2 Methods On How To Pickup Married Women In The Gym

I was working out with a friend of mine the other day at the gym. I usually like to train alone but for some reason had got dragged along by him. About 30 seconds into walking in, I was focused on my workout, whilst his eyes and mind was everywhere but on the machines. He was staring at all the married women, and smiling at them in vain. At one point, he even went over and approached a couple of them and got shot down within seconds.

It was embarrassing.

Nonetheless, I continued with my workout, whilst he continued to get shot down time and time again. It got to the stage where I didn’t even want to be seen with him. I just put my music up super loud and pretended I didn’t know him. I just sensed, that I’d be guilty by association.

He pretended to do a workout, and would keep lifting ridiculously heavy weights in an attempt to get women’s attention, and despite being good looking and having a good physique, he came across looking like both a perv and a freak!

I rushed through my routine and went to the jacuzzi to relax. I was praying he wouldn’t join me there. I figured, if he came there and continued to hit on women, I’d have no place to hide (except underwater).

Luckily for me it was late, it was a Sunday, and I was the only guy in there. Lo and behold he joined me and I had to ask:

Buddy, what the fuck was all that about?

This guy was madly obsessed with the book The Game and all things PUA. He told me he had read some article online about how to pickup women in the gym and wanted to test some of the advice he had gotten. I told him to send me the link and later that night, I read the article. It was terrible.

The advice was so bad and had clearly been written by someone who had picked up one woman one time, and perhaps in a place like California where everyone was so friendly. But there’s no way it would have worked in cities like New York or London, where women generally have their guards up (for good reason).

I felt he needed some better advice. He did well with women whilst out and about but for obvious reasons, he would keep failing in the gym over and over again.

His failed and embarrassing futile attempts, coupled with the fact that I did ok with women from my gym, encouraged me to write this very article. I almost feel it’s a public service…..

Why (Married) Women Go To The Gym

For those of you who think picking up women in the gym is a good idea, I’d ask that you take a moment to just think about why they come to the gym in the first place. Given that I know and speak to plenty of women, and can only talk from my experience, I can tell you that women go to the gym for one or more of the following reasons:

Lose Weight / Tone / Maintain

Let’s start with the obvious. Women, like many guys, go to the gym to look after their bodies. Whether they’re looking to lose weight with some cardio, maintain their physique, get back into shape or just tone up – the gym is an obvious place to start. With a combination of machines and classes, where better to go to achieve this.

Feel Good

There’s no denying, the rush of serotonin after a workout is almost addictive. You feel so good after some training that it sets you up for the rest of the day. Your confidence goes through the roof, your skin glows and overall you feel amazing. Which woman wouldn’t want that.

The Social Aspect

Some of the women I know come to the gym just to be around people. Whether it’s training around strangers or working out with their friends – there’s something quite social about working out in a gym and not at home.

What Married Women Are Not Looking For In The Gym

From the conversations I’ve had with women from my gym, what they are not looking for is to be hit on. The gym is meant to be a safe space for them to workout. In fact, many of the women I’ve spoken to are always in a rush. They don’t have all day to hang about and squeeze their 45 – 60 minute workout in so they can get back to their day as quickly as possible. Some of them wear minimal makeup, their hair is all over the place – and they couldn’t care less because getting hit on is the last thing they’d want happening to them.

And let’s be honest, if married women wanted to be hit on, there’s a million other places, like a bar, where they could go and be swarmed. But the gym is meant to be a safe space and the last thing they want is for men (even good looking, ripped guys) ogling them or interrupting their rushed workout.

They’re also not stupid, they know plenty of guys have crushes on them, but is that really their problem? No

How To Pickup Married Women In The Gym

Whilst I’m no expert and only do some dating coaching, I’ve certainly had some amazing affairs and relationships from women that I’ve met in the gym. However none of them stemmed from harassing women on the gym floor. That said, I have developed 2 systems that work well for me. Method 1 is more of a long shot and works some of the time but I found that Method 2 has a higher probability of working more of the time.

