’re looking for evening entertainment, make sure you’re checking into a central location with great transport connections. If sex is the only thing you’re thinking about, make sure you’re staying somewhere with excellent on-site amenities and round-the-clock room service.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last 10 years, you’ve probably heard of the app Tinder. It is one of the most popular dating apps in history and has completely revolutionised the way people meet each other. If you have been living under a rock, let me tell you a little about Tinder.
What is Tinder?
Tinder is a dating app that allows users to find potential matches based on their location. It uses GPS to show nearby users who are also using the app. Users can then swipe right if they are interested in the other user, or swipe left if they are not. If both users swipe right, then they are a match and can chat with each other.
How does Tinder work?
Tinder is very simple to use. First, you need to download the app and create an account. Then, you will be asked to provide some basic information about yourself, such as your name, age, and location. After that, you will be able to see potential matches near you. Swipe right if you are interested in the other person, or swipe left if you are not. If both users swipe right, then they are a match and can chat with each other.
What are the benefits of using Tinder?
There are many benefits of using Tinder. First, it is a great way to meet new people. You can find potential matches based on your location, which makes it very convenient. Second, Tinder is a great way to start a conversation. It can be difficult to start a conversation with someone you don’t know, but Tinder makes it easy. All you have to do is start swiping. Third, Tinder is a great way to find love. Many people have found lasting relationships through Tinder. Finally, Tinder is a great way to have fun. Swiping can be addictive, and it’s a great way to pass the time.
How To Use Tinder If You’re Married And Have An Affair
I was always fascinated by Tinder. I mean what a cool, modern and easy to use app – or at least I was told. I was dying to get on it, but being married and knowing loads of people in general, it seemed like a recipe for disaster. A couple of my buddies used it with some success and whenever I was with them, I always enjoyed the whole swipe left and right feature.
Tinder was created after I’d got married and so not only could I not use it when I was single, but using it after I was married wasn’t going to happen. That said, a friend of mine brought to my attention, that there was an upgraded version of the app that would let me use the app without other people seeing my profile.
Wait, what now?
Enter Tinder Gold – What Is It?
Tinder Gold is a paid subscription service that gives you access to certain features that are not available to non-paying users. These features include:
Get the gold treatment.
We know you. You live in a world where every moment counts—where speed equals success, you’re always on the go, and you can’t let anything slow you down. Especially your Tinder feed.
That’s why we created Tinder Gold, a members-only service, offering our most exclusive features: Passport, Rewind, Unlimited Likes, five Super Likes per day, one Boost per month, and more profile controls—as well as our new Likes You feature, so that you can see who likes you before you swipe. Think of it as your personal Swipe Right concierge—available 24/7—bringing all of your pending matches to you. Now you can sit back, enjoy a fine cocktail, and browse through profiles at your leisure.
How Can I use Tinder Without My Wife Knowing
Along with the regular Tinder features the MOST IMPORTANT thing about Tinder Gold for a guy like me was the fact that your profile would only be shown to people you liked. There was a setting that allowed you to do that. It effectively would hide your own profile, until and as such as you liked someone else’s….How Cool!!!!
That effectively meant that unless you were drunk and blindly swiping away without even looking at the pictures, you were totally protected.
Now whilst of course Tinder didn’t market this as a feature for married people, there’s no doubt that one of the smart people on their team realised that by introducing this feature, it would open the floodgates to lots and lots of married guys just like me.
I couldn’t have been more excited. Every second I got I was swiping away but of course I realised something… Whilst this feature existed and kicked ass – this app was still mostly and heavily used by single people. And let’s be honest, the last thing that single gal wanted was to meet a married guy on an app like Tinder. There were plenty of other cheating apps and sites out there for them to do that on.
Die With The Lie
Now typically, and as I’ve said in past blogs, I was past lying about being married. In fact, I realised that admitting it early on usually meant there were no games and allowed for a smoother ride; everyone knew where they stood right off the bat.
But just by the very nature of this app, I was going to have to pretend to be single. I was going to have to pretend not to be married and I was going to have to pretend that I didn’t have 3 kids. And despite cheating for so long, it all felt a little strange to do that.
‘happily married, don’t want to upset anything at home – looking for a little excitement’.
But you just couldn’t do that on Tinder. You actually had to make something up. So I told the truth about what I did for work, I mentioned that I travelled a lot between London, Dubai, Miami and NYC – and whilst I wasn’t quite ready to settle down, I was looking for someone interesting to hang out with. I even used my real pictures, but a totally fake name. That said, here are 131 best bio on Tinder for men.
My Cover Story
The trouble with getting a match and starting a conversation meant that it involved a heck of a lot of back end work. I had to reactivate my fake Facebook profile from years ago. And I had to use a different burner phone, a new twitter handle – and setup an entirely new cover story.
It wasn’t easy, and truth be told was a lot of work. Of course once you got past the initial chat, and they had checked you out online, you of course would end up meeting.
I used to say that I’d come out of a crazy marriage to a psycho. She was completely nuts and I was just getting back out there. I played the sympathy card quite a bit – and to my surprise it did work. But it did inevitably open up a whole new can of worms, with the new Tinder Date asking loads about my ‘ex’. Some even going out of their way to give me sound advice on how to move on.
I’m sure there were plenty of other ways to do things and I tested a lot of them, but this one seemed to work the best for me.
Why Would A Married Man Have A Tinder Profile
With so many apps and sites out there, the question of why a married man would have a Tinder Account comes into question. Now given that I don’t speak for all men, I can only tell you why I did it. I cheat. Like a lot. And of course I have my own reasons, but for me it was total fascination. The app came out after I was married and plenty of people I know use it with great success. I had FOMO!
Stupid Features of Tinder Gold
There were some features that were counter intuitive on Tinder Gold – so for example hiding your profile and only showing it to people who you liked was amazing. However, the Super Boost was in complete contrast with that, and literally broadcast your profile for hours on end, without even being able to stop it. In fact I actually hated the Super Boost and sometimes found myself triggering it without realising and then praying that someone I knew wouldn’t come across my profile.
Is Tinder Gold Worth It
Old Data But Interesting
I found this article in the Guardian from back in 2015, which decided to quote a report from the GlobalWebIndex (GWI). To save you the trouble of going through the data, even back then, it was suggested that of those surveyed, 30% of Tinder Users were married, whilst 12% were in relationships. Of course Tinder hit back at these findings and refuted them whole heartedly but even now, in 2022, there’s no denying that Tinder has this magical draw not just on single people, but also married ones too.
The Results
I did end up meeting someone who was divorced. She was absolutely gorgeous, an Optician, with the most amazing fashion sense and legs up to her tits. A complete bombshell. She had completely bought into the story of my breakup and would often find herself giving me advice on how to cope with divorce and get past it.
She very quickly fit into the roster, however, I won’t lie – just keeping up with the lie, and juggling everything I’d told her about my ‘ex’ was mentally exhausting. There was just too much to remember.
After I met her and we really clicked and things got physical, I found myself in a rush to delete Tinder altogether. It was without doubt the best app I’d ever used in the dating world but the cover story, the lies, the fake social profiles – it was all too much.
I had been spoilt for too long being accepted by other women for being married, and whilst Tinder was incredible, almost addictive, the not being able to come clean about being married just meant there was too much on the back end that needed doing. There were far easier ways to cheat using other sites online without all the necessary dramas.
That said, as long as you’re careful and avoid the Super Boosts, it’s definitely worth a shot. Saying you’re married will just make you look like a creep so be sure to have your back story, social profiles and burner phone ready.
