Cheating Is Like A Drug | Highly Addictive
There’s something about cheating which is truly quite addictive. The build up to it, the cheating and the getting away with it – it’s thrilling! There really are no words to describe it. I remember the first time I cheated on my girlfriend, I was 18. I had somehow gotten into this crazy love triangle, of dating my ex at the same time. And I just couldn’t get enough!
The attention from both these girls filled me with that warm and fuzzy feeling and let’s not forget how amazing the sex was. In my teens I struggled to get one women, and here I was at 18 with two very attractive girls. And whether you want to call it greed, or stupidity or any other adjective, I wanted more. I wanted to see if I could just keep on collecting more and newer girls.
I was simply hooked!
And 22 years later, I’m still hooked. And still cheating and still want more!
Was I Alone? Was Time To Look At The Data
I turned to the infidelity stats. It’s estimated up to 57% of men cheat at least once in their lifetime. Why? Because casual sex with no strings attached is one of the greatest pleasures known to man. In fact, it’s thought that around a quarter of married men have enjoyed long-standing affairs on the side. If you’re thinking about playing away from the marital bed, there’s usually no such thing as a one and done. Once you’re in, you’re in it for the long haul.
The Science Behind Sleeping Around
If you’ve become addicted to cheating, you’re not alone. What’s more, you’ll be glad to know that science has a name for that compulsion to keep chasing sex with casual partners. It’s called “flame addiction“. Looking to ease any feelings of guilt? The good news is that you’re not really in control of your actions. Once a man’s interest has been piqued by a new piece, hormones and neurochemicals take over.
Do you feel like there’s adrenaline rushing through your veins as you drive to that hotel for your next hookup? Well, it sort of is. There’s also a significant drop in serotonin levels, which loosens up your inhibitions. Most importantly, the brain gets flooded with dopamine. Otherwise known as the reward chemical, it’s dopamine that puts the cherry on top of every sexual encounter.
This rush, combined with the inevitable ecstasy that comes at the end of an hour-long session, is like nothing else. But like any chemical-induced euphoria, there’s the inescapable crash. Eventually, that feeling fades and you’re left pining for your next hit.
Sometimes, the same routine isn’t enough to scratch that itch. Casual sex and cheating are often a case of diminishing returns. To make sure you reach that blissful high more often than not, you need to keep on top of the more compulsive side of cheating. And if you’re any good at reading when married women like you, then you’re going to be on this ferris wheel a long time.
Dealing with the Compulsion
If you’re good enough to keep getting away with it, carrying on with multiple partners indefinitely is a no harm, no foul situation. That being said, you still need to keep your compulsions in check. Itching to empty your load in the middle of the day? If you have an alibi in place and there’s zero chance of you getting found out, go for it.
However, that impromptu rendezvous could be incredibly risky. If you don’t have time to preplan your line of defense, keep it in your pants for the time being.
It might seem like it’s taking the fun out of things, but establishing some ground rules for yourself is a good idea. Be realistic about when you’re realistically free to go off and chase a one-nighter.
Feel something stirring at noon on a Saturday? You’ve zero chance of styling that one out once you return home stinking of sweat and someone else’s perfume.
Got an hour to kill after an early finish at the office? Bingo.
Be opportunistic when it comes to planning your next tryst. If you’ve got your wheels and an app-filled phone at your disposal, the world is your oyster.
Of course when I was 18 there were no smartphones, no apps, just good old fashioned calls and texting. The type of texting where you had to press the number a few times to get to the right letter.
I recently asked myself what specifically about cheating I was addicted to. Was it the flirting with someone new, or was it the sex, or was it the the getting away with it.
And what I concluded was that it was a combination of all 3, but all 3 stages had within them their own highs…
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