How To Keep a Married Man Interested in You
Have you ended up as the other woman in an affair? Some of us are happy to play the dutiful girlfriend and go the extra mile for our married partners. However, it’s not always to keep a married guy hooked on the line. Eventually, guilt can start eating away at them, driving them back into the arms of their spouses. Other times, cockier guys start getting itchy feet and want to spice things up by seeing who else they’re capable of landing. If they’ve already snagged a side piece once, they won’t have any reservations about ditching you for someone else.
Struggling to keep a married man interested? The good news is you don’t have to pull out the stops to keep a married guy coming back for more. In fact, many of the same tricks you’ve tried on single guys can be used here.
1. Make an Effort
When I’ve dealt with married guys before, the simplest tricks are often the most successful. If you think that your married boyfriend is looking elsewhere for something better, simply up your game. Guys who cheat on their wives tend to be driven by physical attractiveness. If you’re worried he’s looking elsewhere for a younger, sexier model, make a point of taking things to the next level with your outfit choices. Dress like you’re trying to be noticed. If he spots other guys giving you a second look, he’s going to reconsider weighing up his options and pursuing other women.
2. Shower Him With Attention
Even if a guy is playing away because he’s looking for a better sex life, he’ll still crave some emotional connection. A lack of emotional intimacy is often a big factor in affairs coming to a close. You’ll need to work hard to keep him interested by showering him with affection. This can be as simple as listening to his problems and letting him know he always has a willing ear. However, you’ll also want to target his fragile ego. Compliment the clothes his wearing, let him know you’ve noticed that new fragrance he’s spritzed on, and generally dish out credit like it’s going out of fashion.
3. NSFW Texts
I’ve found that some married guys like to put up barriers when it comes to messaging between dates. This is understandable if he’s paranoid about an affair being brought out into the open. However, if your affair partner maintains open lines of communication with you, make sure you’re utilizing them. A daily text will go a long way in letting him know you’re thinking about him. Want to go the extra mile? Dial things up a notch by sending flirty texts. If you’re feeling adventurous, the occasional naked selfie will also work wonders and ensure he doesn’t even consider looking elsewhere or going back to a life of monogamy.
4. Be the Damsel in Distress
Guys like to feel like they’re a superhero. Play up to this if you want to keep a married man interested. Men are preprogrammed to be the knight in shining armor, even if they’re useless in the role. Try and come up with scenarios where you need his help. The idea here is to make him think he’s the only man on the planet who can be called upon to play the hero. You can keep things simple and ask for advice, or make out you need his help with an urgent DIY project.
5. Remind Him That Other Guys Are Interested
This one can be hard to pull off successfully. I’ve already touched upon how dressing sexy can pique other guys’ interests, but you need to go even further than this if you want to remind a married man about how desirable you are. However, you need to be careful with this one. Whatever you do, avoid telling him outright about how desirable you are. Instead, take a subtle approach. Drop the occasional hint that a colleague or casual acquaintance is showing an interest in you. You don’t want to come across as keen or open to the idea. Instead, make a joke about it, pointing out how good you already have it. You gently remind a married man that other guys are out there, but you also get to feed his ego.
6. Don’t Be the Demanding Other Woman
A lot of married men cheat because they’re trying to escape demanding wives and home lives. Therefore, you don’t want to replicate the issues he’s trying to distance himself from. Your relationship should be an oasis away from the hell he’s experiencing at home. Follow his lead as much as possible. Is he a casual customer who doesn’t play to a schedule? Don’t be the kind of girl who wants plans laid out a month in advance.
This can be tricky, especially if the affair has been going on for some time. As the months turn into years, it’s fair to expect a certain level of commitment from a married man. However, until he leaves his wife and agrees to make things official with you, you’re never going to be able to demand all of his time.