I’d love to sit here and act like I move from girlfriend to girlfriend without emotion. I really would. In fact, I wish I was like that. Sadly, I’m not built that way. It’s a major flaw in my personality, that sometimes, when I like someone a lot, I can fall for them. In fact, it turns me on when they fall for me too. And to make matters worse, I take the breakups very badly. It can take me months to get over.
When Affairs Turn To Love
Last year, I fell head over heels in love with the lady I was seeing. She was beautiful, kind and funny. She too had a great job and was an amazing mum. Everything about her was simply perfect. We’d talk for hours and every time we’d meet-up, just being near her was electric. We couldn’t get enough of each other. I thought it was just a crush to begin with, but when I noticed she had feelings back, it ended up leading to a full blown affair.
Now this particular lady had never had an affair before, which added to the excitement, and she’d constantly be asking me what was normal and what wasn’t in the affair world. I specifically remember her asking me
what happens when you start falling for someone…
Before she could even finish the sentence, I replied
I love you. I’m totally and completely in love with you.
Thankfully she said the same back, and we went on for a few months feeling like we were floating on cloud 9. Occasionally, she would ring me up crying as it was all getting a little too overwhelming. And of course sometimes if we didn’t get give each other enough attention we’d fight.
But as much as I loved her with every fibre of my body, I started to get scared. I realised that she was the type of woman I could leave my wife for – and she was thinking of leaving her husband. We both knew deep down it couldn’t happen, but it didn’t stop us wanting it.
This situation was not ideal. And the more we couldn’t do what we wanted to, the more it just lead to more and more arguments to the point that it broke us apart. We both said things that we couldn’t take back, and it ended in a way where we could never speak again. We blocked each other on WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook. There was no going back.
Once in a while, I’d look at her instagram from a dummy account, but all I felt was a combination of anger and hatred for her. When the truth is it wasn’t her I was angry at. It was the situation. And as much as her and I were good together – perhaps us actually being together, with children logistics and divorce cases, was just something that neither of us would ever want to go through. Her amazing personality and good looks didn’t help – and I’d keep asking myself if I’d ever meet someone as good again.
I lost a best friend and a girlfriend all in one go. And for the first time in my life, it made me realise why and how men would leave their wives for their lovers. Caught up in emotion, it’s easily done!
I always promised myself that I’d never put myself in a situation where I leave my wife and not see my 3 kids everyday. It would break all 4 of them, but mostly the kids.
Was I really that selfish?
I just never expected to find myself so deep in love! This was a first.
I still think about her almost everyday, and it’s taken every part of me to stop looking at her instagram stories, and keeping some sort of tabs on her. It just wasn’t and isn’t healthy.
Like I said at the beginning of this post, I’d love to sit here and act like I move from girlfriend to girlfriend without emotion. And most of the time that’s been the case. But this time it wasn’t and it’s jarred me. It’s been one of the most ecstatic and frightening experiences I’ve had to date.
When Affairs Turn Into Love – My Takeaway
And as you can probably tell, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. Perhaps an unhealthy amount of time reflecting. The truth is you can’t legislate your feelings. But I wish I had nipped it in the bud earlier, or I wish she had. We both got in too deep, and once we admitted we fell in love with each other, alarm bells should have been going off! And they didn’t and for that I’m angry at myself. I’m angry I lost control, I lost common sense and I lost some level of reality.
We had somehow fooled ourselves into thinking we could keep a lid on this, and continue together for years and years. But we couldn’t. And it broke us both. And right now, I’d do anything to hold her, hug her and kiss her again, anything. But what good would come of that? Nothing. Just more confusion, more pain and more hurt!
I don’t know how common it is for men who have affairs and fall in love with their affair partners. It’s not something I can ask people, and even if I could, we’re all a bunch of alpha males who wouldn’t admit it to each other. But the beauty about a blog like this is that I can admit it to you!
My Advice
My advice is such; if you find yourself in a similar position to myself, and you find yourself falling head over heels in love, believe you me – it’s better to pull the handbrake than to dive in! Take it from me, the pain and the arguments and the hurt, simply isn’t worth it!
As a keen poker player, I realise it’s hard to walk away from a winning hand – but it’s these types of errors that get people caught! Trust me. And this isn’t as clear cut as poker, my definition of winning hand is truly a losing hand.
Whilst some of us do what we do, it’s still and always will be family first, and no matter what, nothing or no-one will ever change that.
He talks about it all the time. I wouldn’t be surprised if he dreams about it. And whilst he doesn’t have affairs, I know for a fact he sees escorts quite regularly.
He’s on plenty of dating apps but doesn’t use them right and is generally terrible with technology. Consequently, he has this terrible habit of taking screenshots of the women he likes, with a view to messaging them later.
I do feel bad for him. He tries so hard, but he doesn’t really take good care of himself. My friend is overweight, dresses poorly and really has no game. What to him feels like flirty freaks most women out.
And whilst he doesn’t seem to realise he’s living the definition of insanity, whenever we meet for a drink, he’s always eager to show me the screenshots of the women he’s attempting to talk to.
Couldn’t Stop Laughing
However, the other day it all backfired on him. Even I found myself laughing to tears. His wife was helping their 6 year old with his homework and using the iPad was part of it.
Somehow they found themselves looking through the pictures. And lo and behold, she stumbled upon dozens and dozens of screenshots of these women on dating sites.
My friend was so bad at technology and couldn’t quite get his head around how the Apple ecosystem worked. And so every photo he took, every screenshot he took, was being synced to his sons’ iPad and their home computer.
As he told me what happened over some mojitos, I pissed myself laughing. I still do.
Just the thought of his son stumbling upon all these women, some topless……I can’t even finish this sentence because I’m laughing so much, suffice to say, that’s a new definition of education.
Imagine getting in trouble with your wife for screenshots of hot women, without actually being able to have an affair with any of them! A combination of hilarious and ironic.
They say it’s never the crime that gets people caught, it’s the cover up. But in the cheating game, it’s the cover-up that’s key. A large number of affairs are discovered by women, simply by going through their man’s phone. And there it is, tons of text messages and WhatsApps with full on detailed conversations that make for an interesting read.
How Cheaters Communicate
And knowing this from day 1, I’ve always been very careful to communicate with my affair partners with discretion. Below are a list of my 3 favourite apps to use, which are unlikely obvious choices. And remember, if you happen to use any of them, remember to switch off the notifications so they don’t show up on your phone’s Home Screen at inopportune times.
Telegram – whilst I do love all things geeky, Telegram is like WhatsApp on steroids. Sometimes you can get added to groups you don’t want to but it does mask your actual phone number, you can use an obscure screen name, and there’s no chance in hell your wife is going to even know what it is. The beauty about telegram is that if has a feature that auto deletes messages after a few seconds, leaving no trace.
KIK – I absolutely hate this app, but for sites like Ashley Madison (Discover Hidden Features: Ashley Madison Tricks Exposed) and Illicit Encounters, it seems to be the go to app. Similar to Telegram, you can mask your number and identity. However, it has the worst functionality and feels buggy. Almost like a broken version of WhatsApp.
I have a very active Instagram account, and for some reason, I love using DM. I’m on IG quite a lot, and am usually most responsive when chatting on DM. However, the downside is, you have to remember to manually delete the messages as well as ensuring the notifications are off. That coupled with the fact that your affair partner may be able to see too much about your personal life is something to keep in mind. They do have a habit of then asking a lot of questions about your wife. Best to avoid if possible.
Even though having an affair is exciting and it’s very easy to get caught up in the moment (believe me, I’ve been there), don’t let yourself get stupid. Be smart, discreet and leave no trace.
