Best Dating Sites For Open Marriages

In the United States, around 4% of people report being in an open marriage or polyamorous relationship. In fact, some studies suggest that as many as 12% of adults have engaged in at least one non-monogamous relationship in their life. If you’re in an open marriage and looking to broaden your sexual horizons, these statistics will come as welcome news. However, agreeing to an open marriage doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to be flooded with offers of casual sex. Whether you’re going it alone or looking to play together, you’ll need to be targeting suitable candidates. This is where niche dating sites and polyamorous apps come in.

What is an Open Marriage?

Open marriage is a fairly broad term. Historically, it tended to refer solely to the swinging community. In recent years, more people than ever are embracing polyamory. There’s a misconception that open marriages tend to be the result of dissatisfied spouses making an agreement once that seven-year itch makes itself known. In fact, polyamory is far more popular with younger people, with more people entering into relationships and marriages with the agreement that each partner will be free to pursue sexual connections with other people.

Some people are happy to let their other half go out and engage with sexual partners independently. Others are only comfortable with this kind of agreement if both partners are involved. When done right, open marriages can be a healthy alternative to monogamy, allowing everyone involved to satisfy their sexual desires. What’s more, there aren’t any massive expectations put upon a spouse.

The Importance of Finding the Right Dating Site

Over the past two decades, dating sites have become a perfectly acceptable way to meet with new partners. In recent years, the trend has shifted, with romance apps giving way to hook-up apps that focus largely on no-strings sex. Those in an open marriage looking to play the field have plenty of choices when it comes to dating sites. However, remember that you’re playing to a pretty specific user base. As such, finding the right dating site for your needs is crucial.

Pick an everyday dating site and you run the risk of spooking someone you’re interested in when you drop the mention that you’re not quite a free agent. Although you’ll find plenty of willing parties on apps like Tinder, you’ll need to be pretty upfront with your requirements in your profile to be matched with suitable candidates. For those looking to keep their open marriage a secret, this can cause some privacy concerns.

Factors to Consider When Choosing a Dating Site for Open Relationships

Ready to get the ball rolling? Rather than spend countless hours trying each dating site one by one, it’s worth doing your homework before creating an account or hitting that download button. Thankfully, finding the right site to scratch that polyamorous itch is easier than you think.

User Base and Demographics

This is arguably the most important factor to consider when choosing a platform. As a general rule, the more established the platform, the more users you’ll have to connect with. However, open marriage dating sites are a fairly niche concept. Even the most popular sites will have a fraction of the users of more straight-laced sites.

Found a platform with tens of thousands of active users? That’s great, but it’s no guarantee you’re going to find what you’re looking for. Gender ratios need to be looked at before you decide to spend time looking for a connection. As with general dating sites, you’re likely to encounter more male users than females. If you’re a couple looking to bring another guy into the equation, this isn’t an issue. However, if you’re looking for female users, you might be better off with a platform like Ashley Madison (see our AM tips and tricks here on how to get more matches)

Privacy and Security

Some people in open marriages have no qualms about letting others know about their lifestyle. There’s also no worry about your spouse finding out what you’re up to. However, if you’re someone who wants to keep your alternative arrangement on the down low, you’ll want a dating site that boasts reliable security features and excellent privacy controls.

At a minimum, you’ll want the option to keep profile details and photos private until you’re ready to share. Most dating sites offer this functionality, but you may need to upgrade to a premium subscription to unlock them.

Features and User Experience

Some dating sites are easier to use than others. If you want to connect with as many people as possible, choose a site with a stripped-back interface and swipe controls. This way, you’ll be able to sift through hundreds of profiles in minutes.

While many sites are free, you’re ultimately better off biting the bullet and paying for a premium subscription. This not only does away with invasive ads but lets you access advanced features. Look for features that let you see who’s been lurking on your profile and viewing your photos. Some platforms also let you send virtual gifts to other users.

Cost and Value for Money

While some dating sites catering to open marriages offer expensive subscription tiers, most simply let you create an account and start using them for free. While you’ll benefit from limited functionality, you’ll eventually need to upgrade to a paid account to unlock the full potential of these sites and apps.

To make a saving, look for sites that won’t charge you any more for creating both a couple and individual account. Rather than fork out for a rolling subscription, think about exploring platforms that offer in-app upgrades for one-off fees.

Some sites offer full functionality for free for a limited time. However, this is usually capped at your first interaction with another user.

Top Dating Sites for Open Marriages

Thinking about bringing a third into the bedroom? Perhaps you’re seeking some sexual escapades of your own. We’ve shortlisted five of the best dating sites worth checking out if you’re in an open marriage.

1. Feeld

Feeld has been around since 2014, but in its early days, it was better known as 3nder. This location-based dating app can be used by just about anyone, but its chief market is users looking for casual engagements, polyamorous relationships, and sex that veers on the kinky side.

