Top 10 Warning Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating on You
When it comes to cheating on your wife, or your husband – the truth is, whilst you may think you’ve gotten away with it, the chances are so many changes will have happened. As someone who is a serial cheater, I’m always keen to know what the tell tell signs are so that I don’t make the foolish error of making them.
Now if you’re making the obvious schoolboy errors of being caught in the act, or have been spotted making out with an affair partner or worse still leaving incriminating evidence on your phone – then you kind of deserve to get caught. In fact, I’ll even go one step further and say, if you really are this stupid, then having an affair is the last thing you should be doing. But if you’re careful and do everything right, the chances are you could still be guilty of some of the signs below. Remember to learn them so that you can avoid making them.
What Is Cheating
Cheating is not just about having an affair behind your partner’s back, no sir. Flirting, browsing dating apps for married people (From Virtual to Reality: Ashley Madison Meeting Tips and Tricks), one night stands, micro-cheating and even emotional affairs all fall under the cheating banner. Especially if you are hiding these behaviours from your loved one, then they most definitely are not innocent. All cheating, physical or not is a breach of trust. And most relationships out there revolve around some level of trust.
Warning Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating on You
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A Change In Appearance.
The first time I ever had an affair it was with a personal trainer at a gym. Now I didn’t have a gym body at the time and to be fair, I rarely even went to the gym. But the second I started dating her, all that changed in a heart beat. I was attending classes, I was lifting weights, I was watching what I ate and I became addicted to getting in shape. I couldn’t walk past a mirror without checking myself out. And of course with my new body, I needed new clothes. But not just smaller sizes of what I was already wearing, NO WAY! I was dressing substantially more fashionable. I was looking at GQ at least once a week, and gleaning inspiration from what the models were wearing. I thought I was being subtle, but my girlfriend at the time kept commenting on all these changes. I would say things like: well, I’ve lost all this weight, so of course I need new clothes. But she wasn’t stupid! And very quickly realised there was something more to my weight loss than met the eye.
2. Sudden Work Meetings
I was never one to have work meetings go on till late, let alone business trips abroad. But as my affairs increased, the women I was messing around with wanted more than just a quick tryst in a hotel room during the day. They wanted dinner, they wanted that trip away – they wanted time together. And the only way to justify my increased absence at home, was to invent ‘work meetings’, last minute team dinners and of course fake deadlines imposed by my boss. I thought I was being slick, but an after a whilst, I couldn’t even keep up with what actually happened during these fake meetings. Leaving me open to being exposed.
3. My Phone
I used to be the type of guy that would leave my phone everywhere. I was never one of these guys that was glued to my device. But the second I started having affairs, before I was smart enough to use a burner device, I became very precious about it. Whilst I’d keep it as clean as possible, messages would come in at the strangest of hours, and leaving it lying around was simply asking for trouble. I even started take it into the bathroom with me whilst I was having a shower, on the of change the wrong message came at the wrong time. I wouldn’t even let my girlfriend use it to phone her own phone when she couldn’t find it. This for me was probably the biggest giveaway.
4. Distance
Whilst I can’t speak for all men, what I did notice about myself was that I became more distant with my wife. I shared less and was emotionally and physically less available. My heart and mind were with my newest affair partner, and I put more emphasise on keeping them happy than I did my own wife. I became very disinterested in her life and wanted all conversations to be over so I could return to my exciting, cheating world on my phone.
5. Money
Anyone who has had a fair degree of affairs will tell you that affairs cost money. They are just not cheap. And anyone telling you otherwise is just a cheap piece of shit. I had less disposable cash at the end of the month because trips to fancy hotels are expensive. Now whilst I was never stupid enough to use a joint bank account, there were a couple of occasions where I made large cash withdrawals from there and then very quickly replaced the money – something a bank statement would show. Of course I learnt more about side hustles than ever before.
6. Sex
Let’s talk about sex baby – and that is when you’re with your wife, or long-term partner, the sex has a rhythm to it. It’s less spontaneous and you already know what your partner likes. But when you are with another women, you are far more experimental. Bringing that behaviour home to your wife is going to suddenly make her wonder where all these new moves are coming from. And if you’re a guy, it’s truly hard to explain. It’s not as if you can say you were reading the latest women’s edition of Cosmo and gleaned inspiration from there.
7. Deflecting
If you are a cheating SOB like me, sometimes using reverse psychology seems at the time like a good idea. Accusing your very innocent partner of cheating is surprisingly a tactic used by a lot of men. Now whilst I never did this one, it often occurred to me that this type if misdirection could easily be used. It wouldn’t e too difficult to get jealous and over possessive over your wife, and constantly accuse her of cheating on you.
8. Hobbies
I used this one all the time. I’d often say I was playing tennis and deflecting away from the fact that I was really out with my latest and greatest affair partner. I’d leave the house in my whitest tennis shorts and my tennis gear – thinking that this would dissuade my wife from even thinking that I was off to have an affair, versus playing an epic game of tennis with an old friend. How wrong this was. I once made the school boy error of inviting my ‘alleged tennis partner’ round for dinner and accidentally. said I hadn’t seen him in ages, to which my wife chuckled and said but you see each other every week when you play tennis. WOOPS.
9. Mood Swings
It’s common to argue with your affair partner. Just because you are having an affair and it’s meant to be fun, doesn’t mean it’s not a relationship. And with all relationships, there are highs and lows. I used to have these huge rows with a particular side chick, and when I came home it was practically impossible for me to shake off my bad mood. I’d be in a terrible mood, and it was impossible to hide. Especially if I had just broken up with someone not long before walking in the door at home; worse still, fallen in love with someone else.
10. Intuition
The truth is gut feeling and intuition are the biggest signs. You could do every single thing perfectly, but your wife would just know deep down that something is wrong. And often this comes from making one or more of the errors above.
Conclusion
I always swore I’d never write an article like this. In fact, even after having written for 2 national papers, it did occur to me that this type of article would help break down cheating men everywhere. But after having published over 250 articles, it dawned on me that if you did make the above errors then getting caught was probably what you deserved. However, the reason I decided to pen this piece is because I wanted all cheating men everywhere to know how to cover their tracks. And whilst burner phones and disassociated behaviour can help do this – knowing that women out there are reading articles just like this one, I figured me writing it would help men be smarter. After all, a good affair isn’t about hurting anyone – it’s quite the opposite. It’s about having your fun and not hurting anyone in the process. After all, is it really an affair if you’ve never been caught. So be smart, learn the above and be sure to never ever make these school boy errors.
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