I’ve never been good at breakups. Ever. Even when I broke up with my first girlfriend at 17, I was a wreck. Firstly I got dumped!!
And at the time, so many things went through my mind. That overwhelming fear of rejection surrounded me and I was convinced I’d never meet anyone as good ever again.
I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach and I just couldn’t shake it!
I did everything to win her back. I sent her cards and flowers, I was even pathetic enough to record myself onto a cassette tape (remember those) and send it to her. Looking back, I cringe at my attempts…
It took me a long time to get over her. And in that dumping, I felt deflated. I felt that my confidence had been knocked so badly, I had even lost what little game I had back then completely. I had lost my ability to speak to other women, and I just kept comparing them to her.
It was all just so pathetic. I was pathetic.
But here’s what so strange. I never changed. Every breakup I went through, I felt exactly as I did above, but I had learnt to completely cut out the grovelling part. Effectively I just suffered in silence.
I was great at chasing women and making them feel special, but I was a terrible boyfriend. Once in the comfort of a relationship, I’d always be out with my friends, often speaking to and hooking up with other girls, but knowing I had the security blanket of a girlfriend.
And that meant I was the guy who got dumped quite a lot vs the guy who ended it.
I had even perfected the line, when people would ask me who ended it, I’d always say
it was a mutual decision.
I never had the strength to be the one to end it and I always just waited for it to end. And often, despite knowing the relationship wasn’t for me, I still took the breakups really badly.
The flings were easy to forget and the one night stands were even easier, but those darned relationships – I always struggled. Remember to check out our article on how to know when it’s time to breakup with someone.
Now if you’ve read some of my other posts, there’s no doubt I’m a playboy, a player, a womaniser – I’m not even going to be crass enough to tell you the number of the women I’ve slept with – but don’t think for a second it doesn’t come with its own emotional baggage. In my very first post I said:
Beyond all the texts, and butterflies, and sex – there’s an emotional toll. And you have to learn to deal with that, or it’s going to be obvious the second you get home!
Your wife will sense it, your kids will sense it – shoot, I’ve even seen guys come home and just confess their sins because they couldn’t live with the guilt.
This game isn’t for everyone, and it’s certainly no game! The stakes are high, the risk is high! And yes, for me the reward at the end of it is worth it, but I’ve developed the stomach for this!
And I meant every word of it.
However, I came to accept that that was how I was built and I would just get used to the pain, ride it out, have more one night stands and flings until the next great relationship came along.
And the meaningless sex between waiting for the next relationship was meant to take the hurt away – but for me, it never did!! As popeye said:
I Yam Who I Yam
Little did I know the pain of breaking up amplified ten fold after I got married.
About 6 months ago I got out of a relationship that had gotten too serious. Not only was I married but so was she.
She was funny, pretty, intelligent and had a great career. Everything about her was perfect. We both fell in love with each other. Both of us would carve out an hour a day just to chat over the phone and we’d be messaging each other non stop. I was verging on getting sloppy but I was so in love and so was she. And don’t even get me started on the sex. It was all so perfect.
In Too Deep
We’d both made the cardinal mistake in an affair, we fell for each other hard and fast! It had gotten so bad, that she had stopped being able to have orgasms when she was having sex with her husband (which strangely made me feel very happy).
Neither of us could imagine a life without each other and both of us had contemplated leaving our spouses for each other. But she knew the rules from day 1, I’d never leave my wife and more importantly my 3 kids for anyone. Not even for the love of my life.
Finally, after realising that this was only going to cause hurt and pain, she was the one who mustered up the strength and ended it. The only outcomes were bad and she knew this. I so desperately didn’t want it to end, and when it did, all those loving conversations turned into huge shouting matches to the point where we cut contact with each other.
And what happened when it ended? Pain all over again. Gut wrenching pain. But this time it was harder because I had to go home and play happy husband and father, as if none of this had ever happened.
Things were made even worse because she was hugely active on social media and so I kept watching all her videos thinking I couldn’t even speak to her. There wasn’t this out of sight out of mind policy. She was literally on my phone and I couldn’t stop looking. And every time I watched one of her videos, I would miss her more and then hate her for ending it.
In those 6 months since the breakup, I had several flings, several one night stands and yet until recently, all I could think about was her.
I’m Sorry
Now I want to apologise because I have kept the tone of this website generally upbeat, even funny at times. But my posts have been nothing but honest and as I always said on day 1 – I don’t glamourise cheating. I know it’s wrong. I’m not sitting here encouraging men to cheat.
No sir!
My mission has been to protect men from their families being hurt from our selfish behaviour. What they don’t find out will never hurt them.
So let me leave you with this.
Yes, cheating can be fun. It can put you on Cloud 9 and give you a confidence that you’ve never possessed before.
But when it ends, there’s truly a toll.
It almost alters your DNA and if you can’t manage your state properly, you’ll end up taking out your frustrations on your family – which will leave them confused and wondering where your bad mood is coming from! It may even get you busted or somehow make you think that confessing will make the pain go away. Which it won’t.
I occasionally watch my ex’s videos online of her out with friends or worse still her husband, but now I’m thankfully indifferent. It doesn’t both me at all. But it took me 6 whole months to get here.
Let me just tell you gents, that if you’re reading an article like this one, you’re probably looking to increase the number of matches you get, which will get you that one step closer to finding your next affair partner. Believe me, I get it. Ashley Madison is famous. I mean not just for getting hacked (you can read about the Ashley Madison Hack here), but for being the dating site that so braizantly provided a platform that facilitated having an affair.
As someone who is a serial cheater (so much so that the newspapers asked me to writer for them. My feature in the Sun and Metro here,) I’ve always been a little too obsessed with checking out sites that encourage affairs. At the top of that list is of course Ashley Madison. Years ago when I first started using it, it was head and shoulders about everyone else. Of course, now Adult Friend Finder is (by a long shot), but Ashley Madison used to really rock it. Now and then I still do use it.
In fact just last year I had an amazing (short-lived) affair with someone from the UK. She was going through a messy divorce and was looking for an outlet. Me, I was just looking for an outlet 😉 But with quite a lot of experience on AM, I thought writing an article about Ashley Madison Tips & Tricks seemed apt.
When I first Joined Ashley Madison
When I first joined, I thought it would be easy. Of course, what drew me to the site was how it pushed extramarital affairs, but beyond that, the thought of meeting link-minded women was simply hard to resist. But it was hard. It wasn’t as easy as I thought to get matches. I learnt as I went on. I didn’t get it straight it away. It took plenty of getting it wrong, learning the lingo and going out and failing before I started to discover my own set of tricks that worked for me.
It goes without saying, that in all dating websites, there’s an element of trial and error. And what of course may work for you, may not work or feel natural for someone else, but effectively, I started to discover tips that would work for me more often than not. And once I started to get more matches, it led to more conversations, more phone calls and even the occasional coffee and FINALLY, an affair!
Fast forward a few months and I had met my first Affair Partner. It was great! She was great! And we both wanted some extra excitement in our lives and didn’t want to wreck our home life.
The beauty of Ashley Madison was that it goes without saying. It goes without saying that never rocking the boat at home was paramount. As obvious as this sounds, with other apps like Tinder, you’d often meet single people, and then have to explain to them that you’re married and you’ll never leave your wife, etc, etc.. And even if you got past them not thinking you’re a complete sleaze for wanting to cheat on your wife, there was always a small part of me that would wonder if they’d show up to your house and ruin your life. Sound extreme? Trust me, it’s been known to happen. If Tinder happens to be your jam (risky as it is), there is a secret method to having affairs on there.