With a huge user base and all preferences catered to, you won’t struggle to find someone to hook up with on Feeld. Sexual discovery is encouraged here. Although free to download and start using, you’ll need to pay to unlock premium features. Feeld offers a paid subscription that boasts some pretty useful features.

Once you upgrade to a Majestic account, you can start seeing who’s looked at your profile and perform more in-depth searches. You can also browse in incognito mode, meaning you don’t have to worry about making awkward conversation with someone you’re not particularly interested in, just because you casually glanced over a single photo.

Pros:

• Huge network of users with high-quality profiles
• Open to users of every gender, as well as couples
• Profiles are strictly moderated, stamping out fakes and bots
• Plenty of advanced features, but you do need to pay for them

Cons:

• Can’t be used on a desktop
• There are more male users than females
• You need to sync your profile with your Facebook account

2. #open

If you’re encountering a gender imbalance with other dating sites, #open is worth looking into. This platform caters to everyone, no matter what their sexual orientation or gender. In short, anything goes here, so if you’re interested in embracing the polyamorous lifestyle, this site will deliver.

One of the great things about #open is that you can really sell yourself with a label that works for you. Although this site caters to couples, you don’t need to always browse as a partnership. With #open, you can instantly switch between your personal profile and your couple one. Perfect for those who like playing together, but always want to pursue their own encounters.

While #open is free to download and use, the fact that it’s a relatively new platform creates some problems. For starters, the matching algorithms aren’t the most advanced. This can lead to you being paired up with profiles that are far outside of your preferences. Furthermore, #open doesn’t require users to verify their identities. While it’s easy enough to report bots and fake profiles, there’s always a chance you’ll encounter some.

Pros:

• Plenty of other users to connect with
• Lets you switch between individual and couple profiles
• You can chat alongside your partner
• Excellent privacy and security features

Cons:

• Still a new platform, so you may encounter some time wasters
• Matching algorithms could still use some work
• Lack of identity verification

3. BiCupid

Launched in 2003, BiCupid has been a go-to for married couples and polyamorous adventurers for years now. As the name suggests, this platform is geared toward users comfortable assigning themself to the bisexual category. However, you don’t need to swing both ways to make full use of this dating site. BiCupid actively encourages couples, as well as single people, to create an account and start connecting.

No matter what your preference, you’re bound to find someone who’s up for fun here. If you’re in an open relationship and looking for a third party to add to the equation, BiCupid is a great starting point. Alternatively, you’re free to browse the network for one-on-one encounters.

There are around a million active profiles in the United States alone. Meanwhile, the owners of BiCupid claim that thousands of new users are joining the platform every week. These statistics will be welcome to anyone looking for fuss-free connections, but there’s a catch. There’s a disproportionate number of male users on this site, with most of them being over the age of 25. In other words, if you’re looking for a twenty-something female, don’t expect instant success with BiCupid.

Pros:

• Plenty of bisexual users, making it a good choice for married couples
• Free to register and browse
• Open to singletons and couples alike
• User-friendly mobile app makes finding a connection easy

Cons:

• You’ll need to upgrade to a premium account to access advanced features
• Don’t expect any advanced algorithms here
• Pretty small user base outside of the US
• A lot of male users

4. PolyFinda

Previously known as Polyamorous Meetup when it launched in 2016, this dating network made the right choice when it rebranded as PolyFinda. Once again, the name of this platform tells you everything you need to know. It’s geared squarely towards the polyamorous community, welcoming users of any gender or relationship status.

Getting started with PolyFinda is incredibly easy. It’s free to create an account. Let other users know if you’re a lone wolf looking to connect for no-strings sex, or a committed couple eager to welcome a third (or fourth) into the mix.

Although PolyFinda is well worth looking into if you’re seeking open-minded adventures, it’s not the most user-friendly platform out there. Simply creating an account takes effort. Once you’ve registered with PolyFinda, things get even more complicated. This site asks you to get really specific with your details. Once you’ve worked gender, relationship status, sexual preference and more into the mix, you may struggle to find anyone halfway appealing within a reasonable distance.

Pros:

• Geared clearly toward polyamorous users
• More cost-effective than other platforms
• Good privacy features

Cons:

• Ugly interface and awkward navigation
• Creating a profile takes too long
• Not the biggest pool of users

5. MoreThanOne

MoreThanOne is a fairly new addition to the polyamorous dating scene. However, if you’re in an open marriage and looking to play, it’s worth adding to your phone. Registration is easy, although you’ll need to use your phone number and email address to create an account.

Once you’ve done this, you’re ready to create a profile and start exploring. You can specify whether you’re an individual or one half a couple looking to experiment. You can also specify your sexual orientation and what exactly you’re looking for. You’ll need to select from a dropdown list of options here. This might seem fairly limited, but there are a lot of choices here.

MoreThanOne will use your location and preferences to build a list of suitable matches. Like any profile, you’re interested in and start testing the waters. If you don’t want to be bombarded by messages, you can select an option to only receive messages from profiles you’ve previously liked. This is perfect if you’re too nice to let someone down gently.