7. Mind Your Temper
If you want to keep a married man interested, you need to avoid losing your cool, no matter how volatile a situation is. Admittedly, sometimes the mask can slip, but there’s a difference between getting pissy for a moment and erupting in public. Men need to know that their affair is going to remain a secret, no matter how heated an exchange can get. Even men that don’t cheat admit that they’d happily do it if they could guarantee that an extramarital relationship wouldn’t be discovered.
Guys’ minds always drift to thoughts of Fatal Attraction when considering affairs. While they probably don’t think you’re going to start boiling their pets and attempt to drive them off the road, there’s always that nagging worry that a wronged woman is going to try and destroy their marriage when rebuked.
8. Don’t Introduce Him To Your Friends
The longer an affair carries on, the more normal it starts to feel. If you’ve been seeing a married man for many months, you might want to start doing more conventional things like overnight stays and introducing him to your friends. Even if he’d be open to the idea, this is something to avoid. Why? An affair should be something that can be compartmentalized. Bringing friends and casual acquaintances into the mix complicates things. Ultimately, he knows you have a life of your own, but married guys rarely think about the ins and outs of the lives of their affair partners. Once he starts seeing you interacting with close friends, things get real. It can make him think twice about his own situation and what he stands to lose.
9. Let Him Do the Deciding
Guys respond well when they feel like they’re in control. If you want to keep the affair going, you’re going to have to be pretty submissive. This can be as simple as letting him decide where the two of you will meet. If he’s worried about getting caught out, you’ll also need to let him take the lead when it comes to physical intimacy. Behind closed doors and in the bedroom, all bets are off. However, when you’re out in the real world, it’s a different matter entirely.
Whatever you do, don’t initiate physical contact when you’re in public. This rules out everything from a playful touch to handholding. You can still do these things, but let him decide when it’s safe to do so. This way, he’s not going to stress out about being seen by someone he knows. This not only takes away those nagging feelings of anxiety but leaves him quietly feeling like he’s in constant control of the situation.
10. Playing Hard to Get
This might seem counterintuitive, especially if you’re trying to keep a guy with wandering eyes and a short attention span. However, I’ve found the hard-to-get routine can be useful in reminding a guy what he’s missing out on. If you’re overly keen and ready to go when he is, he might start thinking that this is standard with all women. In other words, he’ll feel primed to go out and look for other women who are just as keen.
Just because you’re the other woman, doesn’t mean you have to lose your mystique. Avoid responding to him within seconds of receiving a text. Does he want to meet this afternoon for a last-minute session at a hotel? If you’re really up for it, go ahead. However, don’t feel obliged to give in to every demand. If he really wants it, he’ll wait.
11. Put Yourself in His Shoes
If you’re itching for commitment or want a married man to put you first, it’s easy to forget about the people in this situation you don’t see. I’m talking about his wife and family. While you’re not responsible for getting him to cheat, you should think about what a married man has to lose if an affair is revealed.
While you shouldn’t shoulder his guilt, thinking about what he has to lose will help you understand him more. Any resistance he’s feeling or flighty behavior is often the result of guilt and anxiety, rather than a lack of interest in you.
Making an Affair Official
Have you been hoping an affair turns into the real thing? Although most affairs burn out within a couple of months, others carry on for much longer. If you’ve been seeing the same man for 12 months or longer, genuine romantic feelings have likely developed. Some women choose to wait it out and continue the affair, hoping that their married partner will eventually come to his senses, get a divorce, and make a commitment. However, this rarely happens in reality.
If you want to turn an affair into an actual relationship, you need to be upfront with a married man. Don’t give him an ultimatum and never ask him to choose. Why? The simple answer is that he’ll almost always choose his wife and bring the affair to a close. If you’re particularly forceful, he’ll take this as a sign that you’ll do anything to maintain the relationship and cut contact altogether. Instead, focus on your feelings. Tell him what he and the relationship mean to you. Be as syrupy as you like with your wording, but drum home all the positives you’re both getting from the relationship. Once he knows that this affair has legs, he’ll be a lot less anxious about his marriage ending.
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