Want To Cheat, Need To Cheat
So, if you’re one of those daring Casanovas seeking more matches on this notorious website, you’ve come to the right place! Our article, “50 Ashley Madison Tips and Tricks,” will guide you through the treacherous yet tantalizing world of digital infidelity with humor, wit, and practical advice.
In this article, we’ll cover everything from crafting an irresistible profile that’ll have women swooning over your virtual persona to ensuring that your clandestine escapades remain on the down-low. After all, discretion is the name of the game on Ashley Madison (especially when you are cheating on your wife), and I’m here to provide you with top-notch tips to help you maintain your privacy while exploring new romantic opportunities.
As you delve into the depths of the platform, you’ll become well-versed in navigating its features, utilizing filters effectively, and making the most of the unique ‘Traveling Man’ feature. This feature allows you to connect with potential matches in other cities, making your business trips a tad more interesting. And if you’re worried about managing your digital tokens of affection, fear not! We’ll also give you the lowdown on understanding Ashley Madison’s credit system, and maybe how to get message without even having to pay.
Before I go ahead and share my 50 tips, I will say that writing this article, the landscape has changed a lot. People like me have gotten bored with their site, their UX and overall the number of choices on there. For me it seems to have lost its excitement and a large swath of its customer base. Times have moved on and there’s a plethora of new alternatives to Ashley Madison, with my most recommended being Adult Friend Finder. For me, this has been my go to site, but I have friends you have had huge success using many more.
So, buckle up gentleman and prepare to embark on a journey filled with excitement, intrigue, and maybe just a touch of danger. As you explore the world of Ashley Madison, always remember our golden rule: “Life is short, so make the most of these 50 tips and tricks!”
50 Ashley Madison Tips & Tricks From A Seasoned User
1) Choose an appealing and unique username
Your username is like the opening credits to the movie of your dating life on Ashley Madison. It sets the stage and creates intrigue, making it crucial to choose a memorable and distinctive one. Avoid clichés and overly suggestive names, which can make you come across as desperate or unoriginal. Instead, craft a username that reflects your personality, interests, or even your favorite TV shows and movies.
A witty and clever username can make potential matches chuckle and pique their curiosity. For example, if you’re a fan of “Game of Thrones” and enjoy hiking, you could opt for something like “MountainKingInTheNorth.” Or, if you’re a dog lover with a penchant for 90s sitcoms, consider “BarksAndRecreation.” These types of usernames not only showcase your interests but also exhibit a sense of humor.
Injecting a bit of wordplay into your username can be an excellent strategy. For instance, if you’re into photography, “LensAndChill” could be a fun spin on the popular phrase “Netflix and chill.” Alternatively, if you’re a fan of both “Star Wars” and cooking, you might try “DarthCulinary.”
When crafting your username, remember to keep it light-hearted and engaging. By making it a conversation starter, you’ll increase the likelihood of potential matches reaching out to you. Just think how much more memorable “JurassicParkourEnthusiast” would be compared to the all-too-common “JohnDoe123.”
2) Select a high-quality, captivating profile picture
Your profile picture is like the movie poster for the blockbuster film of your dating life on Ashley Madison. It should be eye-catching, enthralling, and leave potential matches wanting more. A high-quality, well-lit photo that showcases your best features is essential for making a lasting digital first impression.
Avoid the “Where’s Waldo?” effect by steering clear of group photos or images where your face is obscured. You don’t want potential matches squinting at your picture, trying to decipher which person you are, like they’re stuck in a scene from “Sherlock Holmes.” Make sure you’re the main attraction, front and center, in your profile picture.
Take inspiration from the famous “Mona Lisa” smile – it’s enigmatic, engaging, and keeps people guessing. A genuine smile can make you appear approachable and friendly, and as a bonus, it showcases your pearly whites. You don’t need to go full “Friends” Ross Geller with an overly bright smile, but a warm, inviting grin can go a long way in attracting connections.
When choosing your profile picture, think about what story you want to tell. Are you the adventurous Indiana Jones type, with photos from your latest escapades? Or do you prefer the suave James Bond vibe, posing in a sophisticated outfit? Whatever your style, let your personality shine through and captivate potential matches.
Don’t be afraid to get creative and think outside the box. Take a cue from classic sitcom “Seinfeld” and consider a photo with a quirky background, like Kramer’s infamous portrait – just remember to make sure your face is still the focal point.
3) Write an intriguing and witty bio
Your bio is like the opening monologue of your favorite late-night talk show – it sets the tone, showcases your personality, and gets potential matches interested in what you have to say. This is your opportunity to grab their attention, infuse your bio with humor, and leave them wanting more.
When crafting your bio, think of it as a mini-stand-up comedy routine. Keep it concise and engaging, peppered with amusing anecdotes or clever quips. Perhaps you’re a fan of “The Office” and want to mention how you’re seeking the Pam to your Jim on Ashley Madison. Or maybe you’re a die-hard “Star Wars” enthusiast looking for someone to explore galaxies far, far away with.
Mention your hobbies and interests in a creative way that showcases your unique personality. For instance, if you’re a foodie, you could say, “In search of a partner to help me on my quest to try every pizza joint in the city – must love pineapple as a topping!” Or if you’re a fitness enthusiast, you could write, “Looking for someone who can keep up with me on hikes and won’t mind me quoting ‘Rocky’ every time we conquer a new trail.”
Avoid negativity or excessive demands in your bio, as these can come across as off-putting and reminiscent of a villain in a Disney movie. Instead, focus on what you can offer and the kind of connection you’re seeking. This positive approach will make you seem approachable and more likely to attract like-minded matches.
Incorporating pop culture references can be a great conversation starter and showcase your shared interests. For example, you could say, “Seeking the Ron to my Hermione for a magical adventure,” or “Looking for a partner in crime to binge-watch ‘Breaking Bad’ with and debate the merits of Walter White’s decisions.”
4) Be honest about your intentions and relationship status
Honesty may be the best policy, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun and witty as well. When it comes to your intentions on Ashley Madison, think of yourself as the protagonist in a romantic comedy – you’re on a quest for love (or lust), and you want your potential matches to know exactly what you’re looking for.
Being transparent about your desires is like laying out the plot of your own personal rom-com. Clearly state whether you’re seeking a casual fling worthy of a “Friends with Benefits” storyline, an ongoing affair reminiscent of “The Affair,” or something else entirely – perhaps a “When Harry Met Sally” connection that defies expectations.
By injecting humor into your intentions, you’ll not only make your bio more engaging but also ensure that you attract compatible matches. For example, you could write, “Searching for my very own ‘Fifty Shades’ experience, but with more laughter and less brooding,” or “Ready to embark on a ‘Bridget Jones’-style adventure, minus the diary entries and blue soup mishaps.”
Don’t shy away from your relationship status either – embrace it with wit and honesty. If you’re married and looking for some excitement, you might say, “I’ve got my very own ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’ situation going on, and I’m looking for someone to spice things up.” Or if you’re single and seeking a unique connection, consider writing, “Navigating the dating world like a ‘Sex and the City’ character, but in search of my own unique story.”
5) Regularly update your profile with fresh information and photos
Think of your Ashley Madison profile as a long-running TV series – to keep your audience engaged, you’ll need to provide fresh content and new twists regularly. By updating your profile with new information and photos, you’ll keep potential matches intrigued and showcase your evolving interests and experiences.
Spice up your profile like a new season of your favorite show – add a plot twist with a recently discovered hobby or an exciting trip you’ve taken. For instance, if you’ve recently taken up salsa dancing, you could write, “Just started channeling my inner ‘Dirty Dancing’ moves on the salsa dance floor. Care to join me for a dance?” Or perhaps you’ve recently explored the culinary world and could mention, “Currently on a mission to master every dish from ‘Chef’s Table’ – any brave taste testers out there?”