Method 1 – Using Instagram

In all gyms, it’s not just the guys who stand around in front of mirrors taking pictures of themselves. If you keep your eyes peeled, there’ll also be a handful of women taking photos of themselves too.

Why you may ask?

Sure, some of them are tracking their progress and using it to see how well they’ve done, but more often than not – it’s for social media, namely Instagram. And what do these women do once they’ve taken a picture for Instagram? They of course post it but they also tag their gym.

So I would check my gym daily, to see which women had tagged it as a location, follow them and start approaching them online. Now I wouldn’t be as sleazy as sliding into their DMS, but I’d do a number of things.

I’d say things like:

‘hey, I go to the same gym, I’ve always wanted to come over and say hi but never want to disturb anyone’s workout. Let me know if you’d be up for a coffee at some point.’

OR 

‘hey, I noticed we both go to the same gym. I think I’m hitting a plateau and have been asked to find a workout buddy. Let me know if you think this is something you’d be interested in.’

Now of course, I’d be lying if I said this works all the time. I’d say honestly speaking it would work maybe 25% of the time, but at least it would break the ice, and if nothing else, I’d get a smile and a hello when I saw them on the gym floor the next time. Sometimes maybe even a coffee and on a couple of occasions it led to something more intimate.

It seemed like a softer approach than working straight up to them cold, and it always gave them the easy option to ignore me if they wanted to.

Method 2 – The Apple Watch Method

I think the reason I do better with women more than most is simply because I understand psychology. Cities like London and NYC can be scary places to live in. Women are inherently taught to have their guards up and to break it needs to have a softer more subtle approach. I discovered this method totally by accident.

My boxing instructor told me that I needed to do more cardio outside of boxing sessions. I hate running and I did plenty of skipping at the boxing gym. But in my regular gym I decided to join a spin class.

Given my life, I didn’t necessarily need to be at the gym at the exact same time everyday. Whenever I found myself free, I’d hit the gym. Until of course I stumbled on a spin class at 10am where a hoard of school mums would attend. That for obvious reasons became my regular class 3 days a week. I was only 1 of 4 guys in the class and the rest were women.

Before long, I was a regular fixture and face, and with all of our stats published on a screen in real-time, it wasn’t too hard to walk over to some of the attendees and joke about how they beat me and how I’d better my results the next time. I wasn’t a stranger anymore. I wasn’t some random guy anymore.

I’d never hit on them, but I’d always make a point of saying, hello, goodbye, and perhaps even a self deprecating joke. I’d often ask them for advice, and I was completely congruent when I did, because I genuinely wanted to get better.

But the bit that really changed everything was connecting with those who also wore Apple Watches. Now you may or may not know, but if you wear an Apple Watch, you can automatically share your workout stats with your friends. And so I’d ask the women who wore Apple Watches to share their stats with me, and me with them, in an attempt to stay motivated. To my surprise most of them loved the idea. The beauty was, in order to share their stats with me, they’d have to first give me their number (BINGO!).

And every time they’d finish a workout, it gave me a notification and the perfect excuse to text them and give them the old thumbs up.

Now here’s what I discovered, the women who wrote to me once I finished my workouts, were the most likely to engage in conversations and meet-up outside of the gym.

And once they were willing to do that, I was of course in my element and knew exactly how to turn those casual meet-ups into casual relationships. Ironically, mostly with married women.

Conclusion

In my experience, the women I know want to feel safe in a gym. They don’t want to be hit on there. They want to be hit on when they’re looking their and feeling their best, not when they have no makeup on and are sweaty.

But if you’re anything like my friend and you’re determined to give it a go – try the above 2 methods and contact me to let me know how you get on.

As I said, Method 1 has had some success but Method 2 really does work. I use it all the time.

And even if you don’t get to date them, what’s the worst that’ll happen?

You get fitter, faster and get to workout around some very pretty women. Not a bad consolation prize if you ask me!

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