Pros:

• It’s quick and easy to create an account
• Completely free to use
• Excellent interface and navigation
• Will appeal to Tinder users

Cons:

• Fairly small user base
• Matching algorithms aren’t the best
• You’ll encounter fake profiles from time to time

How To Make the Most Out of Dating Sites for Open Marriages

Navigating the world of online dating is tricky enough. When you factor in an open marriage, it becomes even more difficult. However, you can boost your odds of landing a catch with a few tweaks of your profile and following some basic online etiquette.

Creating a Strong Profile

Making a strong first impression counts in the dating world. It’s arguably more important if you’re angling for casual sex. If you’re in an open marriage, you’ll need to be even savvier with how you market yourself. Some users are going to be pretty open to the idea from the get-go, while others may take time to warm up to the idea.

The best advice here is to be upfront about your situation and what you’re looking for. Other users are going to appreciate transparency here. Make your current relationship status clear and outline what’s on the table. Ideally, you should also provide a link to your partner’s profile. This way, you’re not going to come across as someone who’s doing the dirty on their spouse.

Interacting with Other Users

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. This age-old proverb should be your mantra if you’re in an open relationship and looking for casual sex with other people. If you’ve joined an active community that caters to the polyamorous community, there’s a good chance that you’ll have plenty of offers land in your inbox. However, you still need to be proactive. If you’ve joined a community that’s tailored toward the poly crowd, other users are going to expect a certain level of forwardness. Confidence isn’t just attractive, it’s an essential quality in these circles.

Likewise, don’t leave other users hanging if they’ve sent you a message. You can always block and refuse to reply to anyone you’re not interested in, but who knows if you’ll change your mind down the line.

Safety and Etiquette

Safety is a real concern if you’re using a platform that doesn’t require verified identification. Fake profiles, bots and scams are something you’ll eventually encounter. Look for all the usual hallmarks of a scam every time you receive a message from a stranger. Does their profile photo look legit? Does their description look like it was written by a real person? The real tell will come when you start talking to them. If the conversation quickly switches to requests for money, this is a red flag that you’re likely dealing with a scammer. At this point, block the profile in question and report it to the site operators.

While scammers are a constant threat, you’ll be dealing with far more real users than fake profiles. Therefore, you need to brush up on the basics of online etiquette. While your profile should have outlined your status and intentions clearly, reaffirm this once you start talking to someone. It’s even more important to lay down the ground rules if you’re speaking to a single person. You and your spouse may be fine with no-strings sex with other people, but you don’t want to end up with a potential stalker upsetting your dynamic.

If you’re using a more traditional dating site, you’ll need to be even more forward about your specific situation. Some people are going to have a hard time wrapping their heads around the idea of open marriages and polyamorous sexual relationships. If someone doesn’t want to play, don’t force their hand.

Should You Use a Dating Site?

Open agreements can be a lifesaver for marriages that are getting a little stale. Once you and your spouse have given the green light to have sex outside of the marital bed, you can start exploring your options. Dating sites are a great way of finding suitable third parties to play with, but you need to do your research before casting the line.

Ideally, use an established platform that’s geared toward the poly community. For transparency, it’s also a good idea to choose a platform that lets you and your partner chat together. If you’re after quick results, don’t put off making the switch to premium. You’ll benefit from improved accessibility and advanced features that will take all of the hassle out of finding new sex partners.

Round-Up: Best Dating Sites for Open Marriages

There’s no shortage of dating apps for people in open marriages. PolyFinda is one of the most basic of the bunch, but a dedicated user base and decent privacy features make it worth trying at least once. MoreThanOne is another great option if you’re looking for a free-to-use platform. It’s quick to create an account and get started, while the streamlined interface makes it a pleasure to use.

For couples who like exploring together, there’s #open. You can switch between solo accounts and couple accounts whenever the mood takes you. Meanwhile, superior privacy features mean you can keep your arrangement a secret. If you want to target a broad pool of potential hookups, think about using BiCupid. Although it’s not specifically tailored toward poly couples, its huge bisexual user base means you won’t struggle to find someone to join in the fun.

However, it’s Feeld that really stands out. It’s one of the oldest poly sites around, with an unmatched user base and razor focus on open relationships. There are also plenty of advanced features that make it easy to find someone who shares specific interests and kinks.

Final Thoughts

If you’re in an open marriage, dating apps are the easiest way to find like-minded singles and other couples to explore with. It certainly takes the awkwardness out of heading down to your local bar to pick up a stranger. What’s more, the best platforms let couples play the field together. At the end of the day, you need to find a platform that works for you. If you’re thinking about your first threesome, go with a platform with a big bisexual user base. If you want to go bold in the bedroom and indulge in sexual fantasies, choose a site used by people who have no problem telling you about their kinks.

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