Swapping out old photos for new ones is like releasing a fresh teaser trailer. It keeps your audience on their toes and showcases different aspects of your life. If you’ve recently attended a themed party, share a picture of your creative costume – it could be anything from a “Game of Thrones” ensemble to dressing up as your favorite “Avengers” character. Or if you’ve taken up a new sport, share an action shot that highlights your newfound passion.
6) Use a separate, dedicated email address for your account
Creating a dedicated email address for your Ashley Madison account is like assuming a secret identity in a superhero movie – it helps you maintain your privacy and keeps your online dating life separate from your everyday existence. This way, you can ensure better discretion and minimize the risk of an accidental “Spider-Man revealing his identity to the world” moment.
Consider this new email address your very own Batcave – a private, secluded space where you can manage your dating escapades without any unwanted intrusions. Much like Clark Kent’s glasses, this dedicated email address will act as a clever disguise, allowing you to keep your personal and professional correspondence separate from your dating adventures.
When creating your dedicated email address, have some fun with it – channel your inner “Men in Black” agent and create a name that’s both amusing and untraceable. For instance, if you’re a history buff, consider something like “AlexanderTheDiscreet” or “IncognitoNapoleon.”
7) Enable two-factor authentication for added security
In the world of online dating, protecting your privacy is as crucial as Agent 007 safeguarding classified information. By enabling two-factor authentication (2FA) for your Ashley Madison account, you’ll be adding an extra layer of security that even Q would approve of.
Think of 2FA as the top-secret password-protected briefcase in a spy movie – not only does it provide an extra level of protection, but it also makes you feel like you’re part of an elite team of undercover operatives. When you enable 2FA, you’ll be required to enter a verification code sent to your phone or email each time you log in, ensuring that only you can access your account.
Enabling 2FA is like equipping yourself with Batman’s utility belt – it’s a valuable tool that can help keep your online dating life safe from nefarious characters lurking in the shadows. Much like Tony Stark’s Iron Man suit, 2FA is a powerful defense mechanism that helps protect your privacy and maintain the integrity of your Ashley Madison account.
8) Be cautious when sharing location information
Navigating the world of online dating can sometimes feel like stepping into a thrilling spy thriller – filled with intrigue, adventure, and the need for discretion. When it comes to sharing location information on Ashley Madison, adopting the cautious mindset of a secret agent like Jason Bourne can be a wise approach.
Think of your location data as the top-secret headquarters in a blockbuster spy film – revealing too much too soon could put your mission at risk. Much like Ethan Hunt from “Mission: Impossible,” it’s essential to maintain your anonymity and be cautious when sharing your whereabouts with potential matches.
When discussing your favorite local spots or planning a meet-up, be as vague as the ending of “Inception.” Instead of giving away specific details, use broader terms to describe your location, like saying you live “near a popular park” or “just a few blocks from that famous landmark.” This way, you’ll maintain an air of mystery while still providing a general sense of your whereabouts.
9) Avoid oversharing personal details in your profile or early conversations
Navigating the world of online dating is like walking the fine line between Ross Geller’s “We were on a break!” and Chandler Bing’s “Could I BE any more vague?” Much like these iconic “Friends” characters, you’ll want to strike a balance between sharing enough information to be interesting and maintaining your privacy by not oversharing personal details.
Picture your profile and early conversations like a trailer for an upcoming movie – you want to give potential matches a taste of what’s to come without revealing all the juicy plot twists. Be mindful of the information you share, and keep in mind that even small details can inadvertently reveal your identity, much like a “How I Met Your Mother” clue that eventually leads to the mother’s unveiling.
Instead of divulging specifics about your occupation, try a more general approach – say you work “in the tech industry” or “in the world of finance.” This way, you’ll keep your potential matches intrigued without giving away your LinkedIn profile in a single sentence.
10) Consider using a VPN for additional privacy
Venturing into the realm of online dating can feel like embarking on a quest for the “One Ring” in “The Lord of the Rings” – a journey filled with adventure, unexpected twists, and the need for utmost discretion. When it comes to protecting your privacy on Ashley Madison, utilizing a VPN (Virtual Private Network) is like summoning the power of the “cloak of invisibility” from “Harry Potter.”
Much like the intrepid hobbits hiding from the ever-watchful Eye of Sauron, a VPN helps you maintain your anonymity online by masking your IP address and encrypting your internet connection. With a VPN, you’ll be as stealthy as a ninja in a “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” episode, ensuring that your online dating activities remain private and secure.
11) Familiarize yourself with Ashley Madison’s features and functions
Mastering the ins and outs of Ashley Madison is like learning the rules of Jumanji – it’s essential to unlocking the full potential of the game and ensuring you stay ahead of any surprises that come your way. By familiarizing yourself with the platform’s features and functions, you’ll be like Tony Stark in his Iron Man suit – a dating powerhouse equipped with the latest technology and capabilities.
Much like assembling a team of “Avengers,” Ashley Madison offers a plethora of features designed to help you connect with your ideal match. From private messaging to chat rooms and virtual gifts, you’ll find plenty of tools at your disposal, all aimed at helping you build connections and boost your dating success.
12) Use search filters effectively to find compatible matches
Venturing into the world of online dating can sometimes feel like sifting through countless profiles in search of the perfect match – much like Indiana Jones hunting for lost artifacts in “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” To streamline your quest for dating success on Ashley Madison, using search filters effectively is the key – it’s like having your very own “Sorting Hat” from the “Harry Potter” series to guide you to compatible connections.
Think of search filters as your dating GPS – they help you navigate the vast landscape of potential matches and zero in on those who share your interests and desires. Just like Sherlock Holmes using his powers of deduction, you can apply filters to find profiles that align with your preferences, from age and location to specific interests and relationship goals.
13) Take advantage of the ‘Traveling Man/Woman’ feature when visiting other cities
Navigating the world of online dating while traveling can feel like stepping into a thrilling “James Bond” mission – a globe-trotting adventure filled with excitement, romance, and the allure of new connections. To make the most of your dating experiences on Ashley Madison when visiting other cities, embrace the ‘Traveling Man/Woman’ feature – it’s like having your very own “Doctor Who” TARDIS to transport you to exciting new destinations and encounters.
Picture the ‘Traveling Man/Woman’ feature as your personal dating teleporter, much like the one used by the X-Men’s Nightcrawler, allowing you to connect with potential matches in other cities before you even arrive. By using this feature, you’ll be able to pre-plan your dating escapades, ensuring you have a roster of exciting connections waiting for you at your destination – just like Bond meeting his local contacts in exotic locales.
14) Understand and manage the platform’s credit system
Navigating the credit system on Ashley Madison can feel like playing a strategic game of “Monopoly” – it’s all about managing your resources wisely to maximize your chances of success. By understanding and effectively managing the platform’s credit system, you’ll be like a “Wolf of Wall Street” trader, skillfully leveraging your assets for the best possible return on your investment.
Think of Ashley Madison’s credit system as your personal dating currency, much like the coins used in “Mario Kart” to unlock new features and opportunities. By purchasing and utilizing credits, you can access premium features like initiating conversations, sending gifts, and boosting your profile visibility, all aimed at enhancing your dating experience.
So, don your “Ocean’s Eleven” poker face and embrace the world of credit management on Ashley Madison. By understanding and effectively managing the platform’s credit system, you’ll be well on your way to becoming a dating powerhouse, maximizing your opportunities for connection and romance while keeping your investments in check.
15) Send engaging and personalized first messages
Crafting the perfect first message on Ashley Madison can feel like penning a witty one-liner for a sitcom – it’s all about striking the right balance between humor, intrigue, and personalization. By sending engaging and personalized first messages, you’ll be like a master wordsmith on a hit TV show, capturing the attention and interest of your audience with your clever wit and charm.
Picture your first message as an icebreaker at a “Friends” Central Perk-style coffeehouse, setting the stage for a captivating conversation with your potential match. Instead of relying on generic pickup lines or copy-pasting a generic message, take the time to read their profile and tailor your opening line to their interests or something unique about them. It’s like the “How I Met Your Mother” playbook – the more thought and effort you put into your message, the better your chances of sparking a connection.
16) Ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation flowing
Keeping a conversation flowing on Ashley Madison can feel like being a contestant on “Jeopardy!” – it’s all about asking the right questions and engaging your potential match in a lively exchange of ideas. By asking open-ended questions, you’ll be like a skilled interviewer on a late-night talk show, effortlessly guiding the conversation and creating a genuine connection with your guest.
Picture your conversation as a dance routine from “La La Land” – the key to success lies in the intricate interplay between you and your partner. Instead of firing off a barrage of yes-or-no questions that can quickly bring the conversation to a standstill, opt for open-ended inquiries that encourage your match to share more about themselves, their interests, and their experiences, much like a captivating story arc in a critically acclaimed drama series.
17) Be genuine, respectful, and attentive in your interactions
Navigating the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like stepping onto the set of a reality TV show – it’s all about building connections, creating chemistry, and showcasing your best qualities. By being genuine, respectful, and attentive in your interactions, you’ll be like the fan-favorite contestant that captures the hearts of both your potential matches and the audience at home.
Picture your online interactions as a heart-to-heart conversation in a romantic comedy – the key to winning over your potential match is authenticity and sincerity. Instead of trying to adopt a persona or impress with exaggerated claims, embrace your true self and let your unique qualities shine through, much like the memorable characters in a coming-of-age drama.
18) Know when to take the conversation off the platform
Once you’ve established trust and rapport with a potential match, consider moving the conversation to a more personal platform, such as email or phone. This can help create a more intimate connection and show that you’re serious about taking things to the next level.
19) Establish boundaries and expectations with potential matches
Clear communication is key to a successful dating experience. Discuss your boundaries, preferences, and expectations with potential matches to ensure that you’re on the same page and can navigate your connection with mutual understanding and respect.
20) Look out for red flags and potential scams
Setting the stage for a successful online dating experience on Ashley Madison can feel like carefully crafting the plot of a riveting mystery novel – it’s all about clarity, communication, and ensuring that everyone is on the same page. By establishing boundaries and expectations with potential matches, you’ll be like the skilled detective in a thrilling whodunit, expertly piecing together the puzzle of your romantic connections.
Think of your dating journey as a captivating “choose your own adventure” story, where you and your potential match navigate the twists and turns of your unique relationship. Instead of leaving things to chance or misinterpretation, take the time to discuss your boundaries and expectations openly and honestly, much like the candid confessions in a gripping memoir.
21) Trust your instincts and prioritize your safety
Navigating the online dating landscape on Ashley Madison can feel like embarking on an epic journey through a fantasy novel – it’s full of excitement, adventure, and the occasional unexpected challenge. By trusting your instincts and prioritizing your safety, you’ll be like the wise and resourceful hero in a thrilling saga, expertly maneuvering through the twists and turns of your romantic quest.
Consider your dating experiences as an intricate labyrinth, much like the ones featured in a gripping sci-fi thriller. As you explore the various connections and conversations, rely on your intuition to guide you through the maze of potential matches. If something feels off or raises a red flag, trust your gut and proceed with caution, just as a skilled secret agent would in a high-stakes espionage mission.
22) Arrange initial meetings in public places
Embarking on the journey of meeting potential matches from Ashley Madison can feel like stepping into the world of a captivating romantic comedy – it’s filled with anticipation, excitement, and the hope of discovering a genuine connection. By arranging initial meetings in public places, you’ll be like the savvy and safety-conscious protagonist in a feel-good film, ensuring that your romantic encounters are both enjoyable and secure.
Picture your first in-person meeting as a scene from a charming, heartwarming movie. As you and your potential match prepare to meet, choose a location that’s both comfortable and public, much like the bustling café or scenic park featured in a blockbuster romance. This ensures that your meeting takes place in a safe, neutral environment, setting the stage for a memorable and secure rendezvous.
23) Practice safe digital communication and maintain discretion throughout your interactions
Delving into the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like navigating a thrilling spy thriller – it’s full of intrigue, clandestine encounters, and the need for discretion. By practicing safe digital communication and maintaining discretion throughout your interactions, you’ll be like the skilled and cautious secret agent in a gripping espionage saga, ensuring that your romantic adventures remain under wraps and secure.
Consider your dating journey as a high-stakes game of cat and mouse, with each interaction requiring a delicate balance of openness and confidentiality. As you communicate with potential matches, embrace your inner 007 and employ secure messaging practices, just as a seasoned spy would when transmitting classified information in a suspenseful spy caper.
24) Be open to exploring different types of connections and experiences
Venturing into the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like embarking on a thrilling journey through a captivating anthology – each connection and experience offers a unique story, brimming with potential for excitement, growth, and discovery. By being open to exploring different types of connections and experiences, you’ll be like the adventurous protagonist in a fascinating collection of tales, ready to embrace the unexpected and revel in the unknown.
Consider your dating journey as a vibrant mosaic, much like the tapestry of characters and narratives featured in a spellbinding TV series. As you engage with potential matches and explore various relationships, approach each encounter with curiosity and openness, just as a daring explorer would when venturing into uncharted territories in an enthralling adventure flick.
25) Keep a sense of humor and stay light-hearted in your conversations
Navigating the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like tuning into an engaging sitcom – it’s filled with witty banter, amusing anecdotes, and the occasional dose of awkwardness. By keeping a sense of humor and staying light-hearted in your conversations, you’ll be like the charismatic lead in a beloved comedy series, setting the stage for fun and laughter-filled connections.
Think of your dating journey as a laugh-out-loud comedy sketch, with each interaction offering the chance for playful repartee and entertaining exchanges. As you chat with potential matches, embrace your inner comedic genius and let your sense of humor shine, just as a hilarious character would in a side-splitting stand-up routine.
26) Show genuine interest in getting to know your matches
Venturing into the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like stepping into the pages of a compelling novel – each connection offers the opportunity to learn about someone’s unique story, filled with intricate layers, captivating anecdotes, and the potential for shared adventures. By showing genuine interest in getting to know your matches, you’ll be like the attentive and empathetic protagonist in a heartwarming tale, fostering meaningful connections built on understanding and curiosity.
Visualize your dating journey as an intriguing mystery, with each interaction revealing new clues and insights into your potential match’s personality and history. As you engage in conversation, embrace your inner detective and ask thoughtful questions, just as a skilled investigator would when piecing together the puzzle of a captivating whodunit.
27) Be patient and understand that finding the right match may take time
Embarking on the journey of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like joining the cast of a captivating reality show – it’s full of intriguing personalities, unexpected twists, and the quest for a perfect match. By being patient and understanding that finding the right connection may take time, you’ll be like the level-headed contestant in a thrilling dating competition, staying the course and keeping your eye on the ultimate prize: a meaningful and fulfilling connection.
Visualize your dating journey as an enthralling treasure hunt, with each interaction offering clues and hints towards discovering that elusive and priceless gem – a compatible and lasting match. As you engage with potential partners, embrace your inner Indiana Jones and exhibit patience and perseverance, just as a determined adventurer would when seeking the hidden riches of a legendary lost city.
28) Don’t be discouraged by rejection or setbacks; stay persistent
Diving into the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like participating in an exciting game show – it’s full of thrilling challenges, unexpected obstacles, and the pursuit of a grand prize: a meaningful connection with someone special. By not being discouraged by rejection or setbacks and staying persistent, you’ll be like the tenacious competitor in a high-stakes contest, overcoming hurdles and keeping your eyes on the end goal.
Envision your dating journey as an exhilarating obstacle course, with each interaction offering opportunities to learn, grow, and adapt. As you connect with potential matches, embrace your inner Rocky Balboa and exhibit resilience and determination, just as a committed athlete would when training for a championship bout.
29) Celebrate your successes and learn from any challenges
Embarking on the journey of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like taking part in a captivating personal growth story – it’s full of opportunities for self-discovery, celebrating triumphs, and learning valuable lessons from setbacks. By acknowledging your successes and using challenges as learning experiences, you’ll be like the self-reflective protagonist in an empowering tale of transformation, evolving and growing with each new encounter.
Picture your dating journey as a riveting adventure, with each interaction providing chances for personal development and growth. As you engage with potential matches, embrace your inner Luke Skywalker and approach every experience with an open heart and mind, just as a courageous hero would when facing the unknown in a spellbinding epic.
30) Keep a balance between your online dating life and other aspects of your life
Venturing into the realm of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like stepping onto the set of a thrilling TV series – it’s full of captivating characters, engaging plotlines, and the pursuit of romantic connections. By maintaining a balance between your online dating life and other aspects of your life, you’ll be like the well-rounded protagonist in a compelling drama, juggling multiple facets of life while keeping your priorities in check.
Consider your dating journey as a gripping narrative, with each interaction adding depth and color to your personal storyline. As you connect with potential matches, embrace your inner Don Draper and approach your dating life with a sense of equilibrium, just as a multifaceted character would when navigating the complexities of work, relationships, and personal growth in a riveting period drama.
31) Respect the privacy and boundaries of others on the platform
Just as you value your privacy, be respectful of the privacy and boundaries of your matches. Be mindful of the information you request and the expectations you place on others.
32) Be open to giving and receiving feedback to improve your dating experience
Exploring the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like participating in a transformative reality show – it’s full of opportunities for self-improvement, meaningful connections, and candid feedback. By being open to giving and receiving feedback, you’ll be like the growth-minded contestant in a captivating social experiment, continuously learning and adapting to enhance your dating experience.
Think of your dating journey as a stimulating personal development workshop, with each interaction providing valuable insights and lessons. As you engage with potential matches, embrace your inner Ted Lasso and approach feedback with an open mind and heart, just as a supportive coach would when fostering growth and development in a heartwarming sports comedy.
34) Maintain a positive attitude and focus on the potential for exciting new connections
Navigating the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like stepping into a heartwarming romantic comedy – it’s full of surprising twists, engaging characters, and the promise of exciting new connections. By maintaining a positive attitude and focusing on the potential for meeting interesting people, you’ll be like the optimistic protagonist in an enchanting love story, ready to embrace life’s adventures and unexpected romances.
Picture your dating journey as a delightful narrative, with each interaction offering the chance to discover new connections and exciting possibilities. As you engage with potential matches, channel your inner Amélie Poulain and approach your dating life with a sense of wonder and optimism, just as a whimsical character would when exploring the magic and charm of a captivating French film.
35) Stay informed about changes and updates on Ashley Madison
Delving into the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like joining a suspenseful mystery series – it’s full of unexpected developments, evolving storylines, and the potential for thrilling connections. By staying informed about changes and updates on the platform, you’ll be like the resourceful detective in an enthralling whodunit, always ready to adapt and uncover new opportunities for romance.
Envision your dating journey as an intriguing puzzle, with each update and change presenting new pieces to explore and fit together. As you interact with potential matches, channel your inner Sherlock Holmes and approach the ever-evolving landscape of Ashley Madison with curiosity and determination, just as a brilliant investigator would when solving a captivating case in a gripping crime drama.
36) Be adaptable and willing to adjust your approach if needed
Venturing into the world of online dating on Ashley Madison can feel like being part of an exhilarating reality show – it’s full of unpredictable challenges, shifting dynamics, and opportunities for growth. By being adaptable and willing to adjust your approach, you’ll be like the resourceful contestant in a high-stakes competition, always prepared to pivot and seize new chances for romantic connections.
Picture your dating journey as a thrilling game, with each interaction offering valuable insights and opportunities to refine your strategy. As you engage with potential matches, channel your inner “Survivor” contestant and approach the ever-changing environment of Ashley Madison with determination and flexibility, just as a skilled competitor would when outwitting opponents in a riveting tropical adventure.
37) Keep an open mind and be willing to explore new aspects of your desires
Embarking on your Ashley Madison journey can feel like stepping into a captivating fantasy series – it’s full of fascinating characters, uncharted territories, and opportunities for self-discovery. By keeping an open mind and being willing to explore new aspects of your desires, you’ll be like the curious adventurer in an enchanting saga, ready to embrace the unknown and uncover hidden treasures.
38) Practice effective time management to make the most of your Ashley Madison experience
Navigating the world of Ashley Madison can feel like starring in a thrilling time-travel adventure – it’s full of exciting encounters, unexpected twists, and opportunities to make the most of every moment. By practicing effective time management, you’ll be like the ingenious time-traveler in a gripping saga, adept at seizing opportunities and making the most of your exhilarating journey.
Envision your dating experience as an exhilarating race against the clock, with each interaction offering valuable lessons and chances to refine your approach. As you engage with potential matches, channel your inner protagonist from a pulse-pounding thriller, and tackle the challenges of Ashley Madison with strategic planning and a keen eye on the clock, just as a skilled operative would when diffusing a high-stakes situation.
39) Know your own limits and communicate them clearly to your matches
Venturing into the world of Ashley Madison can feel like embarking on an epic journey of self-discovery – it’s full of intriguing encounters, valuable lessons, and opportunities to learn more about yourself. By knowing your own limits and communicating them clearly to your matches, you’ll be like the self-aware protagonist in a captivating narrative, adept at expressing your needs and forging meaningful connections.
Picture your dating adventure as a poignant coming-of-age tale, with each interaction offering the chance to grow and understand yourself more deeply. As you engage with potential matches, channel your inner hero from a heartfelt drama, and approach your journey with honesty and self-awareness, just as a wise protagonist would when navigating the complexities of life and love.
40) Be honest with yourself about your expectations and desires
Embarking on your Ashley Madison adventure can feel like stepping into a mesmerizing character study – it’s full of fascinating encounters, illuminating moments, and opportunities to delve deeper into your own motivations and desires. By being honest with yourself about your expectations and desires, you’ll be like the insightful protagonist in an engaging narrative, adept at understanding your own needs and pursuing fulfilling connections.
Envision your dating journey as a rich exploration of the human experience, with each interaction offering the chance to learn more about your authentic self. As you connect with potential matches, channel your inner lead from a compelling drama, and approach your journey with sincerity and introspection, just as a perceptive character would when grappling with the intricacies of their own heart.
41) Utilize the platform’s resources and support options if needed
Diving into the world of Ashley Madison can feel like embarking on a thrilling adventure – it’s full of captivating encounters, unexpected twists, and opportunities to make the most of the platform’s resources. By utilizing Ashley Madison’s resources and support options when needed, you’ll be like the resourceful protagonist in an exhilarating tale, adept at overcoming obstacles and forging meaningful connections.
Picture your dating journey as a riveting quest, with each interaction offering the chance to learn more about the platform and its various features. As you engage with potential matches, channel your inner hero from an action-packed blockbuster, and approach your journey with a willingness to seek help and guidance, just as a fearless adventurer would when facing seemingly insurmountable challenges.
42) Keep track of your interactions and follow up with potential matches
Navigating the realm of Ashley Madison can feel like unfolding a complex and intriguing plot – it’s full of captivating encounters, meaningful connections, and opportunities to keep track of your interactions. By staying organized and following up with potential matches, you’ll be like the attentive protagonist in a riveting drama, adept at maintaining meaningful relationships and fostering deeper connections.
43) Remain discrete and considerate of others’ privacy, both online and offline
Venturing into the world of Ashley Madison can feel like entering a sophisticated and enigmatic narrative – it’s full of intriguing encounters, delicate situations, and opportunities to practice discretion. By remaining discrete and considerate of others’ privacy, you’ll be like the diplomatic protagonist in an engrossing story, adept at handling sensitive matters and fostering trust with those around you.
44) Embrace the learning process and strive for self-improvement
Embarking on the journey with Ashley Madison can feel like stepping into an inspiring and transformative narrative – it’s full of enriching experiences, personal growth, and opportunities to embrace the learning process. By striving for self-improvement and continually evolving, you’ll be like the dynamic protagonist in an uplifting tale, adept at overcoming challenges and discovering your true potential.
Picture your dating journey as a coming-of-age story, with each interaction offering the chance to learn more about yourself and the world of online dating. As you engage with others on the platform, channel your inner adventurer from a beloved film and approach your journey with a commitment to growth, just as a determined character would when facing life-changing experiences.
45) Create a sense of mystery and intrigue in your interactions
Diving into the world of Ashley Madison can feel like immersing yourself in a spellbinding and enigmatic narrative – it’s full of tantalizing encounters, captivating connections, and opportunities to create a sense of mystery and intrigue. By weaving an air of mystique into your interactions, you’ll be like the charismatic protagonist in a riveting tale, adept at piquing curiosity and drawing others into your captivating world.
Envision your dating journey as a mesmerizing romance novel, with each interaction offering the chance to learn more about your potential matches while keeping them guessing. As you engage with others on the platform, channel your inner charmer from a popular series and approach your journey with a flair for the mysterious, just as an alluring character would when weaving a web of enchantment.
46) Set realistic expectations for your online dating journey
Embarking on the adventure with Ashley Madison can feel like stepping into a captivating and insightful narrative – it’s full of eye-opening experiences, valuable lessons, and opportunities to set realistic expectations. By managing your expectations and adopting a pragmatic outlook, you’ll be like the wise protagonist in an enlightening tale, adept at navigating the world of online dating with a clear and grounded perspective.
47) Practice active listening in your conversations
Delving into the world of Ashley Madison can feel like embarking on a compelling and emotionally rich narrative – it’s full of heartfelt exchanges, genuine connections, and opportunities to practice active listening. By honing your listening skills and genuinely engaging with your matches, you’ll be like the empathetic protagonist in a moving tale, adept at forging deep connections and understanding others on a profound level.
Picture your dating journey as a poignant drama, with each interaction offering the chance to learn more about your potential matches and their unique stories. As you engage with others on the platform, channel your inner confidant from an emotionally resonant film and approach your journey with a commitment to active listening, just as a compassionate character would when providing solace and support.
48) Be prepared for the ups and downs of online dating
Venturing into the world of Ashley Madison can feel like embarking on a roller coaster ride – it’s full of exhilarating highs, challenging lows, and opportunities to embrace the ups and downs of online dating. By preparing yourself for the inevitable twists and turns, you’ll be like the resilient protagonist in a thrilling tale, adept at facing the unexpected and remaining adaptable in the face of change.
49) Stay open to feedback from your matches
Navigating the thrilling world of Ashley Madison can feel like a gripping TV series, full of plot twists, character development, and unexpected revelations. As you explore this exhilarating landscape, it’s essential to stay open to feedback from your matches. By doing so, you’ll be like the ever-evolving protagonist in a binge-worthy drama, ready to learn from experiences and grow as a person.
Envision your dating journey as an engrossing story arc, where each interaction offers a chance for self-reflection and growth. As you connect with others on the platform, channel your inner lead from a critically acclaimed show and embrace the opportunity to learn from your matches’ feedback, just as a multifaceted character would when facing life’s challenges and triumphs.
50) Enjoy the journey and have fun
Diving into the world of Ashley Madison can be like jumping into a fun-filled, feel-good sitcom, brimming with laughter, surprises, and memorable moments. As you embark on this lively adventure, remember to enjoy the journey and have fun. By adopting a lighthearted attitude, you’ll be like the lovable characters in your favorite comedy series, finding joy in the unexpected and embracing the lighter side of life.
Picture your dating experience as an entertaining episode, where each interaction presents an opportunity to laugh, learn, and make lasting memories. As you engage with others on the platform, channel your inner sitcom star and approach each encounter with a playful spirit, just as the quirky characters in a long-running comedy would when navigating life’s twists and turns.
Conclusion
Armed with these tips and tricks, you’ll be like Neo in “The Matrix,” dodging dating disasters and outsmarting the obstacles on your way to success. From crafting an irresistible online dating profile (think James Bond meets Ryan Gosling) to mastering the art of engaging communication, you’ll have the skills to woo your matches like a seasoned pro. Studies have shown that having a well-written profile can make a significant impact on your dating success, with 52% of users finding profiles with well-crafted bios more attractive.
In summary, these tips and tricks will have you feeling as confident as Tony Stark at a tech conference, charming your way through the exciting world of AM. So suit up, gentlemen, and get ready to make the most of your experience on this discreet dating platform. With a little luck and a lot of savvy, you’ll be well on your way to creating your own blockbuster love story. Let the credits roll!
FAQs
How can I improve my profile to attract more matches?
To improve your profile, use high-quality photos that showcase your personality and interests. Write a concise and engaging bio, highlighting your unique qualities and what you’re looking for in a match. Update your profile regularly to keep it fresh and interesting.
What should I include in my opening message to grab attention?
Craft a personalized and engaging opening message by referencing something from the recipient’s profile. Show genuine interest and ask open-ended questions to spark conversation. Avoid generic or overly forward messages that might come across as insincere or pushy.
How can I maintain discretion while using Ashley Madison?
To maintain discretion, use a separate email and phone number for your Ashley Madison communications. Limit conversations to the platform until you feel comfortable sharing contact information, and exercise caution when connecting with matches on social media.
How can I optimize my search to find the best potential matches?
Use the platform’s advanced search features to filter your matches based on specific criteria such as location, age, interests, and relationship status. Experiment with different search combinations to find the best potential matches for your preferences.
How do I spot and avoid scams or fake profiles on the platform?
Be vigilant and trust your instincts when interacting with profiles or users. Look for signs of authenticity, such as verified profiles and well-written bios. If something feels off, disengage and report any suspicious activity to Ashley Madison’s customer support.
How can I make the most of the features Ashley Madison offers?
Explore and utilize Ashley Madison’s features like Priority Man, Traveling Man, and customizable search filters to enhance your experience on the platform. These features can help you increase your visibility, connect with matches in new locations, and refine your search for the ideal partner.
What can I do to ensure a successful in-person date with a match?
For a successful in-person date, choose a neutral and public location, communicate openly about your expectations, and remain respectful and considerate throughout the encounter. Always prioritize safety by informing a trusted friend of your plans and trusting your instincts during the date.
